Okies...
I've decided this is my last of angsty posts until/unless something dramatic happens. =)
A lyrical teenage angst story...
Hahaha so kind of a time line of lyrics/lines that have kinda stuck with me through the years...in a sort of chronological order. So ADAM when you reflect at this you can realize how much you've grown...and perhaps how some things never change. At least the later songs shows how your music choices have changed and can see why it's still fueled by emotion.
Old me...
"I'm ok....
...All the demons in my head won't leave me
I know I can hear them
All the sacrifices made for nothing
Don't show can't believe it
Want to show that I'm good for something
I can't you won't let me
All your artificial words won't heal me
Because you can't accept me
And I hate myself
And I hate my face
And I hate my world
And I hate my ways
And I
I'M NOT OK!"
*****Staind - A Flat. Still a fantastic album in my eyes...but wow...really "I hate myself" so dramatic in 8th grade.
"I want you - don't walk away
I need you - the time is right
I need to hold you tight
Rejection - I can't believe you're gone
Rejection - why'd you have to walk away
Rejection - I can't believe you're gone
Rejection - now it's time to turn the page
Rejection - What the fuck did I do
Rejection - why'd you have to walk away
Rejection - you broke me in two
REJECTION - REJECTION"
*****40 Below Summer - Rejection. Once again wow. Really? I miss concerts....
Oh and speaking 40 below...
"What if life were a dream
- would you be there waiting for me
Suicide in a sleep - I'd rather die and have you miss me
And it all went away - the pain of watching you deny me
I've fallen again... inside
And I wither away and die
Tomorrow's just another day to cry
I wither away and die
Clip my wings... without you I can't fly"
**40 Below Summer - Wither away. LOL - I hope you remember why!
"Can't you see that I wanna be
there with open arms
It's empty tonight and I'm all alone
Get me through this one
Do you notice I'm gone
Where do you run to so far away
I want you to know that
I miss you, I miss you so
I want you to know that
I miss you, I miss you so
I'm writing again
These letters to you, aren't much I know
But I'm not sleeping, you're not here
The thought stops my heart
Do you notice I'm gone
Where do you run to so far away
I'm gone away......"
*****Finch - Letters to you. Is there anything I can't just "LOL" about now. /sigh. This was the last time I felt like this...
"Does he kiss your eyelids in the morning when you start to raise your head?
And does he sing to you incessantly from the space between your bed and wall?
Does he walk around all day at school with his feet inside your shoes?
Looking down every few steps to pretend he walks with you.
Oh, does he know that place below your neck that is your favorite to be touched
and does he cry through broken sentences like I love you far too much?
Does he lay awake listening to your breath?
Worried you smoke too many cigarettes.
Is he coughing now on a bathroom floor?
For every speck of tile there's a thousand more
you won't ever see but most hold inside yourself eternally
Well, I drug your ghost across the country and we plotted out my death.
In every city, memories would whisper: "Here is where you rest."
I was determined in Chicago but I dug my teeth into my knees
and I settled for a telephone and sang into your machine.
You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
And I kissed a girl with a broken jaw that her father gave to her.
She had eyes bright enough to burn me. They reminded me of yours.
And in a story told she was a little girl in a red-rouge, sun-bruised field
and there were rows of ripe tomatoes where a secret was concealed.
And it rose like thunder, clapped under our hands.
And it stretched for centuries to a diary entry's end where I wrote,
You make me happy oh!! when skies are gray
You make me happy oh!! when skies are gray and gray and gray.
Well the clock's heart it hangs inside its open chest with hands
stretched towards the calendar hanging itself
but I will not weep for those dying days.
For all the ones who've left there's a few that stayed.
And they found me here and pulled me from the grass where I was laid."
*****Bright Eyes - The calendar hung itself. This whole song is flush of teenage nostalgia.
"Do you care if I
don't know what to say
Will you sleep tonight
or will you think of me
Will I shake this off
pretend its all okay
That there someone out there
who feels just like me
There is"
*****Boxcar Racer - Lame. But close enough =P
"I wish it didnt hurt, hurt like this
To say these things to you
I'll sacrifice
one moment
for one truth
If we get through tomorrow then we'll be fine
(Than we'll be fine)
We'll wait for, forever and see how close we get
It's just another day
One more chance to get this right
I'll sacrifice forever, please just for tonight
If we get through tomorrow then we'll be fine
(then we'll be fine)
We'll wait for forever and see how close we get
(WE GET!)
The worst is over for now
Take a breath, now let it out
The worst is over for now
Take a breath, now let it out
The worst is over for now"
*****Finch - Post Script. Finch will always be the band that pushed me away from nu-metal and will always have a place in my musical heart.
"She said that she still wants a friendship
She cant live her life without me as a friend
I cant figure out why I'd give a damn to what she wants
I don't understand the now before the then
Most of this garbage I write
That these people seem to like
Is about you
And how I let you infect my life
And if they got to know you
I doubt that they would see it
They'd wonder what i showed you
How you could leave it...
...Fuck you Lucy for defining my existence
Fuck you and your differences...
...And everyone in his life would mistake it as love
Everyone in his life would mistake it as love...
...I wanna stand on top of this mountain and yell
I wanna wake up and break up this lake of hell...
....Getting in a million memories just to forget her
The difficulty in keeping emotions controlled
Cookies for the road
Took me by the soul...
Hunger for the drama
Hunger for the nurture
Gonna take it further
The hurt feels like murder
Interperate
The eyes
Read the lines on her face
The sunshine is fake
How much time did i waste?
Fuck you Lucy for leaving me
Fuck you Lucy for not needin me
I wanna say fuck you
Because i still love you
No, I'm not OK
And I don't know what to do
Do I sound mad?
Well I guess I'm a little pissed
Every action has a point
Five points make a fist
You close em
You swing em
It hurt when it hits
And the truth can be a bitch
But if the boot fits
I got an idea
You should get a tattoo that says warning
That's all, just a warning
So the potential victim
Can take a left and safe breath
And avoid you
Sober and upset in the morning
I wanna scream Fuck you Lucy
But the problem is i love you Lucy
So instead
I'm gonna finish my drink,and have another
While you think about how you used to be my lover
(Fuck you)"
*****Atmosphere - Fuck you Lucy. As Finch was my gateway band to "alternative music" Atmosphere will always stand to be my Indie Hip Hop.
"...I'd find a way to put my faith
Into a woman that could take me from today, maybe
I need somebody that could save me
From the parts of myself that keep making me crazy...
"And if I did have a choice
I'd never want to live forever
Just let me have a voice so I can make my points
I can't imagine running a race with no finish line
Just let me keep my pace and make to most of my time
I love giving but I'm bad at receiving
The truth is, I'd prefer to be the one bleeding
But I'm a paranoid that stays between play and work
Cautious and aware, 'cause I'm afraid of being hurt
Which brings me to the issue
And that would be this:
How often must I ask myself why I exist?
I feel like a freak, this world is a circus
Just trying to find myself as well as my purpose
And if I was Santa Claus, I'd fight for the cause
Wouldn't expect nothing in return
I'd give you everything you want, I'd be everything you need
And you can take my hand and I can take the lead"
*****Atmosphere - If I was Santa Claus. Once again lyrics that relate to the soul.
"Don't ever fucking question that...
when I remember how you used to call me baby,
enough to look in my mirror with detest for every tear you shed regardless of
why you wept,
enough to curse any man who can't appreciate the depth of the ocean i swam
till i ran out of breath.
I love you, don't ever fucking question that,
that's why we'll probably never get along.
if I was better at finding the right words to say, I wouldn't need to write
these mother fucking songs.
make the love, paint the picture, write the song..."
*****Atmosphere - Don't ever fucking question that. GAWD so much I can relate to in all these songs.
"...And maybe I should call
And maybe I just fuck the fuck off
Cause, it's my fault, and I fucked it all
What am I, 10 again?
This shit was messed up from the beginning
And I knew I'd fall in love and then I'd lose it
And lose a friend
Maybe it's her fault
She never seemed to try
Tom, give me a second, I've got something in my eye
Love to the next hugs
Kisses to the sex life
Hot with emotion, baby, tell me what you need
Sex to the love to the thing
Not enough, to the anger
How'd you lose your love for the leaves?
Drowning
I'm not waving, I'm drowning
Why you never listening?
Why don't you care?
Why it gotta be like this?
Why don't you care?
Please, baby, talk to me
Please go away
Please, will you look at me?
Please, baby, stay
Can we stop this shit?
Can we try?
Can we make a go of it?
Please don't cry
I'm not waving, I'm drowning
I remember
Bruised head, and a bruised heart
And I remember
Tossing with tears, cause the sleep's hard
If you remember
That face smell on a pillow cover is not the smell of
love anymore
That's loss and pain
Vain happenings, you're
No longer the recipient of casual looks, I see
They say you're all I see
So much compassion in her stare
How can it be in the back of my eyelids, haunting me
A picture featuring your fat lower lip, and brown hair...
With all the guys in the world, remember that you chose me
My best...you can have it if you want it
*****POS - That One.
"I keep moving
I go from house to house
I stay committed
Like one foot in, one foot out
I bounce
Yeah I'm leaving this place"
So I fled
As I remembered one should never look back
There's no direction home only blood on the tracks
Stuck in the past
I jetted and left the red footprints for them to follow
Headed toward tomorrow
And took sips from the flask
My book of life
Is a "Choose Your Own Adventure"
With a circular section
You can tell your friends I walked all over you
But you know that's not what these boots were made to do
I am no destination
I am just the journey
So don't go settling on me, love
No, don't go settling on me
Speak of me in your travels
Take pictures if you please
But don't go settling on me, love
No don't go settling on me
A lyrical teenage angst story...
Hahaha so kind of a time line of lyrics/lines that have kinda stuck with me through the years...in a sort of chronological order. So ADAM when you reflect at this you can realize how much you've grown...and perhaps how some things never change. At least the later songs shows how your music choices have changed and can see why it's still fueled by emotion.
Old me...
"I'm ok....
...All the demons in my head won't leave me
I know I can hear them
All the sacrifices made for nothing
Don't show can't believe it
Want to show that I'm good for something
I can't you won't let me
All your artificial words won't heal me
Because you can't accept me
And I hate myself
And I hate my face
And I hate my world
And I hate my ways
And I
I'M NOT OK!"
*****Staind - A Flat. Still a fantastic album in my eyes...but wow...really "I hate myself" so dramatic in 8th grade.
"I want you - don't walk away
I need you - the time is right
I need to hold you tight
Rejection - I can't believe you're gone
Rejection - why'd you have to walk away
Rejection - I can't believe you're gone
Rejection - now it's time to turn the page
Rejection - What the fuck did I do
Rejection - why'd you have to walk away
Rejection - you broke me in two
REJECTION - REJECTION"
*****40 Below Summer - Rejection. Once again wow. Really? I miss concerts....
Oh and speaking 40 below...
"What if life were a dream
- would you be there waiting for me
Suicide in a sleep - I'd rather die and have you miss me
And it all went away - the pain of watching you deny me
I've fallen again... inside
And I wither away and die
Tomorrow's just another day to cry
I wither away and die
Clip my wings... without you I can't fly"
**40 Below Summer - Wither away. LOL - I hope you remember why!
"Can't you see that I wanna be
there with open arms
It's empty tonight and I'm all alone
Get me through this one
Do you notice I'm gone
Where do you run to so far away
I want you to know that
I miss you, I miss you so
I want you to know that
I miss you, I miss you so
I'm writing again
These letters to you, aren't much I know
But I'm not sleeping, you're not here
The thought stops my heart
Do you notice I'm gone
Where do you run to so far away
I'm gone away......"
*****Finch - Letters to you. Is there anything I can't just "LOL" about now. /sigh. This was the last time I felt like this...
"Does he kiss your eyelids in the morning when you start to raise your head?
And does he sing to you incessantly from the space between your bed and wall?
Does he walk around all day at school with his feet inside your shoes?
Looking down every few steps to pretend he walks with you.
Oh, does he know that place below your neck that is your favorite to be touched
and does he cry through broken sentences like I love you far too much?
Does he lay awake listening to your breath?
Worried you smoke too many cigarettes.
Is he coughing now on a bathroom floor?
For every speck of tile there's a thousand more
you won't ever see but most hold inside yourself eternally
Well, I drug your ghost across the country and we plotted out my death.
In every city, memories would whisper: "Here is where you rest."
I was determined in Chicago but I dug my teeth into my knees
and I settled for a telephone and sang into your machine.
You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
And I kissed a girl with a broken jaw that her father gave to her.
She had eyes bright enough to burn me. They reminded me of yours.
And in a story told she was a little girl in a red-rouge, sun-bruised field
and there were rows of ripe tomatoes where a secret was concealed.
And it rose like thunder, clapped under our hands.
And it stretched for centuries to a diary entry's end where I wrote,
You make me happy oh!! when skies are gray
You make me happy oh!! when skies are gray and gray and gray.
Well the clock's heart it hangs inside its open chest with hands
stretched towards the calendar hanging itself
but I will not weep for those dying days.
For all the ones who've left there's a few that stayed.
And they found me here and pulled me from the grass where I was laid."
*****Bright Eyes - The calendar hung itself. This whole song is flush of teenage nostalgia.
"Do you care if I
don't know what to say
Will you sleep tonight
or will you think of me
Will I shake this off
pretend its all okay
That there someone out there
who feels just like me
There is"
*****Boxcar Racer - Lame. But close enough =P
"I wish it didnt hurt, hurt like this
To say these things to you
I'll sacrifice
one moment
for one truth
If we get through tomorrow then we'll be fine
(Than we'll be fine)
We'll wait for, forever and see how close we get
It's just another day
One more chance to get this right
I'll sacrifice forever, please just for tonight
If we get through tomorrow then we'll be fine
(then we'll be fine)
We'll wait for forever and see how close we get
(WE GET!)
The worst is over for now
Take a breath, now let it out
The worst is over for now
Take a breath, now let it out
The worst is over for now"
*****Finch - Post Script. Finch will always be the band that pushed me away from nu-metal and will always have a place in my musical heart.
"She said that she still wants a friendship
She cant live her life without me as a friend
I cant figure out why I'd give a damn to what she wants
I don't understand the now before the then
Most of this garbage I write
That these people seem to like
Is about you
And how I let you infect my life
And if they got to know you
I doubt that they would see it
They'd wonder what i showed you
How you could leave it...
...Fuck you Lucy for defining my existence
Fuck you and your differences...
...And everyone in his life would mistake it as love
Everyone in his life would mistake it as love...
...I wanna stand on top of this mountain and yell
I wanna wake up and break up this lake of hell...
....Getting in a million memories just to forget her
The difficulty in keeping emotions controlled
Cookies for the road
Took me by the soul...
Hunger for the drama
Hunger for the nurture
Gonna take it further
The hurt feels like murder
Interperate
The eyes
Read the lines on her face
The sunshine is fake
How much time did i waste?
Fuck you Lucy for leaving me
Fuck you Lucy for not needin me
I wanna say fuck you
Because i still love you
No, I'm not OK
And I don't know what to do
Do I sound mad?
Well I guess I'm a little pissed
Every action has a point
Five points make a fist
You close em
You swing em
It hurt when it hits
And the truth can be a bitch
But if the boot fits
I got an idea
You should get a tattoo that says warning
That's all, just a warning
So the potential victim
Can take a left and safe breath
And avoid you
Sober and upset in the morning
I wanna scream Fuck you Lucy
But the problem is i love you Lucy
So instead
I'm gonna finish my drink,and have another
While you think about how you used to be my lover
(Fuck you)"
*****Atmosphere - Fuck you Lucy. As Finch was my gateway band to "alternative music" Atmosphere will always stand to be my Indie Hip Hop.
"...I'd find a way to put my faith
Into a woman that could take me from today, maybe
I need somebody that could save me
From the parts of myself that keep making me crazy...
"And if I did have a choice
I'd never want to live forever
Just let me have a voice so I can make my points
I can't imagine running a race with no finish line
Just let me keep my pace and make to most of my time
I love giving but I'm bad at receiving
The truth is, I'd prefer to be the one bleeding
But I'm a paranoid that stays between play and work
Cautious and aware, 'cause I'm afraid of being hurt
Which brings me to the issue
And that would be this:
How often must I ask myself why I exist?
I feel like a freak, this world is a circus
Just trying to find myself as well as my purpose
And if I was Santa Claus, I'd fight for the cause
Wouldn't expect nothing in return
I'd give you everything you want, I'd be everything you need
And you can take my hand and I can take the lead"
*****Atmosphere - If I was Santa Claus. Once again lyrics that relate to the soul.
"Don't ever fucking question that...
when I remember how you used to call me baby,
enough to look in my mirror with detest for every tear you shed regardless of
why you wept,
enough to curse any man who can't appreciate the depth of the ocean i swam
till i ran out of breath.
I love you, don't ever fucking question that,
that's why we'll probably never get along.
if I was better at finding the right words to say, I wouldn't need to write
these mother fucking songs.
make the love, paint the picture, write the song..."
*****Atmosphere - Don't ever fucking question that. GAWD so much I can relate to in all these songs.
"...And maybe I should call
And maybe I just fuck the fuck off
Cause, it's my fault, and I fucked it all
What am I, 10 again?
This shit was messed up from the beginning
And I knew I'd fall in love and then I'd lose it
And lose a friend
Maybe it's her fault
She never seemed to try
Tom, give me a second, I've got something in my eye
Love to the next hugs
Kisses to the sex life
Hot with emotion, baby, tell me what you need
Sex to the love to the thing
Not enough, to the anger
How'd you lose your love for the leaves?
Drowning
I'm not waving, I'm drowning
Why you never listening?
Why don't you care?
Why it gotta be like this?
Why don't you care?
Please, baby, talk to me
Please go away
Please, will you look at me?
Please, baby, stay
Can we stop this shit?
Can we try?
Can we make a go of it?
Please don't cry
I'm not waving, I'm drowning
I remember
Bruised head, and a bruised heart
And I remember
Tossing with tears, cause the sleep's hard
If you remember
That face smell on a pillow cover is not the smell of
love anymore
That's loss and pain
Vain happenings, you're
No longer the recipient of casual looks, I see
They say you're all I see
So much compassion in her stare
How can it be in the back of my eyelids, haunting me
A picture featuring your fat lower lip, and brown hair...
With all the guys in the world, remember that you chose me
My best...you can have it if you want it
*****POS - That One.
"I keep moving
I go from house to house
I stay committed
Like one foot in, one foot out
I bounce
Yeah I'm leaving this place"
So I fled
As I remembered one should never look back
There's no direction home only blood on the tracks
Stuck in the past
I jetted and left the red footprints for them to follow
Headed toward tomorrow
And took sips from the flask
My book of life
Is a "Choose Your Own Adventure"
With a circular section
You can tell your friends I walked all over you
But you know that's not what these boots were made to do
I am no destination
I am just the journey
So don't go settling on me, love
No, don't go settling on me
Speak of me in your travels
Take pictures if you please
But don't go settling on me, love
No don't go settling on me