I really doubt that my one and only soulmate is out there right now waiting for me.
So this would probably stir up trouble if I actually had people reading this right now, but I figure I might as well work out something that I've had stewing in my mind for a while. And who knows, maybe this will help someone someday. But probably not.
Ok, so...
I've thought for a while now (and occasionally said) that I find the idea that there is one true soulmate for each and every person on the planet incredibly depressing and off-putting.
What if you screw up your one chance with that person? What if life brings you in opposite directions? What if you aren't ready for this person the entire time you know him or her? There's too much potential for true regret. And I really don't think that it's possible for people to suddenly find that they loved someone earlier in their life less because they have suddenly met their one true love--it's too dismissive of personal growth and environmental changes and, to some extent, attacks my faith in humanity to grow and evolve on a personal level.
I've heard wonderful stories of widows and widowers falling in love again after losing their previous lifemates and being in love with someone wholly in both sections of their lives. I will sound stupid for saying this, but I have only within the past eight years begun getting over my younger loves and crushes (from 18+ years ago). That is, I feel comfortable in believing that my "crushes," regardless of how young I was at that time, were truly people I loved. What has happened is that we have all evolved and regardless of the fact that that has not brought us closer together I still believe that this was love. True love. Deep love. But the needs and values I had then I do not necessarily have now and, anyway, the people I have loved were not static in their growth either, so these people have simply evolved into new people in my life (once again, regardless of whether or not they are currently or actively involved in it).
So maybe I will meet my soulmate in the future--hopefully at a time when we are both ready for the situation. When we are truly soulmates. And if not, maybe I'll meet another soulmate. Or maybe I've met someone who will become my soulmate--because I can only hope that people become soulmates. And heck, who's to say that soulmates need to be in a romantic relationship? If we remove the concept of romantic entanglement from soulmates, I would almost definitely say that I've found several soulmates already. And maybe that's just how I need to look at it. And if it helps, maybe that's how others should look at it.
(And no, this is not in regards to me being frustrated with my love life. This is simply something I've been mulling over for a while and needed to work out so I could say this kind of thing to people who encourage me with "you'll find your soulmate one day." Because, once again, that's too bleak for me. I prefer to keep the paths to the future open.)