i am scared. i don't understand anything. i don't know what i need to come back down to earth. i've just been stuck in this existential pit all weekend and i want it to stop. i want to connect. i feel like i am alienated from all of my surroundings, every idea that i have, my own body even. will i ever be normal again? i just want the idea ( Read more... )

i am alone right now. i am also loney. molly was wearing sea green sweater over purple shirt on friday night. i called her a cunt twice and made her laugh. she doesn't like to be called cute. cute litte fucker. i just started wondering if the language so far will i forgot what i was typing and i will look back to the beginning of the sentence ( Read more... )

i am going to start swimming again tomorrow.

there. i've committed it to written word. now i can't back out.

i'm tired of being...what's the word??? maybe just somewhere that i don't want to be. i often feel like i would much prefer to be in a different situation than the one in which i am. i don't know if it's a case of "the grass is always greener" or what, but i am tired. why must we feel at any point in our brief lives that we cannot say what we ( Read more... )

I'm not called to rehearsal tonight...and I'm sure that'll be the first and last time I'll have that luxury. It's going pretty well so far but the director has, as Amanda puts it, "three screws loose." He's good fun though. That said, I miss Louis ( Read more... )

( i like kissing )

Three Streamers performances down. One to go. No sweat ( Read more... )

( Read more... )

I've decided that I'm going to direct a show in the fall. And it is going to be awesome ( Read more... )

So here's the thing. Over the past couple of weeks I've really felt like shit. I don't like it at all. It's bollocks. I feel like my body, mind, and soul are all sick for some reason, and I don't know how to fix it. I suppose I could go to the doctor or something but who likes that really? I've been very moody and unmotivated as well. And my ( Read more... )