Fic: Terri & Ken Plus 10
Title: Terri & Ken Plus 10
Fandom: Glee
Pairings: Will/Emma, Terri/Ken
Rating: G
Words: 1,620
Disclaimer: Glee belongs to Ryan Murphy. The prompt belongs to a brilliant anon from the glee_fluff_meme
Beta: underhandycat0, without whose endorsement I would not be able to buy my hovercraft.
Summary: Five years after adopting Quinn's baby, Emma and Will are happily married and expecting a second daughter. Channel hopping whilst on bed-rest, Emma is alarmed to land on Discovery Health's newest reality series, 'Terri and Ken Plus 10'.
Terri & Ken Plus 10
Zipping through endless channels of home births and hospital deliveries, it occurred to Emma that bed-rest was definitely a misnomer. Between preparing for labor and attempting to pick out a name, she had rarely felt more exhausted. A particularly agonized scream had her sinking back into the pillows in fright, jabbing at the mute button and reaching instead for her ever-depleting shortlist.
It had been so much easier with their first daughter - physically, at least, if not emotionally. Adopting Quinn Fabray’s little girl had neatly bypassed the trauma of labour, the very thought of which was currently threatening to leave Emma catatonic. They’d let her choose the name, which had almost turned out to be a catastrophic mistake when Quinn had spent a week deliberating and Puck had pushed adamantly for Buffy the whole time. But it hadn’t been Buffy they’d proudly brought home, nor had it been his firm second favorite, Lara Croft-Schuester. It had been Eva, their beautiful little girl, who seemed to have grown from a newborn into a precocious five-year-old much sooner than she had any right to, presumably while their backs were turned.
This time, responsibility for naming was all down to them, and while friends and acquaintances had freely offered a plethora of suggestions, none had yet proved helpful. Emma smiled as she scanned the list, tracing her index finger along the lines she’d drawn through the names Rachel had emailed over. Celine wasn’t entirely without its merits, but along with Barbra, Cher and Judy, it had soon been discarded from consideration. Kurt had sent a congratulatory greeting card printed on expensive Parisian parchment, but his own contributions of Chanel, Prada and Dior had met with a similar fate, as had Mercedes’ hopefully tongue-in-cheek addition of Banana Republic.
It was much easier to dismiss names from a distance than face-to-face. While Emma knew how much Will valued the weekends Finn drove down from Columbus for dinner with them, she’d recently begun to dread his visits. It was hard to disappoint such heartfelt eagerness, especially knowing how much careful consideration he’d put in to his suggestions, but no matter how sincerely Will pretended to agree that Speedwagon Schuester was an excellent choice, Emma would sooner name their second daughter after Sue Sylvester.
She considered the names remaining. Isabelle, Sophie, Georgia, Sarah, along with a dozen others that were all nice enough in their own way, but none quite right. Realizing she was unlikely to make any progress until Will returned with Eva from kindergarten, Emma set the list down again in favor of the TV remote. She was quick to cycle through several channels whose content involved far too much placenta and tearing for her liking, settling instead on Discovery Health, which was currently in the middle of an unobjectionable commercial about hand sanitizer.
“Coming up next,” the narrator announced as the station segued into its late-afternoon scheduling, “a sneak peek at our all-new reality series, Terri and Ken Plus 10.”
Emma gasped, fingers curling into the soft linen duvet cover. There was no way - it couldn’t possibly be…
It was.
As Emma watched wide-eyed, a production line of well-groomed children beamed at the camera.
“Welcome to Terri and Ken Plus 10!”
“That’s you, mommy!” One of the eldest children giggled, turning to wave somewhere off camera, and there they were. Will’s ex-wife, and the man Emma had very nearly married. Together, and with enough children that Emma was temporarily rendered incapable of rational thought. Her first instinct was to reach for the phone and call Will, but something held her back, and instead she stared transfixed as the show launched into a series of behind-the-scenes clips interspersed with live interview footage.
When the first commercial break began a few minutes later, Emma realized she’d hardly taken in a word. Her mind was reeling, trying to calculate whether they could possibly have seen this coming. Ken had left Lima almost a full five years ago, once Emma had withdrawn her resignation from McKinley High. At the time she’d been overwhelmed with guilt, but she had never expected this. Terri had stuck around for six months following her separation from Will, before moving to the West Coast in search of a better therapist. Evidently, she’d found Ken.
“Welcome back!” A flush-faced presenter smiled at the camera, reminding viewers: “We’re here getting acquainted with the stars of our new reality series, Terri and Ken Plus 10. Terri, why don’t you introduce us to the children?”
“The - the children?” Terri faltered, seemingly confused that anyone could want to redirect attention away from her. Beside her, Ken leaned forward a little, scooping a nearby infant onto his lap.
“This one here is -”
“Honey,” Terri interrupted, reaching across to tug the child towards her. “I’ll do the introductions, okay? This is our little Nebraska. Over there are his brothers, Colorado and Utah." The camera panned back as she spoke, revealing a room full of children who appeared to be alternately amused and bemused in equal measure. "Then we have the quads, Missouri, Minnesota, Arizona and Virginia. Beside them are the twins - the Carolinas.”
“They’re both called Carolina?” The interviewer’s smile was wide, but Emma’s line of work meant that she was used to deducing hidden emotion. It didn’t take a guidance counsellor to tell that she was barely concealing her alarm. Emma very much sympathized.
“Carolina is their middle name,” Terri explained, as though it ought to have been obvious. “North is in pink, and South is in aquamarine.”
“…Great! And who's this handsome young man?” The interviewer extended an arm, gently rocking a baby strapped into an upright seat.
Terri’s lips went taut. “This is Michigan,” she said, folding her arms and adjusting her position away from Ken, whose eyebrows had risen in surprise.
“Sweetie, I thought we agreed we’d name this one something from my culture?”
The camera swung away to focus on the children, but not before capturing the sharp glare Terri shot him as they began to argue in stage whispers.
“Honey,” Emma heard, even as the interviewer crossed the room and began to speak with the quadruplets, who appeared to be the eldest. “We’ve been over this. Their surname is Tanaka. That’s okay. It’s diverse, and Michigan Tanaka is perfect for a multi-cultural audience. But do you think anybody is going to want to watch little Pearl Harbor Tanaka? That’s going to make the viewers feel bad. Do you want them to feel bad? Because low ratings means no advertising revenue and then how are we going to afford our yacht?”
“You’re right,” Ken said, and although the camera was still trained on the children, Emma could perfectly envision his hangdog expression. She felt a twinge of pity as he apologized, relieved when the scene changed to pre-recorded footage.
“What inspired you to have such a large family?”
The interviewer was noticeably less frazzled as the new segment began. In this scene, Terri was alone, running her fingers through her much shorter haircut as she took center stage once more.
“I used to have fertility problems.” She lowered her eyes and shook her head, before taking a deep breath and continuing: “But once I relaxed a little, I guess they all just came along. My sister has triplets, so multiples run in the family. Luckily, ours didn’t come out ginger. And then once we had four, I realized we could be on to something here.”
“On to something?”
“Mhm! I think it’s what America wants. All the style of Kate Gosselin, plus the cutsey matching Duggar names, without any of the creepy religious agenda. And we’re a great, stable family. We’re not going to make anyone feel bad, like Octomom. My sister Kendra said we could be, ah -” Terri paused, glancing towards the ceiling as she searched for the right words. “Oh that was it. All of the gimmick, with none of the substance.” She smiled widely, pleased with herself, as Emma emitted a strangled laugh. That certainly seemed to sum it up. Yet as the next round of commercials started, it occurred to her that if the substance in question was all the screaming, tearing and crying of the other home health channels, maybe they really were onto something.
“My children are my best friends,” Terri said, as an ad for the show ran. “You hear that, Montana?”
“I’m Minnesota.” The little girl glowered. “We don’t have a Montana.”
“Terri and Ken Plus 10 begins Wednesday at four!”
The sudden sound of the key in the lock had Emma hitting the off button, even before an enthused “Mommy!” trilled out from the entry hall. She called back a greeting, smiling as Eva ran in to press a kiss to her cheek and pat her bump, before darting out again to use the bathroom. Will stepped carefully around their little whirlwind, smiling as he perched down on the bed beside Emma.
“How was your day?” He pressed his palm to her bump, eyes crinkling as he leaned in to kiss her.
“It was, ah - it was informative.” Emma nodded, curls bouncing, pleased of the distraction as he noticed the list of names still sitting atop the duvet.
“Are we making progress?” He grinned, scanning the page for new additions.
“Definitely.” Emma took a biro from bedside dresser, cupping a hand around his to turn the page towards her. She felt his eyes on her as she scored three parallel lines through Georgia.
Will pouted. “I kinda liked that one.”
Recapping the pen, Emma shook her head. “Trust me,” she said, “little Speedwagon will definitely thank us for it someday.”
Fandom: Glee
Pairings: Will/Emma, Terri/Ken
Rating: G
Words: 1,620
Disclaimer: Glee belongs to Ryan Murphy. The prompt belongs to a brilliant anon from the glee_fluff_meme
Beta: underhandycat0, without whose endorsement I would not be able to buy my hovercraft.
Summary: Five years after adopting Quinn's baby, Emma and Will are happily married and expecting a second daughter. Channel hopping whilst on bed-rest, Emma is alarmed to land on Discovery Health's newest reality series, 'Terri and Ken Plus 10'.
Terri & Ken Plus 10
Zipping through endless channels of home births and hospital deliveries, it occurred to Emma that bed-rest was definitely a misnomer. Between preparing for labor and attempting to pick out a name, she had rarely felt more exhausted. A particularly agonized scream had her sinking back into the pillows in fright, jabbing at the mute button and reaching instead for her ever-depleting shortlist.
It had been so much easier with their first daughter - physically, at least, if not emotionally. Adopting Quinn Fabray’s little girl had neatly bypassed the trauma of labour, the very thought of which was currently threatening to leave Emma catatonic. They’d let her choose the name, which had almost turned out to be a catastrophic mistake when Quinn had spent a week deliberating and Puck had pushed adamantly for Buffy the whole time. But it hadn’t been Buffy they’d proudly brought home, nor had it been his firm second favorite, Lara Croft-Schuester. It had been Eva, their beautiful little girl, who seemed to have grown from a newborn into a precocious five-year-old much sooner than she had any right to, presumably while their backs were turned.
This time, responsibility for naming was all down to them, and while friends and acquaintances had freely offered a plethora of suggestions, none had yet proved helpful. Emma smiled as she scanned the list, tracing her index finger along the lines she’d drawn through the names Rachel had emailed over. Celine wasn’t entirely without its merits, but along with Barbra, Cher and Judy, it had soon been discarded from consideration. Kurt had sent a congratulatory greeting card printed on expensive Parisian parchment, but his own contributions of Chanel, Prada and Dior had met with a similar fate, as had Mercedes’ hopefully tongue-in-cheek addition of Banana Republic.
It was much easier to dismiss names from a distance than face-to-face. While Emma knew how much Will valued the weekends Finn drove down from Columbus for dinner with them, she’d recently begun to dread his visits. It was hard to disappoint such heartfelt eagerness, especially knowing how much careful consideration he’d put in to his suggestions, but no matter how sincerely Will pretended to agree that Speedwagon Schuester was an excellent choice, Emma would sooner name their second daughter after Sue Sylvester.
She considered the names remaining. Isabelle, Sophie, Georgia, Sarah, along with a dozen others that were all nice enough in their own way, but none quite right. Realizing she was unlikely to make any progress until Will returned with Eva from kindergarten, Emma set the list down again in favor of the TV remote. She was quick to cycle through several channels whose content involved far too much placenta and tearing for her liking, settling instead on Discovery Health, which was currently in the middle of an unobjectionable commercial about hand sanitizer.
“Coming up next,” the narrator announced as the station segued into its late-afternoon scheduling, “a sneak peek at our all-new reality series, Terri and Ken Plus 10.”
Emma gasped, fingers curling into the soft linen duvet cover. There was no way - it couldn’t possibly be…
It was.
As Emma watched wide-eyed, a production line of well-groomed children beamed at the camera.
“Welcome to Terri and Ken Plus 10!”
“That’s you, mommy!” One of the eldest children giggled, turning to wave somewhere off camera, and there they were. Will’s ex-wife, and the man Emma had very nearly married. Together, and with enough children that Emma was temporarily rendered incapable of rational thought. Her first instinct was to reach for the phone and call Will, but something held her back, and instead she stared transfixed as the show launched into a series of behind-the-scenes clips interspersed with live interview footage.
When the first commercial break began a few minutes later, Emma realized she’d hardly taken in a word. Her mind was reeling, trying to calculate whether they could possibly have seen this coming. Ken had left Lima almost a full five years ago, once Emma had withdrawn her resignation from McKinley High. At the time she’d been overwhelmed with guilt, but she had never expected this. Terri had stuck around for six months following her separation from Will, before moving to the West Coast in search of a better therapist. Evidently, she’d found Ken.
“Welcome back!” A flush-faced presenter smiled at the camera, reminding viewers: “We’re here getting acquainted with the stars of our new reality series, Terri and Ken Plus 10. Terri, why don’t you introduce us to the children?”
“The - the children?” Terri faltered, seemingly confused that anyone could want to redirect attention away from her. Beside her, Ken leaned forward a little, scooping a nearby infant onto his lap.
“This one here is -”
“Honey,” Terri interrupted, reaching across to tug the child towards her. “I’ll do the introductions, okay? This is our little Nebraska. Over there are his brothers, Colorado and Utah." The camera panned back as she spoke, revealing a room full of children who appeared to be alternately amused and bemused in equal measure. "Then we have the quads, Missouri, Minnesota, Arizona and Virginia. Beside them are the twins - the Carolinas.”
“They’re both called Carolina?” The interviewer’s smile was wide, but Emma’s line of work meant that she was used to deducing hidden emotion. It didn’t take a guidance counsellor to tell that she was barely concealing her alarm. Emma very much sympathized.
“Carolina is their middle name,” Terri explained, as though it ought to have been obvious. “North is in pink, and South is in aquamarine.”
“…Great! And who's this handsome young man?” The interviewer extended an arm, gently rocking a baby strapped into an upright seat.
Terri’s lips went taut. “This is Michigan,” she said, folding her arms and adjusting her position away from Ken, whose eyebrows had risen in surprise.
“Sweetie, I thought we agreed we’d name this one something from my culture?”
The camera swung away to focus on the children, but not before capturing the sharp glare Terri shot him as they began to argue in stage whispers.
“Honey,” Emma heard, even as the interviewer crossed the room and began to speak with the quadruplets, who appeared to be the eldest. “We’ve been over this. Their surname is Tanaka. That’s okay. It’s diverse, and Michigan Tanaka is perfect for a multi-cultural audience. But do you think anybody is going to want to watch little Pearl Harbor Tanaka? That’s going to make the viewers feel bad. Do you want them to feel bad? Because low ratings means no advertising revenue and then how are we going to afford our yacht?”
“You’re right,” Ken said, and although the camera was still trained on the children, Emma could perfectly envision his hangdog expression. She felt a twinge of pity as he apologized, relieved when the scene changed to pre-recorded footage.
“What inspired you to have such a large family?”
The interviewer was noticeably less frazzled as the new segment began. In this scene, Terri was alone, running her fingers through her much shorter haircut as she took center stage once more.
“I used to have fertility problems.” She lowered her eyes and shook her head, before taking a deep breath and continuing: “But once I relaxed a little, I guess they all just came along. My sister has triplets, so multiples run in the family. Luckily, ours didn’t come out ginger. And then once we had four, I realized we could be on to something here.”
“On to something?”
“Mhm! I think it’s what America wants. All the style of Kate Gosselin, plus the cutsey matching Duggar names, without any of the creepy religious agenda. And we’re a great, stable family. We’re not going to make anyone feel bad, like Octomom. My sister Kendra said we could be, ah -” Terri paused, glancing towards the ceiling as she searched for the right words. “Oh that was it. All of the gimmick, with none of the substance.” She smiled widely, pleased with herself, as Emma emitted a strangled laugh. That certainly seemed to sum it up. Yet as the next round of commercials started, it occurred to her that if the substance in question was all the screaming, tearing and crying of the other home health channels, maybe they really were onto something.
“My children are my best friends,” Terri said, as an ad for the show ran. “You hear that, Montana?”
“I’m Minnesota.” The little girl glowered. “We don’t have a Montana.”
“Terri and Ken Plus 10 begins Wednesday at four!”
The sudden sound of the key in the lock had Emma hitting the off button, even before an enthused “Mommy!” trilled out from the entry hall. She called back a greeting, smiling as Eva ran in to press a kiss to her cheek and pat her bump, before darting out again to use the bathroom. Will stepped carefully around their little whirlwind, smiling as he perched down on the bed beside Emma.
“How was your day?” He pressed his palm to her bump, eyes crinkling as he leaned in to kiss her.
“It was, ah - it was informative.” Emma nodded, curls bouncing, pleased of the distraction as he noticed the list of names still sitting atop the duvet.
“Are we making progress?” He grinned, scanning the page for new additions.
“Definitely.” Emma took a biro from bedside dresser, cupping a hand around his to turn the page towards her. She felt his eyes on her as she scored three parallel lines through Georgia.
Will pouted. “I kinda liked that one.”
Recapping the pen, Emma shook her head. “Trust me,” she said, “little Speedwagon will definitely thank us for it someday.”