[KH:CoM;challenge] Talking In Circles
Lexaeus, Zexion
#01 - Comfort
There is no comfort to be taken in coming back to life again, Lexaeus finds, no comfort at all, not when there's an echoing hollow in his chest that nothing, not even Zexion's presence, can fill.
#02 - Kiss
Lexaeus had to steal and coax kisses from Zexion since the other man didn't believe in it, thought it too intimate, sometimes too little to satisfy, and most of the time, too human.
#03 - Soft
The most truthful words are the ones Zexion murmurs into Lexaeus' skin, secrets and wishes and desires, all too soft for either of them to hear and remember.
#04 - Pain
"It doesn't hurt," Lexaeus observes, clinically examining the broken blisters on his hands where he had overworked the tomahawk, oozing clear liquid and just the tiniest shadow of red.
#05 - Potatoes
Potato-peeling duty was arguably a tedious and boring task, yet for some inexplicable reason Lexaeus liked it (because it was something to do, he said once), and Zexion just couldn't help taking advantage of it at times.
#06 - Rain
Ienzo didn't like getting caught in the rain, didn't like getting wet, definitely not with his clothes on, and certainly not while Elaeus was watching, the larger man chuckling as he held out an umbrella, "The look suits you."
#07 - Chocolate
Chocolate was supposed to be a sinful pleasure, but the ones Lexaeus takes from the boxes the others bring back are small and dark and bitter, unsweetened by milk or sugar or some other additional confectionary and most of the time Zexion watches them melt, uneaten, into formless, forlon shapes in their little frilly cups, and then they were fed to the Dusks.
#08 - Happiness
Happiness is only reserved for those with hearts, and Zexion sourly thinks that that's rather unfair.
#09 - Telephone
There were never any open communication channels between Castle Oblivion and the Castle that Never Was, and it never occured to them to question it.
#10 - Ears
There are no goodbyes when Lexaeus goes to die, and Zexion thinks he wouldn't have wanted to listen to those lies anyway.
#11 - Name
Their old names sound almost foreign to them now, Elaeus and Ienzo, tripping over tongue and teeth when they try to say them out loud, for the first time and for the last.
#12 - Sensual
He exhales slowly, feeling his body relax as Lexaeus undresses him, pushing the soft leather off pale shoulders and kissing them, tracing a wet tongue down a shuddering, arcing spine.
#13 - Death
"Vexen's scent is gone," Zexion reports, and he doesn't flinch when Lexaeus remarks casually, almost like a scientist examining the results of an experiment, "So nobodies can still die."
#14 - Sex
Zexion can be horribly impatient and pushy during sex, slurring venom through swollen lips and clawing vicious enough to bleed, all just to get Lexaeus to move accordingly, but Lexaeus likes taking it at his own pace, and he's the stronger of them both.
#15 - Touch
He lets his fingers navigate Lexaeus' bare skin, marking out a map of scars (thin, thick, twisted, raised and lowered and faded) that told a story of a life the both of them forgot.
#16 - Weakness
"Does it bother you that much?" Lexaeus asks, and Zexion doesn't want to think if he's lying when he snarls back, "No."
#17 - Tears
"Of course we can cry," Zexion says scathingly, "But Whether we feel anything when we do is an entirely different matter."
#18 - Speed
"I'm faster," he says triumphantly, but quickly finds his smirk fading into an uncontrollable pout as Elaeus laughs, deep, throaty and warm, in between huffs and puffs.
#19 - Wind
"We wind clocks because there's nothing else to do," Lexaeus says sensibly, while Zexion snorts and bites back a retort.
#20 - Freedom
When Zexion feels Lexaeus die, he knows that Lexaeus had found a different set of keys, to a different door that promised the same freedom from a life of being a nobody: he also knows that he has neither the strength nor the courage to walk through that same door.
#21 - Life
"Is this a second life then," he says instead of asking, and Lexaeus shrugs before replying, "I wouldn't call this a life."
#22 - Jealousy
Elaeus spends much of his time, when he's not in the laboratories or doing research, wrist-deep in earth and being kissed by the sun, while Ienzo bitches from the shade, squalling about things like the heat and the dirt and being burnt peeling pink by the same sun.
#23 - Hands
Lexaeus' hands are big and rough and callused from the hours he puts into his training, and Zexion's are small and white and untouched, but somehow they fit together like two parts of a jigsaw, beautiful and perfect and whole.
#24 - Taste
Zexion complains how can someone taste of blueberries and cream and sugar and all sorts of other sillier things that you read in books when what you really are is just human, and Lexaeus wisely says nothing to rebut that statement.
#25 - Devotion
Devotion, and affection, and love is empty without a heart, and Zexion knows there isn't any point in trying to fool himself otherwise.
#26 - Forever
"You don't want to live forever," Elaeus says, and Ienzo laughs, low, derisive, and says, "Oh, but I do."
#27 - Blood
"We could bleed," Zexion surmises, casually tossing a knife into the air and then watching it bite into the wood with a thunk, "but that doesn't make us human."
#28 - Sickness
"Madness is unexpectedly catching, isn't it."
#29 - Melody
Zexion wonders if Demyx would have sung dirges for the dead, for Vexen and Lexaeus and Larxene and Marluxia, and then decides Demyx wouldn't because Demyx was a nobody, and nobodies never cared.
#30 - Star
"Namine taught me how to make this," Lexaeus says, tumbling a yellow, badly crumpled, squashed-looking thing with five rather dog-eared points into his open hand, and Zexion delivers a critical glance before asking, "This is a star?"
#31 - Home
It was difficult to look at the ruined remains of Radiant Garden, stripped bare and naked of its former glory, and know that they can no longer lay any claim to it, not anymore.
#32 - Confusion
Ienzo remembers meeting Elaeus for the first time and thinking, What on earth does his mother feed him?
#33 - Fear
"It scares you," Lexaeus says, and Zexion retorts far too quickly that it becomes a mistake, "I just don't want to die again."
#34 - Lightning/Thunder
He didn't think he cared enough to be irritated at the sight of Lexaeus poring over some books with Larxene, of all people, and to have the thought, That's my place flash through his mind.
#35 - Bonds
"To Kingdom Hearts," Xemnas toasted, and it was a hollow cheer as they echoed him.
#36 - Market
"You didn't have to," Ienzo protested, but his hands still reached out hungrily for the brown-papered, market-bought box of freshly baked almond cookies.
#37 - Technology
Even though they were scientists, it was hard to determine if the Castle Oblivion was machine or magic.
#38 - Gift
"Is a heart what you really want?" he asks, and for the first time since he's known Lexaeus as Lexaeus, the elder falters uncertainly before answering, "Yes."
#39 - Smile
"You should smile more," Elaeus says matter-of-factly to Ienzo, prompting a muffled choke from Braig.
#40 - Innocence
“Don't you ever think of yourself as an innocent, Namine,” he spat, feeling Lexaeus place a warning hand on his shoulder, “We were never innocent.”
#41 - Completion
They were made of broken things, half-remembered histories and missing hearts, and maybe that was half the reasons why they all came here: to discover what had been stolen from them and get it back so they would be whole once more.
#42 - Clouds
"There goes a sheep," Elaeus says, while Ienzo squints and shakes his head and argues, "No, I think that looks more like a goat."
#43 - Sky
"The sky has fallen," Lexaeus greets when they finally meet Roxas, and Zexion tilts his head at that, and smiles coldly in welcome.
#44 - Heaven
"If we're not meant to exist, if we don't exist, well, there's really no need to care about where we go when we die."
#45 - Hell
Hell, Zexion thinks, is watching the Heartless descend on worlds like a plague, taking old and young, male and female alike, and then killing them in order to collect the hearts they stole.
#46 - Sun
"I had hoped, that at the very least, we would have the sun," Lexaeus said quietly as he closed the doors of Oblivion behind them.
#47 - Moon
"It's a heart-shaped moon," Zexion hissed behind Lexaeus' concealing bulk.
#48 - Waves
It's like sitting in the wake of the coming tide, he thinks, watching the waves of darkness, seemingly harmless little microwaves, rise higher and higher until it swallows you whole.
#49 - Hair
"You like to hide a lot, don't you?" Elaeus asked, reaching up to touch Ienzo's fringe only to have his hand batted away.
#50 - Supernova
"How do you think it would feel, Zexion," Lexaeus says, almost wistfully, "To have a heart again?"
"Like a supernova, Lexaeus," Zexion answers, eye gazing in the far distance, beyond the white walls of Castle Oblivion.
#01 - Comfort
There is no comfort to be taken in coming back to life again, Lexaeus finds, no comfort at all, not when there's an echoing hollow in his chest that nothing, not even Zexion's presence, can fill.
#02 - Kiss
Lexaeus had to steal and coax kisses from Zexion since the other man didn't believe in it, thought it too intimate, sometimes too little to satisfy, and most of the time, too human.
#03 - Soft
The most truthful words are the ones Zexion murmurs into Lexaeus' skin, secrets and wishes and desires, all too soft for either of them to hear and remember.
#04 - Pain
"It doesn't hurt," Lexaeus observes, clinically examining the broken blisters on his hands where he had overworked the tomahawk, oozing clear liquid and just the tiniest shadow of red.
#05 - Potatoes
Potato-peeling duty was arguably a tedious and boring task, yet for some inexplicable reason Lexaeus liked it (because it was something to do, he said once), and Zexion just couldn't help taking advantage of it at times.
#06 - Rain
Ienzo didn't like getting caught in the rain, didn't like getting wet, definitely not with his clothes on, and certainly not while Elaeus was watching, the larger man chuckling as he held out an umbrella, "The look suits you."
#07 - Chocolate
Chocolate was supposed to be a sinful pleasure, but the ones Lexaeus takes from the boxes the others bring back are small and dark and bitter, unsweetened by milk or sugar or some other additional confectionary and most of the time Zexion watches them melt, uneaten, into formless, forlon shapes in their little frilly cups, and then they were fed to the Dusks.
#08 - Happiness
Happiness is only reserved for those with hearts, and Zexion sourly thinks that that's rather unfair.
#09 - Telephone
There were never any open communication channels between Castle Oblivion and the Castle that Never Was, and it never occured to them to question it.
#10 - Ears
There are no goodbyes when Lexaeus goes to die, and Zexion thinks he wouldn't have wanted to listen to those lies anyway.
#11 - Name
Their old names sound almost foreign to them now, Elaeus and Ienzo, tripping over tongue and teeth when they try to say them out loud, for the first time and for the last.
#12 - Sensual
He exhales slowly, feeling his body relax as Lexaeus undresses him, pushing the soft leather off pale shoulders and kissing them, tracing a wet tongue down a shuddering, arcing spine.
#13 - Death
"Vexen's scent is gone," Zexion reports, and he doesn't flinch when Lexaeus remarks casually, almost like a scientist examining the results of an experiment, "So nobodies can still die."
#14 - Sex
Zexion can be horribly impatient and pushy during sex, slurring venom through swollen lips and clawing vicious enough to bleed, all just to get Lexaeus to move accordingly, but Lexaeus likes taking it at his own pace, and he's the stronger of them both.
#15 - Touch
He lets his fingers navigate Lexaeus' bare skin, marking out a map of scars (thin, thick, twisted, raised and lowered and faded) that told a story of a life the both of them forgot.
#16 - Weakness
"Does it bother you that much?" Lexaeus asks, and Zexion doesn't want to think if he's lying when he snarls back, "No."
#17 - Tears
"Of course we can cry," Zexion says scathingly, "But Whether we feel anything when we do is an entirely different matter."
#18 - Speed
"I'm faster," he says triumphantly, but quickly finds his smirk fading into an uncontrollable pout as Elaeus laughs, deep, throaty and warm, in between huffs and puffs.
#19 - Wind
"We wind clocks because there's nothing else to do," Lexaeus says sensibly, while Zexion snorts and bites back a retort.
#20 - Freedom
When Zexion feels Lexaeus die, he knows that Lexaeus had found a different set of keys, to a different door that promised the same freedom from a life of being a nobody: he also knows that he has neither the strength nor the courage to walk through that same door.
#21 - Life
"Is this a second life then," he says instead of asking, and Lexaeus shrugs before replying, "I wouldn't call this a life."
#22 - Jealousy
Elaeus spends much of his time, when he's not in the laboratories or doing research, wrist-deep in earth and being kissed by the sun, while Ienzo bitches from the shade, squalling about things like the heat and the dirt and being burnt peeling pink by the same sun.
#23 - Hands
Lexaeus' hands are big and rough and callused from the hours he puts into his training, and Zexion's are small and white and untouched, but somehow they fit together like two parts of a jigsaw, beautiful and perfect and whole.
#24 - Taste
Zexion complains how can someone taste of blueberries and cream and sugar and all sorts of other sillier things that you read in books when what you really are is just human, and Lexaeus wisely says nothing to rebut that statement.
#25 - Devotion
Devotion, and affection, and love is empty without a heart, and Zexion knows there isn't any point in trying to fool himself otherwise.
#26 - Forever
"You don't want to live forever," Elaeus says, and Ienzo laughs, low, derisive, and says, "Oh, but I do."
#27 - Blood
"We could bleed," Zexion surmises, casually tossing a knife into the air and then watching it bite into the wood with a thunk, "but that doesn't make us human."
#28 - Sickness
"Madness is unexpectedly catching, isn't it."
#29 - Melody
Zexion wonders if Demyx would have sung dirges for the dead, for Vexen and Lexaeus and Larxene and Marluxia, and then decides Demyx wouldn't because Demyx was a nobody, and nobodies never cared.
#30 - Star
"Namine taught me how to make this," Lexaeus says, tumbling a yellow, badly crumpled, squashed-looking thing with five rather dog-eared points into his open hand, and Zexion delivers a critical glance before asking, "This is a star?"
#31 - Home
It was difficult to look at the ruined remains of Radiant Garden, stripped bare and naked of its former glory, and know that they can no longer lay any claim to it, not anymore.
#32 - Confusion
Ienzo remembers meeting Elaeus for the first time and thinking, What on earth does his mother feed him?
#33 - Fear
"It scares you," Lexaeus says, and Zexion retorts far too quickly that it becomes a mistake, "I just don't want to die again."
#34 - Lightning/Thunder
He didn't think he cared enough to be irritated at the sight of Lexaeus poring over some books with Larxene, of all people, and to have the thought, That's my place flash through his mind.
#35 - Bonds
"To Kingdom Hearts," Xemnas toasted, and it was a hollow cheer as they echoed him.
#36 - Market
"You didn't have to," Ienzo protested, but his hands still reached out hungrily for the brown-papered, market-bought box of freshly baked almond cookies.
#37 - Technology
Even though they were scientists, it was hard to determine if the Castle Oblivion was machine or magic.
#38 - Gift
"Is a heart what you really want?" he asks, and for the first time since he's known Lexaeus as Lexaeus, the elder falters uncertainly before answering, "Yes."
#39 - Smile
"You should smile more," Elaeus says matter-of-factly to Ienzo, prompting a muffled choke from Braig.
#40 - Innocence
“Don't you ever think of yourself as an innocent, Namine,” he spat, feeling Lexaeus place a warning hand on his shoulder, “We were never innocent.”
#41 - Completion
They were made of broken things, half-remembered histories and missing hearts, and maybe that was half the reasons why they all came here: to discover what had been stolen from them and get it back so they would be whole once more.
#42 - Clouds
"There goes a sheep," Elaeus says, while Ienzo squints and shakes his head and argues, "No, I think that looks more like a goat."
#43 - Sky
"The sky has fallen," Lexaeus greets when they finally meet Roxas, and Zexion tilts his head at that, and smiles coldly in welcome.
#44 - Heaven
"If we're not meant to exist, if we don't exist, well, there's really no need to care about where we go when we die."
#45 - Hell
Hell, Zexion thinks, is watching the Heartless descend on worlds like a plague, taking old and young, male and female alike, and then killing them in order to collect the hearts they stole.
#46 - Sun
"I had hoped, that at the very least, we would have the sun," Lexaeus said quietly as he closed the doors of Oblivion behind them.
#47 - Moon
"It's a heart-shaped moon," Zexion hissed behind Lexaeus' concealing bulk.
#48 - Waves
It's like sitting in the wake of the coming tide, he thinks, watching the waves of darkness, seemingly harmless little microwaves, rise higher and higher until it swallows you whole.
#49 - Hair
"You like to hide a lot, don't you?" Elaeus asked, reaching up to touch Ienzo's fringe only to have his hand batted away.
#50 - Supernova
"How do you think it would feel, Zexion," Lexaeus says, almost wistfully, "To have a heart again?"
"Like a supernova, Lexaeus," Zexion answers, eye gazing in the far distance, beyond the white walls of Castle Oblivion.