Looking for an outlet, something to show me the way. Instruction manuals my title because thats what I'm longing for day after day. Night comes and sleep is good, but waking in the morning its straight from hell. Sometimes, I dont know why, but man feels like he'd rather just never wake up again. Who wants to wake up when waking up is simply an ( Read more... )

So yeah today at work life was much better. Initially I made the "mistake" of asking Adam about the so called "fight". I kept thinking for the next two hours that i had pissed him off really badly. Fortunately this was not the case. I got over my concern for what people think about me and apologized to him even if that made me look gay. I apologize ( Read more... )

Work sucked. Adam sucked today. I mean he was cool and all but he definitely first of all shocked me with his stories and his experiences and secondly offended me and made me feel like shit- with the accomplice of his choice- that girl whatever her name is. i think its megan billingsworth or somethign like that. anyways. i dont want to publish this ( Read more... )

I never thought about a race in this way. Life is almost always compared to a race in literature and in speech. pastors talk about finishing the race and making it to the finish line. January 1st is today, , the starting line for the year 2005, and my friend lost. He lost the race. He lost the race at the starting line. Pay no mind to the clock and ( Read more... )

I talked to Carmen on the phone today... Alex's phone to be exact (theres your dedication biatch)... haha and we talked about Yuk and the other camraderie of Dodgen people who I either work with, go to school with, or have just heard funny stories about. I like Alex and her friends a lot. Thanks Alex for always making me laugh. Random friendship ( Read more... )

SO yeah... yesterday at HCO was pretty tight. I worked in the main room for a little while and I saw a bunch of people from Cold SIzzle and from the Walton High place. I ran into Christie and we talked about how we both hated Cold SIzzle and how we both dont work there anymore. She is cool , I am glad I got to see her because we were good buds at ( Read more... )

College is soon to be. I don't like life right now. I have so many things going for me. I have good grades, a good SAT score, and a decent shot at getting into a top college. I have so many things that many people want. I dont have the one thing I want. I want to fall in love with a girl and get married. Not now obviously. But I am thinking maybe ( Read more... )

What up? This is Dizzle. HCO is tight. The people who work there are strait. Adam is cool. Never stops sayin every girl he sees is hot-but still cool. Brady is entertaining. Dillon actually isnt that bad anymore- at least we have some common interests like boarding and surfing. He broke his wrist by the way... reminds me of Jay. Jeff is... well ( Read more... )

I finally talked to the guy I've held a grudge against for the past three years. He doesnt seem to be mad at me- which is definitely good. It was a good sense of closure since I think I may never see/ talk to him again as we are all going to college this coming year. I was glad that we finally talked. I dont feel mad at him anymore, in fact I am ( Read more... )

I screwed up. I think my stupidity has overtaken my decision making process. I feel awful. Being involved in the college party scene seems glamorous and is. At first that is. Then it hits you hard. It sucks. It's gotten to the point where I am drinking at least 4 times a month or so. That is not good. I like being more social and not caring what ( Read more... )