Who Are We? - Chapter 10 (Final)
Title: Who Are We?
Pairing: Akame
Genre: AU, Romance
Rating: NC-17
Beta: infynitehexes (お疲れ様でした、アンバサダーさん！)
Disclaimer: Own nothing but the plot, sadly.
Warnings: I don’t know how to warn you without spoiling the story so just read at your own risk. LOL
Summary: He wakes up naked to find himself in bed with a beautiful young man and without any of his memories. What’s his name again?
A/N: Special thanks to gaea_chan for a bit of help with the final stuff. Oh man, I’m both sad and relieved that it’s done. For the last time, enjoy!
Chapter 10 (FINAL)
Jin gets a jolt of surprise when he hears the front door close quite loudly, followed by the cautious call of a woman’s voice. He had not gone out of his room after having that confrontation with Kame. He isn’t even sure how much time has passed; and he was really planning on just staying in bed, never mind that he had not had anything to eat since that morning, or that he had no idea where Kame had gone off to. It’s not that Jin doesn’t care what Kame feels - because, despite all his fury, he can’t deny that he truly does care - just that right now Jin thinks Kame doesn’t deserve that concern.
“Jin-kun?”
Kame’s mother appears in the doorway of Jin’s bedroom, still in her travel clothes but looking very much relieved to be finally home. Kame did mention in his note earlier that night that he’d be picking her up from the airport. Jin wonders where she went for vacation. And then he realizes that if she’s already here, then Kame must have brought her home with him. Jin’s not sure if he’s ready to see his annoying little face again just yet. The night hasn’t even passed.
“It’s late, but would you like to have some tea with me?” the woman asks when Jin looks at her, and she’s smiling in such a kind way that it was hard for Jin to turn her down. He reminds himself that she has nothing to do with his anger for Kame.
Jin gets up from his bed and follows Kame’s mom downstairs into the kitchen where a steaming pot already waits. He sits along the counter quietly as he watches her pour them a cup each, observing the vapor slowly rise and vanish.
“Is there a problem,” she asks, making Jin tear his gaze away from the steam, “between you and Kazuya?”
And then Jin remembers… she thinks he and Kame are in a relationship! She’s one more puzzle Jin hasn’t figured out yet. Now Jin is dying to ask why she believes they’re a couple, but he doesn’t want to be rude. Again, he reminds himself that raging at Kame should be enough; no one else needs to be chastised over it, especially not an elderly woman who may be just as clueless as Jin.
“He dropped me off and then went out again… I think he’s avoiding you.”
“I - we - we got into a fight,” Jin answers, not meeting her eyes but listening for her reactions all the same.
He doesn’t say anything more, because there’s not much to say anyway. He doesn’t want to get carried away with pretending in front of her, too, because this is Kame’s mom. And she has supposedly known Jin since he was a kid, too.
You’ve known Kame since you were children, too, Jin tells himself, and suddenly it sinks in how much it sucks that the one person he trusted all throughout this whole ordeal turned out to be the biggest liar his life has ever known. Then he had shooed Kame away even before the younger man got to explain why in the world he did what he did, but Jin was not sure he could have listened if Kame stayed and talked.
Kame seemed eager, too, to get out of Jin’s way while Jin was fuming. The selfish bastard. He would make the most out of Jin’s situation and just walk out when things got ugly. Jin bet Kame did not expect things to get ugly this way, though. Despite his scheming ways, Kame was a bit overdramatic about this whole thing. Maybe that is why his plan failed.
“That’s normal between couples, you know,” she says after taking a sip from her own cup. “Relationships are built on the most severe fights and, more importantly, how they are patched up.”
That makes sense, Jin thinks, except that in their case, they really weren’t a couple in the first place, so there really is no need to ‘patch things up.’ Right now, Jin would just like to get away from it all, get away from Kame. It aggravates Jin every time it crosses his mind how Kame tricked him, simply put.
Jin raises the cup to his lips but doesn’t drink, still lost in thought.
The sex. The glorious damned sex. Jin knows he had a hand in it, that he prompted them and brought it upon himself. But the thought of being used left a bitter taste in the mouth. He knows what he feels for Kame is real; that even if he can’t remember anything, he had fallen in love with the younger man. And that man used him and took advantage of his weaknesses.
“I know it’s unusual, but I prefer you two together over having… separate relationships with other women - or men, for that matter,” Kame’s mom says, breaking Jin out of his trance. It is unusual indeed for Jin, and for a moment he wonders if his own mother had expected him to end up with Kame, too. “Your relationship since you two were young… it was just… different.”
Her eyes mist over when she reminisces of times from Jin and Kame’s past together, and Jin bitterly wishes he could remember those, too. His memories can’t come back quick enough, apparently.
“That fight you had in your senior year in highschool, though - I thought your friendship was going to end there,” she recalls fondly, smiling as she gazes at Jin, as if seeing the highschool version of him once more. “You didn’t talk for months!” she adds, laughing.
“What… did we fight about?” Jin asks before he could stop himself, and consequently, Kame’s mom looks at him curiously. “I mean, I kinda remember but it’s very vague,” he fibs.
She smiles at him again as she responds, “It’s vague for me too because you two never really made sense when you finally told me about it. But I think it was after Kazuya got into a fight alone with a group of boys from Ara High?”
Jin nods, wishing again that he had this memory with him.
“I remember hearing you yell at him about how you could have fought together, and he wouldn’t have suffered as much if he had let you join him - ”
“I… wanted to protect him…?”
“That was really sweet of you, Jin,” she agrees, completely missing the inquiring tone in Jin’s voice. “But the both of you were rather stupid back then. Kazuya said he didn’t tell you because he wanted to protect you.”
And then Jin sees it, a memory that’s more like a flash in front of his eyes: an excessively skinny Kame with orange hair was lying in a hospital bed, unconscious and beat up all over. And Jin can remember it was the boys from their rival school who did it to Kame, and that Jin was furious with them. He was incensed with Kame, too, for facing them on his own and thinking he could take them on all by himself. But above all, Jin could remember the feeling of extreme hate directed at himself he had at that time, because he had failed to protect Kame.
“Those Ara High boys - they were very dangerous,” Kame’s mom continues, lost in her own reminiscences. “What kind of highschool students go around hunting down a list of other highschool students? No wonder you two were in so much trouble back then, and Kazuya felt the need to take care of it all by himself…”
Yes, now Jin can remember that, too. Kame met up with the Ara High boys for a deal: they could beat him up all they wanted, but in return they would stay away from Jin and the rest of their class.
“He really looked after me, then…” Jin confirms, feeling nostalgic as he somehow recalls meeting up with Kame at the riverbank near their school a couple of months later. They had a shouting match, ending with a lot of punches thrown and a good deal of kicks landed, until they ended up beating each other up quite badly. But not too long after, they collapsed on the damp grass laughing at themselves. Relationships, even friendships, are built on the most brutal struggles, indeed.
“And then you two entered university!” she cries out animatedly. “Two very attractive boys - naturally, everyone was swooning around you two. Kazuya even got a girlfriend - ”
Jin’s ears perk up on that one, but it seems to be a thing of the past that Kame’s mom would rather put out of their minds as she shakes her head in conclusion to her little narrative, “But I’m happy now. I know Kazuya loves you, and you make Kazuya happy.”
She pats Jin gently on the head as she speaks, and it’s a very familiar feeling, like she’s been doing that to Jin for a very long time. While he still can’t manage to smile back, he looks meaningfully at her as he tries to convey his thanks.
“Whatever you’re fighting over right now, I’m sure you’ll be able to rise above it,” she says, now grasping his hand in hers. “Take care of each other as you always have, okay?”
Jin nods, and he’s unsure why he does, because right now he feels nothing but resentment for this man he’s being told to take care of… But still, he nods.
oOo
“Kame, I - ” Jin tried, struggling to keep his eyes open despite the haze that had seemed to settle around him. Where was he again?
But then, the steady heavy pounding of the loudspeakers across the room and the frenzied lasers flashing above reminded him. Right, he was in some lush, upmarket private club. It was a batch party, celebrating their graduation way too early. They all had a semester to go before finishing school, but their bunch was a rowdy one. This merrymaking was actually one of the more innocent activities they had engaged in.
They were a loud and unruly crowd in general, Jin included. Across the dance floor was one of his best buddies, Ryo, dancing with a junior in a way so morally wrong even Jin thinks they should get a room. Sitting with a blonde at the bar was Tomo. They seemed to be having a drinking contest which, Jin was sure, could only end up in bed. Jin’s best friend sent him a glance, and they nodded at each other. Tomo of course knew what Jin was up to tonight.
Up at one of the booths were Jin’s foreign friends. Dominic, Lizzy, Aubree, and a couple of other students were huddled around Josh, murmuring their conversation then suddenly bursting with laughter. For a moment, Jin thought they might be talking about that little tryst Jin had with Lizzy earlier in the bathroom (he even got her undies as souvenir), but he couldn’t care less. Not tonight.
They were a rough and rebellious lot indeed, but in front of Jin right now was an exception. Well, if those wicked hips were not to be held against him.
“Kame - ” Jin tried again, this time managing to focus his eyes on his friend, whom he now had cornered, pressed up against the wall.
Jin was hoping that by the end of this night, he would be able to call Kame more than a friend. God knows how long he had been waiting for this - to gather up the courage and confess to the man he had loved for as far back as he could remember. So what if Kame had a girlfriend? Jin knew Kame before that girl - what was her name again? Anne? - had ever as much as laid eyes on him. Besides, they haven’t been meeting as frequently these days, and Kame didn’t mention her anymore.
“Jin - ” Kame panted as they continued to dance, barely touching each other. “I think you’re - already drunk - ”
“Ha!” Jin laughed, finally inching closer and placing his arms around Kame’s waist.
Kame’s breathing hitched, but he did not object or make any sort of protest.
“You bet I’m drunk,” Jin whispered, purposefully brushing his lips against Kame’s earlobe, earning a shudder from the younger man. “In fact -”
Jin bucked his hips forward, bringing forth a gasp and a small, delicious moan that was absolute music to his ears. He was supposed to make an innocent confession tonight, but hey, if things turned out well then there was no problem with getting more than an ‘I love you, too,’ from Kame, right?
“I’m drugged, too.”
Kame chuckled, more drawn out than when sober, and Jin liked it, nipping at Kame’s jaw in approval. At last, Kame placed his hands on the back of Jin’s head, pulling the taller man close and Jin obliged, pressing their bodies together. It was as if the loud music and weird lights had faded into the background, and now all Jin could focus on was the person in front of him: the heat of their skin pressed against each other through their sweat-drenched clothes, the plump and sensual lips Jin had been eyeing all night, the hands slowly massaging his scalp. There was just absolutely no way this night would end up badly.
“And if you’re drugged -”
It was Kame’s turn to whisper into his ear, blowing softly so that it tickled a bit.
“What are you going to do?”
“To you?”
Kame nodded, his eyes closed and his chest heaving as their bodies continued to move against each other in a manner that clearly did not look like dancing anymore.
“What can you make me do?”
At Jin’s question, Kame crushed their lips together and kissed like there was no tomorrow. There was no fancy lip-pulling or flimsy asking for permission, just straight and torrid mouth on mouth, as sloppy as it gets, and Jin did not give a fuck about where they were anymore. He wanted Kame right then and there. Him slipping a hand under Kame’s shirt seemed to have made the younger man come to his senses though, if there was any sense left in their given state, and made the other pull away.
“What?” Jin asked, anger bubbling to the surface right away after being denied of his candy.
The smirk Kame gave him, though, instantly wiped off that shallow emotion, only to be replaced by primal desire.
“Not here.”
Jin bit his lip as he thought it out, but he decided that, yeah, Kame was right. He didn’t want their first time together to be in some club like it was a random fuck or something, because this was Kame. Jin grinned at the other as he took his hand, making their way through the crowd to the exit.
oOo
“Ugh… Jin…”
Kame rolled over to the side of the bed, making room for Jin.
“Kiss me again, please~” Jin pleaded childishly, grabbing Kame by the waist and pulling him close.
“I’m already tired, Jin,” Kame half whined and half breathed against the side of Jin’s face.
They had come home from the batch party early, evidently having made other plans for the two of them alone. A couple of hours later, though - with countless rounds of handjobs, desperately needy making out, and blowjobs behind them - they found themselves still unable to do it.
They both had never been with men, and, well, it’s not the easiest thing to do when you’re drunk as hell (and drugged to boot in Jin’s case). Jin was supposed to work up the courage to confess to Kame, but the courage to have sex in such a novel way had not really turned up in his brain just yet. Maybe, he’s going to take it one step at a time after all.
“Where are you going?”
It was Jin’s turn to whine when he felt Kame get up from the bed.
“Relax, I’ll just go and get a glass of water,” Kame soothed him with a soft reply. “You want anything?”
“Nah,” Jin responded, rolling to lie on his side. “Just get back in bed with me. Quick,” he requested, or more like commanded.
Kame did his characteristic chuckle and wrapped a towel around his waist as he exited the room. On his way out, Jin thought he saw Kame pick something up from the floor, but in the dark he couldn’t make the shape out.
Kame was careful not to make a sound when he goes down the stairs. His mom was probably already asleep. She seemed really confused when she saw the two boys arrive, coming in laughing and unable to walk a straight path. Kame will need to explain to her tomorrow why he and Jin were a little more than tangled together as they went up to their room… Then again, she might have already noticed how Kame‘s room was actually empty. Coupled with the carelessly vulgar sounds they had been making all night, she probably already knew what was going on.
God, did Kame need to explain things to his mom so badly.
Before coming into the kitchen, Kame went to the laundry room and warily tucked away the jacket Jin had used for the night along with other dirty laundry. Balled up within the piece of clothing was a lace undergarment, and Kame was quite sure whom it belonged to. Bitterly, he left the laundry room and went to the kitchen for that glass of water.
Kame had always known Jin was a playboy. The older man had never had a serious relationship, perhaps by choice because he preferred random dates and one night stands. Kame would have wanted to change that in Jin but, on the very night that he had confessed to having feelings and evidently strong desire for Kame, Jin still had some spare, a sideshow possibly if he wasn’t too satisfied with Kame.
Kame accidentally slammed the drinking glass on the kitchen counter and apologized to no one in particular for the noise.
Coming back up to the bedroom, he found Jin already asleep and he stared at the man for a while.
Kame loved him, he truly did. But he would have to set things straight, maybe have a serious talk with Jin tomorrow when they’re sober, because he will not let them go into a relationship without having a clear notion of what they really are and how they ought to act.
He smiled when Jin stirred in his sleep, murmuring something that curiously sounded like ‘turtle.’ Despite what happened tonight between Jin and Lizzy, Kame was really happy that Jin had finally confessed to him. He of course knew it was going to happen, thanks to YamaPi, and he was glad that Jin had made an effort to own up to his feelings; the same way Kame did when he finally broke up with Anne.
Kame’s sure a lot of men were glad that they weren’t together anymore, and Anne does deserve someone who will keep her happy. Kame did and still does love her. But this thing he had for Jin… it’s been here for a long time.
Maybe it’s been here since the day they met.
Kame sighed, deciding to climb back into bed. It was Jin who made room on the bed for him this time, and even though Kame was sure Jin was fast asleep and probably dreaming, the taller man pulled him into his arms possessively, as if reminding Kame to make good on his request.
oOo
Jin wakes up at four AM, and he doesn’t know if it’s because of the headache or because of the dream. The dream is a memory, though, and Jin’s all too sure exactly when it took place. Trying to clear his head, he gets out of bed and goes down to the kitchen for a glass of water.
The house is still and silent and all the lights are out, but he knows that going back to bed won’t get him any sleep. Proceeding into the living room after getting his drink in the kitchen, he finds an equally restless Kame resting on the sofa in the dark. When he flicks on the light, Kame sits up straight and looks uneasily at him, perhaps afraid that Jin would take to shouting at him again.
Jin sits down on the smaller couch, though, and sets his drinking glass on the side table. They sit there in silence, not exactly companionable, but they both know neither wants to be the first to speak up. Jin is too exhausted to, and Kame seems too apprehensive to organize his thoughts at all. We don’t need to do this at four in the morning, Jin thinks as he sits back and closes his eyes, knowing that the other man is watching him.
“Don’t you want to know… why I - ” Kame tries, but his words catch up in his throat, and the prickly, painful silence is back. Jin keeps his eyes shut, fleetingly thinking that he had just imagined Kame’s voice talking. It’s real, though, and it’s there, hanging, waiting to know if he needs to say more.
Jin still doesn’t understand everything, his memories are coming back in a broken, disorganized manner, but even without the complete picture, he knows in his heart that this one feeling has been guiding him all along. Blaming Kame for it will get him nowhere.
“In a few days, the effects of the drugs will finally wear off of my system,” Jin says with his eyes closed. Kame’s too quiet on his side but he continues anyway. “I’ll be able to remember everything. The past might - or might not - have the answers to why you did… what you did, but - I’ve lost my memory once already. I think it’s about time I learned to just let go of some things.”
Kame doesn’t answer, remains noiseless on the other couch, and Jin opens his eyes to find Kame looking back at him with tears in his eyes.
“I understand…” Kame says bitterly, fighting to keep a steady voice despite his tears. Clearly, he doesn’t understand. “Jin, just… It may be too much to ask for - but I hope we can go back to the way things were… when your memory comes back…”
Jin is now uncertain on how to proceed. It’s another of those spontaneous choices, but hasn’t he learned, too, that in the absence of his memories, his heart would guide him all along?
“Kame, about letting go of some things… I didn’t mean that I’m letting go of you,” Jin is speaking in an urgent voice, though he’s not sure why. All he knows is that he needs to get this straight. He needs Kame to understand what he’s trying to say.
“I meant, I’d like to let go of my fears… of being in a relationship with you.”
oOo
Epilogue
Jin runs as fast as his legs would carry him, his heart thumping loudly and the wind rushing in his ears. He’s going to be late, he knows it, but he’s not going to miss the one chance he has for his entire plan to work.
Kame ends his lecture at exactly 11:50 AM, allowing ten minutes for quick consultation with students who may have some questions about the day’s discussion. If he doesn’t get stalled - and harassed - by his female students, Kame gets out of the classroom by 12 noon and proceeds to his office to get his things. That takes about five to seven minutes and for sure, by 12:10 PM Kame would already be walking out of the building.
Kame has a very precise routine, and Jin has it all noted to the dot, so that he arrives at the university grounds at 12:04, ready with bento lunch and a bottle of Kame’s favorite wine.
Today, it’s been one year since Jin lost his memory.
“Jin?”
Right on cue and just as Jin is catching his breath, Kame comes down the stone steps, his bag and a couple of folders in hand. Jin looks messy in his loose t-shirt and baggy pants next to Kamenashi-sensei, but Kame doesn’t miss the interested glances his female students send Jin when he talks to him. After graduation, Kame chose to stay in the university and teach as he prepares for further studies. Jin decided to become a full-time artist.
“What are you doing here?” Kame asks in an undertone, coming nearer.
“I brought lunch~” Jin replies candidly, grinning as he shows Kame the paper bag containing the bento.
“But - this morning you said - ” Kame stutters, bewildered, because this morning Jin had said he had a long day of practice with his band and his dance crew. Kame didn’t argue, but he was a bit hurt. Okay, maybe more than a bit.
“I totally made that up, you didn’t even notice?” Jin laughs, waving Kame’s unfinished statement off. “Let’s sit somewhere? These are heavy. And I’m starving.”
Jin marches off in the direction of the old garden benches within the perimeters of the university grounds. He, of course, still knows his way around his old school, Kame thinks as he follows the taller man without another word. He’s a bit worried that students would see them and infer some not so wrong conclusions.
“Can you please lighten up a bit?” Jin says when he sends a look over his shoulder and sees the apprehensive look on Kame’s face. “I didn’t run all the way here just so you could scowl at me.”
At this, Kame grins as he comes up with a retort, “Run? You were running late, then?”
“Because Tomo kept eating the onigiri and we had to make more,” Jin explains as he plops down on a bench. “End your afternoon class on time, okay? I have another thing lined up for today.”
“Sure,” Kame okays, nodding and deliberately not mentioning that YamaPi, as expected, had told him that that ‘thing’ happening later is a surprise party where they’d be joined by their friends. Jin’s too busy with wiping the sweat off his face and fanning himself so that he misses the knowing smirk Kame sends him.
It’s been a year since Jin lost his memory, and since then, Kame had been rather paranoid that Jin might have sustained permanent damage from the ordeal. There had been instances, too, when Jin would randomly forget something, and on those occasions Kame would run to Kimura-sempai, who would tell them time and again that nothing was wrong with Jin’s brain.
“Thank you, Jin.”
The older man freezes, realizing it’s that moment now, and he stiffly turns to Kame with an awkward smile.
After clearing things up between them, Kame has always been protective of Jin, but more than that, he had made it a point to always, always be straightforward with the older man. He didn’t want to assume things were fine and then realize something was wrong. That had been his mistake in the past, and it spiraled out of control and things ended up nasty, confusing Jin to no end and alienating Kame, when the truth was that they were really just victims of their own stupid actions.
"Did we, uhh, you know..."
Kame raised an eyebrow at the unfinished question. Jin was acting rather weird.
"Have sex?"
Kame chuckled before he could stop himself. They couldn't have sex last night no matter how much they tried.
"You must be having a hangover if you can't remember what we did last night. Just skip school today," he said to Jin, picking up the clothes strewn all over the floor and sorting his from Jin's. "Let the hangover wear off."
Kame decided he needed time alone, and Jin needed to pull through from his hangover, before they talked. The issue can wait, and it's not like it was a one night stand. The feelings are there, they just need to sort them out. And they can't avoid each other, they lived in the same house, for god's sake.
"I, uhh, I had a lot to drink last night, huh?"
It seemed Jin was raelly having trouble remembering the previous night, but Kame thought it was rather cute. Done buttoning his shirt and pants up, he leaned over the older man and whispered,
"Rest up, alright? I'll see you later, Jin."
Had Kame known right then and there of Jin’s crisis, he wouldn’t have gone as far as pretending that everything was alright, consequently making a fool of himself and inadvertently misleading Jin gravely. Since then, they had learned that asking questions didn’t hurt and made them understand each other better. Kame makes it a point to always explain himself.
“Happy anniversary, Kame. I didn’t forget.”
Kame laughs and leans over to place a quick kiss on his boyfriend’s lips, too swift for anyone passing by to notice at all. Jin thinks Kame had secretly been both dreading and looking forward to this day, because while it marked the beginning of their life together, it also involved so many emotions, because it was one hell of a day. In any case, Jin pretended not to remember or care. All just to cook up this surprise.
Because really, this date one year ago - the day he woke up without his memories but with the love he had always yearned for - is a day Jin would never forget.
The End
oOo
I’m actually scared to ask for your comments now because LOL I feel the rants coming, but in any case, thank you so much to everyone who kept up with this fic, endured the delays, and put up with my discovery that I apparently have a thing for cliffhangers. S much? Right now, I have no new AK plot in mind just yet, but the Kame x fan (het) fic is still in the works (for some months now orz) and my lovely beta for this fic infynitehexes just told me of a new AK fic project we might just pick up on very soon.
‘Til then! All my love and thanks to you guys! :D
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