Brain Thrust Mastery details
My flist can ignore this unless they want to know what random shit went down at We Are Scientists' Brain Thrust Mastery session on Wednesday lunchtime.
So we got let into the union at 1ish, it was really small. The stage was really close and when the boys came out you felt very close to them. I'll mention it again for everyone - Keith wears THE red shirt from the ad video and it's so hot in person. Yum.
Okay so the boys come out. Lots of cheering. We're excited. They both have clipboards (with I'm assuming random call words for them to try and remember what they are talking about). They show us the ad video on the big screen behind them which I'd already seen and I'd imagine most/all other people had too. They then tell us what it's all about. It's about the brain which according to Chris is the cauliflower in your head. He may have said this a few times and Keith backed him up on it. They asked us what we thought about when you hear the word thrust. Needless to say they read our minds. Keith even did some actions of thrusting. And mastery means that we are gonna be masters on all the techniques.
They said "if you don't believe us, just look and see what BTM has done for these people." and this is where the testimonials come in. Keith was quite enjoying all his parts which was great and Chris was nodding along a lot. So clearly BTM works. To make sure we got that point they showed us a graph of numbers which I can't really describe because you have to see it but it basically showed people who had gone to BTM sessions and those who hadn't and their percentage of happiness (or well-being, something like that). Non-BTM goers stick around 20-25% every year but BTM goes go from around 50% the first year to repeating after 4 years to have 110% happiness. Oh yes you better believe it.
Next up was telling us about what techniques they use. Mind Sound - I can't quite remember what they said about this one (but don't worry I've got the method down). Face Thought which is thinking with your face. Chris was kinda swaying back and forth and looking at us when he talked about it and said "I'm using it right now". Time Vision Performance - which is very important. And many more... They actually just said "and more of course" or something to that effect as if there will be more to be learned.
The first method they talked about was Mind Sound. This is how peaceful it is inside your head. And you better believe the boys have an invention to hear inside your head. What is this contraption? A colander (with the tag still attached - it's that new and still in development they said. lol) with lots of little wires sticking out. So to show us how we should be we got to hear Chris' mind sound. Keith told us there is no one more at peace than Chris and so we found out when the colander was placed on his head. You heard birds chirping and all that kinda stuff you get on those peaceful music CDs. Just to prove their point further Keith was up next, though I will mention when Keith took the colander off Chris' head the peaceful music was still going - Chris was like "Got a bit of an echo there." Hilarious. Keith also got the colander on his head and yes you better believe he was also very zen and peaceful inside that head of his. Now they wanted volunteers to show why we need these sessions. First up was Steve (I think) and he got the lovely colander on his head. Oh dear, this boy needed help - inside his head were sex sounds, car noises, music. Clearly not peaceful. Another guy came up and he was basically the same - even some Hallelujah sounds. More help needed. The third and final volunteer started off as maybe he was fine and didn't need the session but his peaceful mind was soon disrupted by car chases and guns. Things are clearly bad here. We need help.
How to fix us? Oh the power phrase of course. That makes everything right. This you need learn, to memorise. But don't worry it's easy. What is it?
"Derrida's examination of the inchoate hegemony of the dialectic sort of renders that obsolete, don't you think?"
Uh huh. That is your power phrase. To help us say it whenever the occasion calls for we got lovely handy cards with the phrase on it handed out by Keith Murray himself. I got a few extra so gave them to a few people - mostly to show how random the entire thing was. Here's a scan of mine which stays in my wallet now:
To prove how this phrase will help us we got more video proof. The power phrase - in the boardroom, in prison... It really works.
To go with your power phrase you need a power move. Everyone has your own power move, you just need to find it and use it. This time we got video of Chris and Keith's power moves. A lot of them are in the testimonial video where they are jumping around, etc when people thank them for BTM. Chris uses the same thing a lot, just different variations. The called it something but the name is lost on me now. Either way it was hilarious when every time we saw Chris we got "[name of thing] again, different variation there, [name of thing] again".
The next method was for them to show how well Chris can read people. He can figure people out after a few simple questions. They asked for volunteers again and for the first time a few people put there hands up but the boys chose this lovely blonde guy from the back. His name was Max. When he told them that Chris said "Are you American too? That's a coincidence". Very much so. Now Chris got to ask him a few questions. He chose - how many sisters do you have? (Max - none). What are their names? (Max confused). Chris figured he knew enough and both of them got writing pads and pens and Keith now asked questions which both of them answered to see if Chris knew Max well. These were - favourite colour, dream job and worst fear. Once both had finished we got to see how good Chris was. Max's favourite colour is orange, Chris had the same. His dream job is safari tour leader, Chris had adventure tour leader (he said he didn't have enough time to get it exactly right). I think Max put his worst fear as spiders and Chris also had the same. Well done Chris!
So now that Chris proved he could read this Max fella they asked for another volunteer. I'm not really quite sure the questions Chris asked this time, there were only about 2 and there is no way he could figure out our volunteer from them. So Keith asked the same questions again and we got to see the boys answers. Volunteer had amber for fave colour, Chris had orange. It is orange apparently and they asked how he felt about that colour and if he could come round to it. Dream job - Volunteer had mechanical engineer whilst Chris had dog assassin. Had our volunteer considered that as a career path before? Nope. Well now he can. Finally worst fear. Our volunteer said failure. Chris took sometime to write this one down and he said "In bed with a girl and his thingy won't work and the girl turns out to be his sister." That is his worst fear. Clearly. Chris can definitely read people.
Finally they told us it was exam time. They wanted to see how much we had learned. So lovely Keith came round again and handed out our exam papers. They told us to look it over, and gave us some time to get the answers. Let me tell you I heard so many "what the fuck"'s in relation to the exam paper. People were confused as hell. But then our time was up and Chris told us that before BTM we couldn't answer any of these questions but now we can. And we got them all right! On the screen behind the boys they had 1-7 with correct written beside them. Wooooooo!
Our exam paper.
Here's an example of a question:
1. Which of the following is a characteristic of the Hardy-Weinberg law?
a] mating between species occurs at a set rate
b] Migration is a considerable factor
c] Mutation occurs at the locus
d] Genotype selection does not occur at the locus.
:S
That was our session over. It went really quick and was hilarious. I realise I probably didn't get over a lot of the comedy on this but that's because most of it came from their random comments which are impossible to remember. They were that random. The entire thing was random. But amazing.
I hope this helps people understand a little what goes on.
Why must trains to Inverness be £30 return? I want to see WAS there as well! God dammit!
I am about to buy an Editors ticket though. Yay!
So we got let into the union at 1ish, it was really small. The stage was really close and when the boys came out you felt very close to them. I'll mention it again for everyone - Keith wears THE red shirt from the ad video and it's so hot in person. Yum.
Okay so the boys come out. Lots of cheering. We're excited. They both have clipboards (with I'm assuming random call words for them to try and remember what they are talking about). They show us the ad video on the big screen behind them which I'd already seen and I'd imagine most/all other people had too. They then tell us what it's all about. It's about the brain which according to Chris is the cauliflower in your head. He may have said this a few times and Keith backed him up on it. They asked us what we thought about when you hear the word thrust. Needless to say they read our minds. Keith even did some actions of thrusting. And mastery means that we are gonna be masters on all the techniques.
They said "if you don't believe us, just look and see what BTM has done for these people." and this is where the testimonials come in. Keith was quite enjoying all his parts which was great and Chris was nodding along a lot. So clearly BTM works. To make sure we got that point they showed us a graph of numbers which I can't really describe because you have to see it but it basically showed people who had gone to BTM sessions and those who hadn't and their percentage of happiness (or well-being, something like that). Non-BTM goers stick around 20-25% every year but BTM goes go from around 50% the first year to repeating after 4 years to have 110% happiness. Oh yes you better believe it.
Next up was telling us about what techniques they use. Mind Sound - I can't quite remember what they said about this one (but don't worry I've got the method down). Face Thought which is thinking with your face. Chris was kinda swaying back and forth and looking at us when he talked about it and said "I'm using it right now". Time Vision Performance - which is very important. And many more... They actually just said "and more of course" or something to that effect as if there will be more to be learned.
The first method they talked about was Mind Sound. This is how peaceful it is inside your head. And you better believe the boys have an invention to hear inside your head. What is this contraption? A colander (with the tag still attached - it's that new and still in development they said. lol) with lots of little wires sticking out. So to show us how we should be we got to hear Chris' mind sound. Keith told us there is no one more at peace than Chris and so we found out when the colander was placed on his head. You heard birds chirping and all that kinda stuff you get on those peaceful music CDs. Just to prove their point further Keith was up next, though I will mention when Keith took the colander off Chris' head the peaceful music was still going - Chris was like "Got a bit of an echo there." Hilarious. Keith also got the colander on his head and yes you better believe he was also very zen and peaceful inside that head of his. Now they wanted volunteers to show why we need these sessions. First up was Steve (I think) and he got the lovely colander on his head. Oh dear, this boy needed help - inside his head were sex sounds, car noises, music. Clearly not peaceful. Another guy came up and he was basically the same - even some Hallelujah sounds. More help needed. The third and final volunteer started off as maybe he was fine and didn't need the session but his peaceful mind was soon disrupted by car chases and guns. Things are clearly bad here. We need help.
How to fix us? Oh the power phrase of course. That makes everything right. This you need learn, to memorise. But don't worry it's easy. What is it?
"Derrida's examination of the inchoate hegemony of the dialectic sort of renders that obsolete, don't you think?"
Uh huh. That is your power phrase. To help us say it whenever the occasion calls for we got lovely handy cards with the phrase on it handed out by Keith Murray himself. I got a few extra so gave them to a few people - mostly to show how random the entire thing was. Here's a scan of mine which stays in my wallet now:
To prove how this phrase will help us we got more video proof. The power phrase - in the boardroom, in prison... It really works.
To go with your power phrase you need a power move. Everyone has your own power move, you just need to find it and use it. This time we got video of Chris and Keith's power moves. A lot of them are in the testimonial video where they are jumping around, etc when people thank them for BTM. Chris uses the same thing a lot, just different variations. The called it something but the name is lost on me now. Either way it was hilarious when every time we saw Chris we got "[name of thing] again, different variation there, [name of thing] again".
The next method was for them to show how well Chris can read people. He can figure people out after a few simple questions. They asked for volunteers again and for the first time a few people put there hands up but the boys chose this lovely blonde guy from the back. His name was Max. When he told them that Chris said "Are you American too? That's a coincidence". Very much so. Now Chris got to ask him a few questions. He chose - how many sisters do you have? (Max - none). What are their names? (Max confused). Chris figured he knew enough and both of them got writing pads and pens and Keith now asked questions which both of them answered to see if Chris knew Max well. These were - favourite colour, dream job and worst fear. Once both had finished we got to see how good Chris was. Max's favourite colour is orange, Chris had the same. His dream job is safari tour leader, Chris had adventure tour leader (he said he didn't have enough time to get it exactly right). I think Max put his worst fear as spiders and Chris also had the same. Well done Chris!
So now that Chris proved he could read this Max fella they asked for another volunteer. I'm not really quite sure the questions Chris asked this time, there were only about 2 and there is no way he could figure out our volunteer from them. So Keith asked the same questions again and we got to see the boys answers. Volunteer had amber for fave colour, Chris had orange. It is orange apparently and they asked how he felt about that colour and if he could come round to it. Dream job - Volunteer had mechanical engineer whilst Chris had dog assassin. Had our volunteer considered that as a career path before? Nope. Well now he can. Finally worst fear. Our volunteer said failure. Chris took sometime to write this one down and he said "In bed with a girl and his thingy won't work and the girl turns out to be his sister." That is his worst fear. Clearly. Chris can definitely read people.
Finally they told us it was exam time. They wanted to see how much we had learned. So lovely Keith came round again and handed out our exam papers. They told us to look it over, and gave us some time to get the answers. Let me tell you I heard so many "what the fuck"'s in relation to the exam paper. People were confused as hell. But then our time was up and Chris told us that before BTM we couldn't answer any of these questions but now we can. And we got them all right! On the screen behind the boys they had 1-7 with correct written beside them. Wooooooo!
Our exam paper.
Here's an example of a question:
1. Which of the following is a characteristic of the Hardy-Weinberg law?
a] mating between species occurs at a set rate
b] Migration is a considerable factor
c] Mutation occurs at the locus
d] Genotype selection does not occur at the locus.
:S
That was our session over. It went really quick and was hilarious. I realise I probably didn't get over a lot of the comedy on this but that's because most of it came from their random comments which are impossible to remember. They were that random. The entire thing was random. But amazing.
I hope this helps people understand a little what goes on.
Why must trains to Inverness be £30 return? I want to see WAS there as well! God dammit!
I am about to buy an Editors ticket though. Yay!