Indulged Husband - Part II
-where Nakamaru sets his plan in motion-
At a house somewhere in the countryside-
Nakamaru was gritting his teeth and blaming himself as he wandered around Ueda’s house. He hadn’t been here for ages and was prone to get lost. He’d been walking for 5 minutes and still there was no sign of Ueda. It was very modern gothic architecture with a main hall and two wings built on many levels. The walls were slate colored and encrusted with metal and metallic art hung from the ceiling. The wall hangings were dark tapestries with Gustav Klimt inspired designs embellished with gold. Not to mention the Samurai swords. In contrast, the furniture was pure white and reflected on the black marble floor.
From the second floor, one could walk to the edge on one side and fall into the entryway of the first floor. There were no railings! It made for a magnificent view but Nakamaru shivered. He wondered what the dungeons looked like. He was sure there were dungeons. It was raining outside and the dark granite walls seemed to be seeping water into the house.
“Ueda?” Where the hell did he go? He said he was preparing the training area. Could it be in the other wing? All of a sudden he heard a noise.
“OOEEOOO”
It echoed again.
“OOAAAAAAOOOOOO!” Door slammed open and someone walked up the stairs. They seemed to be strangely enough ‘giggling’.
“Tat-chan?” Nakamaru was a quivering mess. He suddenly needed to use the bathroom.
“OhaYO!” Pi appeared in front of him smiling.
“Oh, Yamashita! It’s you!” Nakamaru wiped the sweat off his brow in relief.
“What a great house! It echoes! I could live here. Look at the drop to the first floor. If only there was a swimming pool in the entry, we could jump!” Pi marveled.
“If only there were a pool. Now, if you jump, you’ll get splattered all over the shiny marble and look like that painting over there! Don’t go near!” Nakamaru pulled him towards the stairs. “We need to find Ueda.”
A few hours later-
The doorbell rang and Ueda ran to the front door to answer. Akanishi Jin stood there pouting at him. He was drenched and started sneezing as soon as he walked in. He was greeting Ueda when all of a sudden, a body covered in a blanket ran toward him and mumbled.
“Shhoo Mwah mwah”
“What is that?” Jin stared.
“Shhoo MWAH MWAH!” the creature yelled.
“Guess who I am?” Ueda translated and winked. Jin blinked in wonder.
“KAME!” Jin ran and hugged the bundle.
“I knew you couldn’t spend the day without me.” He dropped kisses on the bundled head where he thought the lips were located and squeezed the life out of it. “I missed you! I missed you so much already!” He started murmuring endearments to the now reeling blanket.
Ueda stared for a minute and quickly came to his senses. “Not Kame, Not Kame!” He shouted.
“What! Not Kame?” The blanket looked down shyly and shook its head and shoulders from side to side.
Jin became embarrassed and enraged. “How dare you impersonate Kame, you phony Pervert?” He narrowed his eyes and threw a hard punch at the bundle and got an “AHHHHHHHHH!” and a punch in return.
“AHHHKKKKKKKIIIIILLLLUUUUUUUU!” The creature shouted.
They were soon punching each other with Ueda trying to pull Jin back. The fight stopped when the bundle tripped, fell to the floor and started kicking away its blanket wildly.
Later- much later -
“Pi?” Jin tentatively inquired only to get a glare and a snarl in return.
They were each black and blue from the encounter and sat farthest away from each other, as the dark wood table where tea was served for them would allow.
Tat-chan and Nakamaru were trying unsuccessfully to make small talk when the eldest decided to make his next move.
He turned to Pi.
“Pi, did you know Kamenashi was doing a radio show today? With Fukuyama Masaharu!” He put a lot of awe into his voice. “You and Kame went to dinner with him once, didn’t you.” he inquired.
“Yes, we did.”
“What is he like?” Ueda asked.
“He was actually kind and gentle to us. He’s a cool guy anyone can admire.” Pi told him. “Nothing at all like that baka over there.” He added.
“I know Kame-chan was admiring him. He kept talking about how stylish he was and how he did not look his age at all.” Nakamaru put in.
“Hmmph!” Jin glared at them.
Pi glanced at him and got a wicked smile. He said in a conspiring tone, “Actually, Fukuyama-san asked me and Kame to call him Fuku-chan. He got on with Kame so much he requested a midnight walk under the stars with him. They were always whispering things together. Kame-chan was so pretty that day. It was so romantic. Fuku-chan looked so fit!” He pouted. “But I was not invited!”
“Kame was mentioning that!” Nakamaru informed everyone. “How Fukuyama-san was like the ideal man!”
“Kakkoi!Fuku-chan and Kame is with him as we speak! I bet they will go out after the show. Lucky!” Ueda shouted and looked over at Jin to see how he was taking it.
Jin had turned into a block of ice. He thought about his Kazu walking under a starry sky and his hand brushing against Fukuyama’s. ‘Maybe he smiled at the older man. Nobody could resist Kazu in the moonlight. And if he smiled his cute pouty smile…’ Jin’s heart was in his throat. He turned in his chair and slammed his fists on the table. His brown hair fell into his eyes but he ignored it. ‘If Fukuyama invited Kazu to the radio show, he must be planning something. He must be trying to molest my Kazu!!’.
His puffy lips started trembling together and he started whispering to himself. “It can’t be. It can’t be. I will not lose Kazu…I will not lose to Fukuyama!” he finally yelled.
He stood up, knocking down his chair, and stormed to the door.
Ueda and Nakamaru ran to him and pulled him back by the collar.
“Where are you going?”
“I’m going to prevent that smooth oily man from taking away my Kazu!”
”What will you do? Fukuyama-san is always going to be cool and handsome and stylish and all over Kame-chan. How can you compete with him looking like this?” Nakamaru asked and knocked him on the head.
“You used to be so fit, Kame would be drooling in the shower room. You should bring that Jin back instead of running after him like a jealous husband.” Ueda said.
Jin looked defeated. Tears overflowed and he felt like bawling.
“Jin, you can do it. Win Kame back! Get back into shape! Become Kakkoi once again! Make Kame run after you instead of running after him.” Ueda told him. Jin looked a little hopeful.
Pi snorted at the three. “Get in shape? Akanishi? Whatever!”
Jin looked at his ex-best friend and shouted in a rage. “I can still take you on, ANYTIME!”
“Bring it ON!”
“I’m gonna kick your ass, BAAKA!”
“Know who you are talking to, BAAAAKA!”
At Ueda’s ‘Gym’-
Nakamaru, Jin and Pi were still in a daze from the shock of seeing Ueda’s gym first hand. There was a black boxing ring in the middle and punching bags, free weights and bars placed around it. The weight benches were upholstered in white fur. More interesting was the large gothic mirrors on the walls surrounding the gym and the chains hanging from the ceilings. The oil paintings in-between featured mainly girls in black leather and dog collars. One painting was a princess with boxing gloves with a keen resemblance to Tat-chan.
“WTF” the three stared and stared.
“Let’s get to it! Here, put these on. I always wanted to see your level.” Ueda threw the gloves at Pi and Jin.
He moved the boys to the ring and picked up a remote to turn on the music.
‘I’M GONNA KNOCK YOU DOWN! MAMMA SAY KNOCK YOU DOWN!’ the stereo boomed.
Jin looked at Pi and looked down at his feet, his lips trembling.
“I can’t do this. I love Pi and I can’t hit him when I can see him. It’s OK if you want to hit me.” He told him.
Pi was touched to his toes and all anger evaporated. “Jin-kun!”
He wanted to hug his best-friend.
“Don’t give up, Jin. Try a jab, first! “ Ueda encouraged and demonstrated to Jin. Jab, jab.
“Hey, you’re hitting him!” Pi rushed to Ueda and jabbed him instead.
Ueda turned to Pi and exclaimed, “That’s the way Pi! Here, try this punch. It’s called a hook! And a left jab! And a right jab!” Pi was trying hard to block but Ueda was too quick.
Jin tried to step in but was instructed on the hook as well as the uppercut. He flew around the ring trying to avoid the next right and left cross when Pi stepped in bravely to save his friend.
Ueda saw him and yelled, “I know what we’ll do. Let me change the music!” He ran to the remote control as Pi flew past him with his arm outstretched and bounced off the rope.
Pitbull came on the stereo and Ueda jumped back between the staggering idols. “This one’s for you, Pi”
“TOMA!”
‘I’m gonna make that thang Bang!
I’m gonna make that thang bounce!’
“Let one go, Pi! Come on! TOMA!” Ueda shouted and rushed at him. Jin was already out of the game and couldn’t move to assist his friend.
’I’m gonna make that thang shake!
I’m gonna make that thang clap!
Until that thang break!’
Pi was soon on his knees and crying like a baby. “Enough! Cough! Cough! ENOUGH!”
He crawled away toward Jin when he saw his best friends gloved arm stretched out trying to reach him. He sobbed as Jin slowly moved his broken body toward him.
“That is the most beautiful thing I ever saw outside of Gokusen II” Nakamaru whispered.
“That was pathetic. Your level is so low. Kat-tun and News are doomed!” Ueda threw his arms up. He removed one glove to pull his hair behind his ear.
“From tomorrow onwards, we’re going to go running 4 miles a day in the morning and do body training in the afternoons. We’ll also work on other items on the agenda. Jin, you will practice your guitar every evening and instead of going to Kame’s and watching him cook, you will write your own music and lyrics. We will get you to a hairdresser and a stylist. If you continue at this rate, you’ll never impress Kame!” Ueda announced.
“Never impress Whom? UEDA!” the enraged voice bounced off the walls of the gym. The ground shook and chains clanged from the ceiling.
Next-
Part III
-where we witness two styles of fighting and three types of love-making-