Marine Surveying pt 2

Mar 09, 2009 00:24

I hate word limits.

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Interview 69

[Recording begins]

INT: Eh? I thought I was done. Did I forget to interview you?

MAN: … uh, yeah!

INT: Okay. I’m terribly sorry, please take a seat.

[Chair scraping]

INT: So, name please?

MAN: Uh… Commodore… Ecad Sagtrop…?

[Rustling paper]

INT: You don’t seem to be in any records…

MAN: Can you blame me for not writing my name down anywhere?

INT: No, not really.

MAN: Got any questions for me?

INT: Actually… no. I didn’t know you were coming.

MAN: Ah.

[Pause]

MAN: Ew, you drink that stuff?!

INT: Well, I am rather thirsty.

MAN: Marine coffee is the most disgusting swill ever.  I recommend adding some milk.

[Door slams]

MAN 1: Uh oh…

MAN 2: Portgas, what are you doing here?!

INT: Ah! It’s Smoker! And Fire Fist!!!

M2: Why do you have a moustache?

M1: It makes me feel handsome.

M2: You look incredibly stupid.

M1: Oh, so I’m sexier without the moustache? Why didn’t you just say so?

M2: Why would I say that?!

M1: Because I’m sexy!

M2: That's circular logic!

M1: Aw, don’t worry, you’re sexy too.

[Somebody coughs]

INT: E-eh?!

[Inappropriate sounds]

INT: OH MY GOODNESS.

[Door slams]

WOM: How could you?!

M2: Oh crud.

WOM: You said you’d love me, and only me!!!

M2: Justice, I’m sorry!

INT: Wait, what?! JUSTICE?!

WOM: Why? Why, Smoker?!

M1: Because I’m irresistibly sexy and really hot.

M2: Shut up, even though that’s technically true. Uh. I mean -- !

WOM: That’s it!  We’re through!!!

[Door slams]

M2: JUSTICE! COME BACK!

INT: This is COMPLETELY @#$%ED UP.

M2: Darn you Portgas for being sexy!  Uh. I mean, for being here!  Wait, why were you here?!

M1: I felt like getting interviewed!

[Pause]

M2: … THE TAPE RECORDER!

M1: Oh. I forgot about that.

M2: ARGH!

INT: Eek!  No!  Not the stick again! [Sobs]

M1: Hey, if you’re going to do something kinky with that -

M2: Shut up!  You!  Interviewing woman!

INT: Yes, sir?!

M2: If any of the contents of this recording goes beyond this room, I WILL HIT YOU.

INT: Eek! I’LL HIDE IT! I WILL! I WILL!

M2: Good.

M1: Smokeeeer…

M2: Fine…

[Inappropriate noises]

INT: Screw this! I’m becoming a restaurant owner!

[Door slams]

[Recording ends]

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End of transcript.

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Aaaaaand done.

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