well since all this stuff is going on..i think im making it fully friends only again. lol i keep changing my mind but oh well, deal with it.


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wow. im so pissed off at my mom right now. i went to chris' for a little while n then i came back n my mom made me go into the kitchen n shes like "your eyes look a little funny. have you been smoking?" n i was like what the hell god i havent. she never suspected of me smoking while i was over there before..why would she now? shes such a bitch and ( Read more... )

god im such a fuckup. how the hell could i do that? i can't believe myself. n i feel horrible now..karli called me. she was really worried n upset. i dont even know why i did it..i just had like..a breakdown i guess. everything thats going on..its just too much. but god if my mom finds out..which she will eventually, i know it..im gonna be in such ( Read more... )

um k so i talked to chris yesterday. he said that we'd hang out today. i called him this morning, hes at a friends house. this makes me feel awesome. being ditched for the SECOND time by my own boyfriend. that, i might add, i havent seen in two weeks straight. wow this vacation is just getting better. he said "call me when you wanna hang out" so i ( Read more... )

well christmas is GREAT. except for the fact that once again i feel like dying. so we were sitting down at dinner, and my mom doesnt say anything. she asked what i was doing this week n i said oh idk probly hanging out with chris at some point. then she had to be a bitch. she said "dont get mad, im only going to say this once. i dont think he ( Read more... )

Im feeling sick right now so im not in a real great mood. Well i asked a friend for help and it backfired on me. She completely hates chris and i was stupid to ask for her advice. she basically told me i shouldnt be with him. she doesnt want me getting hurt. well every guy will hurt you. she seems to hate every guy that i go out with, and the one ( Read more... )

hm. todays been okay. i liked my christmas presents..except for the shitload of chocolate everyone got me. wtf am i gonna do now..my mom got me like 3 huge packages of fucking chocolate..very fattening chocolate at that. err. fuck. maybe ill just hide it all n pretend i ate it? dont know ( Read more... )

well theres a christmas eve party at my apt right now..n im sitting in my room listening to music :-) all the kids are giving me a headache. great. n wow i had tHE WORST headache earlier. i think everythings started to catch up with me. im having headaches regularly now, and the blackouts are back and worse. the headaches are getting worse again, n ( Read more... )

im so confused. whenever i talk to chris now i get more depressed and i dont know what to say. i always feel like such a bitch when i talk to him..and i feel like i can't be happy anymore. i just miss him so much when i talk to him n err i dont know why i feel like this. i know i say the same things all the time and you probly should stop reading ( Read more... )

wow. today..i just feel sick. like, not sick to my stomach. just generally, sick. i almost passed out when i got out of bed this morning..n my vision keeps blurring. not sure why. i was hungry..but im not anymore. n i feel really numb. i dont know if this is from yesterday or something else. i haven't had blackouts in months. n they weren't this ( Read more... )