SasuNaru Spoilers for Bonds the Movie:
Since I see no discussion of the movie since it came out, I thougt I'd squee a record of my thoughts here.
Here thar be manga and movie spoilers...
I forgot how much I missed Sasuke till I saw him in the first scene. There is a lot of Sasuke hate out there that I just don't get. He and Lex could trade bragging rights in the mental mind fucking area by their loved ones. And I love Itachi, but he bent Sasuke backwards, upside down, and used him like a pawn. Even his recent decision in the manga to destroy Konoha (too late sucka, Pein beat you to it) was based on manipulation of his feelings.
Back to the movie.
Sooo enjoying that head dunk...and lightning flash.
And shit, we cut away to those annoying ships and the attack on Konoha. Damnit, I wanted to stare at Sauske-er, find out he's planning at OrochiJackson's house/layer.
The attack is kinda lame, in the sense that no one fights back. Boring, I wanted some more
resistance than a few arrows. Why Didn't Choji and his Dad grow into Giants like Godzilla/King Kong and start swatting them out of the sky? Ten Ten can also direct her weapons, where was she? So, not so impressed with this scene.
Then Naruto helps the DJOM, damaged jerk of the movie, who doesn't like him and only listens to his words till the end of the movie. Yawn. Let's skip to the good stuff.
So back at Orochi's Neverland Ranch, he tasks Sasuke with getting an Immortal Guy who taught him his Lazurus spell to keep coming back (body jumping jutsu?). Which is actually kinda cool, cause I love backstories and the Snake Sannin is on my top list of characters I gotta know more about-btw did Kiss teach him the tongue jutsu thing?
Sasuke is usually emotionless now on the outside. It is quite creepy, if hot. But he does show annoyance. He had more fish to fry by that waterfall.
Cut away, damn it...ohh...Shikamaru. I'll forgive it this time. Intelligent characters being valued are so rare these days. He finds the bad guys in record time. Though of course they're stupid/arrogant enough to be out in the open. Say what you want about Orochi, but he gets an A plus in the not stupid fatal mistakes area. And he would have owned Sasuke's ass (only metaphysical thank god)if it weren't for Itachi.
Then comes Sai. Who is just fine by me, and he does the whole decoy thing which is cool and fun. I wish we could have had Sai and Deidara in one scene together, arguing about art. Sai would be traditionalist and Dei Post-Modern, and they'd drive each other nuts if Sai had any feelings. But he'd try to make peace and Dei would get confused and think he's hitting on him and I don't think Sai is gay (but his outfit is). Though I could get behind ItaSai. Because SasuNaru own each other's souls and Kisame doesn't do anything for me.
Meanwhile, Naruto has to contend with Dr. Giggles, DJOM, and Sakura. Poor guy, what the hell did he do in his past life to deserve this? Actually, Sakura isn't too awful here, but I frakin hate the running gag of her beating the shit out of Naruto. I wince every time it happens. And he gets poisoned on top of it. I'm trying to like you Sakura, really I am. Just stop being a bitch to Naruto and we'll get along fine. Hinata is only there to blush and then get captured. Damnit. Actually the only female who does anything in the whole movie is DJOM. Amaru. Wow, I finally remembered.
But more importantly, Sasuke gets shirtless a couple of times. Which helps balance out the boring scenes, like the above mentioned. Kishi is a marketing genius. I really ought to say that at the end of every paragraph.
So what happens next? Do I care?
Sai, he’s still at it.
So I so didn’t pick up on this, but we did get a hint from Orochi that Dr. Giggles was a bad guy. He taught Orochi of all people the eternal life/body jump jutsu. Not a good plan if you value things like peace and harmony. We find out later he’s bugnuts so it does make sense. Though why Orochi didn’t keep him in one of his cages ‘o plenty is anyone’s guess. Maybe he thought 3 years a pop was a sweet deal. So DJOM’s village is ablazing, and she runs off like an idiot into who knows what mainly for plot’s sake. But everyone’s dead so we’ll give her a little sympathy here.
Dr. Giggles ends up saving her life and it’s a tear jerking scene at the time.
Big Naru vs. weird penis creature fight here, and Kyubi gets to kick some arse. Which is a fun scene cause Naruto gets pounded a lot in this movie later on. And not by Sasuke, sadly.
So we get back to Sai vs. bad guys and he finally gets out of there.
The bad guys are laughing but not for long.
They have a serious bug problem. The kind that would make the Rid-a-Pest man beg for mercy. Long story short, the bugs eat the B plot into extinction.
Is it Sasuke time yet? Augh. Nooooo.
So we find out Dr. Giggles is the bad guy, which I admit I didn’t see coming. Nice manipulation there, buddy. He does his magicjutsu talky thing, which mkes the conveniently placed ancient ruins rise like Laputa in the Sky part 2. Naruto and DJOM run inside, reducing Sakura to offscreenville to the rest of the movie. Which makes my SasuNaru heart jump for joy. She may get Naruto canonwise, but we own him subtextually. And textually his bond with Sasuke is greater than hers, and always will be. :)
So Naruto and DJOM are running to the center of the DeathStar to stop the bad guy of the day, and are finally get to the chamber of Mayan doom. Dr. Giggles is revealed as the manipulator behind all of this mayhem, and he DBZ’s up on the heroes. No cool aura though. Just some really gross steroidsJutsu. He gives Amaru one more twist of the knife in that he had only saved her life and raised her so he could use her. Which is really shitty for an orphan girl in a verse where they already aren’t as valued for plot purposes and get relegated to the background.
Amaru is reasonably upset. She even had a creepy crush on him. (Ahh! Not another Jackson pairing! My eyes!) But this is a giant battery for Dr. Giggles because he feeds off of dark energy. I call him this btw because of how he laughs so inanely for the rest of the movie. In fact, he only gets dumber from here on out. But I will forgive it because of what comes later.
So Naruto fights on DJOM’s behalf because he’s the champion of lost causes. Dr. Giggles throws him around for a while. Naruto doesn’t give up. DJOM cries. Dr. Giggles throws him around. Recycle, rinse, repeat. Amaru finally speaks her feelings and vents in a therapeutic spewing of emotions. Really, Blondie ought to charge 200 bucks an hour. He knows how to get results.
Naruto gets some pwnage in. Dr. Giggles can’t rely on Amaru’s hate cause her feelings/hope are at an everlasting fountain, or something. But they are interrupted because…
ENTER THE SASUKE. YES! YES! YESSSSSSSSSS!
I want to mention right here that Sasuke has been watching for a while. In fact, we don’t know how long Sasuke has been watching Naruto. I’m fairly convinced that he’s been watching our golden boy ever since he left Konoha with Dr. Giggles and Co. Perhaps waiting till they separate so he can capture his target, but he certainly wasn’t staring at Sakura. He had his chance last time and she barely registered. Naruto would be the only one that offered a real challenge. *wink wink*
So most likely Sasuke spent at least half the movie staring at his rival.
I approve and forgive his not being around/visable.
Sasuke enters at a good time *cough* not only because of my favoritism, but because I doubt Naru can kill Giggles without going all out Kyubi on him.
Officer Sharingan asks that the bad doctor come with him quietly and no one gets asskicked.
Giggles tries to go DBZ on him but his wacko muscle body fails on him, for not eating enough spinach and, oh yeah, Sasuke giving him a lightning acupuncture treatment secretly.
I want to mention Naruto warns Sasuke about Dr. Evil’s powers. Never mind that Sasuke tried to kill him when last they met. It’s like time never passed. Le sigh. Naruto’s feelings never waver.
Dr. Giggles tosses Sasuke the immortalHighlanderjutsu scroll and hightails it outta there to some secret room.
Sasuke ignores Naruto and goes after him in cold pursuit. Naruto goes after Sasuke in hot pursuit. I’m not worried since Sasuke has to know that golden boy will follow him to the ends of the earth over hot coals every step of the way. And here comes a sparkly new SasuNaru moment brought to you by that marketing genius Kishimoto!
Both young men stop at the edge of a gulf after running a ways to Giggle’s very secret hideout that is found in about 30 seconds in the bowels of a ship as big as Konaha. Sasuke stops first to wait for Naruto, er, watch the bad guy below’s actions. Naruto comes up behind him and PLACES HIS HAND GENTLY UPON SASUKE’S SHOULDER to see below. A great mirror to their last meeting. And...Sasuke...JUST...LETS...HIM...DO...IT... No threatening to break or chop off fingers. Love! Love! Love!
But duty calls as Naruto sees the evil doer doing evil deeds and jumps down to tear him a new one. Sasuke all but rolls his eyes at his cover boy’s antics, or maybe because they got interrupted. (Squee)
Giggles attaches himself to the alien nest before they can stop him because it is an unwritten rule that the bad guy must be at his most powerful before you may defeat him. Never before. Otherwise there’d be no climax. *cough* Speaking of those, Naruto and Sasuke are captured by the monster’s tentacles and my mind goes to the gutter for several very happy seconds. Naruto is only worried for Sasuke’s honor and shouts at Resident Evil to let his bishonen go!
Sasuke only reacts by pissing off Dr. Giggles meets Aliens sac. His plan (Naruto is mostly just brawn this movie) is to overpower the monster by giving him too much energy. Naruto has no problem getting pumped up and stares at Sasuke as his power increases a zillion fold with Kyubi’s.
DJOM rescues her villagers and Hinata but who cares? Sorry Hinata.
Back to Male love mania, Naruto and Sasuke have to work in sync to take out Giggles Monster once and for all. Naruto shoots power at him but he has a solid wall of power forcefield. It’s up to Sasuke and Kusanagi to cut through. They do, proving that Sasuke can always get into seemingly impenetrable places where Naruto is concerned.
Monster guy gets his. But now they released Reibi? Rabbi? Rerun? An evil force thing a-ma-jig.
So our heroes go to shove off the innocents by the boat.
Sasuke personally tosses in DJOM and sends them off.
And says his trademark annoying quote. Good times, people.
So what does Naruto do? After staring at him and giving Sasuke another compliment, he breaks off the landing where his obsession is standing.
NOOOOOOOOOO!
Parting is such sweet sorrow.
So Sasuke flies off in his transgenderformer body as Naruto shouts something to him.
I strain my ears and check the volume three times to see that it’s deliberate.
Sasuke doesn’t come back because he trusts Naruto to take care of business.
Naruto goes and sits a moment in perfect bliss, thinking about what he said to Sasuke. He smiles such a cute smile too. I love it when Naruto smiles.
Naruto goes and does his multiple body justu and tears down LaputaDeathStar5, monster and all. But he’s so out of energy. He ends up falling in the sky much like the Blue Bird opening. Sweet.
What’s not so sweet is DJOM’s actions. She steals one of those metal chakra hang gliders and flies it to Naruto only to grab him and let go of her only means of saving him. She holds onto him and tells him he’ll never be alone/she’ll take care of him. Which is crap cause we’ll never see her again after this movie.
The only thing that saves this scene is Sasuke looking up at Naruto, seeing where he’ll land, and smiling before he walks off. Knowing that Jiraya saves them before he leaves. Only pulling on his shirt at the last moment. Kishi means genius in Japanese.
So Kakashi only got to watch the sunset. Good for him. He needs a break. And Iruka.
End credits and average music but I don’t care.
I’m waiting just in case,
And I’m not disappointed.
Sasuke comes back to Orochimaru's hidden playhouse. He gives them the scroll but Kabuto questions his lack of a doctor. Sasuke doesn’t give a shit. Orochi’s not fooled. He asks him whether something good happened. Damn, he must know Sasuke was stalking, er, was in Naruto’s vicinity. Since that's the only time he’s ever not emo. But Sasuke just walks off cause he’s got a s-e-c-r-e-t.
Again he is by the waterfall of fried fish.
Sasuke at first appears collected, but then we get a flashback of Casablanca romantic proportions.
Sasuske is falling and we finally hear what Naruto shouts, emotional music at a crescendo,
“I’ll bring you back home again!”
No way is he not affected by that. Inwardly Sasuke has to be freaking shaking with joy at the pure love in Naruto’s voice.
We get no response, but he does get a giant phallic thunderbolt out cutting though the waterfall, which certainly seems symbolic of his real wishes, and we cut to the true end of the movie.
So upon seeing this, I will wait as long as it is necessary for them to meet again.
And for Naruto to take Sasuke where he belongs.
Home.
Here thar be manga and movie spoilers...
I forgot how much I missed Sasuke till I saw him in the first scene. There is a lot of Sasuke hate out there that I just don't get. He and Lex could trade bragging rights in the mental mind fucking area by their loved ones. And I love Itachi, but he bent Sasuke backwards, upside down, and used him like a pawn. Even his recent decision in the manga to destroy Konoha (too late sucka, Pein beat you to it) was based on manipulation of his feelings.
Back to the movie.
Sooo enjoying that head dunk...and lightning flash.
And shit, we cut away to those annoying ships and the attack on Konoha. Damnit, I wanted to stare at Sauske-er, find out he's planning at OrochiJackson's house/layer.
The attack is kinda lame, in the sense that no one fights back. Boring, I wanted some more
resistance than a few arrows. Why Didn't Choji and his Dad grow into Giants like Godzilla/King Kong and start swatting them out of the sky? Ten Ten can also direct her weapons, where was she? So, not so impressed with this scene.
Then Naruto helps the DJOM, damaged jerk of the movie, who doesn't like him and only listens to his words till the end of the movie. Yawn. Let's skip to the good stuff.
So back at Orochi's Neverland Ranch, he tasks Sasuke with getting an Immortal Guy who taught him his Lazurus spell to keep coming back (body jumping jutsu?). Which is actually kinda cool, cause I love backstories and the Snake Sannin is on my top list of characters I gotta know more about-btw did Kiss teach him the tongue jutsu thing?
Sasuke is usually emotionless now on the outside. It is quite creepy, if hot. But he does show annoyance. He had more fish to fry by that waterfall.
Cut away, damn it...ohh...Shikamaru. I'll forgive it this time. Intelligent characters being valued are so rare these days. He finds the bad guys in record time. Though of course they're stupid/arrogant enough to be out in the open. Say what you want about Orochi, but he gets an A plus in the not stupid fatal mistakes area. And he would have owned Sasuke's ass (only metaphysical thank god)if it weren't for Itachi.
Then comes Sai. Who is just fine by me, and he does the whole decoy thing which is cool and fun. I wish we could have had Sai and Deidara in one scene together, arguing about art. Sai would be traditionalist and Dei Post-Modern, and they'd drive each other nuts if Sai had any feelings. But he'd try to make peace and Dei would get confused and think he's hitting on him and I don't think Sai is gay (but his outfit is). Though I could get behind ItaSai. Because SasuNaru own each other's souls and Kisame doesn't do anything for me.
Meanwhile, Naruto has to contend with Dr. Giggles, DJOM, and Sakura. Poor guy, what the hell did he do in his past life to deserve this? Actually, Sakura isn't too awful here, but I frakin hate the running gag of her beating the shit out of Naruto. I wince every time it happens. And he gets poisoned on top of it. I'm trying to like you Sakura, really I am. Just stop being a bitch to Naruto and we'll get along fine. Hinata is only there to blush and then get captured. Damnit. Actually the only female who does anything in the whole movie is DJOM. Amaru. Wow, I finally remembered.
But more importantly, Sasuke gets shirtless a couple of times. Which helps balance out the boring scenes, like the above mentioned. Kishi is a marketing genius. I really ought to say that at the end of every paragraph.
So what happens next? Do I care?
Sai, he’s still at it.
So I so didn’t pick up on this, but we did get a hint from Orochi that Dr. Giggles was a bad guy. He taught Orochi of all people the eternal life/body jump jutsu. Not a good plan if you value things like peace and harmony. We find out later he’s bugnuts so it does make sense. Though why Orochi didn’t keep him in one of his cages ‘o plenty is anyone’s guess. Maybe he thought 3 years a pop was a sweet deal. So DJOM’s village is ablazing, and she runs off like an idiot into who knows what mainly for plot’s sake. But everyone’s dead so we’ll give her a little sympathy here.
Dr. Giggles ends up saving her life and it’s a tear jerking scene at the time.
Big Naru vs. weird penis creature fight here, and Kyubi gets to kick some arse. Which is a fun scene cause Naruto gets pounded a lot in this movie later on. And not by Sasuke, sadly.
So we get back to Sai vs. bad guys and he finally gets out of there.
The bad guys are laughing but not for long.
They have a serious bug problem. The kind that would make the Rid-a-Pest man beg for mercy. Long story short, the bugs eat the B plot into extinction.
Is it Sasuke time yet? Augh. Nooooo.
So we find out Dr. Giggles is the bad guy, which I admit I didn’t see coming. Nice manipulation there, buddy. He does his magicjutsu talky thing, which mkes the conveniently placed ancient ruins rise like Laputa in the Sky part 2. Naruto and DJOM run inside, reducing Sakura to offscreenville to the rest of the movie. Which makes my SasuNaru heart jump for joy. She may get Naruto canonwise, but we own him subtextually. And textually his bond with Sasuke is greater than hers, and always will be. :)
So Naruto and DJOM are running to the center of the DeathStar to stop the bad guy of the day, and are finally get to the chamber of Mayan doom. Dr. Giggles is revealed as the manipulator behind all of this mayhem, and he DBZ’s up on the heroes. No cool aura though. Just some really gross steroidsJutsu. He gives Amaru one more twist of the knife in that he had only saved her life and raised her so he could use her. Which is really shitty for an orphan girl in a verse where they already aren’t as valued for plot purposes and get relegated to the background.
Amaru is reasonably upset. She even had a creepy crush on him. (Ahh! Not another Jackson pairing! My eyes!) But this is a giant battery for Dr. Giggles because he feeds off of dark energy. I call him this btw because of how he laughs so inanely for the rest of the movie. In fact, he only gets dumber from here on out. But I will forgive it because of what comes later.
So Naruto fights on DJOM’s behalf because he’s the champion of lost causes. Dr. Giggles throws him around for a while. Naruto doesn’t give up. DJOM cries. Dr. Giggles throws him around. Recycle, rinse, repeat. Amaru finally speaks her feelings and vents in a therapeutic spewing of emotions. Really, Blondie ought to charge 200 bucks an hour. He knows how to get results.
Naruto gets some pwnage in. Dr. Giggles can’t rely on Amaru’s hate cause her feelings/hope are at an everlasting fountain, or something. But they are interrupted because…
ENTER THE SASUKE. YES! YES! YESSSSSSSSSS!
I want to mention right here that Sasuke has been watching for a while. In fact, we don’t know how long Sasuke has been watching Naruto. I’m fairly convinced that he’s been watching our golden boy ever since he left Konoha with Dr. Giggles and Co. Perhaps waiting till they separate so he can capture his target, but he certainly wasn’t staring at Sakura. He had his chance last time and she barely registered. Naruto would be the only one that offered a real challenge. *wink wink*
So most likely Sasuke spent at least half the movie staring at his rival.
I approve and forgive his not being around/visable.
Sasuke enters at a good time *cough* not only because of my favoritism, but because I doubt Naru can kill Giggles without going all out Kyubi on him.
Officer Sharingan asks that the bad doctor come with him quietly and no one gets asskicked.
Giggles tries to go DBZ on him but his wacko muscle body fails on him, for not eating enough spinach and, oh yeah, Sasuke giving him a lightning acupuncture treatment secretly.
I want to mention Naruto warns Sasuke about Dr. Evil’s powers. Never mind that Sasuke tried to kill him when last they met. It’s like time never passed. Le sigh. Naruto’s feelings never waver.
Dr. Giggles tosses Sasuke the immortalHighlanderjutsu scroll and hightails it outta there to some secret room.
Sasuke ignores Naruto and goes after him in cold pursuit. Naruto goes after Sasuke in hot pursuit. I’m not worried since Sasuke has to know that golden boy will follow him to the ends of the earth over hot coals every step of the way. And here comes a sparkly new SasuNaru moment brought to you by that marketing genius Kishimoto!
Both young men stop at the edge of a gulf after running a ways to Giggle’s very secret hideout that is found in about 30 seconds in the bowels of a ship as big as Konaha. Sasuke stops first to wait for Naruto, er, watch the bad guy below’s actions. Naruto comes up behind him and PLACES HIS HAND GENTLY UPON SASUKE’S SHOULDER to see below. A great mirror to their last meeting. And...Sasuke...JUST...LETS...HIM...DO...IT... No threatening to break or chop off fingers. Love! Love! Love!
But duty calls as Naruto sees the evil doer doing evil deeds and jumps down to tear him a new one. Sasuke all but rolls his eyes at his cover boy’s antics, or maybe because they got interrupted. (Squee)
Giggles attaches himself to the alien nest before they can stop him because it is an unwritten rule that the bad guy must be at his most powerful before you may defeat him. Never before. Otherwise there’d be no climax. *cough* Speaking of those, Naruto and Sasuke are captured by the monster’s tentacles and my mind goes to the gutter for several very happy seconds. Naruto is only worried for Sasuke’s honor and shouts at Resident Evil to let his bishonen go!
Sasuke only reacts by pissing off Dr. Giggles meets Aliens sac. His plan (Naruto is mostly just brawn this movie) is to overpower the monster by giving him too much energy. Naruto has no problem getting pumped up and stares at Sasuke as his power increases a zillion fold with Kyubi’s.
DJOM rescues her villagers and Hinata but who cares? Sorry Hinata.
Back to Male love mania, Naruto and Sasuke have to work in sync to take out Giggles Monster once and for all. Naruto shoots power at him but he has a solid wall of power forcefield. It’s up to Sasuke and Kusanagi to cut through. They do, proving that Sasuke can always get into seemingly impenetrable places where Naruto is concerned.
Monster guy gets his. But now they released Reibi? Rabbi? Rerun? An evil force thing a-ma-jig.
So our heroes go to shove off the innocents by the boat.
Sasuke personally tosses in DJOM and sends them off.
And says his trademark annoying quote. Good times, people.
So what does Naruto do? After staring at him and giving Sasuke another compliment, he breaks off the landing where his obsession is standing.
NOOOOOOOOOO!
Parting is such sweet sorrow.
So Sasuke flies off in his transgenderformer body as Naruto shouts something to him.
I strain my ears and check the volume three times to see that it’s deliberate.
Sasuke doesn’t come back because he trusts Naruto to take care of business.
Naruto goes and sits a moment in perfect bliss, thinking about what he said to Sasuke. He smiles such a cute smile too. I love it when Naruto smiles.
Naruto goes and does his multiple body justu and tears down LaputaDeathStar5, monster and all. But he’s so out of energy. He ends up falling in the sky much like the Blue Bird opening. Sweet.
What’s not so sweet is DJOM’s actions. She steals one of those metal chakra hang gliders and flies it to Naruto only to grab him and let go of her only means of saving him. She holds onto him and tells him he’ll never be alone/she’ll take care of him. Which is crap cause we’ll never see her again after this movie.
The only thing that saves this scene is Sasuke looking up at Naruto, seeing where he’ll land, and smiling before he walks off. Knowing that Jiraya saves them before he leaves. Only pulling on his shirt at the last moment. Kishi means genius in Japanese.
So Kakashi only got to watch the sunset. Good for him. He needs a break. And Iruka.
End credits and average music but I don’t care.
I’m waiting just in case,
And I’m not disappointed.
Sasuke comes back to Orochimaru's hidden playhouse. He gives them the scroll but Kabuto questions his lack of a doctor. Sasuke doesn’t give a shit. Orochi’s not fooled. He asks him whether something good happened. Damn, he must know Sasuke was stalking, er, was in Naruto’s vicinity. Since that's the only time he’s ever not emo. But Sasuke just walks off cause he’s got a s-e-c-r-e-t.
Again he is by the waterfall of fried fish.
Sasuke at first appears collected, but then we get a flashback of Casablanca romantic proportions.
Sasuske is falling and we finally hear what Naruto shouts, emotional music at a crescendo,
“I’ll bring you back home again!”
No way is he not affected by that. Inwardly Sasuke has to be freaking shaking with joy at the pure love in Naruto’s voice.
We get no response, but he does get a giant phallic thunderbolt out cutting though the waterfall, which certainly seems symbolic of his real wishes, and we cut to the true end of the movie.
So upon seeing this, I will wait as long as it is necessary for them to meet again.
And for Naruto to take Sasuke where he belongs.
Home.