I hate word limits.
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Interview 69
[Recording begins]
INT: Eh? I thought I was done. Did I forget to interview you?
MAN: … uh, yeah!
INT: Okay. I’m terribly sorry, please take a seat.
[Chair scraping]
INT: So, name please?
MAN: Uh… Commodore… Ecad Sagtrop…?
[Rustling paper]
INT: You don’t seem to be in any records…
MAN: Can you blame me for not writing my name down anywhere?
INT: No, not really.
MAN: Got any questions for me?
INT: Actually… no. I didn’t know you were coming.
MAN: Ah.
[Pause]
MAN: Ew, you drink that stuff?!
INT: Well, I am rather thirsty.
MAN: Marine coffee is the most disgusting swill ever. I recommend adding some milk.
[Door slams]
MAN 1: Uh oh…
MAN 2: Portgas, what are you doing here?!
INT: Ah! It’s Smoker! And Fire Fist!!!
M2: Why do you have a moustache?
M1: It makes me feel handsome.
M2: You look incredibly stupid.
M1: Oh, so I’m sexier without the moustache? Why didn’t you just say so?
M2: Why would I say that?!
M1: Because I’m sexy!
M2: That's circular logic!
M1: Aw, don’t worry, you’re sexy too.
[Somebody coughs]
INT: E-eh?!
[Inappropriate sounds]
INT: OH MY GOODNESS.
[Door slams]
WOM: How could you?!
M2: Oh crud.
WOM: You said you’d love me, and only me!!!
M2: Justice, I’m sorry!
INT: Wait, what?! JUSTICE?!
WOM: Why? Why, Smoker?!
M1: Because I’m irresistibly sexy and really hot.
M2: Shut up, even though that’s technically true. Uh. I mean -- !
WOM: That’s it! We’re through!!!
[Door slams]
M2: JUSTICE! COME BACK!
INT: This is COMPLETELY @#$%ED UP.
M2: Darn you Portgas for being sexy! Uh. I mean, for being here! Wait, why were you here?!
M1: I felt like getting interviewed!
[Pause]
M2: … THE TAPE RECORDER!
M1: Oh. I forgot about that.
M2: ARGH!
INT: Eek! No! Not the stick again! [Sobs]
M1: Hey, if you’re going to do something kinky with that -
M2: Shut up! You! Interviewing woman!
INT: Yes, sir?!
M2: If any of the contents of this recording goes beyond this room, I WILL HIT YOU.
INT: Eek! I’LL HIDE IT! I WILL! I WILL!
M2: Good.
M1: Smokeeeer…
M2: Fine…
[Inappropriate noises]
INT: Screw this! I’m becoming a restaurant owner!
[Door slams]
[Recording ends]
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End of transcript.
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Aaaaaand done.
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