I'm obviously really cool and not bored at all.
If I were a month I would be: December
If I were a day of the week I would be: Tuesday
If I were a time of day I would be: Midnight
If I were a planet I would be: Jupiter
If I were a sea animal I would be: a Dolphin
If I were a direction I would be: North East
If I were a piece of furniture I would be: the type of chair or couch that has a phone underneath the arm.
If I were a sin I would be: Lust or Gluttony
If I were a historical figure I would be: Justin Timberlake
If I were a stone, I would be: Ruby
If I were a tree, I would be: Willow
If I were a bird, I would be: Flamingo
If I were a tool, I would be: That thing that tells you whether or not things are crooked or straight.
If I were a flower/plant, I would be: an Orchid
If I were a kind of weather, I would be: Rain when it's sunny outside
If I were a mythical creature, I would be: a Unicorn
If I were a musical instrument, I would be: HOTLIXX
If I were an animal, I would be: 3 Toed SLOTH
If I were a color, I would be: Red
If I were an emotion, I would be: Chipper
If I were a vegetable, I would be: Mushroom
If I were a sound, I would be: picture Jim Carey in Dumb and Dumber making the "most annoying sound in the world"
If I were an element, I would be: fire
If I were a car, I would be: a Volvo
If I were a song, I would be: "Missile" by Blonde Redhead
If I were a movie, I would be directed by: Terry Zwigoff or Wes Craven
If I were a book, I would be written by: Tyler Werrin
If I were a food, I would be: a Burrito from either Adalberto's or Chipotle
If I were a place, I would be: Santa Cruz, Ca
If I were a material, I would be: chartreuse and hot pink polyester
If I were a taste, I would be: spicy
If I were a scent, I would be: Very Sexy
If I were a religion, I would be: Anything as long as John Jolley was the leader
If I were a word, I would be: 'ish
If I were an object, I would be: Jesus bobblehead
If I were a body part I would be: eye balls
If I were a facial expression I would be: intense grimace
If I were a subject in school I would be: Foods
If I were a cartoon character I would be: Jane from Daria
If I were a shape I would be a: rhombus or an obtuse triangle
If I were a number I would be: 88