(don't) let me fade out // taekai

[supremekoi]

Because they’re disintegrating in slow motion, and Jongin can’t look away.

Rating: NC-17.
Warning: Self-harm, implied disordered eating, drug mention.
Pairing: Taekai, Jongin-centric.
Length: ~8000.

Comments

[sasireun]

n__n i will be back with a comment but hi ily~

[sasireun]

reading this over was lovely ok ;__; and seeing it come to completion was so nice and i feel so lucky to have gotten to read this while you were still writing and editing it because it's just become so much and caused so many feelings, even though i don't ship very much but the way you wrote it was really believable, plus the mood you set through your writing was fantastic.

i almost forgot that this was kind of set to epik high's spoiler, which i think made it even more interesting? because when i think about it, the way that you've managed to convey their relationship in this bittersweet (extremely painful and full of anguish) way just clicks into place when i listen to spoiler now, and i feel really special because i actually got more than just this fic bc i got to talk to you about it ;;;;;

i love this fic a lot, so much, and i'm glad i could help out in editing and stuff ;u; it was a lovely read again (this is probably my 5th time reading the whole thing through once more) and i can't wait to see what else you come up with

[supremekoi]

thank you friend for all your love and support during the writing of this fic!!! *weeps* it would not have ever been posted without you ;;;;;;;;;;;; thank you for boosting my self-esteem and pointing out all the fiddly things i wouldn't have noticed by myself, you are truly a gem x

[matchynishi]

DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD:

DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD:

BUT THE END... IT SEEMED SOMEWHAT HOPEFUL........ IT DID.................DIDN'T IT?!?!?!?!?!??? CLUTCHING AT STRAWS HERE....WHY DID YOU HAVE TO HAVE THE QUESTION MARK AT THE END WHYYYYYY sobs

luhan was great here though ajkshfkjdhfkajsh he was here for such a small bit but kind of stole the scene, dies PROBABLY BECAUSE OF JONGIN BEING AN ANGSTY PISSBABY dies forevar

sehun n yixing were osm like always alsdkfjl and taemin. T_______T he's so determined to be okay!!! like!!! i'm ttly okay!!!! WHY CANT THE BOTH OF THEM UNBEND A LITTLE BIT Llksdjflakjlsdkaj oh taekai

[supremekoi]

it's hopeful if you want it to be hopeful???? i'm sorry it was based off the song and the song was very ambivalent so i was also very ambivalent. the question mark at the end is because the song lyrics end like that D: D: D:

lu han is my pet babb and so are sexing and you can tell i can't keep them out >___> but yes i wanted someone to call jongin out on his hoity toity pissbaby bullshit like 'who do you think you're saving kid you don't know shit' and jongin is like /wahhhh flail punch wall/

it was so hard keeping sexing out of this fic ;;;;;;; i cut so much of them out because they kept INFILTRATING ugh OTPs are so annoying

i promise (maybe??) that next time i will try to make taekai happy <3 <3 and yay for learning new words!

[matchynishi]

i want it to be hopeful. :|b

you know when you said it was hard keeping sexing out, for a moment i was wondering if you meant lay/sehun or like, just, you know, sex

i'm glad you decided to keep both in regardless

I WILL HOLD YOU TO HAPPY TAEKAI FIC OMG

[supremekoi]

i meant yixing/sehun haha, i am not fond of writing smut TT_____TT where do all the body parts go??

[kimkai]

Yay more TaeKai! I liked this a lot and it's got Lulu in it. I love how Sehun and Yixing and Luhan all just look at Jongin and they're just like "this kid" and bug him about what an emotional pissbaby he is and tell him to just call Taemin. Jongin is such a perfect brat, even Taemin has to tell him not to get too angsty about the time they spend apart and just focus on the time they spend tog there and taking care of himself when they're apart. SHINee's cameo was brilliant too; I gotta admit I was just as jealous of Minho as Nini seemed. 2min was my first otp and I'm so far removed from it now because Jongin lol. Thanks for writing and sharing!

[supremekoi]

thank you for reading!! i'm glad you liked it :) i love bratty jealous insecure jongin too - always getting in the way of all my ships and messing everything up >___>

[madmadammims]

First off, wow. Like, really wow. . . How did you even come up with this?? I mean the attention to detail is insane. And why only post here, why not AFF?? I think, no I hope, you'll consider writing more. Whether it's a follow up to this or something else. . . Just something. lord knows the taekai scene could use more talented writers. goodness it was so good I actually got past bottom kai >< which I've never read before, interesting choice on that btw. But the inner workings inside their heads and how every scene fit so perfectly, creating this fluid transition between environments and emotions. Just bravo. and I actually LOVE Taekai's chracterisations, like precious aloof Tae and silent yet desperate Jong. And they're both so good yet so flawed ahh TT why so perfect. <3

[supremekoi]

aww thank you for your kind words!!! i was listening to 'spoiler' by epik high and really wanted to write taekai, so...this happened. i'm actually really new to posting fic so this was the first place i started! but may eventually branch out to ao3/aff when i get around to it, haha. did you write 'popping pointe' by the way? because that is truly one of my fave taekai fics EVER, it's so...i cry a little every time i reread it. i think that fic was definitely one of the inspirations for this one too - usually i don't like putting my precious babies through SO MUCH PAIN but that one gave me a taste for angst.

and jongin has always seemed like a bottom to me, haha, especially how taemin is all cheeky and gets his way all the time and jongin is all needy and bratty *v* i am definitely keen to write more taekai but probably something more fluffy/domestic because...it hurts me when i hurt them...even though it's kind of fun

[madmadammims]

Ahh I see! I haven't heard the song but wow must be good for such inspiration! What's ao3 btw? I'm not familiar with the term.

And. . . Yes, I did- well am currently lol I'm a terrible updater. But oh! I'm so glad you like it >< I never intended to write something so . . . I dunno angsty/depressing lol it just comes out that way!

On Jongin bottoming, haha that is true, he seems like he would let Taemin do whatever he wants with him to be honest. And yes omg domestic super fluffy taekai would give me life. Please write it! <3

[supremekoi]

ao3 = archive of our own, it's a newer one i think! and i would love to see how your fic ends when you do update! i'm so very invested; the emotional stakes are very high

[maajorbitch]

OMG, THIS WAS SO AMAZING *cries*
ughhhhhhhhhh, why would you do that???? there's this heaviness sitting at the bottom of my heart now and...IT WON'T GO AWAY
it's been a while since I last read an angsty taekai, now I remember why I don't like angst that much...
however, this fic is fantastic, it's lovely! You're an amazing author dear, I can literally feel the salt of my unshed tears, god, I love this a lot. I did not cry, but hell I was about to
that ending tho, WHERE'S MY HAPPY TAEKAI *sobs harder*
The ending is perfect, though it's a very open one, I can help but feel that it suits the story reall well... ugh, Taemin and Jongin are beautiful togeher, thank you so much for writing this! I'm so Rec-ing this in my TaeKai fic rec!!

[supremekoi]

*hands you tissues* i actually don't like angst very much either! my favourite genre is well-characterised crack but sadly i am not very funny so i just put my faves through a lot of pain. i can't promise anything but i too want happy taekai so maybe something will come along soon!! <3 <3 ty for reading, you are lovely *hands you more tissues*