54. future unknown: where have you been?
54.
where have you been?
under the bright lights, i want you
cook/archulta (1632 words)
I am so sorry this took so long! Other stuff just stole my attention (stupid ST fandom) and I had Big Bang and charity fics, but those are just excuses. I am so sorry for how late this is, and hope everyone forgives me. As usual, this is for my sweet, sweet Natalie. ♥ All other parts can be found here in case you've totally forgotten what this was even about, haha.
PREVIOUSLY:
David remembers one morning
(sitting on the couch with a book and a glass of orange juice perched on the table next to him, and Cook on the other end of the couch, watching the muted television while his fingers absently strummed his acoustic. The closed captions had been on, and Cook was mouthing along with the words to some commercial absently, like they were lyrics, and David forgot all about his book watching him. The sunlight was piercing their windows and shone through to highlight the apartment, but nothing was as bright as Cook, slumped easily on his end of the couch, his hair lit up and his eyes sleepy and dark. David had swallowed--)
and he'd thought, this is perfect.
Kissing Cook changes his mind entirely.
THIS WEEK:
His heart is pounding and it's been several hours already. His room is dark and unfamiliar, and he's not sure what he should do. Kissing Cook was -- kissing Cook had been like --
He burrows into his covers and curls himself around the rising excitement in his chest. It's all encompassing, and it's like a balloon is inflating in his stomach, and it keeps rising and rising until he feels like he could fit perfectly in a musical, because all he wants to do is sing about how happy he is, although, how lame would that be?
So he seals his lips and thinks about it, ignoring that it's 3:30 in the morning. If it wasn't so early he might've called Jared, just because he really, really wants to talk to someone about this (Carly is another choice, but she'd be more scary about being woken up than Jared, and also, she might giggle and say stuff like "I knew it!" because Carly pretends she knows everything) but he just tosses and turns and thinks.
And it's like -- why had Cook decided that was the best moment to kiss him?
Carly telling him about Cook being -- well, being like him wasn't totally surprising. David had had some idea already, but it felt rude to assume, and also kind of like hopeful thinking. And it kind of hurt that after he'd gone and told Cook, Cook hadn't returned the gesture. Didn't he realize how scary it was, and how much it would've calmed him down to know that Cook wouldn't judge because Cook was in the same boat.
Stop thinking, David tells himself, but of course, he continues.
And it's just, was Cook kissing him out of some sort of obligation or apology? Was that something gay guys did? (He remembers Cook saying, "I've been wanting to do this for a while," but what is a while? Is it the years David has spent wanting Cook? Is it a day, an hour? He needs to stop thinking.)
And if it wasn't, if the kiss was real (his throat clenches remembering, and he needs sleep, he's got a meeting in the morning, oh my gosh) then where does that put them? What are they?
Boyfriends sounds childish, and also scares him a little. The word, it's so -- it's clear and defined and terrifying. David turns away from it and thinks maybe just, couple. That sounds better. But are they a couple? They'd parted and Cook had stared at him a moment and after a few moments of staring (David's throat closed off and his mouth opening and closing) he'd smiled at him and ushered him into his bedroom, heading to his own silently. There had been no words exchanged.
David realizes this is his fault, but what was he supposed to do when his crush of years had just -- had kissed him! Cook had kissed him.
But what does that mean?
David closes his eyes and pulls the covers over his head and ignores the ticking of his clock.
When he wakes up like three hours later, it's to Jared cheerfully knocking on his door. "Morning!" he says brightly, which is weird for Jared at six in the morning, "Time for your meeting, kiddo. Up and at 'em!"
He's in a good mood, which usually means loud, but today Jared has been quiet enough that when David casts a glance at Cook's door, it's closed and there's no movement from within. Jared ushers him out the door without letting him stop for a drink or anything promising him coffee on the way.
(David wonders if Cook stayed up all night thinking too.)
"What are you so happy about?" David asks later, trying not to sound petulant, and Jared beams, "Jensen woke me up, if you know what I mean," and he winks and nudges David and David blushes so hotly that his coffee tastes cool. Jared laughs, and the sound is like the sun, which is rising over the city in the distance, and David lets it wash over him until he calms down.
He falls asleep in the car on the way over, but Jared wakes him up and holds his coffee for him, the camera hoisted on his shoulder as he waits for David to crawl out of the car. People on the street glance his way, and sometimes recognize him, but it's early enough that no one begs for an autograph, which relieves him immensely. He doesn't think he could be David Archuleta, American Idol runner-up today. He just wants to get through this morning, and then maybe the afternoon, and if he's really lucky, tonight.
The meeting isn't some super top-secret one, so the executives allow Jared to film David talking to them, although probably most of the footage will go to some montage with David talking over it about how boring meetings are. Jared yawns at one point, jaw-crackingly loud, and several people look at him in mild annoyance, but it makes David smile.
He gets caught up in the meeting, in the luncheon afterward with one of the label execs he couldn't get out of, in visiting the recording studio to make sure everything is going okay regarding the track he'd just recorded (yes, and also, he's not due for another three days, calm down) and it's not until he says too casually that he kind of wants to go to a bookstore that he realizes he's avoiding going back to the apartment.
Jared looks at him calculatingly, and David can't look him in the eyes. Jared's eyes widen and he turns off his camera.
"Holy fuck," Jared says, "you totally kissed him."
"No," David evades, glad that the driver is rocking out to some song through the divider and probably doesn't care at all about what's happening back here.
"Don't lie to me, David James," Jared says sternly, and David feels the automatic pang of panic that his middle name brings and blurts, "He kissed me!"
"Oh my god, this is awesome," Jared laughs, slapping his knee. "Jensen is going to love this, fuck." He laughs a little bit more, and then realizes that David isn't exactly sharing in his excitement, and calms down, brow furrowing. "Hey, what's up? Shouldn't you be giggling or singing or something right now?"
David laughs a little, but it's not happy, and his voice catches on one exhale. "I don't know what's going on," he confesses, and Jared's brow clears and he leans forward. It's clearly a "go on, explain" posture, and so David says, "We just, um, after the movie last night he kissed me. In the kitchen. And then we went to our rooms and nothing happened and I don't know if that's normal or--"
"Dude," Jared interrupts, grinning a little, "even in gay land people have to be drunk for a kiss on the mouth to be accepted as just casual, unless you're one of those really flaming, touchy-feely people, which neither of you guys are." He makes a face. "Dammit, I used to kiss Jensen all the time before we got together, though."
And it has the effect Jared intended: David laughs for real, hiccuping in the middle, but it's real. Jared smiles softly and pats him on the shoulder. "Hey." David looks up, and Jared is smiling at him and so obviously happy and concerned for David and he thinks about how much he really, really loves Jared. "Just ask him." David opens his mouth to protest and Jared covers it with his huge hand, and continues with, "He took the first step and you left him hanging. If you really want to know what's going to happen, you gotta lay it out there. Be brave about this, David."
"This is your stop," the driver says cheerfully, and Jared takes his hand off of David's mouth and grins at him, taking his camera and opening the door. He holds it open for David, who feels fear gathering in his stomach. He cannot -- there is no way he can just talk to Cook about it. Because what if he says there was nothing about it that was important? What if it was just a friendly kiss, or what if Cook somehow was drunk and David cannot--
"You can," Jared says, and he's so sure of himself. David thinks of how happy Jensen makes Jared, of how much they really love each other, and he wants that. He wants to know what it feels like to love and be loved so unconditionally. So he steps into the dwindling sunlight, squares his shoulders, and goes to his apartment. Jared signals silently to Dean to clear out, and they leave together, Jared saluting David with a grin.
Cook is sitting on the couch, writing (doodling) on some sheet music, and when David nervously clears his throat, his head jerks around. "Archie," Cook says in surprise.
David stares straight at Cook and asks, clearly, "What do you feel for me?"
where have you been?
under the bright lights, i want you
cook/archulta (1632 words)
I am so sorry this took so long! Other stuff just stole my attention (stupid ST fandom) and I had Big Bang and charity fics, but those are just excuses. I am so sorry for how late this is, and hope everyone forgives me. As usual, this is for my sweet, sweet Natalie. ♥ All other parts can be found here in case you've totally forgotten what this was even about, haha.
PREVIOUSLY:
David remembers one morning
(sitting on the couch with a book and a glass of orange juice perched on the table next to him, and Cook on the other end of the couch, watching the muted television while his fingers absently strummed his acoustic. The closed captions had been on, and Cook was mouthing along with the words to some commercial absently, like they were lyrics, and David forgot all about his book watching him. The sunlight was piercing their windows and shone through to highlight the apartment, but nothing was as bright as Cook, slumped easily on his end of the couch, his hair lit up and his eyes sleepy and dark. David had swallowed--)
and he'd thought, this is perfect.
Kissing Cook changes his mind entirely.
THIS WEEK:
His heart is pounding and it's been several hours already. His room is dark and unfamiliar, and he's not sure what he should do. Kissing Cook was -- kissing Cook had been like --
He burrows into his covers and curls himself around the rising excitement in his chest. It's all encompassing, and it's like a balloon is inflating in his stomach, and it keeps rising and rising until he feels like he could fit perfectly in a musical, because all he wants to do is sing about how happy he is, although, how lame would that be?
So he seals his lips and thinks about it, ignoring that it's 3:30 in the morning. If it wasn't so early he might've called Jared, just because he really, really wants to talk to someone about this (Carly is another choice, but she'd be more scary about being woken up than Jared, and also, she might giggle and say stuff like "I knew it!" because Carly pretends she knows everything) but he just tosses and turns and thinks.
And it's like -- why had Cook decided that was the best moment to kiss him?
Carly telling him about Cook being -- well, being like him wasn't totally surprising. David had had some idea already, but it felt rude to assume, and also kind of like hopeful thinking. And it kind of hurt that after he'd gone and told Cook, Cook hadn't returned the gesture. Didn't he realize how scary it was, and how much it would've calmed him down to know that Cook wouldn't judge because Cook was in the same boat.
Stop thinking, David tells himself, but of course, he continues.
And it's just, was Cook kissing him out of some sort of obligation or apology? Was that something gay guys did? (He remembers Cook saying, "I've been wanting to do this for a while," but what is a while? Is it the years David has spent wanting Cook? Is it a day, an hour? He needs to stop thinking.)
And if it wasn't, if the kiss was real (his throat clenches remembering, and he needs sleep, he's got a meeting in the morning, oh my gosh) then where does that put them? What are they?
Boyfriends sounds childish, and also scares him a little. The word, it's so -- it's clear and defined and terrifying. David turns away from it and thinks maybe just, couple. That sounds better. But are they a couple? They'd parted and Cook had stared at him a moment and after a few moments of staring (David's throat closed off and his mouth opening and closing) he'd smiled at him and ushered him into his bedroom, heading to his own silently. There had been no words exchanged.
David realizes this is his fault, but what was he supposed to do when his crush of years had just -- had kissed him! Cook had kissed him.
But what does that mean?
David closes his eyes and pulls the covers over his head and ignores the ticking of his clock.
When he wakes up like three hours later, it's to Jared cheerfully knocking on his door. "Morning!" he says brightly, which is weird for Jared at six in the morning, "Time for your meeting, kiddo. Up and at 'em!"
He's in a good mood, which usually means loud, but today Jared has been quiet enough that when David casts a glance at Cook's door, it's closed and there's no movement from within. Jared ushers him out the door without letting him stop for a drink or anything promising him coffee on the way.
(David wonders if Cook stayed up all night thinking too.)
"What are you so happy about?" David asks later, trying not to sound petulant, and Jared beams, "Jensen woke me up, if you know what I mean," and he winks and nudges David and David blushes so hotly that his coffee tastes cool. Jared laughs, and the sound is like the sun, which is rising over the city in the distance, and David lets it wash over him until he calms down.
He falls asleep in the car on the way over, but Jared wakes him up and holds his coffee for him, the camera hoisted on his shoulder as he waits for David to crawl out of the car. People on the street glance his way, and sometimes recognize him, but it's early enough that no one begs for an autograph, which relieves him immensely. He doesn't think he could be David Archuleta, American Idol runner-up today. He just wants to get through this morning, and then maybe the afternoon, and if he's really lucky, tonight.
The meeting isn't some super top-secret one, so the executives allow Jared to film David talking to them, although probably most of the footage will go to some montage with David talking over it about how boring meetings are. Jared yawns at one point, jaw-crackingly loud, and several people look at him in mild annoyance, but it makes David smile.
He gets caught up in the meeting, in the luncheon afterward with one of the label execs he couldn't get out of, in visiting the recording studio to make sure everything is going okay regarding the track he'd just recorded (yes, and also, he's not due for another three days, calm down) and it's not until he says too casually that he kind of wants to go to a bookstore that he realizes he's avoiding going back to the apartment.
Jared looks at him calculatingly, and David can't look him in the eyes. Jared's eyes widen and he turns off his camera.
"Holy fuck," Jared says, "you totally kissed him."
"No," David evades, glad that the driver is rocking out to some song through the divider and probably doesn't care at all about what's happening back here.
"Don't lie to me, David James," Jared says sternly, and David feels the automatic pang of panic that his middle name brings and blurts, "He kissed me!"
"Oh my god, this is awesome," Jared laughs, slapping his knee. "Jensen is going to love this, fuck." He laughs a little bit more, and then realizes that David isn't exactly sharing in his excitement, and calms down, brow furrowing. "Hey, what's up? Shouldn't you be giggling or singing or something right now?"
David laughs a little, but it's not happy, and his voice catches on one exhale. "I don't know what's going on," he confesses, and Jared's brow clears and he leans forward. It's clearly a "go on, explain" posture, and so David says, "We just, um, after the movie last night he kissed me. In the kitchen. And then we went to our rooms and nothing happened and I don't know if that's normal or--"
"Dude," Jared interrupts, grinning a little, "even in gay land people have to be drunk for a kiss on the mouth to be accepted as just casual, unless you're one of those really flaming, touchy-feely people, which neither of you guys are." He makes a face. "Dammit, I used to kiss Jensen all the time before we got together, though."
And it has the effect Jared intended: David laughs for real, hiccuping in the middle, but it's real. Jared smiles softly and pats him on the shoulder. "Hey." David looks up, and Jared is smiling at him and so obviously happy and concerned for David and he thinks about how much he really, really loves Jared. "Just ask him." David opens his mouth to protest and Jared covers it with his huge hand, and continues with, "He took the first step and you left him hanging. If you really want to know what's going to happen, you gotta lay it out there. Be brave about this, David."
"This is your stop," the driver says cheerfully, and Jared takes his hand off of David's mouth and grins at him, taking his camera and opening the door. He holds it open for David, who feels fear gathering in his stomach. He cannot -- there is no way he can just talk to Cook about it. Because what if he says there was nothing about it that was important? What if it was just a friendly kiss, or what if Cook somehow was drunk and David cannot--
"You can," Jared says, and he's so sure of himself. David thinks of how happy Jensen makes Jared, of how much they really love each other, and he wants that. He wants to know what it feels like to love and be loved so unconditionally. So he steps into the dwindling sunlight, squares his shoulders, and goes to his apartment. Jared signals silently to Dean to clear out, and they leave together, Jared saluting David with a grin.
Cook is sitting on the couch, writing (doodling) on some sheet music, and when David nervously clears his throat, his head jerks around. "Archie," Cook says in surprise.
David stares straight at Cook and asks, clearly, "What do you feel for me?"