To Please The Monster Inside [Carlisle/Jasper][Chapter 31]
Title: To Please The Monster Inside [Chapter 31]
Pairing: Carlisle/Jasper, Jasper/James
Rating: M
Disclaimer: Characters owned by Stephenie Meyer.
Summary: The monster inside Jasper lusts for human blood. When the desire is too strong to resist, there is only one who can help. Carlisle tamed this monster once, and now he must try again.
He was weighed down completely by anticipation and terror as he walked through the trees toward his home, James very close behind.
They were all waiting for him at the foot of the stairs. Of course they knew he was coming, Alice would have seen it and Edward would have heard his thoughts as soon as he was close enough. That meant they knew James would be with him.
Jasper caught Carlisle’s scent, his hands began to tremble.
He could see the doctor clearly, his silver blond hair shining in the dull morning light.
Jasper and James stopped a few feet away from the Cullen family. The empath felt James’s anxiety and did his best to help him relax.
He wanted to speak, to say hello and sorry and a million other things, but as soon as he tried he realized he couldn’t say anything at all. He just stared at Carlisle, and Carlisle stared back.
Esme was the first to talk, stepping forward with open arms and a weary sadness in her eyes. “Welcome home, darling.” Her voice was thick with emotion.
Clearing his throat, Jasper said, “Hello Esme.”
Esme glanced back at the others for a second before rushing forward to embrace her son. “Oh, honey, I’m so glad you came back. I’ve missed you so much… so much. Oh, I love you, Jasper.”
“I… love you, too.”
The whole time Jasper’s eyes never left the doctor. He felt gut-wrenching shame as Carlisle’s honey-gold gaze drowned him.
Esme let him go, stepping away to look at James. “Hello there, James.” She said softly.
Jasper heard the hunter inhale as tension rolled out of his body. “Hi…”
“Why don’t we go inside.” It was Edward.
Jasper pulled his gaze away from the doctor to look at his brother. He could see, just from the glint in Edward’s eyes, that he felt betrayed.
Jasper bit his lip and took a few steps forward.
Slowly, all of the vampires headed inside.
~ ~ ~
Jasper and James sat together on one sofa, the Cullens on another. The empath sat cross-legged, clasped his hands together in his lap, knee slightly touching James's thigh.
It was difficult, given all of the massive emotions in the room, but Jasper did his best to produce the essence of calm.
Carlisle stared at him with a beautiful expression - so many feelings occupying his lovely face; pain, of course, and relief, nervousness and curiosity, the smallest touch of disappointment, and love.
Alice kept her eyes on the ground. Rosalie watched James with reproach. Emmett did the same.
Esme held Carlisle's hand, forcing a little smile which Jasper knew was for his sake.
Edward gazed straight ahead, probably staring at a wall or out of a window. His face was expressionless. But Jasper was surprised, and glad, to find that there was no great trace of anger coming from the mind-reader.
Someone had to break the silence, and all of the vampires were momentarily shocked when James was the one to do it.
"Thank you," He said quietly, "For letting me into your home. I want to make it clear that I do not mean harm to any of you. I understand your rules on feeding, and will not break them."
Jasper tried to smile, but something distracted him. Something in James's voice that he knew the others wouldn't recognize - a kind of wickedness poisoning the authenticity of his words. With narrowed eyes he turned to the hunter, watching his face. But it was blank, giving nothing away.
"That is very good to hear. But do tell me, James, why are you here?" Carlisle finally spoke.
"I am here because Jasper wants me to be."
Carlisle raised an eyebrow, confusion brightening his eyes. "Is that so?"
"Yes... I, uh, thought you could help him. You know, teach him our ways."
"Did you?" Carlisle's voice made Jasper nervous. Was he going to refuse? "Is this what you want, James? To learn our ways, become a part of this family?"
James turned to Jasper, questioning the empath with his eyes. "I don't know." He finally answered.
Jasper's breath hitched, he bit his bottom lip.
"You come all of this way for my son, and yet you do not know what you want? Forgive me for saying so, but that seems foolish, James."
The hunter nodded. "It does indeed. What I mean, really, is that Jasper and I had hoped you could... train me to control my thirst, not rid me of it completely."
"I don't understand."
"I have no wish to become a vegetarian, Carlisle. It is just not the life I want. But I do understand that my ways could be considered somewhat... cruel, monstrous. Jasper and I thought we may be able to form some sort of arrangement. You would teach me self-control, and when I needed to feed - from a human, that is - then Jasper would take me away from Forks to do so."
Jasper was unsure if Carlisle was considering what the hunter had said, or if he was simply speechless.
"Carlisle?" He asked cautiously. "What do you think?"
The doctor sighed loudly, and it was obvious that he was tired inside. "I think that I have missed you, Jasper. I think that I have wished for your return ever since your departure. I think I have spent every ounce of energy worrying and thinking about you, praying to God, asking him to keep you safe. And I think that now, you are back, and..." He trailed off, voice becoming a tiny whisper.
Esme wrapped an arm around her husband's shoulder. "This is a significant decision for Carlisle to make, and I don't think that right now is the time. We are just.. so glad to see you back, Jasper. Let us be happy that you have come home, and we will discuss this matter later. Do not think that we are dismissing you James, but you understand, I'm sure, that this is all so overwhelming?"
"Of course." James smiled politely.
~ ~ ~
Jasper and Carlisle sat alone on the porch steps. The doctor gazed up at the stars, the empath gazed at the doctor.
Jasper noticed, as he reached out to touch Carlisle's shoulder, that his hand was shaking. He pulled it back quickly.
"You can touch me, Jasper." Carlisle didn't look at him as he spoke.
Jasper swallowed and placed his hand on the doctor's forearm. "I am afraid, Carlisle."
"Of what?"
"That I've hurt you beyond what is forgivable. That I've already done too much."
"If you truly believe that, then you don't know me very well at all. I will love you until the end of my time."
"You shouldn't. I don't deserve your love."
"Well, it is my love to give, whether you deserve it or not. And I give it to you freely."
Jasper closed his eyes, clutching tightly to Carlisle's arm. "And you forgive me, for the things I've done?"
"I do not know what you have done, so there is nothing to forgive, I'm just glad that you are home."
"But, surely Alice saw me... Told you what I did?"
"I asked her not to."
"Why?"
"Because I do not want to know."
"But, Carlisle... I've been so terrible, so evil. I've killed many people, all of them innocent-"
"Don't, Jasper. I don't care."
"I killed a boy, Carlisle... a little boy, just a child... Drank from him, and he tasted so good-"
"I said don't! Please! I can't hear this. I do not want to know such things. You are home, Jasper, and that is all that matters to me."
Jasper bit his lip, shuffling closer and putting an arm around the older vampire. "Okay, I will never speak of these things to you."
"Thank you." Carlisle turned, placing a small kiss to Jasper's temple. "I never gave up on you, I need you to know that. I never really thought you were lost to us."
Warmth filled Jasper then, and he let it consume him. Lifting a hand to cup the doctor's pale face, Jasper brought their lips together, and Carlisle allowed it.
It wasn't really a kiss, just a touch, gentle and lingering. But it held promise.