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OLYMPICS WIN GOLD MEDAL FOR SUCKING
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The Olympic Games start in August and I wonder if it's possible that I could
care less about anything? I know what you're thinking. What about the Tour
de France? Clearly, that is the lamer than the Olympics.
Yes, the Tour de France does suck. It's long, boring, and has the word
France in it. But on a positive note, in spite of the fact that a cancer
ridden American is supposed to win, there is virtually no coverage of the
event in the U.S. It is easy to pretend it doesn't exist.
But the Olympics, they just won't shut up about it. It is full of athletes
you've never heard of, playing games that you don't care about, for really
lame prizes. What's the point? Even on Fear Factor you get $100,000 and
all you have to do is eat pig scrotum- not dedicate 18 years, 12 hours a
day/7 days a week to jumping over a stick.
At the Olympics, maybe, you get ten seconds of fame. You want ten seconds
of fame so bad, marry Britney Spears. Then if you're incredibly lucky, you
get a shiny, gold necklace. Big deal. If you want to wear a big, gold
medallion- go work for Ja Rule. Not only do you get a necklace, but you get
a 9 millimeter, a crack pipe, and unlimited blowjobs from skanky, preteen
groupies.
It is un-American to be the best at something and not get paid. If you're
such a great runner; go play football. If you're so great at throwing a
javelin; can't you learn to throw a slider? And if you're such a great,
male gymnast; why not make gay porn?
How can we compete with other countries where the citizens clearly have
nothing better to do than train for the Olympics. Africans are chasing
kangaroos all day just to get to work. The women on the Taiwanese ping pong
team can serve a ping pong ball at close to 97 miles per hour, and that's
just using their assholes.
We have Playstation in America, not to mention Playstation II. Do we really
have time to spend throwing a discus, or learning the rules to arcane games
like soccer?
Why are there so many great swimmers in Europe? Because they hope that one
day they can swim to America, collect welfare, and eat Funyuns and Poptarts.
It makes sense that other countries actually like the Olympics because for
one fleeting instance they can compete with America. When Americans want
to compete on the International level we invade your country, arrest your
leader, burn down your homes, and murder your people. That's the American
way.
Go for the gold? Go fuck yourself.
-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
In other news... well, there is none. Not from the Embassy anyways, i've been in touch and am waiting to hear back with any updates. I'm still not actually too worried since they did offer me the job and recently sent the 'medical check = yay!' letter to me. It just sucks that they're taking so long for the security check, especially when the guy who interviewed me for it led me to think it would be 4-6 weeks.... try 8-10 instead >.<
Ah well, thoroughly enjoying City of Heroes, a MMOG that's *gasp* FUN! And off to see Spidey 2 tonight then out for Thai tomorrow for my friend Tims birthday! It shall be a good weekend methinks, even if I do have to drag myself out of my hermitlike shell. Bah humbug!
OLYMPICS WIN GOLD MEDAL FOR SUCKING
---------------------------------------------------------------
The Olympic Games start in August and I wonder if it's possible that I could
care less about anything? I know what you're thinking. What about the Tour
de France? Clearly, that is the lamer than the Olympics.
Yes, the Tour de France does suck. It's long, boring, and has the word
France in it. But on a positive note, in spite of the fact that a cancer
ridden American is supposed to win, there is virtually no coverage of the
event in the U.S. It is easy to pretend it doesn't exist.
But the Olympics, they just won't shut up about it. It is full of athletes
you've never heard of, playing games that you don't care about, for really
lame prizes. What's the point? Even on Fear Factor you get $100,000 and
all you have to do is eat pig scrotum- not dedicate 18 years, 12 hours a
day/7 days a week to jumping over a stick.
At the Olympics, maybe, you get ten seconds of fame. You want ten seconds
of fame so bad, marry Britney Spears. Then if you're incredibly lucky, you
get a shiny, gold necklace. Big deal. If you want to wear a big, gold
medallion- go work for Ja Rule. Not only do you get a necklace, but you get
a 9 millimeter, a crack pipe, and unlimited blowjobs from skanky, preteen
groupies.
It is un-American to be the best at something and not get paid. If you're
such a great runner; go play football. If you're so great at throwing a
javelin; can't you learn to throw a slider? And if you're such a great,
male gymnast; why not make gay porn?
How can we compete with other countries where the citizens clearly have
nothing better to do than train for the Olympics. Africans are chasing
kangaroos all day just to get to work. The women on the Taiwanese ping pong
team can serve a ping pong ball at close to 97 miles per hour, and that's
just using their assholes.
We have Playstation in America, not to mention Playstation II. Do we really
have time to spend throwing a discus, or learning the rules to arcane games
like soccer?
Why are there so many great swimmers in Europe? Because they hope that one
day they can swim to America, collect welfare, and eat Funyuns and Poptarts.
It makes sense that other countries actually like the Olympics because for
one fleeting instance they can compete with America. When Americans want
to compete on the International level we invade your country, arrest your
leader, burn down your homes, and murder your people. That's the American
way.
Go for the gold? Go fuck yourself.
-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
In other news... well, there is none. Not from the Embassy anyways, i've been in touch and am waiting to hear back with any updates. I'm still not actually too worried since they did offer me the job and recently sent the 'medical check = yay!' letter to me. It just sucks that they're taking so long for the security check, especially when the guy who interviewed me for it led me to think it would be 4-6 weeks.... try 8-10 instead >.<
Ah well, thoroughly enjoying City of Heroes, a MMOG that's *gasp* FUN! And off to see Spidey 2 tonight then out for Thai tomorrow for my friend Tims birthday! It shall be a good weekend methinks, even if I do have to drag myself out of my hermitlike shell. Bah humbug!