Comments | superquail: "Safety"

superquail

"Safety"

Oct 16, 2011 20:16

One of my coworkers sent me the following chain email:

Important Safety Information

( Complete text, bad grammar and weird emphasis and all )

Comments 23

fellmama October 17 2011, 04:43:05 UTC

Some of it is good advice in the most general sense; stay alert, lock your car, if you feel unsafe, leave the situation yadda yadda yadda. But it has the same problem as all those "rape prevention tips" lists that make the rounds on college listservs--it puts the entire onus on women to avoid being preyed upon.

I mean, it's fucking ridiculous. When you saw that van, you didn't get into your car from the PASSENGER SIDE?! You DESERVED this, you slut.

When I was assaulted, I was on the middle of the sidewalk at 3:00 on, like, a Friday afternoon. But I guess it's my fault because the first time the guy approached me I told him I didn't know where the McDonalds was. (Yes! He approached me once and DIDN'T assault me! Crazy!)

superquail October 17 2011, 05:33:53 UTC

One of my fundamental objections to this is that the whole message is vaguely aimed at women, but none of the situations described are specifically female in nature. It MAY be true that women get in their cars and then start spending time doing something else like checking their cell phones before driving, but my guess is that plenty of men do that, too. Also, women are not the only victims of "predators." Muggers, it is my understanding, are interested in getting money, so a well-dressed man rocking a Rolex is probably going to be a much better target than a frumpy woman with a Timex ( ... )

fellmama October 17 2011, 20:28:32 UTC

It's damned if you do, damned if you don't. If you don't resist or you obey in order to survive, you have only yourself to blame. If you DO resist (use your elbow!) and get hurt or killed, well, that's your fault too. You should have known better than to do that.

There's an interesting book called The Gift of Fear by Gavin de Becker (I think we've talked about it before?) I read it expecting a lot of victim-blaming and instead found it refreshingly direct. de Becker's take is that fear, properly understood and managed, is an excellent cue that something's wrong ( ... )

superquail October 18 2011, 02:36:39 UTC

That sounds very interesting. I will see if I can get it at my local library.

Fear plays a major role in my life, and it would be good to understand it better.

perdita_dream October 17 2011, 20:22:17 UTC

I think it is ridiculous fearmongering. Probably by one of those man-hating "feminist" groups. (Not fellmama's kind of feminism, the kind where women actually think all men are rapists.) Because the person writing this sounds like they really do think all women are about to be raped or murdered as soon as any guy gets one alone.

Most of it makes no sense. Elbows are not that strong wtf. And easily debunked nonsense like the baby crying thing just makes the author look ignorant and casts doubt on all other "facts" in this email.

You should tell the person who sent it to you that it is nonsense, with links to appropriate sites. That is how I got my extended relatives to stop forwarding crap to me. Especially when I hit "reply all."

fellmama October 17 2011, 20:33:16 UTC

Or by the rapists themselves. Rapists and serial killers and all those nasties love the SHIT out of a culture of fear and blame, and they'd much rather you were obsessed with your own behavior than calling out theirs.

Not to mention another thing I've just thought about, which is that this list presupposes that cops (and security guards) are on your side. Just ask that poor woman in NY who got a police escort home because she was drunk what she thinks about that one.

superquail October 18 2011, 02:38:53 UTC

What is this NY story? I have not yet heard it, and I am deeply disturbed.

The other day a friend posted something on Facebook about a horrible police brutality incident up in Spokane, and it was the first I'd heard about it. I know who the current prime minister of Thailand is (her name is Yingluck Shinawatra and she's their first female prime minister) but when it comes to news of a local variety, I am pretty much in the dark.

fellmama October 18 2011, 03:36:24 UTC

http://www.reuters.com/article/2011/05/26/us-newyork-rape-police-idUSTRE74P4Z120110526

Thread 17

love_pirate October 19 2011, 05:09:47 UTC

Interesting discussion going on! Hmm, yeah, I think I've seen this list before. A couple of months ago, I was looking at the state department website...they talk about safety issues in all the countries you might travel to. They describe in great detail all the "popular" crimes in each place...there's some extremely weird and freaky stuff. I just looked at it again, and NONE of the crime is described as gender-specific.

I would say I'm a fairly paranoid person, but I'm still not scared of serial killers. How common are they, really? I would guess, not very. And I've never felt unsafe sitting in my car. Well, there's no reason a thief would want my car, but still.

And agreed, SQ is good at explaining things!

superquail October 19 2011, 20:11:59 UTC

Thank you, homie ( ... )