a little bit of faith
just a little bit of faith
2nd part
Within next days, Yesung was the one to create a distance, confused and scared about the reasons why Kyuhyun kissed him. It wasn’t that unpleasant, but there was a fact that he had somebody by his side and even not to mention student-teacher relationship they were in. He didn’t know how to reject him if there such a thing as confession will occur. Yesung skipped the next time they should meet, excusing that he had a headache and with that he luckily got home. That evening he called Kangin just because he felt like doing that, but his phone was switched off.
That day when they should talk came very fast.
One lunch break he found himself alone with Kyuhyun in his class. He didn’t know how it happened but there was an arguing going on in the class, and Kyuhyun was the one who punched a guy. Yesung, being a good teacher, of course, made him to stay after the rest left.
“You’re being irresponsible, doing such things.”
“It wasn’t my fault. You saw pretty clearly that he initiated that,” Kyuhyun argued back.
“But the smart ones always know how to get out of situation.”
“He insulted my friends.” Kyuhyun bristled with anger that still hasn’t left his mind, the words fresh in his memory.
“Was it worth to punch him then?” Yesung asked calmly, eying the younger man.
“Yes, definitely. It was Sungmin he insulted, too.”
“Is there something special about the guy?”
“He is my friend,” Kyuhyun stated simply, stuffing his hands in his pants pockets, and looked away from Yesung. He started to nibble on his lower lip, thinking of how to start what he actually wanted to say.
Yesung had made up his mind. “You can go, then. I won’t punish you this time; I guess he’ll have his own revenge in his mind.”
“Teacher… I think I should say something.” Yesung drew a long breathe. Here might come that what he was afraid of. “It may not sound right or in fact you just reject me, actually we just know each other just for some weeks. Don’t know how much weeks, I just have lost the count of time.” He stopped, flushed a little. “Teacher, I really like you.”
Yesung closed his eyes for a second, sighing, and opened them again. There wasn’t anything he could tell in such a situation to this guy. Kyuhyun might have waited such an answer that’s why he continued, “I know, you think of and ways how to say no, that’s why I want to apologize about the kiss that day. I shouldn’t have done that. Sorry.”
It was hard to do for him, Yesung judged from his face expression and the way he was avoiding his eyes very enthusiastically. “You’re a good person, I sense. There will be someone else you’ll find out here. I’m not the one for you. Just look at Sungmin, then you’ll notice something about the guy you haven’t before.” Yesung said those words even thought Kyuhyun’s face darkened and fell.
“Sungmin?” he re-asked, looking up suddenly. Even when inside hurt as hell, he was able to look in YeSung’s eyes that particular moment.
“Aha…” Yesung nodded. “Then can we stay friends with each other?”
“We can,” Kyuhyun answered without any emotion, not sure about that.
Whole two weeks later, it was YeSung’s luck to be out in a sunny spring day after his day in the school had ended almost successfully. Kyuhyun showed progress when the first days after their talk he was the one keeping a distance.
His cell phone buzzed in his jacket’s pocket, yanking him out of his thoughts; someone was calling him. The ID was unknown, but despite of that, without much thinking, he picked it up.
“Hello.” No answer. “Hello?”
“I missed your voice,” a husky voice filled his ear from other side of the line. Yesung immediately recognized that voice, that tone and his heart beat fastened. None of them said a word- Yesung out of his confusion and mixed feelings he had, but Kangin was happy to reach him at last.
“I thought you disappeared…” Yesung started after a long pause.
“I tried to reach but you never picked up.”
“I didn’t know it was you.” he regret not calling back, to find out who it was, but it was just a history now. The future was right in his hands, in the way he would decide to answer to this Kangin’s call. “How are you doing?”
“Still fine but without you not that good, actually,” Kangin’s words fell in a background when a sudden loud thud reached YeSung’s ear from the other side of line and he could hear voices from there, men voices.
Kangin cursed loudly, “Shit! Shit! No good!”
Someone shouted in the background, “Get him.”
Kangin’s voice again filed his ear, sounding almost despair “I’ll call you later, if only I be able to… Lo-” the line got cut. Everything fell in a silence and YeSung’s phone fell in his lap. He stared at it, stared hard; his mind working on its fullest trying to fit the missing pieces of the puzzle. What was going on there? Why Kangin so suddenly hang up, sounded so despair wanting to tell those last words? The only part of it all why his stomach clenched painfully was the line- if only I be able to. Nothing sounded right, not at all and he was worried now, with a wish in his mind to be there where Kangin was.
“Worried about something?” the sound of a man’s voice from his right made him to look to the side, with all that seriousness his face held that moment. Kyuhyun had sat down beside him on this park bench, when there were a lot of other park benches free, asking- is he alright?
“Not really.”
“You’ll need much more than a strained smile to cover up your seriousness and that worried aura that surround you now,” Kyuhyun was fast to notice all those things regarding to him.
“Oh really? I don’t think this is your business.”
“But I’m your student and remember you said- friend, also. Students should help their teachers just like teachers help their students, you know, symbiosis.”
Yesung made an attempt of a light chuckle from the usage of biological word there, but that didn’t come out right, so he stopped.
“Those are my personal matters, nothing related to school. I don’t feel like sharing it.”
“But we can today. You’ll feel better. I’ll start if you’re not willing to do that…can I?”
Yesung hesitated a little. He shouldn’t let him- that’s what his mind told him- but in the end he just nodded a little, approving. It might be better than to go with a student to have a dinner.
“Oh well then…Sungmin is completely angry at me about some stupid thing.”
“It can’t be that bad,” Yesung reassured.
“I’d wish for that, but no, he had been pretty clear. Note that he doesn’t want to talk with me now.” Kyuhyun looked somewhere in the direction of the grass field where children were playing and their mothers watching them. Yesung observed him from the profile. The sudden turn of his head, Kyuhyun made to look at Yesung, was so unexpected, Yesung needed to back away a bit. “Now tell me or else you’ll owe me a dinner. I’m starving actually.”
“I…” Yesung hesitated.
“It can’t be that bad if you tell me. I can promise to don’t tell anyone if you want to.”
“Oh…ok. But-”
“Or else it’s your treat.”
“Fine. I just got a call from my boyfriend who hadn’t came in a touch with me for about two weeks and I sense that he is in a trouble right now from the way he talked and that someone just came in, shouted to get him and the line got cut off … and I’m worried now,” Yesung had talked without much thinking, surprised how words just left his mouth, telling what he didn’t dare to himself.
Kyuhyun wasn’t doing any of the reactions Yesung thought he would. In fact, he turned a little thoughtful, not mocking or laughing, just like that bad guy he uses to act in front of other classmates. He didn’t seem hurt, even thought his face darkened a little actually, when he observed him closer.
“The fact itself that you have a boyfriend surprised me.”
“What don’t like one who could have someone by his side?”
“I thought about being gay.”
“Oh…wait… you won’t tell that to anybody, right?”
“No, but you’ll have to do something for me.”
Yesung made a mental face palm, cursing his mouth. He must have looked funny like that, talking to himself secretly, that Kyuhyun laughed lightly. “Nothing of what you might think about. But that’s later, when I come up with that, ok?”
Yesung gulped, “Ok.”
“I think it may be a serious problem. You should call back, maybe later. But you should. Do you know where he is now?”
Yesung turned thoughtful, trying to recall Kangin’s words. “He said that he has business to do but didn’t tell where.”
“I’m pretty sure it will end up well.”
“I don’t know. It maybe won’t be such a successful ending for him when he’ll get in my hands.”
“Oh that’s a matter of the depth of your both relationship,” Kyuhyun said and Yesung looked at him a little strangely. From where he just got so serious and smart with talking?
When he didn’t find anything to say in answer, Yesung just spit out, “You’re actually a help for me.”
“Surprised?”
“Yes, students usually just make teachers life harder.”
“Come on, we’re not that bad.”
“But some of us think so.”
“He or she in that matter then isn’t making our life better as well, I guess.”
“Like teacher like student.”
“Right.” Kyuhyun agreed with him, and Yesung was caught in the magnificence what was his wide smile. “Oh right,” Kyuhyun remembered something, “I entered a singing contest in our school. I finally got courage when you praised me back then.”
“That’s very smart from your side. You’ve got a talent, I say.”
“And how do you know that?”
“I know pretty much about singing and such, since I like to sing as well.”
“Oh wow,” Kyuhyun glanced at his wristwatch, “oh no I’m already late… Bye, I’ll be going. My friends are waiting.”
“Bye,” Yesung answered with a little smile, watching how Kyuhyun rushed away.
“Yesung, oh here you are,” Leeteuk was the first to rush to his table in their usual meeting place- a small cafeteria. After him came Hankyung and for a surprise ShiWon who being Hankyung’s boyfriend usually didn’t show up in their company but Heechul did, who right now was here, in fact.
“Hi to you all,” he greeted. ShiWon and Hankyung sat opposite him but Leeteuk took a seat on his left, the last continuing to talk after Yesung had greeted them. “So what’s new? I haven’t met you for some days already. Been busy or what that didn’t contact me?”
“Oh well, nothing big. Just that the work with my students kept me occupied the whole week,” he skipped the part about Kangin, finding that it was not a place to talk about it. Kangin had texted him yesterday a short phrase, a bit mysterious- still fine, baby and miss ya ^^
“Oh that’s why. Besides, where is Kangin?”
“I was wondering the same,” ShiWon spoke from his place, while holding Hankyung’s hand under the table. The older man smiled wide while moving closer to ShiWon almost unnoticeably. They looked so happy together, that Yesung had to force his eyes away from them.
“Oh he? I haven’t seen him for days. Don’t know actually.” He smiled a little, his eyes wondering away, to look outside through the window.
“Did you guys weren’t…um-ouch! - in a…oh never mind.” Leeteuk shot a glare at Hankyung who had kicked his leg under the table with a purpose, and when he got the hint, he shut up.
“So how were you three doing?” Yesung changed the subject quickly.
“There weren’t much to do these days. Once Heechul asked for us to go with him to a party. I didn’t, my work was calling but they two were there.” He pointed at the happy couple from whom just Hankyung lifted his head up to look at Yesung.
“Oh no, don’t remind me of that,” Hankyung winced a little and went on his story about the party, telling it almost to details. While he was talking, ShiWon took the newspaper from the table on his left and looked through it. On the pervious page from the back, something caught his attention- a blurred picture of two men. The article said that they were killed in an attack of criminals, there were various things said but not once mentioned who they were, just the fact that there was some mission for them to do, but it didn’t go well. He took a closer look to a picture, noticing something familiar in the face of one of them. He gasped loudly, when realization hit him.
Hankyung stopped to talk, and all of their eyes were curiously watching him, expecting to say something. ShiWon looked straight at Yesung, whispering, “I’m sorry…”
He threw the newspaper on the table for Yesung to look at picture. It didn’t take any longer than a few seconds, before Yesung recognized the face. He felt a pang in his heart.
“Kangin…”
2nd part
Within next days, Yesung was the one to create a distance, confused and scared about the reasons why Kyuhyun kissed him. It wasn’t that unpleasant, but there was a fact that he had somebody by his side and even not to mention student-teacher relationship they were in. He didn’t know how to reject him if there such a thing as confession will occur. Yesung skipped the next time they should meet, excusing that he had a headache and with that he luckily got home. That evening he called Kangin just because he felt like doing that, but his phone was switched off.
That day when they should talk came very fast.
One lunch break he found himself alone with Kyuhyun in his class. He didn’t know how it happened but there was an arguing going on in the class, and Kyuhyun was the one who punched a guy. Yesung, being a good teacher, of course, made him to stay after the rest left.
“You’re being irresponsible, doing such things.”
“It wasn’t my fault. You saw pretty clearly that he initiated that,” Kyuhyun argued back.
“But the smart ones always know how to get out of situation.”
“He insulted my friends.” Kyuhyun bristled with anger that still hasn’t left his mind, the words fresh in his memory.
“Was it worth to punch him then?” Yesung asked calmly, eying the younger man.
“Yes, definitely. It was Sungmin he insulted, too.”
“Is there something special about the guy?”
“He is my friend,” Kyuhyun stated simply, stuffing his hands in his pants pockets, and looked away from Yesung. He started to nibble on his lower lip, thinking of how to start what he actually wanted to say.
Yesung had made up his mind. “You can go, then. I won’t punish you this time; I guess he’ll have his own revenge in his mind.”
“Teacher… I think I should say something.” Yesung drew a long breathe. Here might come that what he was afraid of. “It may not sound right or in fact you just reject me, actually we just know each other just for some weeks. Don’t know how much weeks, I just have lost the count of time.” He stopped, flushed a little. “Teacher, I really like you.”
Yesung closed his eyes for a second, sighing, and opened them again. There wasn’t anything he could tell in such a situation to this guy. Kyuhyun might have waited such an answer that’s why he continued, “I know, you think of and ways how to say no, that’s why I want to apologize about the kiss that day. I shouldn’t have done that. Sorry.”
It was hard to do for him, Yesung judged from his face expression and the way he was avoiding his eyes very enthusiastically. “You’re a good person, I sense. There will be someone else you’ll find out here. I’m not the one for you. Just look at Sungmin, then you’ll notice something about the guy you haven’t before.” Yesung said those words even thought Kyuhyun’s face darkened and fell.
“Sungmin?” he re-asked, looking up suddenly. Even when inside hurt as hell, he was able to look in YeSung’s eyes that particular moment.
“Aha…” Yesung nodded. “Then can we stay friends with each other?”
“We can,” Kyuhyun answered without any emotion, not sure about that.
Whole two weeks later, it was YeSung’s luck to be out in a sunny spring day after his day in the school had ended almost successfully. Kyuhyun showed progress when the first days after their talk he was the one keeping a distance.
His cell phone buzzed in his jacket’s pocket, yanking him out of his thoughts; someone was calling him. The ID was unknown, but despite of that, without much thinking, he picked it up.
“Hello.” No answer. “Hello?”
“I missed your voice,” a husky voice filled his ear from other side of the line. Yesung immediately recognized that voice, that tone and his heart beat fastened. None of them said a word- Yesung out of his confusion and mixed feelings he had, but Kangin was happy to reach him at last.
“I thought you disappeared…” Yesung started after a long pause.
“I tried to reach but you never picked up.”
“I didn’t know it was you.” he regret not calling back, to find out who it was, but it was just a history now. The future was right in his hands, in the way he would decide to answer to this Kangin’s call. “How are you doing?”
“Still fine but without you not that good, actually,” Kangin’s words fell in a background when a sudden loud thud reached YeSung’s ear from the other side of line and he could hear voices from there, men voices.
Kangin cursed loudly, “Shit! Shit! No good!”
Someone shouted in the background, “Get him.”
Kangin’s voice again filed his ear, sounding almost despair “I’ll call you later, if only I be able to… Lo-” the line got cut. Everything fell in a silence and YeSung’s phone fell in his lap. He stared at it, stared hard; his mind working on its fullest trying to fit the missing pieces of the puzzle. What was going on there? Why Kangin so suddenly hang up, sounded so despair wanting to tell those last words? The only part of it all why his stomach clenched painfully was the line- if only I be able to. Nothing sounded right, not at all and he was worried now, with a wish in his mind to be there where Kangin was.
“Worried about something?” the sound of a man’s voice from his right made him to look to the side, with all that seriousness his face held that moment. Kyuhyun had sat down beside him on this park bench, when there were a lot of other park benches free, asking- is he alright?
“Not really.”
“You’ll need much more than a strained smile to cover up your seriousness and that worried aura that surround you now,” Kyuhyun was fast to notice all those things regarding to him.
“Oh really? I don’t think this is your business.”
“But I’m your student and remember you said- friend, also. Students should help their teachers just like teachers help their students, you know, symbiosis.”
Yesung made an attempt of a light chuckle from the usage of biological word there, but that didn’t come out right, so he stopped.
“Those are my personal matters, nothing related to school. I don’t feel like sharing it.”
“But we can today. You’ll feel better. I’ll start if you’re not willing to do that…can I?”
Yesung hesitated a little. He shouldn’t let him- that’s what his mind told him- but in the end he just nodded a little, approving. It might be better than to go with a student to have a dinner.
“Oh well then…Sungmin is completely angry at me about some stupid thing.”
“It can’t be that bad,” Yesung reassured.
“I’d wish for that, but no, he had been pretty clear. Note that he doesn’t want to talk with me now.” Kyuhyun looked somewhere in the direction of the grass field where children were playing and their mothers watching them. Yesung observed him from the profile. The sudden turn of his head, Kyuhyun made to look at Yesung, was so unexpected, Yesung needed to back away a bit. “Now tell me or else you’ll owe me a dinner. I’m starving actually.”
“I…” Yesung hesitated.
“It can’t be that bad if you tell me. I can promise to don’t tell anyone if you want to.”
“Oh…ok. But-”
“Or else it’s your treat.”
“Fine. I just got a call from my boyfriend who hadn’t came in a touch with me for about two weeks and I sense that he is in a trouble right now from the way he talked and that someone just came in, shouted to get him and the line got cut off … and I’m worried now,” Yesung had talked without much thinking, surprised how words just left his mouth, telling what he didn’t dare to himself.
Kyuhyun wasn’t doing any of the reactions Yesung thought he would. In fact, he turned a little thoughtful, not mocking or laughing, just like that bad guy he uses to act in front of other classmates. He didn’t seem hurt, even thought his face darkened a little actually, when he observed him closer.
“The fact itself that you have a boyfriend surprised me.”
“What don’t like one who could have someone by his side?”
“I thought about being gay.”
“Oh…wait… you won’t tell that to anybody, right?”
“No, but you’ll have to do something for me.”
Yesung made a mental face palm, cursing his mouth. He must have looked funny like that, talking to himself secretly, that Kyuhyun laughed lightly. “Nothing of what you might think about. But that’s later, when I come up with that, ok?”
Yesung gulped, “Ok.”
“I think it may be a serious problem. You should call back, maybe later. But you should. Do you know where he is now?”
Yesung turned thoughtful, trying to recall Kangin’s words. “He said that he has business to do but didn’t tell where.”
“I’m pretty sure it will end up well.”
“I don’t know. It maybe won’t be such a successful ending for him when he’ll get in my hands.”
“Oh that’s a matter of the depth of your both relationship,” Kyuhyun said and Yesung looked at him a little strangely. From where he just got so serious and smart with talking?
When he didn’t find anything to say in answer, Yesung just spit out, “You’re actually a help for me.”
“Surprised?”
“Yes, students usually just make teachers life harder.”
“Come on, we’re not that bad.”
“But some of us think so.”
“He or she in that matter then isn’t making our life better as well, I guess.”
“Like teacher like student.”
“Right.” Kyuhyun agreed with him, and Yesung was caught in the magnificence what was his wide smile. “Oh right,” Kyuhyun remembered something, “I entered a singing contest in our school. I finally got courage when you praised me back then.”
“That’s very smart from your side. You’ve got a talent, I say.”
“And how do you know that?”
“I know pretty much about singing and such, since I like to sing as well.”
“Oh wow,” Kyuhyun glanced at his wristwatch, “oh no I’m already late… Bye, I’ll be going. My friends are waiting.”
“Bye,” Yesung answered with a little smile, watching how Kyuhyun rushed away.
“Yesung, oh here you are,” Leeteuk was the first to rush to his table in their usual meeting place- a small cafeteria. After him came Hankyung and for a surprise ShiWon who being Hankyung’s boyfriend usually didn’t show up in their company but Heechul did, who right now was here, in fact.
“Hi to you all,” he greeted. ShiWon and Hankyung sat opposite him but Leeteuk took a seat on his left, the last continuing to talk after Yesung had greeted them. “So what’s new? I haven’t met you for some days already. Been busy or what that didn’t contact me?”
“Oh well, nothing big. Just that the work with my students kept me occupied the whole week,” he skipped the part about Kangin, finding that it was not a place to talk about it. Kangin had texted him yesterday a short phrase, a bit mysterious- still fine, baby and miss ya ^^
“Oh that’s why. Besides, where is Kangin?”
“I was wondering the same,” ShiWon spoke from his place, while holding Hankyung’s hand under the table. The older man smiled wide while moving closer to ShiWon almost unnoticeably. They looked so happy together, that Yesung had to force his eyes away from them.
“Oh he? I haven’t seen him for days. Don’t know actually.” He smiled a little, his eyes wondering away, to look outside through the window.
“Did you guys weren’t…um-ouch! - in a…oh never mind.” Leeteuk shot a glare at Hankyung who had kicked his leg under the table with a purpose, and when he got the hint, he shut up.
“So how were you three doing?” Yesung changed the subject quickly.
“There weren’t much to do these days. Once Heechul asked for us to go with him to a party. I didn’t, my work was calling but they two were there.” He pointed at the happy couple from whom just Hankyung lifted his head up to look at Yesung.
“Oh no, don’t remind me of that,” Hankyung winced a little and went on his story about the party, telling it almost to details. While he was talking, ShiWon took the newspaper from the table on his left and looked through it. On the pervious page from the back, something caught his attention- a blurred picture of two men. The article said that they were killed in an attack of criminals, there were various things said but not once mentioned who they were, just the fact that there was some mission for them to do, but it didn’t go well. He took a closer look to a picture, noticing something familiar in the face of one of them. He gasped loudly, when realization hit him.
Hankyung stopped to talk, and all of their eyes were curiously watching him, expecting to say something. ShiWon looked straight at Yesung, whispering, “I’m sorry…”
He threw the newspaper on the table for Yesung to look at picture. It didn’t take any longer than a few seconds, before Yesung recognized the face. He felt a pang in his heart.
“Kangin…”