(no subject)
A few weeks ago, I mentioned to L that I find it surprising how people respond to me when I mentioned my personal issues to them. I find that some people, whom I consider really good friends, just don't know how to respond appropriately. In retrospect, I find it funny, but at that time, I was totally disappointed by their response (or lack of).
People responses varies. One gave me the "deer in the headlights" look and at that moment, all I can think of is that I should find the big red button and go for the reboot. Another, whom I was texting with, responded to me, then fell sleep in the middle of the conversation. I would have thought that these friends of mine, would have at least pretend to be interested in my problems.
L offered two reasons why this probably happened to me. The first is that I appear to most people as very independent, self-supporting, and got my shit together. So when when I bring something emotional to my friends, they just don't know how to respond as there is just no precedence on this.
The second (which I find more interesting) is that she believes that people who are younger and uses technology frequently just lacks the ability to communicate effectively. There's something about the technology getting in the way of socializing and showing emotions. As in most text and IM, the communication tend to be shallow and pleasant. When something deeper needs to be discussed, the technology fails totally.
I would take this a step further to say that people who uses technology as their primary means of communication lacked the social skills to communicate. So if you are used to using technology (esp using text and IM) as your primary means of communication, when a deep discussion is needed, they just can't respond appropriately. They are just not socialized enough to do so.
I find this to be generally true for people in their 20s and 30s where text messaging is so pervasive. Americans, compared to other cultures, has always had a wide range of friends, but relatively shallow relationships with all of them. In contrast, Asians have very few friends, but they tend to be very deep. And I think technology exacerbates that even further. My running joke about MySpace is that I have a thousand friends that I don't know. Do these people really mean anything to me? Probably not.
People responses varies. One gave me the "deer in the headlights" look and at that moment, all I can think of is that I should find the big red button and go for the reboot. Another, whom I was texting with, responded to me, then fell sleep in the middle of the conversation. I would have thought that these friends of mine, would have at least pretend to be interested in my problems.
L offered two reasons why this probably happened to me. The first is that I appear to most people as very independent, self-supporting, and got my shit together. So when when I bring something emotional to my friends, they just don't know how to respond as there is just no precedence on this.
The second (which I find more interesting) is that she believes that people who are younger and uses technology frequently just lacks the ability to communicate effectively. There's something about the technology getting in the way of socializing and showing emotions. As in most text and IM, the communication tend to be shallow and pleasant. When something deeper needs to be discussed, the technology fails totally.
I would take this a step further to say that people who uses technology as their primary means of communication lacked the social skills to communicate. So if you are used to using technology (esp using text and IM) as your primary means of communication, when a deep discussion is needed, they just can't respond appropriately. They are just not socialized enough to do so.
I find this to be generally true for people in their 20s and 30s where text messaging is so pervasive. Americans, compared to other cultures, has always had a wide range of friends, but relatively shallow relationships with all of them. In contrast, Asians have very few friends, but they tend to be very deep. And I think technology exacerbates that even further. My running joke about MySpace is that I have a thousand friends that I don't know. Do these people really mean anything to me? Probably not.