Never Runs Smooth 4.5
Title: Never Runs Smooth 4.5 Part 1
Author:
terimaru
Rating: PG 13
Pairing: Mal/Inara
A/N: This fic introduces a new character on Paraiso, Ethan Morrell. Special thanks to
homespunfic and
quillscribe for their excellent beta work. Any goofs are mine. Thanks gals!
The dry, dusty streets of Paraiso were always quiet during the afternoon. That’s when the three small suns hit their zenith and shone so brightly they practically washed the color out of the world. Through the 122 years that Avery had been populated, the townspeople had learned to sleep or rest during the hottest part of the day, and work late into the cooler sunset hours. In the summer, the last sun would set around the tenth hour of the evening watch, giving them light for their play and their work in the orchards.
Today, Zoë had drawn the noon watch, relieving Jayne to go back to the ship and sleep. He’d argued, but she’d stared him down. Jayne was tired, and worried about Mal though he’d deny it. The last two days had been hard on all of them, full of worry, grief, and exhaustion.
Twice during the night, Mal’s breathing had become so labored that each breath seemed like it would be his last one. Zoë had observed Simon’s growing concern as he listened to his patient’s heart and checked vitals that were thready and becoming weaker by the hour.
When Simon decided he’d missed a leaking blood vessel, and that they were going to reopen Mal’s wounds to find it, Zoë had sent Jayne out for another blood donor, and donned a surgical gown and gloves. She had gently forced Inara from the room with promises that she’d call her if they ran into any difficulties.
The second surgery had been grueling, but Zoë had never witnessed anyone more determined than Simon. He refused to stop, constantly moving, doing the work of three people, until he found it - a miniscule gash in an artery nicked by a bullet fragment.
Yesterday, after twenty-four hours, Simon had finally felt confident enough to announce that- barring complications - Mal would recover though the recovery would in no way be quick. Zoë was bothered. She knew that with gun shot wounds there was always potential for complications - infection and pneumonia being the major concerns.
Mal had woken briefly that morning, and Inara had run to the doorway of the clinic calling her name.
“Mal's awake. He’s asking for you.”
Zoe’d hurried in through the old screen door into the cooler darkness of the hallway where the filing cabinets and reception desk sat. Inara had grabbed her hand and pulled her into the surgery to his bedside.
Zöe took a moment to surreptitiously study Mal’s wife to judge how she was holding up. Inara hadn’t left Mal’s side, except for the surgeries, for the entire two days. Inara stood beside Zoë in a simple, sleeveless shift that Kaylee had brought her to replace the gown she’d been wearing when Mal was shot.
She’d pulled her hair away from her face and tied it with a latex strip, the kind Simon used when he was about to draw blood. Her face was white, bordering on gray, with the exception of the purple bruises under each eye that she owed to lack of sleep. In short, she looked like hell.
Zöe put her arm around Inara, impulsively, giving her a little squeeze. Inara’s eyes showed her surprise, and then filled with tears as she turned to Zöe and embraced her fully. They held each other for a silent moment, both gathering strength from the rare show of affection.
Zöe felt the Inara’s breath hitch in her throat as she tried to control her quiet sobs. She gave her one more hug, and then glanced at Mal over Inara’s shoulder, relieved beyond measure when she met his bemused eyes. He studied them together, a shaky smile touching his lips.
She returned his smile, trying not to let any concern show in her face. He’d be trying to read her to see how bad off he was. She forced a note of humor into her voice for his sake.
“Bout time you woke up, sir."
Mal blinked and moved his hand restlessly by his side. Zöe took it, avoiding the tubes, more to hold him still than anything.
“Hey, Zoë. How…?” His breath left before he could finish, and he had to gasp a minute before he could get it back. His eyes never left hers, insisting on a report of his condition.
“Well, sir, you managed quite a feat. Got yourself gut shot. Bullet ricocheted off a rib and went right out your upper back through a lung. You lost a lot of blood and did your best to die on us. Simon finally got you patched up. Said you wa’n’t goin’ anywhere on his watch.” Zoë’s smiled widened as she remembered Simon’s vehement words. “Later in the day, we’re goin’ to be movin’ you over to Abigail’s house.”
Mal digested that, blinking slowly, trying to fight the effects of the drugs.
“Ship? I can go to Serenity,” he got out. Zöe had been waiting for that.
“Ship’s not set up for long term recovery, sir. ‘Sides, Abigail’s all twisted up at getting’ a boarder. She’d be mighty disappointed if we called and told her we weren’t comin’. She’s made you some soup.”
Mal seemed to mull that over.
“You’ll…?
“Always do. Got a twenty-four hour guard on the ship. Kaylee and River are already with Abigail. They’re awful worried about you and needed something to do. I suspect Abigail might have a rebuilt generator by the time we get there,” she teased.
“Tell ‘em…I’m good,” he got out. She could see it was too much effort to joke back, but that he appreciated the humor nonetheless.
His head turned suddenly, searching the room.
Inara stepped up to him, immediately sensing his need to see her, and took his other hand.
“I’m here, Mal. You need to sleep,” Inara said soothingly.
He turned his head back to Zöe. “Watch Jayne.”
Zöe nodded, unable to help the emotion that swept over her. There was relief, certainly; but also something she couldn’t name. Something that recognized that even lying here half dead, Mal would still try to take care of the ones he loved first.
“Jayne’s under control. Been a trooper through this whole thing, surprisingly enough. We’re in good shape, sir. Abel’s promised us anything we need, and you know that old man ain’t gonna let nothin’ happen to his best chance of gettin’ that liquor off this planet,” she teased.
Mal searched her eyes and then nodded, finding what he needed to see there. His eyelids drooped closed once, but he forced them back open.
“Might need to rest a little now, Zöe,” he apologized.
“I think that’d be a good idea, sir. I’ve got your back. Get some sleep.”
Both women watched quietly as he slid back into a restless slumber.
Zöe looked over the table at Inara. Girl might be all shine on the outside, but the more she got to know Inara, the more she realized the former Companion had a core of pure steel. She’d learned on Miranda that Inara would stick with them through the hard stuff and hold her own, but she’d never been prouder of Mal’s wife than she was now.
Dirty, exhausted, grieving, and fully aware of how much she helped to anchor Mal, she’d stood by his side even when she was swaying from fatigue. Zöe respected that, loved her for it. Mal deserved a woman like Inara to fight by his side in this world.
She’d told Inara back on Sihnon that Mal would never be easy, but that he was worth the fight. What she hadn’t told her was that only a woman as strong as he was could win that contest.
Zoë recognized that Inara had proven herself Mal’s equal in stubbornness, if nothing else, especially when she recalled how Mal had tried to push Inara away when the two women had returned from Sihnon. Inara had turned the tables on Mal, and had forced him past his reservations into taking the first step into a real relationship.
“You should get some sleep, Inara. Abigail has the room ready, why don’t you go on over? I’ll be right outside if he should need anything.”
Inara simply shook her head. “I’m not leaving him.”
Zöe nodded, understanding. “Well, at least let Simon bring a cot in here. If you pass out from exhaustion, you won’t be doing anybody any favors, dong ma? We still gotta get him moved, and that ain’t gonna be fun,” she warned.
She accepted Inara’s nod of agreement with relief. Zoe didn’t need another person to watch over, Jayne and Abel were both taking considerable consoling.
“It’s going to get a lot worse, isn’t it Zöe?” Inara asked and trailed her fingers through Mal’s bangs, smoothing the short, spiky hair away from his face. She was constantly touching Mal. It made Zoë think of Wash and how she’d loved to smooth her fingers over his skin. They itched just thinking bout it. She forced that ache to the back of her mind to focus on the present.
“I ain’t gonna lie to you, Inara. It’s gonna get bad. Most likely a fever’ll set in, but he’s tough. If anybody can pull through this, he will. And we got Simon. That boy’s as mulish as Mal when it comes to keepin’ this crew alive. I got hope.”
“Do you pray, Zöe?” Inara asked, her eyes on her husband’s still face, and Zöe could see her awe at how innocent Mal looked when he was unguarded and sleeping.
It always gave Zöe pause to see it herself, and think how much life had changed him from the God-fearing, irrepressible, backwater cowboy he’d been when she first met him, to the seasoned warrior he was today.
“I cast up a word now and then to whoever I think might be listenin’. Kinda got in the habit during the war. Had this crazy-assed sergeant; he’d go around prayin’ for us, talking to God out loud." Zoe shook her head, smiling at the memory. "Gotta tell you, it could get down-right embarrassin’.
Wouldn’t eat a bite of food, no matter how many days we’d been without, ‘til he said grace over it. Was with him enough that, for some reason, that silly habit stayed with me; and I find myself standin’ here prayin’ to somethin’ I can’t see and don’t really believe in that he’ll get better.”
“What ever happened to that sergeant? Do you know?” Inara turned to Zöe, always interested in Zöe and Mal’s past.
Zöe smiled warmly at her as she picked up her rifle to head back outside.
“I do. He talked his best friend into takin’ this rattle-trap old clunker into space to haul cargo. Like to killed ‘em both. They had a boatload of adventure, cheatin’ death at every turn. They picked up a crew as they went along, including a pilot that his best friend fell in love with and married.
Then he went and fell in love his own self, got married, and he’s lived happily, one day at a time, ever since - the only way he knows how. That ain’t nothin’, Inara, considerin’ how unhappy he’s been since the war,” Zöe said earnestly, as candid with Inara as she’d ever been.
“Found a woman that’s healin’ his soul; one that’s got the wisdom to look through the mess to know that, if she can ever get the pieces put back together, she’ll have a real treasure.”
Tears streamed down Inara’s face as she stared at Zöe across the table.
“Not so wise, Zöe. A wise woman would know more about her husband’s wants.”
Zöe was puzzled, “What do you mean?”
“He wanted that baby…when I found out about the joke that River and Kaylee played, I was furious. If they’d seen his face…he was so disappointed, Zöe. I never dreamed…there’s so much of him that I can’t discern, so many layers that he never allows anyone see…so many masks…I never dreamed he’d want children, ” Inara confessed.
Zöe turned toward Inara. “Reckon he did. Sometimes you don’t even know you want a thing ‘til you’ve got it. Then it makes it that much harder when you lose it.
Don’t wait, Inara, for that perfect time,” Zoe cautioned, looking Inara dead in the eye when she said it. She forced her own grief aside, because she knew she had to say this. “Wash and I did, and you see where that got us. When you want something, take it that minute. You may not have another chance.
I’ll be outside. Try to get some sleep. This move is like to wear us all out.”
Inara nodded, turning her tearful eyes to study Mal, her thoughts for once written across her face.
Zöe turned and went back out the cool hallway, nearly bumping into Simon.
“Simon.”
“Zöe. I had to run back to the ship to get more supplies, ” he said, and his eyes slid past her towards the infirmary. “Any change?”
Zöe nodded, seeing the exhaustion on Simon’s face as well. The doctor had showered and changed clothes; but it wasn’t enough. He needed rest, just like they all did.
“He’s been speaking. He’s worried about us,” Zoe said, and allowed a little warm amusement to show through.
“Well, that’s the captain,” Simon agreed, then hesitated. Zöe waited patiently for what she suspected she knew was coming. “Zöe, I said we could move him, but I have to tell you, he’s not…”
Zöe stopped him with a comforting smile and a hand to his shoulder. “I know that, Simon, and so does Inara. We know you’re doin’ everything you can. If anybody can pull through this he can. I’ve seen him worse, if you can believe it. He’ll fight. It’s what he does.”
Simon nodded, clearly relieved that he wasn’t the only one who understood that the situation was likely to become graver. His look of relief reminded her that the doctor sometimes forgot that she and Mal had been in a war together. It occasionally made her want to inform him that some of what they’d seen, and had to deal with in deplorable field situations, made this look like a walk in the park.
Then again, she sometimes forgot that he was pretty young himself, and as Mal had mentioned to her, being brought up prissyfied hadn’t done him any favors either. The boy was having to learn to deal with a lot of go se. He was doing the best he could to try to reassure them without promising them anything. She’d heard him talking to Kaylee earlier, taking the time to answer her questions and comfort her.
Zöe had watched River, fascinated as always at just how much Simon’s sister seemed to understand beyond what was said. She’d remained silent as Simon talked to Kaylee, almost seeming to look through him. Then she’d muttered something about glue and feeding the fish.
“Get some rest, Simon, and try to get Inara to sleep as well. This night’s gonna be gorram unpleasant.”
“I’ll try. What about you, Zöe? Have you had rest or eaten anything?”
Zöe smiled, appreciating his concern. “I’m fine. I’ll be outside cooking from the inside out if you need me. You hear anything sounds suspicious, you lock these doors and get that gun I gave you, dong ma?”
Simon nodded solemnly and she slipped back out to the porch.
Part 2