Title: Starting Over
Pairing: Akame
Rating: NC-17
Genre: Comedy, Romance, Drama, Angst, Smut… and Fantasy I guess ‘cause hey, someone’s time traveling
Beta:
kyleeersDisclaimer: If I owned them, I wouldn’t be writing fics here. I’d be out there supervising their wedding photoshoot.
Warning: Scenarios written for the photos are fictional (and not necessarily patterned against publicized flow of events) and did not occur in real life or so we think and hope otherwise.
Summary: Kame is sent back to five points in the past in order to change the present. And maybe the future. Hallelujah chance!
oOo
“Nice monologue.”
Kame was once again sprawled on the sofa with Fairy YamaPi standing over him, a sneer desperately trying to conceal itself on his face. Kame was getting sick of coming to in very awkward poses, and this fairy did not appear to give much thought to personal space.
The other man’s face turned rather grave as he surveyed Kame’s somewhat tired face, saying, “But now you are on your final chance.”
Kame sighed, and somehow even the fairy knew that this was not a moment to poke fun at the actor.
“What is wrong?”
“I just need a moment,” Kame replied, raising from his seat and approaching the hallway. “Can I - would it be alright if I were alone for - for this last chance?”
The fairy studied him for a bit, and Kame could almost see pity and sympathy in Fairy YamaPi’s eyes.
At last, the man replied, “Of course.”
Kame nodded and resumed walking down the hallway.
“Oh and,” Fairy YamaPi spoke again. “I would not come back after this, so I bid you goodbye.”
Kame smiled. Even if the fairy had been majorly annoying for the most part, he was supportive in his own way.
“Good luck, Kamenashi Kazuya.”
The YamaPi look-alike vanished right before Kame’s eyes, and the house fell silent. Kame entered his bedroom and plopped down on his bed with another sigh, turning the photo album to the page of the last photo… his final chance.
oOo
Kame stumbled through the set of D-motion, his mind not exactly on the PV shoot that was happening. It was, after all, his final chance.
Do or die moment. Kame told himself that, whatever happens, he will confess to Akanishi now, because there was nothing more to lose. He’d already lost Akanishi once, when the older man left KAT-TUN. Kame already knew how it felt and was prepared for it.
He would confess for his own peace of mind, and, at this point, even Akanishi’s reaction did not matter anymore.
“Kamenashi-san, daijoubu?” a crewman asked as he caught Kame, having tripped over some of the power cables on set. Kame merely nodded and resumed his brisk walking in search of a particular man.
Originally, D-motion was just about as dead to Kame as, well, someone dead. He hated this PV shoot, and the feeling of dread that crept up at him throughout the day. He was constantly reminded that this was the last time he would ever do this; shoot a promotional video with Akanishi.
It sucked.
He wished he could stop Jin from leaving, but he could not and he would not, because it was what Jin wanted anyway.
Today, though, coming back here, Kame was frantic and panicky, and upon finding Jin in one of the dressing rooms, Kame thought his time for rationalizing with himself was over. Kame was going to tell Akanishi Jin that he loved the older man, and fuck all consequences hereafter.
“J - Jin - ”
Akanishi almost flinches at Kame’s call. It has been, what, two years? Two years since Kame last called him that.
“What’s the matter?” Jin asked, looking Kame over.
Kame must look like hell right now. He’d been running around, panicking for reasons unapparent to anyone but himself, because he alone knew what was going on.
Only he knew that he was on his final chance.
“Is there an emergency or something?” concern flashed over Akanishi’s features - at least the parts of his face not hidden by his wild-colored sunglasses.
“No, I - ” Kame’s words caught up in his throat, and he was grateful for the excuse that was his breathlessness.
“There is something… I have to tell you.”
Jin took a step back, like he was trying to find better footing. He suddenly looked nervous, too. He probably thought Kame was going to say something about his plans on leaving the group. Well, it was related, but not exactly.
“Okay,” the older man replied quietly, testing the waters. “I am listening.”
Kame stared for a bit more, and Akanishi merely stared back, waiting.
“Jin…” Kame began uncertainly, and at this Akanishi took off his sunglasses.
“I am in love with you.”
Jin stared, disbelief - or was that disgust? - slowly creeping up his face.
“Really,” he said mockingly.
“I’m serious!”
“Well, fuck you!”
Kame stared. Why was Akanishi’s reaction like that? They have not been okay for the past two years, but confessing his feelings, Kame would have expected Jin to pity him, feel sorry for him, and even be disgusted about it. Not like this.
“Why are you telling me this?!” Akanishi yelled, and comprehension dawned on Kame’s face. “Are you telling me this just to make me stay in KAT-TUN?!”
Kame stared some more, unable to comprehend why Akanishi was acting so hurt and angry over his confession.
“Fuck you, Kamenashi,” Jin says again, coming nearer. “All you think about is your career and how to avoid problems. You never think about what people around you feel. Fuck you. Fuck your illusions of keeping this group perfect in your hands. I’ve got news for you. It is not perfect and it is not in your hands. I’m leaving. I won’t be your puppet anymore. You cannot use me to your advantage. I hope the others would realize that - ”
Kame could not believe what he was hearing. Did Jin sincerely think he was just using the older man? Did Jin think so lowly of him? Kame would never confess to having feelings for someone just to make them bend to his will. Jin was being irrational. Kame did not understand -
“Jin - what are you - ” Kame stuttered as Akanishi came closer, hands reaching for the lapel of Kame’s coat.
Kame fleetingly studied the older man in front of him. Jin looked livid. His face was taut and emotionless, but his hands were trembling as he pulled Kame closer without a trace of affection.
“This is what you want, isn’t it?” Jin snarled, his breath hot and humid on Kame’s face. “This is what you want?” Jin repeated, gritting his teeth.
Kame cannot understand why he was that way. Why Akanishi seemed unable to release his fury at that moment, when he was known to be such a straightforward person in the past.
“Fine,” Jin continued, and for a moment Kame was lost. “Fine, let’s do it and then you shut up - ”
“What are you doing - Jin!”
Kame’s nervous protest remained unspoken as Akanishi unbuckled his belt and undid his pants. The younger man stared in horrified awe as Jin took Kame’s length in his hands and began stroking him. Why was Akanishi doing this?
“Jin - stop! Please!”
“Let’s do it this one goddamn time and then promise me - ” Akanishi’s body was already pressed onto Kame’s, Kame’s back against the curtained wall. “ - promise me that you will forget about it and that you will shut the fuck up - ”
Jin started pressing kisses on his neck as the man fumbled with his own jeans. Kame could have pushed Akanishi off him and run away at that moment, but he was too shaken, almost dazed, to move from his spot. His hands were merely dangling at his sides and were not even attempting to stop whatever the taller man was doing to him.
Jin continued to lick and bite where he could at Kame’s shoulders and chest. Tears began to form in the younger man’s eyes, and he did not know why. He did not understand what was happening.
Kame felt himself being spun around, his legs shuffling with his pants around his ankles. At that, he somehow knew what was coming next. Kame pressed his palms against the curtained wall, still unable to stifle a cry as Jin entered him.
At least he’s lubed himself, Kame sarcastically thought to himself as Akanishi’s hands gripped at his hips, a sigh escaping them both. He almost forgot that what was happening was against his will - because damn, Akanishi felt good moving in and out of him - almost slipped his mind that the older man was angry with him, and he was generously reminded of that when Jin started muttering profanities at him that he was sure was not about the sex.
oOo
Jin did not even know why he tried to keep speaking. This man in front of him, the man he was currently fucking, did not care. He especially did not care about Jin. He came into Jin’s life and turned everything upside down for the older man, and now that Jin’s making a move to keep his life back on track - because it would never be if he was around Kame - Kame literally comes at him and makes his life just a bit messier.
“Fuck - you - ” Jin muttered as he pounded into Kame, who curiously was not making a sound at all, just desperately gripping the curtains on the wall from what he could see.
Kame’s head was bowed, turned away from him. Well, that was fine. Kame did not care after all. Jin can do that.
“You selfish - bastard - ” Jin stammered, not so much because of fury but because he was running out of breath, trying to push himself over the edge.
Kame telling him that he loved Jin… a few years, even months ago, Jin would have been happy to hear that. He would have fallen for the sick joke. But, as always, Kame underestimated him. The younger man thought a confession in the nick of time would save his ass and keep Jin from ruining the perfect - and yet false - image he had created for KAT-TUN.
“I - fucking hate you,” Jin let out, his hip movements speeding up although he felt Kame momentarily stiffen under his tight grip at his words.
Kame had made everyone believe that KAT-TUN was okay, that KAT-TUN was perfect. Well, maybe the five of them were, but it was never near perfect for Akanishi. Especially not since that night two years ago when - well, Kamenashi was probably drunk, that was why he thought a bit of cuddling and kissing would be perfectly okay. He did not have a clue just how, with that kiss, he had made sure Jin’s head - and career - were messed up for the next two years.
“You - you do not know - ” Jin’s eyes began to fill with tears even as he felt himself nearing his climax. “You don’t know - ” he tried again, clearing his voice even if it did not matter what he sounded like because they were just fucking, and for all he could see Kame was still silent, trying to be indifferent, probably just enjoying this.
Management inevitably became stricter because of what happened between them on YamaPi’s birthday two years ago, but Jin never got around to blaming Kame for it until much, much later.
It was a kiss. Jin was surprised, but he would be a fool if he denied to himself that he had wanted it.
Jin obediently bowed his head after the agency instructed him to never speak with Kame ever again off cam. Days passed and he did not wonder why they had made Jin do that, but he did wonder why Kame did not… Kame never even tried to clear things up between them.
Well fuck that. Jin was not going to go and beg for Kame’s attention. So he ignored the other man for years to come.
“Ji - Jiiiiin…” was the first sound Kame made in a while, just as the both of them came hard - Jin into Kame, and Kame into his hand. Jin snorted when he realized the smaller man had been touching himself. Selfish bastard, indeed. Never lets himself be left out, never lets other people take something from him without getting something in return.
oOo
Kame breathed hard against the curtain, his face sweaty and his vision a bit blurry. This has got to be the most fucked up situation he has ever been in, and that is saying something considering that he even got to relive bits of his past. Kame sighed as he closed his eyes, praying for the first time that all of this were just a bad dream, but then, the feeling of Jin pulling out of him was too real, leaving him empty both in emotion and physically.
Kame opened his tired eyes as he felt himself being spun around. Akanishi’s pants were already back up. Kame felt like shit right now, Jin had practically just raped him and now he was going to hear the worst of it. The gloating, the insults, the - Kame’s eyes widened when Jin leaned in and kissed him roughly, their mouths crashing together badly Kame prayed his lips would not be bruised. He felt he had to answer. He owed it to himself. He kissed back, just because maybe - no, not maybe - just because this was the last time he would ever get to do this now.
“There,” Akanishi said, pulling back with a stiff sneer on his face. Kame stared up at the older man’s face quite helplessly.
“Happy now? You are such a slut. Boy, am I glad I’m leaving - ”
Tears brimmed in Kame’s eyes, and thankfully Akanishi finally chose that moment to let go of him and walk away, exiting the dressing room without another word or even a glance over his shoulder. Kame hurried to put his pants back up and arrange his clothes on him. They still had a photoshoot to finish, not to mention Kame still had a long day ahead if he remembered his schedule right and he needed to -
The tears finally fell. Schedule? What schedule? Kame silently slid down to the floor, trying his best to wipe his face with his hands, but the tears would not stop. This “present” ends when the photographer takes that picture of him and Akanishi on set. That concludes his last chance at winning Akanishi over.
That ends all this madness.
Kame sat on the floor for a few moments more, composing himself. He was not a top-rating actor for nothing. He stood up, and if not for the traces of tears no one would know that Kamenashi Kazuya practically cried his soul out. Tissue boxes were a standard supply in dressing rooms, and Kame got himself a handful and cleaned his face and hands.
Walking out of the dressing room, he sought his makeup artist and had his makeup redone. Akanishi was standing to the side, deep in conversation with someone from the staff. His sunglasses were back on and he did not spare a glance as Kame walked on set.
The director finally called out their surnames and Kame took a deep breath before complying, his face blank and unconcerned. Kame stood at the back, Akanishi closer to the camera. A flash. More flashes. Kame cannot remember anymore how many shots it took until the photographer requested them to change places. Flash. Kame was beginning to feel tired. He set his gaze on the floor after half a glance at Akanishi behind him - another flash - who was preoccupied with his nails or something. Another flash -
2010! D-motion PV shoot - last shop picture of Jin and Kazuya
And Kame was back in his living room.
oOo
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