RP Log with panthers7 | Trouble in Paradise
The house was a pretty quiet place at the moment, the only other occupants being Jason and Taylor in their bedroom, and considering it was pretty much silent and dark in that part of the house, Matt had just assumed they were sleeping and he had been trying to stay quiet because of it. He even took the kettle through into the laundry at the back of the house to boil it so the noise wouldn't disturb them, and now he was back, sitting at the kitchen table with his hand wrapped around a large mug of coffee as he slowly glanced over the handful of brochures spread out in front of him. To one side he had information on the hospital and the nursing courses at UT, given to him by the woman who had offered him a job. She told him to take a few days to think about it, but before leaving the hospital to come home when it looked like Sam wasn't coming out of Tim's room any time soon, he stopped by her office and accepted the offer. At the end of the day, he needed the money, and it was going to be good money. Plus, it would be the first step to him becoming a qualified nurse, a career he had fleetingly considered in the past when it seemed like his art just wasn't going to earn him a living.
Next to those brochures were information sheets on epilepsy that he had been reading to try and get an understanding of it. He still couldn't believe everything had come in such a completely and total circle to lead to Riggins being diagnosed with a lifelong illness, apparently a complication of the meningitis. However, Matt had over heard Coach and Mrs T talking... there were even some suspcions Tim's heavy drinking over the years might have been the straw that broke the camel's back. Now Matt was sketching a small picture of a pretty double story house he had spotted on drive home from the hospital, lost in his own thoughts. It had just stuck in his mind, and one day, he hoped to be able to afford something like that himself.
Sam was exhausted. In fact she was more than exhausted. Seeing Tim hadn't exactly gone the way she planned, and she didn't even know what to start doing with the knowledge of his confession. She just knew that the moment she did leave his room she had to come home. She had to talk to Matt. She entered the house quietly and toed out of her shoes by the front door before she continued into the kitchen, the only source of light in the whole place. She saw Matt there, and tears pricked the backs of her eyes before she could even stop them.
Again, Jason's voice seemed to enter her mind and remind her about the cheating, but there was no cheating. She had no intention of ever cheating. Never would. She moved up beside him and bent forward to wrap her arms around his shoulders and kiss the side of his face before she just rest her head against his. She caught sight of the house he was sketching, and smiled a little. "That's really pretty."
Matt glanced at her and then looked back to the scratchy drawing he was working on. He had a tendency to just draw when he was distracted, never really thinking much on what was eventuating on the paper. A random house might subconsciously be telling him he was making the right decision to take a good paying job, start working for a career with a more solid foundation. He was excited about it, too, just a little bit deep in his gut when he thought about tackling something new. He planned to call and tell his grandma and mom the turn of events as soon as he could. Maybe in the morning when he'd slept on it. "Yeah. Nice houses in that area of the city..." he replied quietly, trying to tell himself there wasn't an air of... something in the room. Tension, maybe. Something that just wasn't sitting right. He had hardly seen Sam all day and after trying to nab a moment alone with her to tell her, she went in to talk to Tim and just seemed to stay in there for ages. Matt gave up, getting bored at playing toss the screwed up paper ball back and forth across the waiting room with Silas. He thought he could maybe come home and watch a movie with Jason and Taylor, but they were off the radar too.
"Kinda house ya can definitely raise a family in." Sam moved to sit in the seat near him, and reached out to take his hand as she sought physical contact with him. It felt different to holding Tim's hand. Everything with Matt felt different. The comparisons were a little inevitable when Tim had been the last guy Sam had been with. She linked their fingers and just sat there for a moment before she looked over the papers spread across the table again. "UT?" she asked as she picked up one of brochures. "Ya goin' to college?"
Matt shrugged. "Yeah, I think so. Hope so. I was tryin' to tell ya' over the day, but ya'... dunno, seem distracted," he told her, glancing over the brochures again. It was a good college, and he wouldn't start the course until after the summer, but he needed to get his enrolment in now if he was going to go with it. The job, however, was due to start on Monday and it had even gone so far as to be given scrubs for his first shift. It all felt so surreal. "I, uh... got a job, too."
Sam's eyes snapped back to Matt's face and she broke out into a huge smile. "Seriously? Oh, M, that's great!" She leaned across to hug him again, and kissed the corner of his mouth. "I'm so proud of ya! What's the job? I'm proud on both points. Ya deserve the best, and ya deserve to get a good education. I'm sorry about today. Ya shoulda just sat me down. Even J told me off for bein'... distracted. I just couldn't help it. Sorry about disappearin' into T's room. There's... um, I gotta tell ya somethin', but I wanna hear about the job and everythin' first."
Matt was watching her hesitantly now, really not sure what she needed to tell him when they had mostly been okay lately. They were getting on the right page and things were settling down, especially now the dust settled after Taylor's baby news. But it was all thrown up in the air again when Tim got sick, and Matt just hadn't been able to shake this uncertainty in his gut that Sam was going to see something she was missing in Tim when he was sick. Last time he had been in hospital, they had been together, and Matt wasn't even part of the picture then. "Well, I helped outta nurse manager in the hospital the other day when she dropped all her stuff on the stairs. I kinda just got curious, asked her if she knew of any jobs that I could do in the hospital because it seemed like a nice place to work. She asked me if I was a nurse, and I told her I ain't, but that I'd maybe thought 'bout it all in the past over the time. That's when she told me 'bout this program they have. They employ nursin' assistants, and then they can apply for a scholarship to do a nursin' degree at college. After that, they employ ya' as a proper nurse. So... that's all that sorta happened, and I'm startin' the job on Monday."
Sam gave his hand a squeeze as she continued to smile. "Oh, darlin', that's great! I'm proud of ya. Ya gonna be a nurse, that's so cool. I ain't even gonna make any male nurse jokes 'cause I know it's somethin' ya perfect for, and ya still get t'wear scrubs which is... hot. I can't believe it! I leave ya alone for a day and this is what happens. Ya go out and get a job, and get organised for college. Oh my god, I'm just... This is great. We gotta celebrate."
"Actually, ya' kinda been distant for a few days now," Matt had to point out to her quietly. "But it's okay, I get it. We should maybe take a raincheck on celebratin'. It's just a job, and things everywhere else ain't so good. Maybe when we can all go out some time?"
She shifted in her seat and dropped her gaze to their hands as her shoulders slumped. "I'm really sorry, M. I didn't meant to be. I just... I think hearin' about T kinda made my head crazy. I don't even know why. Just he always seems to wind up in hospital, ya know? I know some of it's his own doin'. He drinks like a goddamn fish, and it ain't healthy. Just every time he lands in there, it ain't a good sign. Things always wind up goin' to crap. But this time... this time I think we finally got some things straight." Sam lifted her gaze again as she met his. "Sure, that's a good idea."
"It ain't a good sign when anyone is in hospital," Matt replied and even though his stomach suddenly felt really unsettled, he continued. "I thought ya' already had everythin' sorted out," he added, knowing there was more to this than she was saying. He just had a feeling. It had been plaguing him for days. Her body langauge said a lot too. "Are ya' goin' back to him?"
Sam frowned. "What? No! Things have just been awkward. It ain't easy bein' his friend. Not as easy as I thought. I don't even know why I was stayin' away, but I was. I think I was just worried we weren't ever gonna be friends after everythin'. He said he still loved me." She let out a breath, and looked at Matt. "But I don't love him. Not like that. I love him 'cause he's T, and he's been a part of my life for so long. He ain't the one I'm in love with. I'm in love with ya, Matt. Nothin' is gonna change that, and I don't want anythin' to change that."
Matt sat back and let out a sharp breath, feeling like someone had just thumped him in the stomach. "He what?"
Sam wet her lips. "He said he still loved me... That he needed me."
Matt pushed back and stood up, not actually sure if he was going to walk out or not. Flight or fight, he tended to always lean towards the flight and worry about it later. It was reactionary. Guilt at wanting to smack Riggin's face in when he was on his hospital bed surged through him, but didn't really dilute the urge much. He clenched his fists at his sides, trying desperately not to just explode angrily. Jason and Taylor were sleeping just a few doors down the hall, he knew he couldn't yell. That was something. "Ya' were in there a hell of a long time for that one statement," he finally got out, the words choked up. He rounded the table so he wasn't standing near her and started quickly and messily gathering up all his leaflets.
Sam watched him in confusion, staying where she was in case her moving was going to set him off. "He's my friend," she just said again. "And he caught me by surprise. I wasn't exactly plannin' on havin' him say that to me. I had to make sure he understood that I loved him just as a friend. That you're who I'm with, that you're who I love. He said you're the one I should be with anyway. He even admitted he had nothin' else to say. Just that it needed to be said. He's workin' through his regrets. Matt, Matt, stop... please. Nothin' happened. Nothin' is gonna happen. Will ya just listen? It's you I'm in love with. Only you."
Matt stopped and held the leaflets out at arms length helplessly while he tried to gather his thoughts. He was trying not to feel hurt by any of this, but truth was, he had been waiting for it. "Ya' just... ya' been waitin' for somethin' like this. Ya' wouldn't even be with me if he had said somethin' like this three months ago, and we both know it. It's always been him, and ya' ain't gonna just be able to ignore it!" He shook his head and turned away. "I'm... I'm gonna go to Dillon, see my grandma and mom. I dunno when I'll be back, I'll let ya' know. I just... I-I can't even think 'bout this right now or I'm gonna yell, and I ain't gonna disturb Taylor and Street."
Sam wanted to press her point about not waiting for Tim. She stopped waiting for Tim the moment Matt was the first and last thing she thought about everyday. Maybe she wouldn't have been with him three months ago, but things had changed. She'd changed. Her eyes filled with tears and all she could do was nod because she didn't want to wake up Mac and Jason either. "Drive safe..."
There was just a moment of hesitation before Matt fished the epilepsy leaflets from his pile and dropped them back onto the kitchen table. He glanced at her just briefly before walking out of the room without looking back. The worst part of this all, it fucking hurt like a bitch to have Riggins kick him in the guts like this. Was he going to forever be running up behind everyone else, no matter what he did?
Next to those brochures were information sheets on epilepsy that he had been reading to try and get an understanding of it. He still couldn't believe everything had come in such a completely and total circle to lead to Riggins being diagnosed with a lifelong illness, apparently a complication of the meningitis. However, Matt had over heard Coach and Mrs T talking... there were even some suspcions Tim's heavy drinking over the years might have been the straw that broke the camel's back. Now Matt was sketching a small picture of a pretty double story house he had spotted on drive home from the hospital, lost in his own thoughts. It had just stuck in his mind, and one day, he hoped to be able to afford something like that himself.
Sam was exhausted. In fact she was more than exhausted. Seeing Tim hadn't exactly gone the way she planned, and she didn't even know what to start doing with the knowledge of his confession. She just knew that the moment she did leave his room she had to come home. She had to talk to Matt. She entered the house quietly and toed out of her shoes by the front door before she continued into the kitchen, the only source of light in the whole place. She saw Matt there, and tears pricked the backs of her eyes before she could even stop them.
Again, Jason's voice seemed to enter her mind and remind her about the cheating, but there was no cheating. She had no intention of ever cheating. Never would. She moved up beside him and bent forward to wrap her arms around his shoulders and kiss the side of his face before she just rest her head against his. She caught sight of the house he was sketching, and smiled a little. "That's really pretty."
Matt glanced at her and then looked back to the scratchy drawing he was working on. He had a tendency to just draw when he was distracted, never really thinking much on what was eventuating on the paper. A random house might subconsciously be telling him he was making the right decision to take a good paying job, start working for a career with a more solid foundation. He was excited about it, too, just a little bit deep in his gut when he thought about tackling something new. He planned to call and tell his grandma and mom the turn of events as soon as he could. Maybe in the morning when he'd slept on it. "Yeah. Nice houses in that area of the city..." he replied quietly, trying to tell himself there wasn't an air of... something in the room. Tension, maybe. Something that just wasn't sitting right. He had hardly seen Sam all day and after trying to nab a moment alone with her to tell her, she went in to talk to Tim and just seemed to stay in there for ages. Matt gave up, getting bored at playing toss the screwed up paper ball back and forth across the waiting room with Silas. He thought he could maybe come home and watch a movie with Jason and Taylor, but they were off the radar too.
"Kinda house ya can definitely raise a family in." Sam moved to sit in the seat near him, and reached out to take his hand as she sought physical contact with him. It felt different to holding Tim's hand. Everything with Matt felt different. The comparisons were a little inevitable when Tim had been the last guy Sam had been with. She linked their fingers and just sat there for a moment before she looked over the papers spread across the table again. "UT?" she asked as she picked up one of brochures. "Ya goin' to college?"
Matt shrugged. "Yeah, I think so. Hope so. I was tryin' to tell ya' over the day, but ya'... dunno, seem distracted," he told her, glancing over the brochures again. It was a good college, and he wouldn't start the course until after the summer, but he needed to get his enrolment in now if he was going to go with it. The job, however, was due to start on Monday and it had even gone so far as to be given scrubs for his first shift. It all felt so surreal. "I, uh... got a job, too."
Sam's eyes snapped back to Matt's face and she broke out into a huge smile. "Seriously? Oh, M, that's great!" She leaned across to hug him again, and kissed the corner of his mouth. "I'm so proud of ya! What's the job? I'm proud on both points. Ya deserve the best, and ya deserve to get a good education. I'm sorry about today. Ya shoulda just sat me down. Even J told me off for bein'... distracted. I just couldn't help it. Sorry about disappearin' into T's room. There's... um, I gotta tell ya somethin', but I wanna hear about the job and everythin' first."
Matt was watching her hesitantly now, really not sure what she needed to tell him when they had mostly been okay lately. They were getting on the right page and things were settling down, especially now the dust settled after Taylor's baby news. But it was all thrown up in the air again when Tim got sick, and Matt just hadn't been able to shake this uncertainty in his gut that Sam was going to see something she was missing in Tim when he was sick. Last time he had been in hospital, they had been together, and Matt wasn't even part of the picture then. "Well, I helped outta nurse manager in the hospital the other day when she dropped all her stuff on the stairs. I kinda just got curious, asked her if she knew of any jobs that I could do in the hospital because it seemed like a nice place to work. She asked me if I was a nurse, and I told her I ain't, but that I'd maybe thought 'bout it all in the past over the time. That's when she told me 'bout this program they have. They employ nursin' assistants, and then they can apply for a scholarship to do a nursin' degree at college. After that, they employ ya' as a proper nurse. So... that's all that sorta happened, and I'm startin' the job on Monday."
Sam gave his hand a squeeze as she continued to smile. "Oh, darlin', that's great! I'm proud of ya. Ya gonna be a nurse, that's so cool. I ain't even gonna make any male nurse jokes 'cause I know it's somethin' ya perfect for, and ya still get t'wear scrubs which is... hot. I can't believe it! I leave ya alone for a day and this is what happens. Ya go out and get a job, and get organised for college. Oh my god, I'm just... This is great. We gotta celebrate."
"Actually, ya' kinda been distant for a few days now," Matt had to point out to her quietly. "But it's okay, I get it. We should maybe take a raincheck on celebratin'. It's just a job, and things everywhere else ain't so good. Maybe when we can all go out some time?"
She shifted in her seat and dropped her gaze to their hands as her shoulders slumped. "I'm really sorry, M. I didn't meant to be. I just... I think hearin' about T kinda made my head crazy. I don't even know why. Just he always seems to wind up in hospital, ya know? I know some of it's his own doin'. He drinks like a goddamn fish, and it ain't healthy. Just every time he lands in there, it ain't a good sign. Things always wind up goin' to crap. But this time... this time I think we finally got some things straight." Sam lifted her gaze again as she met his. "Sure, that's a good idea."
"It ain't a good sign when anyone is in hospital," Matt replied and even though his stomach suddenly felt really unsettled, he continued. "I thought ya' already had everythin' sorted out," he added, knowing there was more to this than she was saying. He just had a feeling. It had been plaguing him for days. Her body langauge said a lot too. "Are ya' goin' back to him?"
Sam frowned. "What? No! Things have just been awkward. It ain't easy bein' his friend. Not as easy as I thought. I don't even know why I was stayin' away, but I was. I think I was just worried we weren't ever gonna be friends after everythin'. He said he still loved me." She let out a breath, and looked at Matt. "But I don't love him. Not like that. I love him 'cause he's T, and he's been a part of my life for so long. He ain't the one I'm in love with. I'm in love with ya, Matt. Nothin' is gonna change that, and I don't want anythin' to change that."
Matt sat back and let out a sharp breath, feeling like someone had just thumped him in the stomach. "He what?"
Sam wet her lips. "He said he still loved me... That he needed me."
Matt pushed back and stood up, not actually sure if he was going to walk out or not. Flight or fight, he tended to always lean towards the flight and worry about it later. It was reactionary. Guilt at wanting to smack Riggin's face in when he was on his hospital bed surged through him, but didn't really dilute the urge much. He clenched his fists at his sides, trying desperately not to just explode angrily. Jason and Taylor were sleeping just a few doors down the hall, he knew he couldn't yell. That was something. "Ya' were in there a hell of a long time for that one statement," he finally got out, the words choked up. He rounded the table so he wasn't standing near her and started quickly and messily gathering up all his leaflets.
Sam watched him in confusion, staying where she was in case her moving was going to set him off. "He's my friend," she just said again. "And he caught me by surprise. I wasn't exactly plannin' on havin' him say that to me. I had to make sure he understood that I loved him just as a friend. That you're who I'm with, that you're who I love. He said you're the one I should be with anyway. He even admitted he had nothin' else to say. Just that it needed to be said. He's workin' through his regrets. Matt, Matt, stop... please. Nothin' happened. Nothin' is gonna happen. Will ya just listen? It's you I'm in love with. Only you."
Matt stopped and held the leaflets out at arms length helplessly while he tried to gather his thoughts. He was trying not to feel hurt by any of this, but truth was, he had been waiting for it. "Ya' just... ya' been waitin' for somethin' like this. Ya' wouldn't even be with me if he had said somethin' like this three months ago, and we both know it. It's always been him, and ya' ain't gonna just be able to ignore it!" He shook his head and turned away. "I'm... I'm gonna go to Dillon, see my grandma and mom. I dunno when I'll be back, I'll let ya' know. I just... I-I can't even think 'bout this right now or I'm gonna yell, and I ain't gonna disturb Taylor and Street."
Sam wanted to press her point about not waiting for Tim. She stopped waiting for Tim the moment Matt was the first and last thing she thought about everyday. Maybe she wouldn't have been with him three months ago, but things had changed. She'd changed. Her eyes filled with tears and all she could do was nod because she didn't want to wake up Mac and Jason either. "Drive safe..."
There was just a moment of hesitation before Matt fished the epilepsy leaflets from his pile and dropped them back onto the kitchen table. He glanced at her just briefly before walking out of the room without looking back. The worst part of this all, it fucking hurt like a bitch to have Riggins kick him in the guts like this. Was he going to forever be running up behind everyone else, no matter what he did?