The Natural Selection Examination: Chapter 6
Two chapters in one night?! Crazy!
The emergency room was absolute chaos. Nurses and doctors were moving from room to room at a frenetic pace, and the waiting room was filled to the brim with sick patients. Penny hunted down a free chair for Leonard while Sheldon went to retrieve paperwork from the front desk.
“How you holding up?” Penny asked Leonard as she helped him sit down.
“Feel… horrible,” he mumbled, his eyes closed.
“Hang in there,” she said, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder. “We’ll get you in to see a doctor soon.”
“This is the most disorganized hospital I have ever had the displeasure of visiting,” Sheldon complained when he returned nearly fifteen minutes later. “The nurses at the front desk have completely run out of admittance forms and claim that they are too busy to make copies; when I told them of Leonard’s current state, they told me to “get in line” and suggested I take a number, sit down, and shut up.”
Penny ran a hand through her hair. “So that’s it? We just have to sit here and watch Leonard get worse?”
“Of course not.” Sheldon gestured down the hall past the front desk. “After expressing my deep concern for the field of medicine and describing, in detail, the various ailments Leonard has suffered from for the past two days and nights, one of the nurses told me to, and I quote, “shut the goddamn hell up” and take Leonard down to room 42.”
If the situation were less dire, Penny would have laughed. Sheldon was the only person she knew who could get exactly what he wanted by being unyieldingly obnoxious.
As Sheldon and Penny were helping Leonard into the hospital bed in room 42, a frazzled nurse walked into the room and yelped in surprise.
"I'm sorry, I wasn't expecting anyone to be in here yet," she apologized. "Is this Mr. Lloyd?"
"No, this is Mr... Dr... Hofstadter," Penny clarified. "They ran out of admittance forms so you probably don't have any information. He's really sick."
"What are his symptoms?" the nurse asked, pulling a clipboard out of nowhere.
Sheldon butted in. "The patient has been complaining of nausea, vomiting, persistent headaches, aching joints, lethargy, dizziness, explosive diarrhea-"
"Sheldon..." Leonard moaned from the bed.
"Well, it's true," Sheldon responded. "He often becomes incredibly ill shortly after ingesting dairy products, but his current symptoms have steadily escalated in the past two days, and he has consumed no dairy."
The nurse scribbled something on the clipboard. "Ok. I will try to get a doctor in here as quickly as I can." She turned to leave.
"Wait," Penny said, stopping her. "Is it always this busy here? The waiting room was packed."
"No," said the nurse, sighing. "Only during the past couple of nights has it been nuts. The doctor will be able to tell you more. I've got to go." She hurried out of the room, leaving the three of them alone to wait.
Penny passed the time by sitting uncomfortably in a chair next to Leonard's bed and watching Sheldon pace back and forth, back and forth. She hated hospitals; she'd spent a week in one after her tonsils were removed, and the experience hadn't been a great one. She hated the dry air, tinted with the scent of latex and disinfectant, and the weary tension that poured out of every room. She hated that the chairs were never comfortable enough, that sleep always eluded her no matter how tired she was. She hated the food. But most of all, she hated hospitals because now her good friend was in one, and she was incredibly worried for him.
After nearly an hour of waiting, a doctor finally bustled into the room. She looked exhausted. "Hi, my name is Dr. Wisniewski," she said, sticking a hand out for Sheldon to shake. He kept his hands behind his back.
"Ok..." She retracted the hand. "So, how is Mr. Hofstadter doing?"
"He's asleep right now," Penny said. "When he's awake, he can barely talk to us, and he seems to be in a lot of pain. Do you have any idea what's wrong with him?"
"Penny," Sheldon began, holding a hand up to the doctor, "Not even the most advanced diagnostician would be able to discern Leonard's illness from the vague collection of symptoms he has displayed. There are hundreds of different diseases that Leonard may be suffering from."
"While that may be true," the doctor said, apparently too tired to let Sheldon rub her the wrong way, "We have been seeing these exact symptoms in nearly every patient that has been admitted over the past few days. And as I'm sure you noticed when you walked in, we have an alarming number of patients still waiting to be looked over. I'd be willing to bet that they all have the same symptoms."
"Are you saying that there is some sort of epidemic disease spreading through the community?" Sheldon asked.
"What I'm saying is that lots of people are sick, with presumably the same illness, but the illness doesn't seem to have a clear cause or cure. It's similar to the flu, but it doesn't respond to anti-virals, and antibiotics do not have an effect, ruling out bacteria. All we've been able to do so far is keep patients comfortable and hope that they recover on their own."
"And has anybody recovered?" Penny's voice was shaky, uncertain.
The doctor did not answer her, but the look on her face spoke volumes. "It's still early," she finally said. "Like I said, waiting is the only thing that can be done at this time. I will have blood samples taken from Mr. Hofstadter to make sure, but it is likely that he is suffering from the same thing as everyone else."
Penny and Sheldon exchanged glances. Could it really be possible that Sheldon had been right all this time? He looked as though he wanted very badly to speak, but Penny shook her head gently, and miraculously, he remained silent.
The doctor was speaking again; Penny only caught the tail end of her words. "...Need to put Mr. Hofstadter on pain medication and draw blood. Are you both family?"
"Close friends," Penny said. "His family is not from this area and we haven't been able to call his mother yet."
"Any and all phone networks appear to be down," Dr. Wisniewski replied, "so you most likely won't be able to. The Internet is down, too." She shook her head. "I don't know what the hell is going on here, but we'll do what we can for your friend. In the meantime, because you aren't family and it is past visiting hours, I'll need you to wait outside."
Penny stood up, thankful to be out of that awful chair but hesitant to leave Leonard's side. She kissed his forehead and then walked over to a protesting Sheldon.
"Come on," she urged, grabbing his arm and pulling. He reluctantly followed.
"Sheldon," Penny began as soon as they were out of the room, "We can't-"
"Everyone needs to know about this!" Sheldon exclaimed. "My theory was right! I mean, of course my theory was right, I am rarely wrong-"
"Shut up," she said, pinching the arm she was still holding. "If you start spouting crazy theories about aliens and poisoned food, you will get us kicked out of this hospital."
"They aren't crazy theories," he insisted.
"I know that." Penny's voice softened. "And you know that. But nobody else does. All it would do is freak people out. We need to keep this quiet for now, and be here for Leonard."
"There is one thing that puzzles me," Sheldon remarked, stopping in the hallway and turning to face her. "Leonard is sick, presumably from the Chinese he ate the night he returned from Las Vegas. Howard and Raj, however, appeared to be healthy and well when I saw them at Cal-Tech yesterday afternoon. Assuming they all shared their dishes at the restaurant, as they are wont to do when I am not around, it seems unlikely that only Leonard would be ill from the meal."
"Maybe he's eaten something else since then," Penny suggested. "You know, besides your food?"
"That's preposterous." Sheldon shook his head and resumed his walk toward the waiting room. "Leonard always adheres to instructions pertaining to my theories, even when he disagrees with them."
"I hope you're right," Penny said as she followed behind him. "I really, really hope you're right."
~
Several exhausting hours later, Dr. Wisniewski found them in the sea of waiting room chairs and told them the results of Leonard's blood test. Penny's insides wrenched as the doctor confirmed their fears: Leonard did have the mysterious disease that was plaguing so many people, and his prognosis was not good. Leonard was awake, however, and he wanted to speak with Sheldon. He glanced meaningfully at Penny before following the doctor down the hallway.
Penny dug desperately in her purse, pulled out a crushed pack of cigarettes, and hurried out of the waiting room and into the crisp night air. She hadn't smoked in years, but kept the pack in case a crisis arose and she needed something to calm her nerves and bring her back to herself. Lighting up and inhaling shakily, she leaned against the rough red bricks of the hospital and tried to stifle her tears.
Three years before, when she'd moved into the apartment across from Leonard and Sheldon, she hadn't given much thought to the role the two geeks would play in her life. She had, against her better judgment, ended up dating Leonard, which ultimately made a mess of their friendship. But she cared deeply for him and wanted the chance to fix things, wanted him in her life. What was she going to do if that chance was taken away from her?
She took a final drag from the cigarette and tossed it on the ground. The taste was making her nauseous, but her nerves were better. The air around her felt electric and uneasy, as though a storm was close by, but it never stormed in Pasadena. A lot of things never happened in Pasadena; she was never without friends. She was never really alone. She never let go of the things that mattered to her. Leonard mattered to her, and she didn't want to let go of him, not now.
"Penny?" Sheldon called her name gently from the open door, pulling her from her thoughts. He looked like hell, like he was trying too hard to hold too many things in. "Leonard wants to speak with you."
"Okay," she croaked, her voice scratchy from the cigarette. If Sheldon could smell the smoke on her when she walked past him, he had the decency to not bring it up.
The walk down the hallway seemed to take years. When she turned to stand in the doorway, Leonard smiled weakly at her. He had an oxygen tube trailing from his nose and an IV hooked to his arm.
"Hi," he said, his voice barely above a whisper.
"Hi," she said brokenly. She leaned over him and took one of his hands in her own; his grip was weak, far too weak.
"Turns out Sheldon was right," Leonard mumbled. "What a bastard."
Penny laughed through her tears. "He is a bastard."
"I was so mad at him, and mad that he was spending time with you... I know that's stupid," Leonard admitted. "I knew he had to be wrong. I ate out for lunch every day. It was almost... sinful."
Guilt washed over Penny. "Leonard..."
"You don't have to say anything." He reached up to cup her cheek with his free hand. "It wouldn't have worked, Penny. I love you and you are the love of my life, but it wouldn't have worked. I know that."
Penny's tears fell in tiny drips to the bed. "I don't want to lose you, Leonard. I don't know what to do."
"You'll figure it out. You're the most confident person I know." He thumbed tears away from her cheek. "Take care of Sheldon. He doesn't think he needs anybody, but he needs you."
"I need you," Penny sobbed, tasting salt on her lips.
"You have me," he said simply. Then he closed his eyes and let out a soft groan. "Can you get me some water? I'm so thirsty..."
"Of course," Penny said, wiping the tears from her cheeks and turning around. The pitcher was on the other side of the room, and was empty. "I need to fill this up," she told him. He nodded weakly.
When she returned to the room, the monitors attached to Leonard were beeping crazily. Nurses rushed in and surrounded his body, but Penny knew he was already gone.
~~
Chapter 6 notes:
- :'( Leonard!! We hardly knew ye.
- I know Sheldon is a germophobe and he probably loathes hospitals and avoids touching everything, but I sort of figured that in a serious situation he'd be a little more courteous. That's why I didn't really write about it (besides him not shaking the doctor's hand).
- I wonder what Leonard said to Sheldon, when he spoke with him alone?
- Mr. Lloyd and Dr. Wisniewski are lovely shout-outs to a couple of friends... love you guys for your ability to put up with my particular brand of crazy. <3
That's it! I have a busy weekend ahead of me, so the time between this chapter and the next may be a bit longer than usual. Tell me what you think!
The emergency room was absolute chaos. Nurses and doctors were moving from room to room at a frenetic pace, and the waiting room was filled to the brim with sick patients. Penny hunted down a free chair for Leonard while Sheldon went to retrieve paperwork from the front desk.
“How you holding up?” Penny asked Leonard as she helped him sit down.
“Feel… horrible,” he mumbled, his eyes closed.
“Hang in there,” she said, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder. “We’ll get you in to see a doctor soon.”
“This is the most disorganized hospital I have ever had the displeasure of visiting,” Sheldon complained when he returned nearly fifteen minutes later. “The nurses at the front desk have completely run out of admittance forms and claim that they are too busy to make copies; when I told them of Leonard’s current state, they told me to “get in line” and suggested I take a number, sit down, and shut up.”
Penny ran a hand through her hair. “So that’s it? We just have to sit here and watch Leonard get worse?”
“Of course not.” Sheldon gestured down the hall past the front desk. “After expressing my deep concern for the field of medicine and describing, in detail, the various ailments Leonard has suffered from for the past two days and nights, one of the nurses told me to, and I quote, “shut the goddamn hell up” and take Leonard down to room 42.”
If the situation were less dire, Penny would have laughed. Sheldon was the only person she knew who could get exactly what he wanted by being unyieldingly obnoxious.
As Sheldon and Penny were helping Leonard into the hospital bed in room 42, a frazzled nurse walked into the room and yelped in surprise.
"I'm sorry, I wasn't expecting anyone to be in here yet," she apologized. "Is this Mr. Lloyd?"
"No, this is Mr... Dr... Hofstadter," Penny clarified. "They ran out of admittance forms so you probably don't have any information. He's really sick."
"What are his symptoms?" the nurse asked, pulling a clipboard out of nowhere.
Sheldon butted in. "The patient has been complaining of nausea, vomiting, persistent headaches, aching joints, lethargy, dizziness, explosive diarrhea-"
"Sheldon..." Leonard moaned from the bed.
"Well, it's true," Sheldon responded. "He often becomes incredibly ill shortly after ingesting dairy products, but his current symptoms have steadily escalated in the past two days, and he has consumed no dairy."
The nurse scribbled something on the clipboard. "Ok. I will try to get a doctor in here as quickly as I can." She turned to leave.
"Wait," Penny said, stopping her. "Is it always this busy here? The waiting room was packed."
"No," said the nurse, sighing. "Only during the past couple of nights has it been nuts. The doctor will be able to tell you more. I've got to go." She hurried out of the room, leaving the three of them alone to wait.
Penny passed the time by sitting uncomfortably in a chair next to Leonard's bed and watching Sheldon pace back and forth, back and forth. She hated hospitals; she'd spent a week in one after her tonsils were removed, and the experience hadn't been a great one. She hated the dry air, tinted with the scent of latex and disinfectant, and the weary tension that poured out of every room. She hated that the chairs were never comfortable enough, that sleep always eluded her no matter how tired she was. She hated the food. But most of all, she hated hospitals because now her good friend was in one, and she was incredibly worried for him.
After nearly an hour of waiting, a doctor finally bustled into the room. She looked exhausted. "Hi, my name is Dr. Wisniewski," she said, sticking a hand out for Sheldon to shake. He kept his hands behind his back.
"Ok..." She retracted the hand. "So, how is Mr. Hofstadter doing?"
"He's asleep right now," Penny said. "When he's awake, he can barely talk to us, and he seems to be in a lot of pain. Do you have any idea what's wrong with him?"
"Penny," Sheldon began, holding a hand up to the doctor, "Not even the most advanced diagnostician would be able to discern Leonard's illness from the vague collection of symptoms he has displayed. There are hundreds of different diseases that Leonard may be suffering from."
"While that may be true," the doctor said, apparently too tired to let Sheldon rub her the wrong way, "We have been seeing these exact symptoms in nearly every patient that has been admitted over the past few days. And as I'm sure you noticed when you walked in, we have an alarming number of patients still waiting to be looked over. I'd be willing to bet that they all have the same symptoms."
"Are you saying that there is some sort of epidemic disease spreading through the community?" Sheldon asked.
"What I'm saying is that lots of people are sick, with presumably the same illness, but the illness doesn't seem to have a clear cause or cure. It's similar to the flu, but it doesn't respond to anti-virals, and antibiotics do not have an effect, ruling out bacteria. All we've been able to do so far is keep patients comfortable and hope that they recover on their own."
"And has anybody recovered?" Penny's voice was shaky, uncertain.
The doctor did not answer her, but the look on her face spoke volumes. "It's still early," she finally said. "Like I said, waiting is the only thing that can be done at this time. I will have blood samples taken from Mr. Hofstadter to make sure, but it is likely that he is suffering from the same thing as everyone else."
Penny and Sheldon exchanged glances. Could it really be possible that Sheldon had been right all this time? He looked as though he wanted very badly to speak, but Penny shook her head gently, and miraculously, he remained silent.
The doctor was speaking again; Penny only caught the tail end of her words. "...Need to put Mr. Hofstadter on pain medication and draw blood. Are you both family?"
"Close friends," Penny said. "His family is not from this area and we haven't been able to call his mother yet."
"Any and all phone networks appear to be down," Dr. Wisniewski replied, "so you most likely won't be able to. The Internet is down, too." She shook her head. "I don't know what the hell is going on here, but we'll do what we can for your friend. In the meantime, because you aren't family and it is past visiting hours, I'll need you to wait outside."
Penny stood up, thankful to be out of that awful chair but hesitant to leave Leonard's side. She kissed his forehead and then walked over to a protesting Sheldon.
"Come on," she urged, grabbing his arm and pulling. He reluctantly followed.
"Sheldon," Penny began as soon as they were out of the room, "We can't-"
"Everyone needs to know about this!" Sheldon exclaimed. "My theory was right! I mean, of course my theory was right, I am rarely wrong-"
"Shut up," she said, pinching the arm she was still holding. "If you start spouting crazy theories about aliens and poisoned food, you will get us kicked out of this hospital."
"They aren't crazy theories," he insisted.
"I know that." Penny's voice softened. "And you know that. But nobody else does. All it would do is freak people out. We need to keep this quiet for now, and be here for Leonard."
"There is one thing that puzzles me," Sheldon remarked, stopping in the hallway and turning to face her. "Leonard is sick, presumably from the Chinese he ate the night he returned from Las Vegas. Howard and Raj, however, appeared to be healthy and well when I saw them at Cal-Tech yesterday afternoon. Assuming they all shared their dishes at the restaurant, as they are wont to do when I am not around, it seems unlikely that only Leonard would be ill from the meal."
"Maybe he's eaten something else since then," Penny suggested. "You know, besides your food?"
"That's preposterous." Sheldon shook his head and resumed his walk toward the waiting room. "Leonard always adheres to instructions pertaining to my theories, even when he disagrees with them."
"I hope you're right," Penny said as she followed behind him. "I really, really hope you're right."
~
Several exhausting hours later, Dr. Wisniewski found them in the sea of waiting room chairs and told them the results of Leonard's blood test. Penny's insides wrenched as the doctor confirmed their fears: Leonard did have the mysterious disease that was plaguing so many people, and his prognosis was not good. Leonard was awake, however, and he wanted to speak with Sheldon. He glanced meaningfully at Penny before following the doctor down the hallway.
Penny dug desperately in her purse, pulled out a crushed pack of cigarettes, and hurried out of the waiting room and into the crisp night air. She hadn't smoked in years, but kept the pack in case a crisis arose and she needed something to calm her nerves and bring her back to herself. Lighting up and inhaling shakily, she leaned against the rough red bricks of the hospital and tried to stifle her tears.
Three years before, when she'd moved into the apartment across from Leonard and Sheldon, she hadn't given much thought to the role the two geeks would play in her life. She had, against her better judgment, ended up dating Leonard, which ultimately made a mess of their friendship. But she cared deeply for him and wanted the chance to fix things, wanted him in her life. What was she going to do if that chance was taken away from her?
She took a final drag from the cigarette and tossed it on the ground. The taste was making her nauseous, but her nerves were better. The air around her felt electric and uneasy, as though a storm was close by, but it never stormed in Pasadena. A lot of things never happened in Pasadena; she was never without friends. She was never really alone. She never let go of the things that mattered to her. Leonard mattered to her, and she didn't want to let go of him, not now.
"Penny?" Sheldon called her name gently from the open door, pulling her from her thoughts. He looked like hell, like he was trying too hard to hold too many things in. "Leonard wants to speak with you."
"Okay," she croaked, her voice scratchy from the cigarette. If Sheldon could smell the smoke on her when she walked past him, he had the decency to not bring it up.
The walk down the hallway seemed to take years. When she turned to stand in the doorway, Leonard smiled weakly at her. He had an oxygen tube trailing from his nose and an IV hooked to his arm.
"Hi," he said, his voice barely above a whisper.
"Hi," she said brokenly. She leaned over him and took one of his hands in her own; his grip was weak, far too weak.
"Turns out Sheldon was right," Leonard mumbled. "What a bastard."
Penny laughed through her tears. "He is a bastard."
"I was so mad at him, and mad that he was spending time with you... I know that's stupid," Leonard admitted. "I knew he had to be wrong. I ate out for lunch every day. It was almost... sinful."
Guilt washed over Penny. "Leonard..."
"You don't have to say anything." He reached up to cup her cheek with his free hand. "It wouldn't have worked, Penny. I love you and you are the love of my life, but it wouldn't have worked. I know that."
Penny's tears fell in tiny drips to the bed. "I don't want to lose you, Leonard. I don't know what to do."
"You'll figure it out. You're the most confident person I know." He thumbed tears away from her cheek. "Take care of Sheldon. He doesn't think he needs anybody, but he needs you."
"I need you," Penny sobbed, tasting salt on her lips.
"You have me," he said simply. Then he closed his eyes and let out a soft groan. "Can you get me some water? I'm so thirsty..."
"Of course," Penny said, wiping the tears from her cheeks and turning around. The pitcher was on the other side of the room, and was empty. "I need to fill this up," she told him. He nodded weakly.
When she returned to the room, the monitors attached to Leonard were beeping crazily. Nurses rushed in and surrounded his body, but Penny knew he was already gone.
~~
Chapter 6 notes:
- :'( Leonard!! We hardly knew ye.
- I know Sheldon is a germophobe and he probably loathes hospitals and avoids touching everything, but I sort of figured that in a serious situation he'd be a little more courteous. That's why I didn't really write about it (besides him not shaking the doctor's hand).
- I wonder what Leonard said to Sheldon, when he spoke with him alone?
- Mr. Lloyd and Dr. Wisniewski are lovely shout-outs to a couple of friends... love you guys for your ability to put up with my particular brand of crazy. <3
That's it! I have a busy weekend ahead of me, so the time between this chapter and the next may be a bit longer than usual. Tell me what you think!