A Battle of Wills - Chapter 4

[susanjn]

‘This is wrong!’ a voice thundered in Marian’s ears as he nipped at one of her earlobes, before recapturing her mouth. But she didn’t object as he sucked on her bottom lip. Instead, Marian deepened the kiss.

‘Push him away!’ her mind told her as he scooped her up and held her against the wall. But she didn’t. Marian linked her ankles together behind his back and ran her fingers through his hair, yielding to his intense, desperate caresses.

‘Stop him!’ seemed to echo through the dusty room, as he pushed the coarse brown fabric up over her derrière. But she didn’t. Like always, the cocky words he crowed into Marian’s ear appealed to her rebellious spirit.

They broke apart for breath and it was then that she saw the look in his eyes. There was no ardent tenderness there. A look of arrogance marred his features as he yanked down his Saracen trousers. He possessively pushed the friar’s habit up her torso and rushed to untie the bottom stays with nimble fingers.

“We can’t do this, Robin,” she breathlessly told him, trying to shift her hips back, only to almost knock her head against the wall. “What if Guy goes back to the Inn earlier than you thought. He will be so worried about me and...”

He held his ground and planted kisses on her soft neck. “He’s busy.”

She did not like his tone and asked anxiously, “What have you done? Is he in danger?”

“That depends whether he can be trusted,” Robin said flippantly. “Now, where were we?”

“I want you to stop,” Marian said firmly, trying to use the wall for leverage to escape the embrace. “I’m married and...”

“Married?” Robin snorted, “Only on paper! I will never let our love die, Marian.”

“I promised the King. I swore oaths before God. This is not fair to Guy. He is to be rewarded for...”

“He’ll never want you once my seed has...”

“Stop!” Marian exclaimed. “I do not wish to dishonour Guy. He was very kind to me last night. Most nobles would have manhandled me and...”

“He is not ‘honourable’, Marian,” Robin objected. “He’s manipulating you! Look, if we do this... then we can have your marriage annulled. It was never consummated and you lay with another...with the man that you truly love...”

“But, duty forbids...”

“Duty? I’m always doing my duty. Now, I’m... due for something for a change. We’ll run away together,” Robin angled her hips back and kissed her hair. “We’ll go to...well, it doesn’t matter where. You’ll be my...”

“But what about the King?” Marian said. “What about seeing him safely home so that families like John’s, Sarah’s, Will’s and Much’s can live in peace? What about the gang?”

“Enough questions,” Robin muttered, knowing she was right and resenting it. “You are my love. I will not give up anything else to him. I should have fled with you yesterday and...”

“Put me down or I will knee you in the groin!” Marian said angrily.

Robin rolled his eyes and carefully stepped backwards. He reached out to make sure she did not fall but Marian shoved his hands away.

As she pulled the disguise back down, he noticed the layers of bandages around the top of Marian’s corset.

He suddenly grabbed her arm and yanked the fabric of the friar’s habit back up.

“Ow! You’re hurting me!” Marian elbowed him in the nose and pulled the outfit back over herself.

Robin cried out and then wiped at the blood gushing out of his nose with a shaking hand. “This...This is why you denied me? You are protecting Gisborne yet again!”

“What are you talking about?” Marian threw her hands up in the air in exasperation.

She regretted making him bleed and looked around the abandoned, burnt-out kitchen for a cloth.

“He has beaten you that badly!” Robin exploded, knotting the drawstring on his pants and then ripping a strip from his sleeve. He fumed as he held it against his nose. “He has hidden his brutality beneath your clothes; just like he would; the snake! And you still defend him?”

“What are...?” Marian started to ask again and then realisation dawned on her face. But before she could explain the situation to Robin, he had bolted for the door.

“Robin!” she shouted. Marian ran out into the street, but he was already gone - lost in the crowd of other men wearing long dark pants and linen shirts. “Well, this is just perfect,” Marian thought aloud.

It was her own fault that she was lost. She should have waited for Guy to return to the hotel room. She should never have let Robin talk her into fleeing.

Marian had not paid attention to any landmarks as they had run through the twisting, crowded streets. It had felt like old times. She was running away and not following the rules - her hand held by the man who had always made her heart flutter.

Now, she feared that Robin was going to vengefully attack Guy for injuries that did not even exist. Marian turned down an alley, looking at the wagons and trying to figure out which one might be headed to the harbour.

Suddenly, a stout Turkish man stumbled into her. Marian was about to ask him for directions to the docks, until he leered at her.

He grabbed her wrist and then placed a small copper coin in her hand.

“I don’t need this...” Marian said, thinking for a moment that he thought her a beggar.

He knew few words in English but “How much?” was a question he often asked the war widows who frequented this part of the outpost.

Marian looked down at the small coin, feeling repulsed by more than his vile breath.

“More?” he asked.

Marian smiled and took hold of his other hand. The second that he began to lead her towards one of the other hovels, she made her move. Marian twisted his arm behind his back and then flipped over him. She kicked him in the stomach and then ran.

Shocked and angry at being bested by the small woman, he pursued her.

“Thief!” he shouted, adding a string of other words in Arabic.

Marian handed the coin to the next hungry child she saw. She ran until she had a stitch in her side. Marian darted into a crowded marketplace and hid behind a fountain. She bent forward for a minute, rubbing away the ache in her side. It was then that she saw the man sneaking up on her from the left.

Marian grabbed the knife that Guy had secured to her ankle, ready to use it if she had to. She dodged a horseman and ran to the right.

The man yelled after her and other people in this part of the town took more notice. Marian struggled out of the grasp of a woman who berated her in what she thought was Greek.

Trying to find somewhere to hide, Marian scrambled up the next stairs she saw. Suddenly she was dragged into a doorway and a hand was quickly clamped over her mouth.

The door slammed shut and Marian pushed her feet against it, ready to spring backwards. The tall man held her firmly, his black leather glove pressed against her lips. She stopped resisting his efforts to hold her when she realised that it was Guy. Once she had calmed down, he loosened his grip on her.

“What are you doing here, Marian?” he murmured, turning her around and stroking her cheek. “Did that man hurt you? I could make out some of what he said and it sounded like...”

Marian had never seen so much concern creasing his face and she was stunned as she gazed into his intense, blue eyes. “I... I’m not going to lie to you. I...was running...”

Suddenly, someone pounded on the door and Guy held a finger against her lips. He pointed to a back room and she nodded. As soon as she was out of sight, he opened the door.

Marian ducked down behind the door, still trying to catch her breath. She peeked around the edge. Marian got ready to throw the knife at the detestable man who had propositioned her.

Instead, Guy welcomed his ‘contact’ into the war-damaged building. “Raello,” he nodded. “You weren’t followed?”

“Of course not,” the man replied in a thick French accent. “Why did you change the place and time of our meeting? Don’t you trust me after all these years?”

“Hood knew the other location,” Guy replied matter-of-factly. “Allan A Dale wished me well in travelling all the way out there!”

“How did they find out, Gisborne?” Raello asked, stroking his beard and raising an eyebrow.

“That’s what I’d like to know,” Guy spat, suddenly grabbing the other man by the collar and shoving him up against the door.

Raello laughed, “Gisborne, Gisborne, always so hard to fool, well, unless a woman is involved. Then you are a gullible...”

Marian could see that Guy’s temper was reaching boiling point.

He yanked down Raello’s sleeve and she was surprised to see the same wolf-shaped tattoo that had once been on Guy’s arm.

“Branded with the same mark,” Guy spat “and yet, you still betray me? Now, that, you’ve got an ear in Hood’s camp, you won’t need me! How long is it until I get stabbed in the back? How long is it before my wife is harmed by the Prince’s men?”

“Ahh, that’s what this is really all about, isn’t it?” Raello asked, “Lady Marian and...”

“Don’t even say her name,” Guy spat, tightening his grip on Raello’s collar. “Before I kill you, there is one thing that I want to know. Were you lying to me this morning? Is it true that they will let her live until I return to England?”

“Ahh, Vasey’s last words are plaguing you,” Raello observed.

Marian was stunned and tried to remember the exact curses that Vasey had uttered as he lay bleeding in the desert.

‘I should have killed her when I had the chance.’

Why was that plaguing Guy so much? She had been kept safe, either by him or Little John and the gang all week. Guy did not even know about her reckless tryst with Robin. She regretted it all the more now. Were there really people trying to assassinate her to punish Guy for turning on Prince John and the Black Knights?

“You’re bluffing!” Guy grunted, but Marian saw him loosen his grip on the other man’s collar. Guy wiped his sweaty brow on a sleeve of the Saracen shirt he was wearing.

“I should have killed her when I had the chance,” Raello murmured, studying Guy’s troubled countenance. “That’s what he said, is it not, my friend?”

“How do you know what his last words were?” Guy asked incredulously.

“King Richard heard them,” Raello replied. “You have passed the test, Gisborne. If you had agreed to plot against the Coeur de Lion, then my instructions were to bring your corpse to the docks.”

“You’re not loyal to Prince John?” Guy said in shock. “You’re working for the King? You’ve switched sides.”

“Yes, as have you. This is good news for me, because I did not want to have to hurt you.” Raello replied, “Now put me down and let us be on our way.”

Marian was shocked when Guy drew his sword and held it against Raello’s neck. “No! You did lie to me, then! You have no way of knowing what Prince John will do to her!”

“Gisborne, Gisborne,” Raello said, still not seeming as frightened of Guy’s anger as Marian would be if she were in his shoes. “Vasey was in the Prince’s inner circle. He should know how the Sannes Terre would act. Now, put me down. I grow bored of this.”

“I grow bored of betrayals and lies!” Guy spat.

“Look, Gisborne,” Raello said, “they will let her live so that they can... eh, what is the English for it? Her safety will be a bargaining chip. They will use your love for her to eh, barter, heh? Just as Vasey did...”

Guy thought about it for a moment and then stepped backwards. He placed the sword back in its scabbard and then paced over to where Marian was hiding.

“You’re safe for now, my lady,” he murmured, reaching for her hand.

Marian swallowed down the guilty lump in her throat. She placed the knife back in its holster on her ankle. Guy then led her over to Raello, who seemed very surprised to see her there.

“This is my wife, Marian,” Guy said, and a knot of shame twisted in her stomach at the proud, fond way he held her.

“I am pleased to meet you, Lady Gisborne,” Raello said, giving a low bow and kissing her hand. “You are as beautiful as...”

“Please don’t,” Marian said, feeling awful for betraying Guy by almost fleeing with Robin. “I...”

“Ahh, she is a shy one, not a coquette after all, or is she?” Raello winked, delighted by her fine features.

Guy sensed Marian’s embarrassment and did not like the way the other man was gazing at her. “You must excuse us, Raello. We sail at dusk and have yet to collect our belongings from the Inn.”

“Ahh, yes and I have to go and tell the King the good news!” Raello said and held the door open for them. “Prince John’s bravest assassin is now loyal to him after all!”

“We shall see you at the docks,” Guy answered dismissively.

He led her over to the fountain and sat down on its edge. Marian sat down beside him looking down at his gloved hand in hers. She dreaded having to confess her attempt to run away with Robin. When her cheeks reddened and she kept averting her eyes, Guy pulled his hand away. He had been delighting in sitting in the shady spot with her by his side. He assumed that she, however, was repelled by the proximity.

Marian reached for his hand and slowly pulled off the glove. She bent her head and took a deep breath. He was surprised when she brought his hand up to her lips and kissed it. A tear fell onto his skin and he reached over and tilted her chin up so that he could look into her pained eyes.

“Did that Turk hurt you?” Guy asked worriedly, “The one who was screaming that you took his copper and gave him no...”

“No, that was just some wretch who bumped into me.” Marian explained.

“What’s wrong?” he asked. “I cannot bear to see you cry.”

“I am so sorry, Guy,” she choked out, looking over his shoulder because she did not want to see the hurt and anger mar his face. “I... I won’t lie to you... I tried to run away... I went with Robin and...”

Guy suddenly stood up, jamming the glove back on his hand. For a moment, she thought he was going to strike her. Even the hint of adultery could be punished by death in England, but instead he pushed past her.

Marian had to run to match his long, angry strides. She grabbed his arm, pleading with him to listen to her, apologising again and again. Guy ignored her and when they reached the Inn, Marian feared that he was going to lock her out of their room.

Instead he strode inside and started throwing her things into one of the satchels. He cursed as he punched each item into the leather bag.

“Guy, I...”

“Don’t ‘Guy’ me in that tone of voice!” he snarled at her. “I have risked my life again and again, and you will not even show me respect, let alone love!”

“Where will I go?” Marian cried.

“Ask Hood!” Guy shouted at her.

“I promised the King that I would marry you! I made vows before God!”

“Yes, and you only weep and try to cling to me now because I am of use to damn King Richard!”

“No, that’s not true. I care about you! I made promises to you that I intend to keep! Please, Guy, I’m telling you the truth! I came back! Please don’t punish me by sending me away!”

“I’m punishing you for running away!” Guy yelled and then scoffed, “Would you really suddenly see it as a punishment if you could not be in my presence? This is some trick, some...”

“No,” she said firmly, “Please, I... I want...want to stay with...you... you, Guy.” she haltingly admitted.

Saying it out loud made her feel so much better. Marian realised that she wanted to explore the side of him that had freed her from Winchester, stayed to defend Nottingham from the Prince’s men and spared the ‘night watchman’ from the noose.

Marian wanted to truly know the man who had saved the King he had always hated to win her love.

Guy tossed the bag onto the table and walked over to slam the door. Marian waited for him to yell some more or to lash out at her. Instead he turned the key in the lock.

Marian watched as he turned to lean against the old wooden door. Guy took several deep breaths to calm down, studying her the whole time. Marian realised that she could tolerate anything other than the tense silence that filled the room.

“Guy, I think that...”

“Lie on the bed,” Guy barked at her.

“I think that...” Marian began again and then stopped and walked over to the bed.

As she lay down against the pillows, she worried that he had thought the worst. She nervously wiped her sweaty palms on the coarse brown fabric of the habit. Maybe he assumed that she had given herself to Robin. Maybe he would now break his word to wait until she declared her love for him.

Guy walked around to the other side of the bed. She watched him removing his sword and belt. He pulled off his gloves and boots and then sat down on the bed beside Marian.

She waited for him to pull off her clothes and lay claim to her body, but he merely gazed sadly at her. Marian was stunned that his disappointed look was harder to bear than any harsh word or slapped cheek.

“What did Hood do to you?” he mumbled.

“He...We embraced, we kissed... I would not let him take what I had promised to my husband. He wanted us to beg for an annulment...”

“He knows that we have not consummated our vows?” Guy seethed, “You two were laughing at me? You mocked my desire to be loved, to be redeemed?”

“No! Not at all!” Marian said quickly reaching out to lay a hand on his shoulder.

Guy shifted out of her reach and it only served to remind her how much she wanted him to touch her. It was maddening that he would not.

Marian then felt the familiar guilt because her desires for Guy’s love were unfaithful to Robin. She felt conflicted and ashamed. But Marian realised that, most of all, she felt unworthy of Guy’s patient devotion.

Finally he spoke once more, “Did you like it when his hands and mouth were on you?”

Marian took a deep breath and whispered, “At first, yes.”

“Only at first?” Guy asked, doubting her sincerity.

“He became a little rough... too possessive... not himself. He was talking as if I was the plum he would pluck from your pudding...the prize he would win from his fight with you...”

“I have sometimes seen you as a treasure,” Guy murmured.

“You...you don’t anymore?” Marian asked - surprised at how much she wanted him to treasure her.

Guy was confused by her reaction. “I thought you wanted to be treated like an equal...”

Marian smiled in relief, “Oh, yes I do. I... I misunderstood you.” She did not want to concede how rejected she had just felt.

He studied her confused, troubled brow and then asked, “What did Robin say when you refused him? Will he try to take you by force?”

“No! He would never do that!” Marian exclaimed at once.

“Desperate men do desperate things,” Guy muttered, “More than once, I have considered bedding you whether you wanted it or not.”

She was startled by this confession and completely unsure what to say. Marian glanced away from his intense scrutiny and hurried on with her explanation, “I am sure that Robin is sorry now for how desperately he was trying to convince me to be with him. I fear I may have broken his nose, but...”

“You punched him?” Guy asked, “He must have been very rough...”

“No, no, but he was more insistent than he has ever been. His kisses weren’t...right...” Marian replied and then rushed on, “I...I made his nose bleed when I elbowed him in the face for pulling up my habit.”

Guy was repulsed by the image, “He was undressing you!”

“No, I mean he wanted to, but he stopped when I asked him to. See, I had already rejected him... and told him not to be so disloyal to the King and the gang... and anyway, as I fixed up my clothes, he noticed the bandages covering the top of the corset... He became angry and thought I was only denying him, because I wanted to cover for you...He thought you had beaten me where the King and the others would not see...He ran off to seek vengeance...at the wrong location for your meeting with Raello...because...anyway, I...”

Guy closed his eyes and held the bridge of his nose, “So...would you be telling me all this if you didn’t think King Richard would be asking me if I had mistreated you?”

“Yes,” Marian insisted, “I promised that I would tell you the truth and I just did.”

“Are you sure that you are not just telling me so that you can plead Hood’s case when I rip his arms off for touching my wife?”

“No... I...Are you going to ‘rip his arms off’?” Marian asked worriedly.

“No,” Guy said, “I am going to tell the King that I will not sail on the same vessel as Hood. Being separated from you will be a far worse punishment.”

“How will he get back to England?” Marian asked anxiously and then realised that it was very ungrateful of her to speak like this to Guy.

He rolled his eyes, “There’s a fleet of ships, Marian. I will tell ‘Lionheart’ that Hood defied him by snatching you and demand that the scourge not be allowed to travel with us.”

“Oh,” Marian said, wondering if that would make everything easier. Would separation from him make her less confused about her feelings for Guy? Or, would she pine all the more for her first love?

A church bell sounded outside and Marian realised that despite everything, it was still only two o’clock. So much had happened in one day that she felt overwhelmed by it.

“Are you tired?” Guy asked, watching her.

“A little,” she admitted.

“I’ll help you change,” he decided aloud, “That outfit can’t be very comfortable...”

She nodded and then hesitantly asked, “Won’t I need to wear this to the docks?”

“I have a few other disguises in the crate,” Guy replied. “Raello’s seen you in that one, so...”

“I thought you trusted him? How come you have, well, had the same tattoo? When did you meet him?”

Guy glanced out the window and eventually replied. “I’m not ready to tell you about all that. Will you just let me be cautious?”

Marian nodded, “I... Thank you for listening to me...and for looking out for me...”

“I have a breaking point,” Guy warned her. “You test my patience every day as it is. If I believe that you... have even, kissed Hood again,” he leant down until he was an inch from her face, “I will snap!”

Marian gazed at his soft lips, remembering both the passionate and tender kisses they had shared. She was surprised by how much she wanted him to kiss her. Guy’s kisses were so very different from the hurried ones she always shared with Robin in Sherwood Forest or the ones from the marketplace. Although, perhaps she was being unfair to Robin, she speculated.

This was a very difficult situation. The idea that kissing Guy would be a betrayal of Robin and give her husband false hopes of her ardour, made her close her eyes instead.

“The heat here saps your strength,” Guy observed quietly. “I’ll help you take the bandages off. Then you shall rest more easily. I would have to touch you, of course, but I’m not expecting you to cross any lines that you’ve drawn in the sand.”

Marian wasn’t sure if she could bear any more of his considerate understanding. She thought back to Robin saying that Guy was just manipulating her. But one look at the concern in his eyes, made her certain that Guy was genuinely concerned about her well-being.

“When...when I came to Locksley Manor one night during my house arrest...I...saw you without...your shirt and...I...I wanted to touch you...”

“Really?” he said in surprise, “I thought you were just trying to get me to tell Vasey to free you.”

“No, well, there was a scheme, and I was using you, but...Oh, that is all in the past...” Marian stared up at the ceiling, “Guy, this is hard for me...So, don’t interrupt... I have been in love with someone else for a very long time, but... I think about you...and...I like... your body. I...am not ready for...much...I am confused...but, I would like it if you...I...I want you...to...touch me.”

“I knew that you were stirred by me,” he murmured.

“Don’t be so smug,” Marian grumbled, chancing a glance at him.

The admiration she saw in his eyes stilled her breath. He inched closer and Marian waited for him to kiss her. Instead, he tugged at the hem of the habit.

Marian sat up, pulling it up to her middle and then knelt in front of him. Guy lifted it over her head.

He carefully untucked the edge of the bandages and leant around her, slowly untangling the layers of fabric. Marian was surprised at how impatient she felt. She wanted to feel Guy’s fingers against her skin. When she was kneeling there in just her corset, he began to untie the stays.

“Don’t you want to kiss me?” she whispered, annoyed at how insecure she sounded.

“Hush, I want to savour this,” he murmured hoarsely, making Marian even more frustrated at how long he was taking to make his move.

He eased the undergarment lose and she blushed at the way he sucked in his breath. As he pushed her down onto the bed, Marian was a little frightened by the fervent desire that clouded his eyes.

“I am sorry... that I am not ready to...”

“There are other things that we can do,” Guy told her, pulling off his shirt.

He brushed gentle, tender kisses over every part of her body that he could reach. She tentatively ran her hands over his chest.

Guy delighted in her sighs of pleasure, but then the familiar demons robbed him of his joy. As he caressed her, the image of Hood trying to convince her to abandon him kept flashing into his mind.

As Guy thought of her almost making love to his enemy, Anger clutched one of his hands. It fiercely held him back from cupping her cheek. Jealousy wrapped its fingers around his other wrist, stopping him from running his fingers over her hip.

Bitterness filled his mouth, the bile almost choking him at the thought of his rival kissing her and making her breathlessly moan ‘Robin’ instead of ‘Guy.’

He told himself that he was being his own worst enemy. Guy leant forward to kiss her, wanting to feel his tongue inside of her. Since she became his wife, he had not tasted the sweet ecstasy of her beautiful lips.

The idea of Hood robbing him of that privilege was the last straw. Guy pulled back suddenly. He could not kiss her, he could not touch her; he could not even look at her.

At that moment, Marian was not his pure white rose. Guy stood up and quickly turned away, trying not to let her see the revulsion on his flushed face. He did not want to hurt her feelings, but he just could not lie there, thinking of his enemy’s scent and touch tainting her delicate petals.

“Guy?” Marian murmured, watching him wiping his sweaty palms on his trousers. “Did I do something wrong? Was it...Is it too hard for you to stop, if we do more? I... I am sorry...”

“I’ll find you some clothes, my lady,” he managed to say as he slipped behind the sheet, which they had erected earlier.

“Thank you,” Marian murmured. “I... I am starting to see that maybe King Richard was right...”

“As if he could ever put a foot wrong,” Guy muttered sarcastically, running a hand through his hair and donning a clean shirt.

“I...I meant when he said that I...I had a... divided heart...” Marian said, wrapping one of the covers around herself self-consciously. She stood up and padded over to him.

Guy was glad then that he had not pushed her further across her line in the sand. He bit back on his anger harder than he had all day. “I want your whole heart.”

“Yes,” Marian murmured, untying the yarn so that the screen in between them fell to the floor. “But it’s a start for me to admit that you are in my heart at all, isn’t it?”

Guy nodded and then turned away, searching for a disguise in the crate. He felt like for every depth he fathomed, there were still a hundred more to go.