If you're Asian...or even if you're not.
http://www.asiazine.com/
Look at the past issues...
http://www.asiazine.com/v3-1/index.htm <--under "Identity" click "What type of Asian are you"
Life's Big Questions
Questions, questions, questions? Here's a sampling of some of the questions that will come up over the course of your life as an Asian.
YOU'RE BORN
The first question that your parents will ask the doctor:
Is it a boy?
YOUR SCHOOL YEARS
Questions that your parents will ask:
You got 99% on that test? What happened to the other 1%?
Are you going to play the violin or the piano? Or both?
Why don't you do [insert activity here] as well as your cousin [insert name here]?
YOUR UNIVERSITY YEARS
(not going to university is NOT an option)
Questions that your parents and relatives will ask:
You're studying Engineering?
You're studying Accounting?
You're studying Medicine?
You're studying Computers?
YOUR FIRST JOB
Questions that your relatives will ask:
You're still living at home with your parents, right? No? Why not?!!!
How much do you get paid a year?
YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER
Questions that your parents will ask:
Is he/she [insert your ethnicity here]?
Is he/she an Accountant, Engineer or Doctor?
How much money do they make a year?
YOUR FIRST CONDO/HOUSE
Questions that your parents will ask:
What are you eating? Pizza, spaghetti, hamburgers? Do you still know how to use chopsticks?
Questions that your relatives will ask:
How much did it cost? ("It" refers to the house/condo or any item within the house/condo)
YOU'RE VISITING YOUR PARENTS
Questions that your parents will ask:
Have you eaten yet?
How come you don't visit more often?
YOUR FIRST BORN
The first question that your parents and relatives will ask you:
Is it a boy?
Article by: H.Tse
12 (stupid) ideas to plan an interracial wedding
Summer is a time for weddings. If you're planning yours, here's a chance to benefit from the "sage" advice given in an article that appeared in Canadian Bride magazine. We've taken their suggestions and extrapolated them to apply to the wedding of a small town White male and a Canadian born Asian female.
Find similarities between both families and capitalize on them. Slip them a pair of tickets to the next home game or plan a shopping trip. If language is a barrier, you or your fiance can join them to translate.
REALITY: There are NO similarities between them. Picture a 60 year old prissy rich Asian woman wearing an Armani suit while sitting in the bleachers of a baseball game and slurping back a beer out of a plastic cup. What about a small town redneck family strolling casually through the fragrance aisle at Bloomingdales? NOT LIKELY!!!
Also, language IS a barrier. The bride's Chinese is so bad that SHE needs the translator to communicate to her relatives.
Exclude disapproving relatives from the festivities.
REALITY: Hmm, this would exclude 40% of the groom's relatives who are Roman Catholic in addition to the 40% who are redneck hicks. On the bride's side, this would exclude 99.9% of the relatives who live in Hong Kong and 25% who live in Canada.
Choose music selections familiar to both cultures.
REALITY: The only song that both cultures are familiar with is "Happy Birthday".
Plan a quiet dinner with you and your groom and the two sets of parents.
REALITY: It would be an extremely quiet dinner. The two sets of parents have never met and have nothing in common. In addition, the groom is afraid of the stoic Chinese soon-to-be father-in-law.
Pay close attention to details. Personalize your wedding while expressing your ethnicity.
REALITY: Thems rednecks and hicks wills reallys appreciates this. As well, White people NEVER make stupid remarks about chopsticks or use them to air-drum Def Leppard songs. What is the sound of one-armed chopstick drumming?
Incorporate traditional costumes or jewellery which reflect customs or country of origin when you plan your attire. One Muslim bride, for example, included a beautiful designer scarf with wearing instructions. These were inside the invitations sent to the Western women.
REALITY: Ok, that's baseball caps to the Chinese people and rice paddy hats to the Westerners.
Select a reception menu which reflects the ethnic heritage of both families.
REALITY: Pineapple chicken balls and Kentucky Fried Chicken.
Have personalized bride and groom statuettes for the cake, reflecting the true appearance of the wedding couple.
REALITY: This will definitely help to "avoid culture clash" and eliminate racism and intolerance.
Use ethnic table linens.
REALITY: Chinese people use table linens? Another great idea for bringing cultures together!
Have an assigned seating plan.
REALITY: The Chinese people will sit in one half of the restaurant and the White people will sit in the other half. Also, the Asian mother will ensure that the White people get to sit near the kitchen and washrooms.
Design your own place cards and demonstrate ethnicity.
REALITY: Place cards will feature a picture of Buddha nailed to a cross.
Place single-use cameras at each table and encourage mischief.
REALITY: The Chinese people will ignore the disposable cameras in favour of their Nikon cameras with telephoto lenses and their Sony digital camcorders.
Source: H.Tse
Look at the past issues...
http://www.asiazine.com/v3-1/index.htm <--under "Identity" click "What type of Asian are you"
Life's Big Questions
Questions, questions, questions? Here's a sampling of some of the questions that will come up over the course of your life as an Asian.
YOU'RE BORN
The first question that your parents will ask the doctor:
Is it a boy?
YOUR SCHOOL YEARS
Questions that your parents will ask:
You got 99% on that test? What happened to the other 1%?
Are you going to play the violin or the piano? Or both?
Why don't you do [insert activity here] as well as your cousin [insert name here]?
YOUR UNIVERSITY YEARS
(not going to university is NOT an option)
Questions that your parents and relatives will ask:
You're studying Engineering?
You're studying Accounting?
You're studying Medicine?
You're studying Computers?
YOUR FIRST JOB
Questions that your relatives will ask:
You're still living at home with your parents, right? No? Why not?!!!
How much do you get paid a year?
YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER
Questions that your parents will ask:
Is he/she [insert your ethnicity here]?
Is he/she an Accountant, Engineer or Doctor?
How much money do they make a year?
YOUR FIRST CONDO/HOUSE
Questions that your parents will ask:
What are you eating? Pizza, spaghetti, hamburgers? Do you still know how to use chopsticks?
Questions that your relatives will ask:
How much did it cost? ("It" refers to the house/condo or any item within the house/condo)
YOU'RE VISITING YOUR PARENTS
Questions that your parents will ask:
Have you eaten yet?
How come you don't visit more often?
YOUR FIRST BORN
The first question that your parents and relatives will ask you:
Is it a boy?
Article by: H.Tse
12 (stupid) ideas to plan an interracial wedding
Summer is a time for weddings. If you're planning yours, here's a chance to benefit from the "sage" advice given in an article that appeared in Canadian Bride magazine. We've taken their suggestions and extrapolated them to apply to the wedding of a small town White male and a Canadian born Asian female.
Find similarities between both families and capitalize on them. Slip them a pair of tickets to the next home game or plan a shopping trip. If language is a barrier, you or your fiance can join them to translate.
REALITY: There are NO similarities between them. Picture a 60 year old prissy rich Asian woman wearing an Armani suit while sitting in the bleachers of a baseball game and slurping back a beer out of a plastic cup. What about a small town redneck family strolling casually through the fragrance aisle at Bloomingdales? NOT LIKELY!!!
Also, language IS a barrier. The bride's Chinese is so bad that SHE needs the translator to communicate to her relatives.
Exclude disapproving relatives from the festivities.
REALITY: Hmm, this would exclude 40% of the groom's relatives who are Roman Catholic in addition to the 40% who are redneck hicks. On the bride's side, this would exclude 99.9% of the relatives who live in Hong Kong and 25% who live in Canada.
Choose music selections familiar to both cultures.
REALITY: The only song that both cultures are familiar with is "Happy Birthday".
Plan a quiet dinner with you and your groom and the two sets of parents.
REALITY: It would be an extremely quiet dinner. The two sets of parents have never met and have nothing in common. In addition, the groom is afraid of the stoic Chinese soon-to-be father-in-law.
Pay close attention to details. Personalize your wedding while expressing your ethnicity.
REALITY: Thems rednecks and hicks wills reallys appreciates this. As well, White people NEVER make stupid remarks about chopsticks or use them to air-drum Def Leppard songs. What is the sound of one-armed chopstick drumming?
Incorporate traditional costumes or jewellery which reflect customs or country of origin when you plan your attire. One Muslim bride, for example, included a beautiful designer scarf with wearing instructions. These were inside the invitations sent to the Western women.
REALITY: Ok, that's baseball caps to the Chinese people and rice paddy hats to the Westerners.
Select a reception menu which reflects the ethnic heritage of both families.
REALITY: Pineapple chicken balls and Kentucky Fried Chicken.
Have personalized bride and groom statuettes for the cake, reflecting the true appearance of the wedding couple.
REALITY: This will definitely help to "avoid culture clash" and eliminate racism and intolerance.
Use ethnic table linens.
REALITY: Chinese people use table linens? Another great idea for bringing cultures together!
Have an assigned seating plan.
REALITY: The Chinese people will sit in one half of the restaurant and the White people will sit in the other half. Also, the Asian mother will ensure that the White people get to sit near the kitchen and washrooms.
Design your own place cards and demonstrate ethnicity.
REALITY: Place cards will feature a picture of Buddha nailed to a cross.
Place single-use cameras at each table and encourage mischief.
REALITY: The Chinese people will ignore the disposable cameras in favour of their Nikon cameras with telephoto lenses and their Sony digital camcorders.
Source: H.Tse