Man, I guess I should do one of these things, shouldn't I? Well, it's gonna be real short cause um...there's cake here. And hot wings. And I want to eat them. Not mixed together.
Dick Casablancas: He's dumb, he's rich, and he's a jackass. He'll hit on anything that moves (unless his girlfriend is around). He's got a pink mini-Transformer named Sparkles. If he had to pick anyone in town to sacrifice to some sort of monster, not Sulley, he'd pick Tino the bartender. AND HE'S A CHEATER CHEATER PUMPKIN EATER! Cause he's a jackass. But lookit him. He's so cute. You can't really get mad at him. Even canon can't get mad at him.
Meg Manning: Not dead, despite canon rumors that I've heard. Seriously the nicest person you'll ever meet. No joke. She'll put up with a lot of crap before getting angry at somebody. She is, however, put off by people that remind her of Veronica Mars. So watch out your spunky blondes that can't keep out of other people's business or boyfriends. Asking who in town she'd sacrifice to a monster would be silly since she'd never answer the question. Oh, and she's not Jo Harvelle. But she does have a Winchester. So take that.
Prue Halliwell: Now this one actually is dead and has been for a while. I say she looks pretty good for a dead chick. She's a witch and has the power of telekinesis and astral projection. Normally a nice girl but mess with her family and you're in all sorts of trouble. Who in town would she sacrifice to a monster? Anders Probably herself cause, y'know, dead already. Can't get much deader than dead. No, really. Anders
Swedish Chef: He's Swedish, he cooks and you can't understand a damn thing he says. His constant companion is his chicken, Das Schnitzel. Contrary in popular belief, she's not from Germany. She's actually from New Jersey. Which is why she can kick your ass by using just a Bic pen, Skittles and some Aqua Net. Them Jersey girls are tough. And if a monster were attacking the town and demanded a sacrifice the Chef would try to figure out a way to kill the monster and serve it for lunch. Mmmmm monster.
Questions? Comments? No, you can't have any cake. It's mine!