To Please the Monster Inside [Carlisle/Jasper][Chapter Seventeen]
Title: To Please the Monster Inside [Chapter Seventeen]
Pairing: Carlisle/Jasper
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Fiction
Summary: The monster inside Jasper lusts for human blood. When the desire is too strong to resist, there is only one who can help. Carlisle tamed this monster once, and now he must try again.
Jasper’s head ached, throbbed and burned. At one point, he honestly believed it might explode.
He was focusing every possible ounce of strength he had toward controlling his hunger.
It tore at his gut, thrashing and climbing from deep inside. But he pushed it back down, and every time, he managed to bury it.
The girl beside him flicked her hair back over her shoulders. Her warm, spicy scent washed over the vampire.
Jasper held his breath, turning to glare at the brunette. Adrenaline surged beneath his skin as he thought of all the things he could do to her. Imagined the heat of her skin and the beat of her heart. Could taste her boiling blood on his tongue.
He gripped the edge of the desk so tight that the wood splintered beneath his fingers.
The girl turned toward the sound, her eyebrows drawing together in confusion as she watched the solid material crumble in Jasper's hands . “Oh my god… Are you okay?” She whispered.
“Fine.” Jasper spoke through gritted teeth, looking away in order to hide his darkened eyes.
Thirty seconds later, the vampire gathered his bag and books and rushed from the room.
He broke into a jog and didn’t stop until he was standing beside Edward’s Volvo, calling to the mind reader with his thoughts. Edward! I need your car. I have to get away from here!
Two minutes passed and then Edward pushed through the doors and rushed out to meet his brother. “Get in. I’ll drive you home.” His voice was rough.
“You don’t have to. I can drive myself. I’ll ask Esme to pick you up this afternoon.”
“Just get in the fucking car Jasper!”
And so he did.
Edward pulled out of the parking lot and raced home. He was silent the whole way. But the empath could feel his panic.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
The silver Volvo slowed to a stop outside the Cullen residence.
Both vampires climbed from the vehicle and slammed their doors.
Walking soundlessly up the porch steps, Edward opened the front door and moved inside, followed by Jasper.
“Do you need to hunt?” Edward asked.
Jasper considered the question. No, he thought. I don’t need to hunt animals. I need to get rid of this thing inside of me. I need to talk to Carlisle.
“He won’t be home for hours yet. I think I should take you hunting. It may be a good distraction.”
Jasper exhaled, giving in. “Alright. Let’s go.”
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
They ran. Hard, fast and silent. Reaching the mountains in under twenty minutes.
Jasper enjoyed the thrill of weaving through the forest, dodging trees. The fresh air felt good as he inhaled, his breathing steady despite their constant fast pace.
Jasper came to an elegant stop when he noticed Edward was no longer beside him. He turned and saw his brother crouched low to the ground, listening, waiting.
The empath crept toward him, not making a sound. He smelt the animal immediately, a musky odor overridden by the scent of its hot blood. Jasper growled, so softly only Edward’s ears could hear it.
“Mountain lion.” The mind reader said under his breath, turning to grin at his brother.
“Your favorite.” Jasper smirked.
And so they waited.
Exactly seventeen seconds passed.
Jasper heard the sound of paws treading through the moist dirt. Leaves crunching softly underfoot. The snap of a broken twig. The smell of blood grew strong. Overpowering. Seductive and warm.
His heart began to race, muscles tensed, black eyes staring straight ahead.
He felt Edward’s hunger build in his stomach, strengthening his own.
And suddenly, they were no longer brothers.
They were vampires. Two deadly predators, waiting to take their prey.
Edward snarled, lunging forward. His powerful limbs wrapped around the lions body, crushing the animals bones with perfect ease. A roar of agony, deafening and long, tore from the lion’s throat as it thrashed in Edward’s embrace.
The struggle continued for a matter of seconds before a loud, crunching sound echoed through the trees. Edward dropped the lion, its spinal cord broken.
Jasper watched the animal’s chest rise and fall with each shallow breath it drew. Its large, brawny body twitched and shuddered as Edward stepped back, offering his prey to his brother.
Jasper tilted his head to the side, watching Edward with curious eyes. “For me?” He asked quietly.
“You need it more than I do.” Edward said, taking two more steps back.
A low growl rumbled through Jasper’s chest. He stalked toward the helpless beast. It whimpered softly, watching the vampire approach through half-closed eyes.
Jasper fell to his hands and knees beside the lion. Breathing in long and deep, he inhaled the scent of its blood. Caressing its side with his fingers, the vampire leaned in and pressed his lips against the animals fur covered throat.
His teeth sank into the heated body with ease. Thick, hot liquid gushed from the wound, pouring down his throat. The blood felt good on his tongue, against his cold lips. But it wasn’t enough.
And though he continued to feed, Jasper’s only thought was, This tastes fucking disgusting!
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
They didn’t rush their way home.
Jasper removed his jacket and shirt, enjoying the cool air on his skin.
He felt better than he had before. Not satisfied. But better. He was able to concentrate.
“Thanks, Edward. For doing this.”
Edward looked at his brother, eyebrows raised. “You don’t have to thank me.”
“But I am.”
“You are.” Edward nodded.
There was a short silence.
“We need to talk, Edward.”
“I know.” The mind reader sighed.
“And I think now would be a good time. If you don’t mind?”
“Of course I don't.”
“Okay, well… I don’t even know where to begin.” Jasper looked over at his brother, so many questions in his eyes.
“How about we start with the catalyst?”
Jasper swallowed. “Alright. Ask me anything, and I promise I’ll answer.”
“Well, we both know that this… attraction… has lingered in the back of your mind for decades. It was an instant thing, uncontrollable and obviously lasting. You’ve wanted Carlisle since you met him. I’ve always known that. And I was able to live with it because, as I got to know you, I grew to love you. I learnt to trust you. And I believed that you would never act upon your desires. I need to know why you’ve done that now. Why, after so long, have you given in to temptation?”
“I don’t know… I’m sorry. Your first question, and I can’t even answer it.”
“Then explain what you mean. Why don’t you know?”
“Because it is… bizarre. It came out of nowhere, really. I mean, I had felt my hunger growing. Making itself known, becoming powerful. I was worried, but didn’t think much of it at first. And then Alice had a vision. She told me she had seen me killing humans… drinking from them, leaving their dead bodies lying on the streets. So I went to Carlisle. He told me if there was nothing I could do to resist, then I would have to leave. But he suggested a second option. Something we’d never really spoken of since it happened so long ago. He offered to let me feed from him, again. He was confident it would help, because it had done so in the past.” Jasper watched Edward’s face through wide, anxious eyes.
“I already know about that. I heard it in Esme’s mind, the night that you told her the whole story. But… I don’t see how its possible for none of us to have known. How could you have drunk from the leader of our clan, and keep it a secret for so, so long?”
“Carlisle and I agreed that we wouldn’t tell anyone. Agreed that none of you needed to know. And so, we didn’t even speak of it to each other. We didn’t think about it, because of your power. We both pushed the memory of the event to the back of our minds, until it was not even so much as a lingering thought. It was there, but it was forgotten.”
“Okay. That makes sense.” Edward stopped walking, then began to climb a massive, moss-covered tree. “Come on.” He called to Jasper, continuing to climb from one branch to another, until he reached the top.
“What are you doing?”
“Enjoying the view.” Edward sighed. “Hurry up. I have much more to ask.”
Shaking his head and mumbling beneath his breath, the empath climbed the tree to sit on a branch beside his brother.
“I need you to explain something else to me.” Edward said quietly, crossing his legs.
“Yes?”
“Just… your bloodlust, and its connection to Carlisle. I heard him talking about it with Emmett and Rosalie, so I get the basic process of the whole thing. And I know of Carlisle’s theory, about the sex and the feeding - and how they could be linked. But… I need to hear it all from you. I need to hear your explanation.”
Taking a very deep breath, Jasper closed his eyes, leaning his head against the body of the tree. “I can try, Edward. I don’t know how to explain. But I can try.”
“Then what are you waiting for?”
Releasing the air from his lungs, the empath surrounded himself with calm, pushing the emotion toward Edward, soothing and relaxing him. “Its much like a drug. Entirely consuming as it moves through my body. It is lust, both for Carlisle and for the thought of feeding from him. You have to understand, Edward, that its not truly about the blood. But then, it wouldn’t be the same without it, either. The blood alone, cold and from an animal, would be so unsatisfying - not even worth a taste. But, for some reason which I don’t think even Carlisle himself could explain, as soon as that first drop hits my tongue, it becomes the most irresistible thing in my mind. My body feels nothing but hunger and the desire to mould myself to Carlisle. To be closer, to take more. You see, I believe it is the connection that truly feeds my hunger. The blood infuses our bodies. It is like drinking passion, sucking pure seduction from his veins. It is bliss beyond comprehension. I don’t know how else to explain it to you.”
Edward sat, eyebrows raised, staring at the empath. The pace of his breathing had slightly increased, his lips unconsciously parted. “No, no… that was… unnecessarily precise. Believe me when I say I know how you feel.”
Realizing that he had accidentally projected the desires of which he spoke onto his brother, the empath became thankful for his inability to blush. “Sorry.” He muttered, not making eye contact.
“Its okay. But really… its that good?”
“Yes. Better, even.”
“There is still one thing I’m unsure of. Though I think, perhaps, this is a question best suited to Carlisle.”
“Ask me anyway.”
“I only wonder, if what he says about this link, this sex and feeding thing, if it is true… why have we never heard of it before? I mean, are there no others who have experienced it?”
“Maybe not. Maybe I am the first to do this.”
“Then why Carlisle? Why not drink from Alice?”
“I don’t know, Edward! I told you, I don’t know why. My bloodlust is drawn to him. I want him. My body wants Carlisle. And, I mean, I’ve never tried to feed from Alice. I guess that if I did, I would probably feel something just as incredible. But I don’t want that from her. Its as I said, my hunger wants Carlisle. I can’t change that, and I don’t know why it is.”
“I think the answer to that is very simple. Because you got a small taste of it, of him, all those decades ago, when your hunger was at its peak. You were new to this vegetarian routine. Your body hadn’t adjusted. You met Carlisle, and you were attracted to him. You went hunting, smelt a human and your hunger flared. But instead of a human, you tasted Carlisle, and he let you take what you needed. He satisfied your hunger then, so you are naturally drawn to him now.”
Neither vampire spoke for some time. Edward stared out across the mountains. Jasper remained completely still, eyes closed.
Jasper was the one to break the silence. “Can I ask you something now, Edward?”
The mind reader nodded. “Whatever you like.”
“Why are you jealous, of me?”
Edward blinked, but otherwise, there was no reaction. Not even his emotions betrayed him. “I worry that you will hurt Carlisle. That one time, you won’t be able to stop, and it will end badly. And I fear the pain this will cause Esme and Alice. Neither one of them deserve a broken heart.”
“Those are reasons why you are angry, Edward. I asked you, why are you jealous?”
“Because… Carlisle was mine. It was just us. And even when he made Esme, he still had room for me. And Rosalie, and Emmett, they kept to themselves. But then Alice brought you here. And I could see Carlisle was drawn to you. Not in the same was you’re drawn to him, of course. But he felt he was needed, because of your weakness to human blood. It was greater than any other vampire he had encountered. And so he felt it was his profound responsibility, his purpose, to teach you all that he knew. He worried about you, and you were always in his thoughts. I knew that he still loved me to no end, but there was little room left when he was so consumed by his need to help you. And then, when he started working at the hospital, I barely ever saw him at all. We weren’t as close as we should have been, and I didn’t know who to blame for that - so I blamed you, because I knew your thoughts. And I knew your powers, and I managed to convince myself that you must have been using them to influence Carlisle. I became excessively jealous, but I never let you know this. I hid it behind anger. As I have continued doing, until these past few days.”
“And you’re jealousy has begun to surface now, because it has become too strong for you to hide?”
“Yes.”
“And that’s my fault, isn’t it? You’re jealous that I am consuming Carlisle’s thoughts?”
“Yes.”
“But, he has made time for you, Edward. He made a point of speaking to you when you were upset. Took the time to let you explain your anger. And you went hunting with him last night, when he was weak.”
Jasper swiveled his body so he could watch Edward’s face. He sent a wave of calm toward his brother. Reaching out a hand, he placed it on the mind reader’s shoulder. “Carlisle will never forget you, Edward. There is not a thing in this world which could make him do that.”