Jell-O Shots (gen) PG
I'm all about pleasing winterfish today. This is... not exactly Samfic, but it's a Sam/Team snippet that I hope makes her smile. Rather silly, but that's how I roll sometimes.
Jell-O Shots
By Jennghis Kahn
Pairing: None
Rating: PG
Category: Humor
Spoilers: None
**
Just a little Sam/Team fic for Winterfish since I promised her some Samfic. Sort of silly and not much substance, but I think it’s entertaining. Besides… you know it’s true that Sam would be a horrible bluffer.
***
She should have remembered what she had in her refrigerator when Jack got up to get them all another round of beers. She should have, but she was in a showdown with Daniel right then and he was peering at her over the top of his cards with sullen lips and assessing eyes that always reminded her of why he had a girl on every planet. Her own cards were crap. A queen and a seven that she was trying to make play. The problem was that she was total shit at bluffing. The only reason she was still in this hand was that it was Daniel across from her and not the Colonel, who could read her like a book and rip her bluffs apart in the same way she could rip a naquadah generator apart and put it back together again.
“You’re bluffing…” Daniel said suspiciously, his lower lip pulling down into a shallow frown as his eyes narrowed even more. His voice wasn’t so sure though.
She could count cards and figure the averages in her head, but it didn’t amount to anything unless she could bluff. She widened her eyes and let her lips drop open just slightly, watching his gaze shift down to the small movement and then back up.
“Bluffing? Me?” Oh damn. She’d put a little TOO much innocence in that.
Daniel suddenly grinned and shoved his pile of nickels into the pot. “I call.” He laid down a pair of aces.
“Damn, damn, damn!” Sam threw her cards down and glared at him.
“You’re a horrible liar.” He teased as he leaned in and raked the pile of coins into his arms.
“I am not.” She glanced away from him.
“Indeed you are, Major Carter.” Teal’c began gathering the playing cards from the table, his countenance serious as he looked at the woman next to him.
“Thanks a lot.” She muttered, glancing at both of them. “I’ll remember that next time you want me to play the team’s submissive pet female on some archaic patriarchal world.”
“Carter?” Jack’s voice drifted out from her kitchen to where they sat in her living room around the coffee table.
“Yes sir?” They’d both given up long ago on trying to eliminate the ‘sir’ while off-duty.
“Are these what I think they are… in your refrigerator?”
She froze. Ahhh, shit. Daniel and Teal’c both looked at her. “Ahmmm… yes sir.”
“Are these… Jell-O shots, Carter?”
She winced, knowing what was coming. “Yes sir.” She sighed.
“You… made Jell-O shots?”
“Yes sir.”
Teal’c’s eyebrow shot up immediately, his eyes narrowing and focusing in on her. Daniel jumped in and saved her.
“It’s alcohol mixed with Jell-O then allowed to set. So you get a little ‘shot’ of alcohol in the Jell-O. See?”
Teal’c said nothing, but his mouth turned down and his eyebrow went higher. Still, it was better than when she’d had to explain a “dead-man’s hand” in poker to him.
You see, it’s not really a human hand, Teal’c. They call it that because of this old American legend about Doc Holiday. What? Oh, um. Well, see, he wasn’t really a Doctor, per se…
“Carter?” The colonel wasn’t finished with her yet.
“Yes sir?” Sam let her head fall onto her elbows on the table. She exhaled heavily, hearing Daniel’s amused snort.
“Why… did you make Jell-O shots?”
“Because Janet wanted them for a bachelorette party last night and I had leftovers.” Her answer was muffled against the table and her sleeves.
“What?” Jack’s voice was sharp.
“Janet made her!” Daniel shouted back towards the kitchen door.
There was a low, unclear muttering from the kitchen, which could have been any number of colorful phrases Jack had for Doctor Fraiser.
“O’Neill! I wish to see these Jell-O shots.” Teal’c barked.
“Good, because I’m bringing them all out.” O’Neill appeared in the doorway with a shallow baking pan filled with small white cups of colorful Jell-O shots. Sam raised her head to watch him while he set it down in the middle of the table. He eyed the pile of nickels in front of Daniel. “Did he beat you again?”
Sam ignored that question. “What are you doing with all of those?”
Jack looked around at them as he eased himself and his knees down into a sitting position on the floor between Sam and Daniel. “What do you think? We’re going to play poker.”
Sam and Teal’c both looked at him skeptically. Daniel eyed the tray with interest.
“Five card stud. Winner gets to pick their shot.” Jack stated.
“They really don’t have all that much alcohol in them, sir. There’s a careful balance between the alcohol and the gelatin. Too much alcohol and the gelatin won’t set right, so I had to carefully compute and measure out…”
“Carter!” Jack barked. His brown eyes bored into hers. “Fun, remember? Stop with the… thinking.”
“Sorry sir.” She shot him a wry look and then glanced at Daniel. “Daniel’s already had one beer. Are you sure you want to feed him more alcohol?”
Daniel shot her a sarcastic smile. “Ha. Ha.”
Jack’s eyes slid from one to the other. “Hey. I know you’re both a couple of lightweights, but you can handle some vodka in Jell-O. For cryin’ out loud.”
Teal’c picked up one of the cups and eyed it, unimpressed. “There is barely a spoonful of Jell-O here.”
Sam glanced at him. “That’s because it’s a shot, Teal’c. You’re supposed to swallow the whole thing in one mouthful. Here…” She took the cup from his fingers and eased the paper sides away from the Jell-O inside. When it was loose, she lifted it to her mouth and sucked the Jell-O out, swallowing it with a smack and licking the remaining sugar from her lips. She grinned at him. “See?”
He lifted one brow, giving a non-committal grunt. He looked unimpressed.
“It’s really more of a party type thing,” she mumbled, disappointed.
“What did you guys do last night?” Daniel asked as Jack began dealing out a game of 5-card stud. “Male strippers? Body shots? Jell-O wrestling?”
Jack hesitated in his dealing and raised an eyebrow at her. Sam grimaced. “Um, we just got together at Janet’s house.” She squirmed a bit uneasily. “Nothing wild.”
“You are SO lying,” Jack accused, a glint in his eye.
“I am not!” Sam tried to keep a straight face, as she looked him in the eye.
His amused expression told her he hadn’t bought it.
“Your society seems abnormally obsessed with gelatin,” Teal’c stated, frowning at each of them in turn.
Jack glanced at him, eyeing him up and down. “At least we don’t wear eye-shadow and tights.”
Daniel looked thoughtful. “Well, that’s not completely true…”
“Daniel. I’m talking about us! Us! Right here.” Jack made a motion indicating SG-1. He finished dealing.
“I seem to remember a little planet called PTX-235 where you…”
“I RAISE!” Jack boomed, interrupting him. He slapped two dollars down in the middle of the table.
Sam snorted, quickly glancing away when Jack turned indignant eyes on her. They all met his raise and then turned in their rejected cards for replacements.
Sam stared down at the 4 aces in her hand. She bit the inside of her lip trying to control her nerves. She tried to move casually and sipped her beer while she waited for the boys to glance at their cards.
Calm, calm… easy now. Just act natural. No tells. They’ll never know.
Jack glanced up at her. “Carter, you start us off.”
Sam pretended to study her cards. She sighed as if she had nothing special. When she looked up the guys were all regarding her closely. Easy…
“Hmmmm…” She took another swig from her beer and then threw a five dollar bill in the pot. “I guess I’ll raise.” She glanced up at them again and smiled non-chalantly.
The men stared at her, and then, in perfect unison, they all slid their cards into the center of the table.
“Fold!”
Sam slapped her cards down. “Damn, damn, damn!”
Jack grinned at her. “Give it up, Carter. You just can’t bluff. Here…” He picked up the tray. “Have a Jell-O shot.”
“Stupid team nights,” Sam groused, but she took a Jell-O shot anyway.
~end~
Hee?
Jell-O Shots
By Jennghis Kahn
Pairing: None
Rating: PG
Category: Humor
Spoilers: None
**
Just a little Sam/Team fic for Winterfish since I promised her some Samfic. Sort of silly and not much substance, but I think it’s entertaining. Besides… you know it’s true that Sam would be a horrible bluffer.
***
She should have remembered what she had in her refrigerator when Jack got up to get them all another round of beers. She should have, but she was in a showdown with Daniel right then and he was peering at her over the top of his cards with sullen lips and assessing eyes that always reminded her of why he had a girl on every planet. Her own cards were crap. A queen and a seven that she was trying to make play. The problem was that she was total shit at bluffing. The only reason she was still in this hand was that it was Daniel across from her and not the Colonel, who could read her like a book and rip her bluffs apart in the same way she could rip a naquadah generator apart and put it back together again.
“You’re bluffing…” Daniel said suspiciously, his lower lip pulling down into a shallow frown as his eyes narrowed even more. His voice wasn’t so sure though.
She could count cards and figure the averages in her head, but it didn’t amount to anything unless she could bluff. She widened her eyes and let her lips drop open just slightly, watching his gaze shift down to the small movement and then back up.
“Bluffing? Me?” Oh damn. She’d put a little TOO much innocence in that.
Daniel suddenly grinned and shoved his pile of nickels into the pot. “I call.” He laid down a pair of aces.
“Damn, damn, damn!” Sam threw her cards down and glared at him.
“You’re a horrible liar.” He teased as he leaned in and raked the pile of coins into his arms.
“I am not.” She glanced away from him.
“Indeed you are, Major Carter.” Teal’c began gathering the playing cards from the table, his countenance serious as he looked at the woman next to him.
“Thanks a lot.” She muttered, glancing at both of them. “I’ll remember that next time you want me to play the team’s submissive pet female on some archaic patriarchal world.”
“Carter?” Jack’s voice drifted out from her kitchen to where they sat in her living room around the coffee table.
“Yes sir?” They’d both given up long ago on trying to eliminate the ‘sir’ while off-duty.
“Are these what I think they are… in your refrigerator?”
She froze. Ahhh, shit. Daniel and Teal’c both looked at her. “Ahmmm… yes sir.”
“Are these… Jell-O shots, Carter?”
She winced, knowing what was coming. “Yes sir.” She sighed.
“You… made Jell-O shots?”
“Yes sir.”
Teal’c’s eyebrow shot up immediately, his eyes narrowing and focusing in on her. Daniel jumped in and saved her.
“It’s alcohol mixed with Jell-O then allowed to set. So you get a little ‘shot’ of alcohol in the Jell-O. See?”
Teal’c said nothing, but his mouth turned down and his eyebrow went higher. Still, it was better than when she’d had to explain a “dead-man’s hand” in poker to him.
You see, it’s not really a human hand, Teal’c. They call it that because of this old American legend about Doc Holiday. What? Oh, um. Well, see, he wasn’t really a Doctor, per se…
“Carter?” The colonel wasn’t finished with her yet.
“Yes sir?” Sam let her head fall onto her elbows on the table. She exhaled heavily, hearing Daniel’s amused snort.
“Why… did you make Jell-O shots?”
“Because Janet wanted them for a bachelorette party last night and I had leftovers.” Her answer was muffled against the table and her sleeves.
“What?” Jack’s voice was sharp.
“Janet made her!” Daniel shouted back towards the kitchen door.
There was a low, unclear muttering from the kitchen, which could have been any number of colorful phrases Jack had for Doctor Fraiser.
“O’Neill! I wish to see these Jell-O shots.” Teal’c barked.
“Good, because I’m bringing them all out.” O’Neill appeared in the doorway with a shallow baking pan filled with small white cups of colorful Jell-O shots. Sam raised her head to watch him while he set it down in the middle of the table. He eyed the pile of nickels in front of Daniel. “Did he beat you again?”
Sam ignored that question. “What are you doing with all of those?”
Jack looked around at them as he eased himself and his knees down into a sitting position on the floor between Sam and Daniel. “What do you think? We’re going to play poker.”
Sam and Teal’c both looked at him skeptically. Daniel eyed the tray with interest.
“Five card stud. Winner gets to pick their shot.” Jack stated.
“They really don’t have all that much alcohol in them, sir. There’s a careful balance between the alcohol and the gelatin. Too much alcohol and the gelatin won’t set right, so I had to carefully compute and measure out…”
“Carter!” Jack barked. His brown eyes bored into hers. “Fun, remember? Stop with the… thinking.”
“Sorry sir.” She shot him a wry look and then glanced at Daniel. “Daniel’s already had one beer. Are you sure you want to feed him more alcohol?”
Daniel shot her a sarcastic smile. “Ha. Ha.”
Jack’s eyes slid from one to the other. “Hey. I know you’re both a couple of lightweights, but you can handle some vodka in Jell-O. For cryin’ out loud.”
Teal’c picked up one of the cups and eyed it, unimpressed. “There is barely a spoonful of Jell-O here.”
Sam glanced at him. “That’s because it’s a shot, Teal’c. You’re supposed to swallow the whole thing in one mouthful. Here…” She took the cup from his fingers and eased the paper sides away from the Jell-O inside. When it was loose, she lifted it to her mouth and sucked the Jell-O out, swallowing it with a smack and licking the remaining sugar from her lips. She grinned at him. “See?”
He lifted one brow, giving a non-committal grunt. He looked unimpressed.
“It’s really more of a party type thing,” she mumbled, disappointed.
“What did you guys do last night?” Daniel asked as Jack began dealing out a game of 5-card stud. “Male strippers? Body shots? Jell-O wrestling?”
Jack hesitated in his dealing and raised an eyebrow at her. Sam grimaced. “Um, we just got together at Janet’s house.” She squirmed a bit uneasily. “Nothing wild.”
“You are SO lying,” Jack accused, a glint in his eye.
“I am not!” Sam tried to keep a straight face, as she looked him in the eye.
His amused expression told her he hadn’t bought it.
“Your society seems abnormally obsessed with gelatin,” Teal’c stated, frowning at each of them in turn.
Jack glanced at him, eyeing him up and down. “At least we don’t wear eye-shadow and tights.”
Daniel looked thoughtful. “Well, that’s not completely true…”
“Daniel. I’m talking about us! Us! Right here.” Jack made a motion indicating SG-1. He finished dealing.
“I seem to remember a little planet called PTX-235 where you…”
“I RAISE!” Jack boomed, interrupting him. He slapped two dollars down in the middle of the table.
Sam snorted, quickly glancing away when Jack turned indignant eyes on her. They all met his raise and then turned in their rejected cards for replacements.
Sam stared down at the 4 aces in her hand. She bit the inside of her lip trying to control her nerves. She tried to move casually and sipped her beer while she waited for the boys to glance at their cards.
Calm, calm… easy now. Just act natural. No tells. They’ll never know.
Jack glanced up at her. “Carter, you start us off.”
Sam pretended to study her cards. She sighed as if she had nothing special. When she looked up the guys were all regarding her closely. Easy…
“Hmmmm…” She took another swig from her beer and then threw a five dollar bill in the pot. “I guess I’ll raise.” She glanced up at them again and smiled non-chalantly.
The men stared at her, and then, in perfect unison, they all slid their cards into the center of the table.
“Fold!”
Sam slapped her cards down. “Damn, damn, damn!”
Jack grinned at her. “Give it up, Carter. You just can’t bluff. Here…” He picked up the tray. “Have a Jell-O shot.”
“Stupid team nights,” Sam groused, but she took a Jell-O shot anyway.
~end~
Hee?