the train departs at 12 o'clock (but I'm still here waiting for you) (1/?)
Title: the train departs at 12 o'clock (but I'm still here waiting for you) (1/?)
Pairing: hunhan
Rating: pg-13
Genre: romance, fluff, mild!crack, angst
Length: ?
Summary: Sehun lives in a world of cycles and repetition, and Luhan lives in one of shattered monochromes.
the train departs at 12 o'clock (but I'm still here waiting for you)
Sehun lives in a world of cycles and repetition, and Luhan lives in one of shattered monochromes.
Sehun prides himself in living a simple life, tainted with machinery and routines, each day repeating the last, each day nearly the same-yet he likes it that way. He despises surprises and the unexpected, the exhilaration and fear of the unknown, he despises it all. He likes the familiarity, the feeling of his muscles moving without a second thought, like a piano piece practiced over and over again, until his fingers were stiff and numb, each note a projection of his memory, each phrase one he had played a thousand times before. He likes knowing the future and what was expected, he likes his world strictly bounded by black and white, he likes a world free of color, chance, and fate.
Then, he transfers to Seoul High and meets Luhan. Before he realizes it, he is thrown into a carousel of whirling colors, too dizzying, too exhilarating, and much too addicting.
Sehun meets Luhan the minute he steps into his new high school, in the midst of autumn wind and nervous jitters. He had been turning green from first-day-of-school butterflies when he hears a shout of “Watch out!”
He turns, mouth slightly open in confusion, just in time to see a blur of pink, white, and blonde fly into him. He tumbles to the ground unceremoniously, grunting as a heavy weight promptly lands on him, knocking the breath out of him. As he tries to orient himself, the body atop of him quickly scrambles off. Shaking his head slightly, Sehun sits up slowly, still stunned by the encounter and seeing stars. He’s vaguely aware of the obnoxiously pink bicycle lying next to him, the wheels spinning idly, before a voice snags his attention again.
“Are you okay?”
He turns his head towards the owner of the slightly accented Korean words, and comes face to face to a pair of large doe eyes blinking innocently at him, too close for his liking. He lets out a strangled noise before lurching backwards, away from the baby-faced boy and narrowly avoiding another bicycle passing through.
Sehun looks back to the boy who’s biting his bottom lip nervously, eyes filled with timid apologies and rejection. Sehun almost wants to reach out to him and say, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to,” until he realizes that his day is already veering from the norm, and it is barely 7:12 in the morning. He feels an unfamiliar pit of fear sinking into his stomach as he gulps and tries to meet the boy’s eyes.
A hand is extended towards him, and Sehun finds himself looking at yet another boy, evidently doe-eye’s friend. He realizes that he means to help him up a few seconds too late, and flushes, grabbing onto the hand and immediately letting go as soon as he is upright.
“T-thank you,” he stutters, his cheeks still tinged pink and eyes downcast.
“You’re wel-“
“I am so sorry,” the first boy exclaims, pushing his friend (who merely rolls his eyes) out of the way. “Are you alright?”
Once again, the boy is a bit too in Sehun’s personal space, causing Sehun to lean back and step away.
With a small cough, Sehun ducks his head and mutters, “It’s fine; I’m okay.”
“Are you sure?” The boy asks worriedly. “Do you need t-”
“I’m fine,” Sehun insists, a little harsher than intended.
He picks up his fallen backpack and bows to the two of them slightly, before making his way into the school.
“Wait!”
Stopping unwillingly in his tracks, Sehun blows his bangs out of his eyes with an exasperated breath and turns around.
“I’m Luhan,” the boy says, sticking out his hand and giving Sehun a million-watt smile.
Blinking uncertainly, Sehun just stands there, unsure of what to do, and becoming much too aware of the fact that this is not a normal encounter (after all, who crashes into people with their bicycles?), and since it isn’t, he really should leave and never talk to this Luhan again.
But, before he can make his escape, Luhan’s grin grows wider. He reaches over to grab Sehun’s limply hanging hand and enthusiastically shakes it a few times.
“It’s nice to meet you.”
And when skin touches skin and eyes meet eyes, Sehun feels a flash of warmth in the depths of his chest as he quickly loses himself in Luhan’s sweet, brown crescents.
It is on the third day of school when Sehun bumps into Luhan again.
The two boys meet in a flutter of scattered papers and hushed murmurs of “Oh my god, I’m going to be late” five minutes after the last bell rings. As students hustle out of the school, chattering about the ice cream parlor down the street, Luhan and Sehun push their way through the crowds, heading for classroom B226.
As if fate has a hand in their affairs, the two come running from opposite directions, one glancing at his watch, the other staring at the papers in his hand. At the last moment, something triggers both of them to look up, only to see each others’ eyes before a shower of papers rain down upon them.
Sehun vaguely registers the familiar pain in his tailbone from the impact of the hard floor as he watches the papers float down one by one, and he reaches out to grab one.
20XX Academic Decathlon Curriculum
“Ah, that’s mine.”
The paper is promptly snatched out of his hand by someone, and with a frenzied heartbeat caused by trepidation, he slowly lifts his eyes, and sees the doe-eyed boy standing a few feet in front of him.
“It’s you again,” he mutters unenthusiastically, motioning to get up.
Luhan reaches over and takes his hand, hoisting him up with surprising strength.
“It’s nice to see you too,” he says with a twinkling laugh.
Sehun does not reply and merely stares at Luhan gathering up the scattered papers.
“What’s your name?” Luhan asks, looking up from the floor. “You never told me.”
“Sehun. Oh Sehun,” he says quietly, bending down and helping Luhan with the last couple of sheets.
“Thank you,” Luhan says with a pleasantly surprised tone. “Thank you, Oh Sehun,” he repeats, his smile growing wider.
Sehun nods in reply, and turns to look up and down the hallway, eyes scanning the classroom doors, trying to find the one marked B226.
“Are you lost?” Luhan asks, cocking his head and looking at Sehun curiously, with one hand on a door handle.
“I’m trying to find B226,” Sehun says slowly after a period of hesitation.
“Oh.” Luhan looks surprised as he pushed the door open. “It’s right here.”
The door swings open easily, and a blast of loud, boisterous voices hits Sehun in the face. The classroom silences abruptly as one of the students, a tall, curly-haired boy, shouts, “Hey, it’s Luhan with some kid!”
All the students, to Sehun’s horror, stop their conversations and antics and turn to look at him. The look in their eyes is one of mild interest, and Sehun couldn’t help but feel as if he were a specimen under the scrutiny of a biologist. With a gulp, he tears his eyes away from the class and looks up, only to feel a wave of dread swirl around him and settle in his stomach.
B226.
“I’m guessing you’re the new applicant?” Luhan says uncertainly, trying to catch Sehun’s eye.
Sehun doesn’t reply and merely stands there, gawking at the bronze plate above the door.
“Welcome to Academic Decathlon!” A boy dressed in a crisp white shirt and a grey knitted vest says, walking up to him and sticking out his hand. “Oh Sehun, I presume? I’m Kim Joonmyun, president of the Academic Decathlon.”
Sehun wordlessly takes the hand and shakes it once. Joonmyun beams at him, before leading him to a seat front center of the classroom (of course, right next to curly-hair), and pushing him into the chair.
“I hope you have a good year with us!” Curly-hair says.
Sehun barely registers the unnaturally deep voice before curly-hair leans over towards his table with an overly enthusiastic grin.
“My name is Park Chanyeol, and my hobbies include torturing mice and frying ants,” he says cheerfully.
Terrified, Sehun nods and utters a quick introduction, before scanning the room for any sign of familiarity. He spots Luhan at the front desk, sorting through papers while looking at him with concern. Luhan couldn’t miss the silent pleas Sehun was sending with his eyes.
“Don’t worry, he’s joking,” Luhan quickly says, reassuring Sehun and walking over.
Sehun shoots him a dubious look, and looks about the room once again, as if finding a way to escape. Luhan giggles at the gesture and places his arm around Sehun, ignoring his flinching.
“Don’t worry, you’ll like everyone soon enough.”
Sehun bites his lip and lowers his head wearily.
He knew he shouldn’t have moved from his old school.
He knew he shouldn’t have joined the Academic Decathlon. It was an extra class anyways.
“Luhan, can you introduce Sehun to the school and our class?” Joonmyun asks.
“Sure!” Luhan chirps, squeezing Sehun’s shoulders affectionately.
He knew meeting Luhan was not a good thing
“Who scored full points on Art, Literature, and Music?” Sehun mutters, looking through the old records of the Acadec competitions.
“Hmm?” Luhan asks, leaning towards him. “Oh, that was from last year.”
Luhan immediately goes back to filing the papers that he and Sehun had been assigned to do. Sehun glances over at him and notices a slight blush on Luhan’s face as he determinedly looks away from Sehun. He looks back at the score sheet and squints at the name printed next to the 1000/1000.
Seoul High, Luhan.
What.
“Hey! Stop looking at the records and start filing,” Luhan says indignantly, smacking Sehun on the shoulder.
“What.”
After two days of being dragged around school by Luhan, Sehun notices that Luhan is not only smart but also very, very popular.
Not that it is surprising to Sehun or anything. Luhan is the captain of the soccer team, vice president of the Acadec team, and a council member for god knows how many clubs at school.
The monstrous crowd of girls trailing behind the two of them only proves it.
“Goodness, do they ever do anything else?” Sehun mutters to himself as he leans against a closed classroom door, trying to catch his breath.
Luhan laughs, also breathing hard, and looks over to him, catching the accusing look Sehun seemed to be shooting him.
“Hey, it’s not only my fault. Half the girls were screaming ‘Sehun-oppa!! Please let me have your babies!!’”
Sehun lowers his eyes while Luhan giggles and peeks out the door. Seeing that the coast was clear, he signals to Sehun and on a count of three, the two of them bolt out of the classroom, narrowly avoiding a crash with a group of fan girls.
It is on the second week of school when Sehun finds out that Luhan loves animals.
He barely opened the door to B226 when he sees a screaming Chanyeol running past him, arms flailing. He blinks at Chanyeol who was spinning in circles before entering the classroom warily. Joonmyun looks up and merely shrugs a greeting before returning to his Calculus homework.
“What’s go-”
“There’s a bird in the classroom!”
Sehun hears Chanyeol’s voice shriek and turns around, only to be met by a mess of curly hair that tackles him to the floor.
“Oh my gosh, Sehun, are you okay?”
Luhan rushes over from the corner of the classroom with a bundle in his arms and kneels next to him, a worried expression etched on his face.
“Are you alive?”
Sehun groans and nods before gesturing towards Chanyeol who had half his body sprawled over the poor Sehun. Luhan gasps and immediately hands the bundle to Kyungsoo, the secretary, who let out a small squeak, and pulls Chanyeol off of Sehun.
“Thanks,” Sehun mutters as he sat up wondering why his days were so accident prone.
“Your welcome!” Luhan chirps brightly.
He takes the bundle back from Kyungsoo and thrusts it into Sehun’s surprised arms.
“Say ‘hi’ to Qwerty!” He says enthusiastically, beaming expectantly at Sehun.
Qwerty?
Sehun blinks and looks at thing he was holding in his arms and notices that it’s a small, blue parakeet.
“Um… hi…”
“Yixing’s cousin’s friend’s little sister’s best friend didn’t want him anymore, so I took him,” Luhan explained, retrieving Qwerty back before Sehun has an anxiety attack.
“…Oh…”
Luhan had introduced Yixing to Sehun a few days after Sehun had joined the Decathlon team. Yixing was an easy going fellow that always looked serious, but Sehun soon learned it was because he was often lost in his thoughts about unicorn, guitars, and piano. They got along pretty well, nodding to each other when they pass each other in the hallways and making small talk when they meet each other after school, Luhan still busy with his board member stuff.
“He’s cute, isn’t he?” Luhan gushes, holding Qwerty in Sehun’s face. As if on cue, Qwerty yawns and stretches out his neck, closing his beak over Sehun’s nose. Sehun yelps and Luhan falls back on his heels, laughing.
“Simply adorable,” Sehun states once Qwerty lets go of him, rubbing his nose and shooting resentful looks at a chortling Kyungsoo.
“Mhmm. Aren’t you adorable?” Luhan croons.
Sehun looks at Luhan, and his heart skips a beat as he takes in his soft features and gentle eyes looking adoringly at the small parakeet. Luhan strokes its head slowly, and it lets out a low rumbling sound while inclining its head towards Luhan’s touch. A small giggle escapes Luhan, and Sehun snaps out of his trance as Luhan stands up.
“Anyways, I’m making it the class mascot,” he declares, coaxing the budgie back into its cage.
“I told you, Luhan, we don’t need a class macot,” Joonmyun begins, putting down his pencil. “And if we did, it would be an eagle, not a para-“
“There’s a bird in the classroom!!!” Chanyeol screams once more.
“We know, Chanyeol, we know,” Kyungsoo says wearily.
“….I love birds.”
“Ooookay then. But we still don’t need a class mascot or whatever,” Joonmyun insists, standing up.
“Yes, we do!” Luhan says as he clucks his tongue at the bird.
“No, we don’t!”
“Yes, w-”
“Will you two shut up?”
Sehun, who had been watching the argument like a tennis match, turns his attention to a boy sitting at the far corner, evidently just woken from his nap.
“Sorry, Baekhyun,” Luhan says cheerfully as he skips over to him. “Did you have a good nap? It’s time for class, you know.”
Baekhyun, the boy, rolls his eyes playfully.
“Well, I wouldn’t have known, since both the president and the vice president are squabbling like three year olds,” he states. “And to think you’re the oldest out of us after Minseok.”
He gestures towards a boy with adorably chubby cheeks standing next to Joonmyun. Sehun recognized him as the treasurer before registering what Baekhyun had just said.
“Luhan is older than me?” He blurts out.
The room falls silent, much to his embarrassment, but Luhan breaks the silence with a laugh.
“Yup, I am the second oldest in this class, maknae.”
On that day, Sehun also finds out that his life has been a lie and that Luhan is a vampire.
It is a month later when Sehun finds out that Luhan is perhaps the most caring person in the universe.
November is approaching, and the chill is already present in the air. Students don their scarves and winter coats as they trudge over wet, grey asphalt. The occasional ray of sunlight is the only thing that brightens the students’ days as exams and the first Academic Decathlon scrimmage approach.
Tension in B226 is higher than ever as the day of their first Scrimmage inches towards them. The period is spent in almost complete silence as the class frantically read and re-read their study guides, muttering information under their breath, highlighters flying over the pages. The previous chatter and laughter are replaced with sounds of pages turning and pencils scratching against paper. The cheerful atmosphere seemed almost nonexistent, fading just like the bright sun and the blue sky.
It is on these days, Luhan seems like their ray of sunshine, flitting through the rows of seats handing out snacks and drinks. It is on days when Sehun is feeling the most stressed, having taken a test in every class, Luhan brings his favorite chocolate bubble tea.
Luhan is nice, alright. That is an established fact, something one knew about him before even really knowing him. But once one really knew him, knew Luhan, the boy who fawned over a parakeet named Qwerty, they’ll find out that his true kindness isn’t what people see and go “Aww, you’re so nice,” over, but what people feel when they return home and are laying in bed, staring at the ceiling and recounting the day’s events.
“Two, one, one, two.”
Sehun looks up from his Chemistry worksheet and sees Luhan leaning down next to him.
“Pardon?”
“Two, one, one, two,” Luhan repeats, angling his chin at the worksheet. “That’s the answer to number twelve.
Sehun does some quick calculations and finds that the answer is indeed two, one, one, two. As he quietly fills in the numbers, he wonders to himself how in the world Luhan had balanced the equation so quickly when he had slaved over this problem for the last five minutes.
“Your number five is wrong,” Luhan mutters, peering at the paper once more. “You have an extra Oxygen in the products. Here, let me show you.”
Luhan spends the next ten minutes or so helping Sehun work through his worksheet. By the last problem, Sehun finally feels like he has some idea of what he’s doing.
“Thank you,” he says shyly as he tucks the paper safely into his folder.
“You’re welcome!”
Sehun looks up as Luhan shoots him a dazzling smile, and he feels his heart does a skip-jump. Gulping, he shakily returns to smile and gives his full attention to Joonmyun, who is finally about to start the afterschool study session.
By the time Joonmyun finally dismisses the class, the small drizzle has turned into a downpour of rain. Sehun sighs to himself as he adjusts the straps on his backpack, bracing himself for a long, wet trek home. As he steps out of the school building, an umbrella is suddenly placed over him. He turns to see Luhan standing next to him, holding his pale blue muffin umbrella over the two.
“I’ll walk you home,” Luhan offers with a smile.
“It’s okay,” Sehun says quickly. “I don’t live that far.”
“I insist.”
Luhan grabs Sehun’s arm and begins pulling him towards the direction of his house. Sehun has no idea how he knows where he lives, but Luhan tells him that the board members have all the contact information of the class.
As they walk to Sehun’s house, Luhan makes mild small talk about everything, literally. He talks about Joonmyun’s annoying feet tapping habit, Baekhyun’s obsession over eyeliner, Mr. Kim’s new teacher assistant who loves bunnies, and even about Chanyeol’s new sneakers (which are an obnoxious lime green with bright red shoe laces).
Sehun finds the conversation effortless, for once, mostly because Luhan is the one doing the talking while he listens and occasionally puts in a “mhmm” and an “oh, is that so.” Luhan seems satisfied enough with the answers.
“Ah, it’s here, right?” Luhan says, pausing outside of Sehun’s gate.
He nods, before flipping the latch open and turning to Luhan.
“Um… thank you,” he says quietly, eyes not meeting Luhan’s.
“You’re welcome,” Luhan says, a smile evident even in his voice.
He giggles as Sehun fiddles with the latch some more-eyes darting from his front door to Luhan, and then back to the door-and gives him a small pat on the head, ruffling his hair.
“Bye, Sehun,” Luhan chirps, spinning on his heel and hopping down the street. He stops halfway down the block to turn around and wave at Sehun.
Sehun, having not realized that he was still standing there, watching Luhan, lifts a hand hesitantly and waves back.
“Go inside!” Luhan calls. “You’re going to get sick.”
Sehun flushes before stumbling through the gates and fumbling with his keys. He could almost hear Luhan’s laugh from where he was standing. When he finally manages to push open his door, he pauses and looks back, as if on instinct, and his eyes are sweeping over bare sidewalk, the concrete being painted over by the harsh rain.
Something similar to disappointment builds in him as he scans the block, trying to catch sight of a blue umbrella that was no longer there. Shaking off the unfamiliar feeling, he enters the house and trudges up the musky staircase, his socked feet making the only noise.
As he settles at his desk, he feels his pocket vibrate, and he pulls out his phone.
To: Sehun
Sehun-ah, don’t forget to bring an umbrella tomorrow ^^
~Luhan
P.S. I told you I had everyone’s contact information >:3
A smile spreads on Sehun’s face as he spins in his chair, clutching his phone and staring at the illuminated screen.
It is weeks later when Sehun finds out that Luhan lives on the other side of town.
Hours slide into days and weeks fade into months, and before they know it, the first Academic Decathlon Scrimmage hurtles into their Saturday morning and leaves them with a bunch of First Place ribbons and just as many Second and Third Place ones.
By the time the awards ceremony is over, the Acadec team is tired and satisfied, ready to fall asleep on the bus and take a long, hot shower at home. After Joonmyun finishes his congratulatory speech to the team, the bus falls into a sort of calm, homely silence, and everyone is either sleeping or gazing out the window, lost in their dreams or their thoughts. Luhan has his book open in his lap and his eyes fixed on the passing trees.
Sehun is sitting beside him, staring at his hands and occasionally glancing at Luhan. He can’t help but notice the dark circles under Luhan’s eyes and the much too weary look on his face. Sehun remembers the Luhan stumbling into classroom, eyelids nearly shutting, plopping into his chair and letting his head drop onto his arms. When asked if he was okay, Luhan would mumble that he had to study for three tests the day before closing his eyes and dozing off.
He remembers the Luhan that, despite sleeping only two hours a night, would always smile and mutter explanations and instructions to those who needed help, never getting frustrated, never getting impatient. Joonmyun and Xiumin would always look at him with worried expressions, only to be reassured with a bright smile from Luhan. That smile would stay on Luhan’s face until class ends and Yixing is standing outside the door, earphones plugged in, waiting for Luhan. That is when Luhan lets the smile slip off his face and whispers something in Chinese to Yixing. Yixing would wrap his arm around Luhan and turn around to shoot a reassuring smile to Sehun, who would always be atching them, before heading out of the school building.
He also remembers the Luhan sitting in a desolate hallway with his backpack sitting forlornly beside him, head down and arms placed haphazardly on his knees. He doesn’t notice Sehun’s presence until his soft, “hey,” a “hey” that shocked not only Luhan but also Sehun himself.
“A-are you okay?” Sehun asks, licking his dry lips as Luhan looks at him clouded eyes.
“Yeah,” Luhan mutters, letting his head drop again.
A wave of worry and panic grips Sehun as he feels a sense of hopelessness take over him. Suddenly, he wants to run, to run so fast that he’s running out of his own skin, shedding the skin known as “Sehun” and just run. He feels his palms beginning to sweat and licks his lips again, a gesture of nervousness. Just as he is about to spin around and walk away, Luhan looks up, a blinding smile present on his face.
“Yeah, I’m okay,” he repeats, getting up from the floor with a spring in his step that appears a second too late.
“I…” Sehun begins, eyes sweeping over Luhan. “…Okay.”
Luhan giggles before bending down to retrieve his backpack and grabbing Sehun’s arm.
“Come on, let’s go to class.”
“Sehun? Sehun, is there something on my face?”
Sehun snaps out of his daze and realizes that he has been staring intently at Luhan, who had stopped staring out the window. He cheeks color, and he immediately lowers his eyes, opting to stare at his feet instead.
“N-no,” he says meekly, clearing his throat.
Luhan smiles at Sehun’s fidgety actions and closes his book, dropping it onto Sehun’s lap.
“Hold it for me, will you?” Luhan says, leaning back in his chair and closing his eyes.
Sehun stares at the Luhan for a while, marveling over how the evening sunlight splays perfectly across his cheeks, tingeing them a soft orange. Luhan’s chest rises and falls at an even pace, and Sehun absently wonders if he’s having a good dream.
Once again, Sehun feels that suddenly all-too-familiar sensation of quickened breathing and irregular heartbeats, something that appears whenever he’s in Luhan’s presence. He feels the need to look away, to stare at the back of Baekhyun’s chair, at the aisle littered with jackets, at his hands, just anywhere away from Luhan. But he can’t and instead, continues gazing at Luhan. Soon, weariness gets the better of him, and he lets his eyes flutter close, taking in one last image of the other boy.
The name of an angel passes through his mind just before he slips into unconsciousness and lets his head fall onto Luhan’s shoulder.
“Hey, Luhan, Sehun, we’re almo-. Oh. He’s sleeping,” Joonmyun says dumbly, staring at Sehun as if he’s never seen a sleeping boy before.
“Yeah,” Luhan says good-naturedly. “He fell asleep halfway through the ride. Must’ve been tired from the endless hours of studying.”
He lifts his hand and brushes Sehun’s hair away from his eyes, almost an instinctive touch, and smiles.
“How about you, Luhan?” Joonmyun asks, concern filling his eyes. “You’ve been staying up really late with all the crap from school.”
“I’m fine,” Luhan replies airily. “I couldn’t sleep on the bus, but I closed my eyes for a while. Until this idiot fell asleep on me, that is.”
Luhan smiles again as he ruffles Sehuns hair. In response, Sehun snuggles up closer to him.
Sehun finds out about Luhan’s beautiful vocals and love for music a few days before winter vacation
He’s walking through the music hall during lunch, heading towards his usual shady tree, when he hears a soft melody of Chinese in a familiar voice he can’t place floating from one of the classrooms, accompanied by the simple presses of piano keys. He slows his steps as he reaches the slightly open door to the classroom and admires the music for a few seconds. He closes his eyes, letting it flow over him like a soft, methodical river, before opening them and speeding up.
Then, he hears a cough and a soft mutter of, “Damn, my cold still isn’t better yet.”
He pauses midstride and quickly backtracks, leaning to peek into the room. Sure enough, he sees Luhan, bent over and digging through his backpack. He steps into the room just as Luhan looks up, and with a gasp, he’s tumbling off the piano chair.
“A-are you okay?” Sehun asks, hurrying over to him but stopping a few feet away, arm stretched out hesitantly.
Luhan shoots him a look before grabbing Sehun’s reluctant hand, hoisting himself up.
“Didn’t think of warning me, did you?” He says accusingly, brushing himself off.
“Sorry,” Sehun mumbles, looking at his shuffling feet.
Luhan observes him for a few seconds before laughing. He claps him on the back a few times and leads him towards the piano, situating the both of them on the chair.
“Don’t worry, I was just joking,” he says merrily, glancing at Sehun.
Sehun nods uncertainly before averting his attention towards the piano. Silence settles calmly between them as Sehun strokes the black and white keys.
Plunk.
“I didn’t know you play the piano,” Sehun says softly as he proceeds to press another key.
Plunk. Plunk.
“Oh, I don’t. I was just fooling around.”
Plunk.
“It sounded pretty nice to me.”
Silence.
Sehun looks up from the piano keys and at Luhan, wondering why he had not replied. He sees Luhan gazing out the window above them, eyes squinting against the soft sunrays and expression unreadable. Luhan bites his lip and drops his gaze, closing his eyes momentarily before smiling at Sehun.
“Thank you!” He says in a voice too sickly cheerful for Sehun. “How about you, Sehun? Do you play the piano?”
Plunk.
Sehun stares at his finger pressing the key for a few seconds before taking a deep breath, mind spinning from the exhilaration of what he was about to do. He closes his eyes and reassures himself, telling himself it was alright, that Luhan was next to him. Strangely enough, that very thought is comforting and warm, and it gives Sehun courage. He spreads his fingers.
Luhan’s eyes widen as a soothing tune floats from the piano and from Sehun’s fingers as they scuttle across the keyboard. He can’t place the song, but he’s pretty sure it’s one of Chopin’s nocturnes, having heard it hundreds of times while watching Baekhyun practice piano. His eyebrows furrow as Sehun continues playing, striking every note with perfect rhythm, perfect dynamics, perfect everything.
But…
“Chopin’s Nocturne, Opus 9, number 1 in B Minor,” Sehun murmurs as he finishes the last arpeggio.
“It’s nice,” Luhan admits, staring at the keys. “Really nice. Everything was perfect. Baekhyun would hate you.”
Sehun smiles at the last comment, knowing of Baekhyun’s obsession over the piano, but he can feel a but coming.
“But….”
There it was.
“But it was just lacking something. It… It was just so dead; it was like a machine playing the piano, o-or maybe a robot, just plunking on the keys. It wasn’t playing the piano; it was more like just remembering the notes and pressing the keys. I-it was just missing the feeling you usually get when listening to one of Chopin’s nocturnes or whatever,” Luhan mutters, more to himself than to anyone else.
With a small gasp, his eyes flit to Sehun, as if he barely remembered that he was there.
“I-I mean, never mind, just ignore me,” he stutters quickly. “It’s not like I’m in a-“
“No,” Sehun interrupts. “No, you’re right. That’s what everyone says.”
Plunk.
“They, even those who have no music experience, always tell me that I was a genius at memorizing the music, but not at playing the piano. They always tell me that I couldn’t play it, like really play it.”
Sehun glances down at his fingers as he registers his senseless jumble of words, but Luhan nods in understanding.
“Yeah,” he says, moving to place his hands next to Sehun’s.
Sehun smiles at the way their skin tones match and waits for Luhan to begin playing, removing his hands and sitting back. He never does.
Instead, Luhan takes in a shaky breath, closing his eyes again, before standing up. He circles around the chair and kneels by his backpack, grabbing his books.
“Anyways,” he begins, fiddling with the straps of his backpack. “I’ve got to get to class now. You should go to.”
He smiles at Sehun, waves, and heads down the hallway towards his math class. Sehun doesn’t miss the lingering look Luhan sends the piano.
Snow is beginning to cover the grey cement outside and Christmas day soon arrives, and Sehun is not surprised to find the house bare and cold, nothing like the cozy, laughter-filled homes he would walk past every day, returning from school and rigorous Academic Decathlon practice. He wakes up in his still dark room, curtains drawn and walls white and undecorated. He barely glances at the closed door across the hallway as he makes his way down the stairs, grabbing a slice of bread and stuffing it in his mouth, washing it down with a glass of cold milk.
He rips off a post it note from the pad stuck on the refrigerator and scrawls,
I’m going out, I’ll be home late.
He knows it will find its home in the trashcan later, barely even looked at, and he knows that he doesn’t have to write a note since no one will miss him, but he does anyways. He also toasts another piece of bread, laying out various jams and butter and pouring another cup of milk, heating it up.
Then, he hears footsteps sound on the staircase as he bundles himself up in overcoats and scarves. He’s out the door before they reach the bottom, and like he does every year, he leaves a small box wrapped in red cellophane on the coffee table.
He knows it will still be there when he gets back, but he puts it there anyways.
“NOOO!! GIVE ME BACK MY ALBUM-DON’T PUT IT TH-YOU’RE GETTING IT DIR-…I hate you.”
Baekhyun flops back onto the couch in Chanyeol’s living room and glares daggers at everyone who looks at him. His new TaeTiSeo’s Twinkle CD lays in the middle of chip crumbs and salsa dip. He feels like crying and blames everything on Chanyeol who just has to laugh while eating (it’s disgusting, and food flies out of his mouth).
Sehun laughs nervously and scoots a few inches away from Baekhyun, staring at the wall and begging it for help. Baekhyun looks pointedly at him.
“Hey, maknae, don’t you think that’s rude?” He says, pointing an accusing finger at Sehun. “Get your ass back here and talk to me; I don’t bite.”
Startled, Sehun blinks a few times before immediately moving back to Baekhyun’s side, sitting straight as a stick and still staring straight ahead. Baekhyun laughs and whacks him on the shoulder a few times.
“Loosen up dude, it’s Christmas. We don’t have a Christmas party to have you sitting here all uptight,” Baekhyun says loudly, popping open another can of coke. “Yah, Park Chanyeol, I saw that! Hands off my CD! Kyungsoo, would you clean up the table and wipe my CD? And make sure Chanyeol does not touch it.”
Kyungsoo sighs wearily and untangles himself from the bundle of blankets he wrapped himself in. Baekhyun nods at him, satisfied, before turning back to Sehun.
“So, opened any Christmas presents yet?” Baekhyun asked, gesturing to his TTS CD. “My mom bought that for me,” he declares proudly.
Sehun stiffens up considerably for a few seconds before forcing himself to relax. He opens his mouth to reply that no, he has not gotten any presents because there’s no one to give him any, and the only person that would is probably too busy with work to even care¸ but promptly, a package is dropped into his lap.
He looks up, surprised, as Baekhyun snorts and returns to screaming at Chanyeol over some other trivial thing.
“Merry Christmas,” Luhan says cheerfully, nodding at the present. “Open it.”
Sehun picks up the box gingerly, but doesn’t open it. He looks at Luhan.
“I,” he licks his lips. “I don’t have a present for you.”
Luhan laughs.
“It doesn’t matter,” he says earnestly, sitting himself next to Sehun.
“I…” Sehun begins, ready to protest and say that he really couldn’t accept it, but Luhan cuts him off.
“Just open it,” Luhan whines, wriggling in his seat. “Hurry!”
Sehun looks at the box for a while before nodding. “Okay.”
He rips off the wrapping paper carefully, placing the sticky ribbon flower to the side. Luhan takes it and playfully sticks it on Sehun’s sweater sleeve as Sehun lifts the lid of the brown box. He blinks and slowly lifts out what’s inside as Luhan bounces up and down next to him.
“Do you like it, do you like it?” Luhan urges, nudging him and poking him with every word.
“It’s… really… cute,” Sehun says truthfully as he turns the stuffed deer in his hands.
“It is, huh?” Luhan says excitedly before chuckling. “It’s for you to remember me.”
Sehun looks at Luhan curiously, wondering why a deer would remind him of Luhan and why Luhan even cared for Sehun to remember him. Luhan replies to his gaze with tracing something on the coffee table.
“Lu…han,” he says slowly, finishing the last stroke of the second word. “That’s my name in Chinese.” He thinks for a minute. “I’m Chinese,” he adds, almost like an after thought.
“I know,” Sehun says softly under his breath. “Lu… han…?”
His words are accented and unsure, but Luhan grins widely and throws an arm around Sehun’s shoulders.
“Yup! The first word is deer, hence, the plushie.”
Luhan reaches over and takes the plushie, waving it in Sehun’s face and making it trot and dance on his lap. Sehun squirms from the tickly feeling but doesn’t stop the smile creeping onto his face as Luhan spreads the deer’s arms (legs?) wide and makes it hug Sehun.
“Sehunnie~ Luhan loves you,” Luhan says playfully, grinning up at Sehun, smile and words blinding and angelic, stealing away Sehun’s breath.
Sehun watches Luhan fiddle with the deer, feeling his heart swell with an emotion he can’t explain, one so unfamiliar to him that it is almost frightening for him, for someone who hates the unknown. He is torn between embracing the feeling that is beckoning him-almost like the light at the end of a long, dark, seemingly endless tunnel-and shrinking away from it, turning his head and lowering his eyes, never to acknowledge it, blocking it out with every fiber of his being. In the end, he can only stare into Luhan’s large, chocolate orbs as he blinks up at him.
“Sehun, what’s wrong?” He asks, eyebrows furrowing so preciously with worry and concern, hand reaching up to lightly brush Sehun’s bangs from his eyes.
It is the contact of skin that tears Sehun out of his reverie, making him flinch and back away ever so discreetly-though it is not missed by Luhan. He draws away, confusion written over his face, but he doesn’t question it, and soon, he is smiling and packing the deer away into the box again. Sehun finds himself being dragged to the kitchen where Kyungsoo had made it his haven, nibbling away on the batch of freshly baked brownies, courtesy of Chanyeol’s mother and Kyungsoo himself. Luhan waltzes past the plate and whisks two away, stuffing one to Sehun, insisting for him to try it with large, pleading, and much too innocent eyes.
Sehun, unable to resist the look Luhan was giving him, bites into the warm brownie, chocolate melting on his tongue. Luhan laughs at the crumbs dribbling from the side of Sehun’s mouth, and grabs a napkin, dabbing at the corner of his lips. This time, Sehun does not flinch, nor does he move away, but he simply stands there, a type of soft and adoring awe filling his eyes as he watches Luhan.
When Luhan pulls away to sling an arm around Kyungsoo and gush about how delicious the brownies were, Sehun find himself missing Luhan’s warm touch as a feeling almost like jealousy swirls around in his chest. And with a simple smile thrown his way by an angel named Luhan, the feeling disappears, and an unexplainable happiness takes its place.
It is then when Sehun realizes that Luhan probably means something to him, something too important and too precious, something he probably should avoid but is unavoidable.
Luhan walks him home again that night, eyes flickering curiously to the dark windows, no presence of light and warmth. Sehun knows it’s going to be a silent, cold night again, but for now, Luhan’s beside him, and for some reason, with Luhan beside him, he feels just a bit warmer, just a bit happier, and despite the fact that they’re in the middle of winter, he thinks that he can almost see spring.
next
Pairing: hunhan
Rating: pg-13
Genre: romance, fluff, mild!crack, angst
Length: ?
Summary: Sehun lives in a world of cycles and repetition, and Luhan lives in one of shattered monochromes.
the train departs at 12 o'clock (but I'm still here waiting for you)
Sehun lives in a world of cycles and repetition, and Luhan lives in one of shattered monochromes.
Sehun prides himself in living a simple life, tainted with machinery and routines, each day repeating the last, each day nearly the same-yet he likes it that way. He despises surprises and the unexpected, the exhilaration and fear of the unknown, he despises it all. He likes the familiarity, the feeling of his muscles moving without a second thought, like a piano piece practiced over and over again, until his fingers were stiff and numb, each note a projection of his memory, each phrase one he had played a thousand times before. He likes knowing the future and what was expected, he likes his world strictly bounded by black and white, he likes a world free of color, chance, and fate.
Then, he transfers to Seoul High and meets Luhan. Before he realizes it, he is thrown into a carousel of whirling colors, too dizzying, too exhilarating, and much too addicting.
Sehun meets Luhan the minute he steps into his new high school, in the midst of autumn wind and nervous jitters. He had been turning green from first-day-of-school butterflies when he hears a shout of “Watch out!”
He turns, mouth slightly open in confusion, just in time to see a blur of pink, white, and blonde fly into him. He tumbles to the ground unceremoniously, grunting as a heavy weight promptly lands on him, knocking the breath out of him. As he tries to orient himself, the body atop of him quickly scrambles off. Shaking his head slightly, Sehun sits up slowly, still stunned by the encounter and seeing stars. He’s vaguely aware of the obnoxiously pink bicycle lying next to him, the wheels spinning idly, before a voice snags his attention again.
“Are you okay?”
He turns his head towards the owner of the slightly accented Korean words, and comes face to face to a pair of large doe eyes blinking innocently at him, too close for his liking. He lets out a strangled noise before lurching backwards, away from the baby-faced boy and narrowly avoiding another bicycle passing through.
Sehun looks back to the boy who’s biting his bottom lip nervously, eyes filled with timid apologies and rejection. Sehun almost wants to reach out to him and say, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to,” until he realizes that his day is already veering from the norm, and it is barely 7:12 in the morning. He feels an unfamiliar pit of fear sinking into his stomach as he gulps and tries to meet the boy’s eyes.
A hand is extended towards him, and Sehun finds himself looking at yet another boy, evidently doe-eye’s friend. He realizes that he means to help him up a few seconds too late, and flushes, grabbing onto the hand and immediately letting go as soon as he is upright.
“T-thank you,” he stutters, his cheeks still tinged pink and eyes downcast.
“You’re wel-“
“I am so sorry,” the first boy exclaims, pushing his friend (who merely rolls his eyes) out of the way. “Are you alright?”
Once again, the boy is a bit too in Sehun’s personal space, causing Sehun to lean back and step away.
With a small cough, Sehun ducks his head and mutters, “It’s fine; I’m okay.”
“Are you sure?” The boy asks worriedly. “Do you need t-”
“I’m fine,” Sehun insists, a little harsher than intended.
He picks up his fallen backpack and bows to the two of them slightly, before making his way into the school.
“Wait!”
Stopping unwillingly in his tracks, Sehun blows his bangs out of his eyes with an exasperated breath and turns around.
“I’m Luhan,” the boy says, sticking out his hand and giving Sehun a million-watt smile.
Blinking uncertainly, Sehun just stands there, unsure of what to do, and becoming much too aware of the fact that this is not a normal encounter (after all, who crashes into people with their bicycles?), and since it isn’t, he really should leave and never talk to this Luhan again.
But, before he can make his escape, Luhan’s grin grows wider. He reaches over to grab Sehun’s limply hanging hand and enthusiastically shakes it a few times.
“It’s nice to meet you.”
And when skin touches skin and eyes meet eyes, Sehun feels a flash of warmth in the depths of his chest as he quickly loses himself in Luhan’s sweet, brown crescents.
It is on the third day of school when Sehun bumps into Luhan again.
The two boys meet in a flutter of scattered papers and hushed murmurs of “Oh my god, I’m going to be late” five minutes after the last bell rings. As students hustle out of the school, chattering about the ice cream parlor down the street, Luhan and Sehun push their way through the crowds, heading for classroom B226.
As if fate has a hand in their affairs, the two come running from opposite directions, one glancing at his watch, the other staring at the papers in his hand. At the last moment, something triggers both of them to look up, only to see each others’ eyes before a shower of papers rain down upon them.
Sehun vaguely registers the familiar pain in his tailbone from the impact of the hard floor as he watches the papers float down one by one, and he reaches out to grab one.
20XX Academic Decathlon Curriculum
“Ah, that’s mine.”
The paper is promptly snatched out of his hand by someone, and with a frenzied heartbeat caused by trepidation, he slowly lifts his eyes, and sees the doe-eyed boy standing a few feet in front of him.
“It’s you again,” he mutters unenthusiastically, motioning to get up.
Luhan reaches over and takes his hand, hoisting him up with surprising strength.
“It’s nice to see you too,” he says with a twinkling laugh.
Sehun does not reply and merely stares at Luhan gathering up the scattered papers.
“What’s your name?” Luhan asks, looking up from the floor. “You never told me.”
“Sehun. Oh Sehun,” he says quietly, bending down and helping Luhan with the last couple of sheets.
“Thank you,” Luhan says with a pleasantly surprised tone. “Thank you, Oh Sehun,” he repeats, his smile growing wider.
Sehun nods in reply, and turns to look up and down the hallway, eyes scanning the classroom doors, trying to find the one marked B226.
“Are you lost?” Luhan asks, cocking his head and looking at Sehun curiously, with one hand on a door handle.
“I’m trying to find B226,” Sehun says slowly after a period of hesitation.
“Oh.” Luhan looks surprised as he pushed the door open. “It’s right here.”
The door swings open easily, and a blast of loud, boisterous voices hits Sehun in the face. The classroom silences abruptly as one of the students, a tall, curly-haired boy, shouts, “Hey, it’s Luhan with some kid!”
All the students, to Sehun’s horror, stop their conversations and antics and turn to look at him. The look in their eyes is one of mild interest, and Sehun couldn’t help but feel as if he were a specimen under the scrutiny of a biologist. With a gulp, he tears his eyes away from the class and looks up, only to feel a wave of dread swirl around him and settle in his stomach.
B226.
“I’m guessing you’re the new applicant?” Luhan says uncertainly, trying to catch Sehun’s eye.
Sehun doesn’t reply and merely stands there, gawking at the bronze plate above the door.
“Welcome to Academic Decathlon!” A boy dressed in a crisp white shirt and a grey knitted vest says, walking up to him and sticking out his hand. “Oh Sehun, I presume? I’m Kim Joonmyun, president of the Academic Decathlon.”
Sehun wordlessly takes the hand and shakes it once. Joonmyun beams at him, before leading him to a seat front center of the classroom (of course, right next to curly-hair), and pushing him into the chair.
“I hope you have a good year with us!” Curly-hair says.
Sehun barely registers the unnaturally deep voice before curly-hair leans over towards his table with an overly enthusiastic grin.
“My name is Park Chanyeol, and my hobbies include torturing mice and frying ants,” he says cheerfully.
Terrified, Sehun nods and utters a quick introduction, before scanning the room for any sign of familiarity. He spots Luhan at the front desk, sorting through papers while looking at him with concern. Luhan couldn’t miss the silent pleas Sehun was sending with his eyes.
“Don’t worry, he’s joking,” Luhan quickly says, reassuring Sehun and walking over.
Sehun shoots him a dubious look, and looks about the room once again, as if finding a way to escape. Luhan giggles at the gesture and places his arm around Sehun, ignoring his flinching.
“Don’t worry, you’ll like everyone soon enough.”
Sehun bites his lip and lowers his head wearily.
He knew he shouldn’t have moved from his old school.
He knew he shouldn’t have joined the Academic Decathlon. It was an extra class anyways.
“Luhan, can you introduce Sehun to the school and our class?” Joonmyun asks.
“Sure!” Luhan chirps, squeezing Sehun’s shoulders affectionately.
He knew meeting Luhan was not a good thing
“Who scored full points on Art, Literature, and Music?” Sehun mutters, looking through the old records of the Acadec competitions.
“Hmm?” Luhan asks, leaning towards him. “Oh, that was from last year.”
Luhan immediately goes back to filing the papers that he and Sehun had been assigned to do. Sehun glances over at him and notices a slight blush on Luhan’s face as he determinedly looks away from Sehun. He looks back at the score sheet and squints at the name printed next to the 1000/1000.
Seoul High, Luhan.
What.
“Hey! Stop looking at the records and start filing,” Luhan says indignantly, smacking Sehun on the shoulder.
“What.”
After two days of being dragged around school by Luhan, Sehun notices that Luhan is not only smart but also very, very popular.
Not that it is surprising to Sehun or anything. Luhan is the captain of the soccer team, vice president of the Acadec team, and a council member for god knows how many clubs at school.
The monstrous crowd of girls trailing behind the two of them only proves it.
“Goodness, do they ever do anything else?” Sehun mutters to himself as he leans against a closed classroom door, trying to catch his breath.
Luhan laughs, also breathing hard, and looks over to him, catching the accusing look Sehun seemed to be shooting him.
“Hey, it’s not only my fault. Half the girls were screaming ‘Sehun-oppa!! Please let me have your babies!!’”
Sehun lowers his eyes while Luhan giggles and peeks out the door. Seeing that the coast was clear, he signals to Sehun and on a count of three, the two of them bolt out of the classroom, narrowly avoiding a crash with a group of fan girls.
It is on the second week of school when Sehun finds out that Luhan loves animals.
He barely opened the door to B226 when he sees a screaming Chanyeol running past him, arms flailing. He blinks at Chanyeol who was spinning in circles before entering the classroom warily. Joonmyun looks up and merely shrugs a greeting before returning to his Calculus homework.
“What’s go-”
“There’s a bird in the classroom!”
Sehun hears Chanyeol’s voice shriek and turns around, only to be met by a mess of curly hair that tackles him to the floor.
“Oh my gosh, Sehun, are you okay?”
Luhan rushes over from the corner of the classroom with a bundle in his arms and kneels next to him, a worried expression etched on his face.
“Are you alive?”
Sehun groans and nods before gesturing towards Chanyeol who had half his body sprawled over the poor Sehun. Luhan gasps and immediately hands the bundle to Kyungsoo, the secretary, who let out a small squeak, and pulls Chanyeol off of Sehun.
“Thanks,” Sehun mutters as he sat up wondering why his days were so accident prone.
“Your welcome!” Luhan chirps brightly.
He takes the bundle back from Kyungsoo and thrusts it into Sehun’s surprised arms.
“Say ‘hi’ to Qwerty!” He says enthusiastically, beaming expectantly at Sehun.
Qwerty?
Sehun blinks and looks at thing he was holding in his arms and notices that it’s a small, blue parakeet.
“Um… hi…”
“Yixing’s cousin’s friend’s little sister’s best friend didn’t want him anymore, so I took him,” Luhan explained, retrieving Qwerty back before Sehun has an anxiety attack.
“…Oh…”
Luhan had introduced Yixing to Sehun a few days after Sehun had joined the Decathlon team. Yixing was an easy going fellow that always looked serious, but Sehun soon learned it was because he was often lost in his thoughts about unicorn, guitars, and piano. They got along pretty well, nodding to each other when they pass each other in the hallways and making small talk when they meet each other after school, Luhan still busy with his board member stuff.
“He’s cute, isn’t he?” Luhan gushes, holding Qwerty in Sehun’s face. As if on cue, Qwerty yawns and stretches out his neck, closing his beak over Sehun’s nose. Sehun yelps and Luhan falls back on his heels, laughing.
“Simply adorable,” Sehun states once Qwerty lets go of him, rubbing his nose and shooting resentful looks at a chortling Kyungsoo.
“Mhmm. Aren’t you adorable?” Luhan croons.
Sehun looks at Luhan, and his heart skips a beat as he takes in his soft features and gentle eyes looking adoringly at the small parakeet. Luhan strokes its head slowly, and it lets out a low rumbling sound while inclining its head towards Luhan’s touch. A small giggle escapes Luhan, and Sehun snaps out of his trance as Luhan stands up.
“Anyways, I’m making it the class mascot,” he declares, coaxing the budgie back into its cage.
“I told you, Luhan, we don’t need a class macot,” Joonmyun begins, putting down his pencil. “And if we did, it would be an eagle, not a para-“
“There’s a bird in the classroom!!!” Chanyeol screams once more.
“We know, Chanyeol, we know,” Kyungsoo says wearily.
“….I love birds.”
“Ooookay then. But we still don’t need a class mascot or whatever,” Joonmyun insists, standing up.
“Yes, we do!” Luhan says as he clucks his tongue at the bird.
“No, we don’t!”
“Yes, w-”
“Will you two shut up?”
Sehun, who had been watching the argument like a tennis match, turns his attention to a boy sitting at the far corner, evidently just woken from his nap.
“Sorry, Baekhyun,” Luhan says cheerfully as he skips over to him. “Did you have a good nap? It’s time for class, you know.”
Baekhyun, the boy, rolls his eyes playfully.
“Well, I wouldn’t have known, since both the president and the vice president are squabbling like three year olds,” he states. “And to think you’re the oldest out of us after Minseok.”
He gestures towards a boy with adorably chubby cheeks standing next to Joonmyun. Sehun recognized him as the treasurer before registering what Baekhyun had just said.
“Luhan is older than me?” He blurts out.
The room falls silent, much to his embarrassment, but Luhan breaks the silence with a laugh.
“Yup, I am the second oldest in this class, maknae.”
On that day, Sehun also finds out that his life has been a lie and that Luhan is a vampire.
It is a month later when Sehun finds out that Luhan is perhaps the most caring person in the universe.
November is approaching, and the chill is already present in the air. Students don their scarves and winter coats as they trudge over wet, grey asphalt. The occasional ray of sunlight is the only thing that brightens the students’ days as exams and the first Academic Decathlon scrimmage approach.
Tension in B226 is higher than ever as the day of their first Scrimmage inches towards them. The period is spent in almost complete silence as the class frantically read and re-read their study guides, muttering information under their breath, highlighters flying over the pages. The previous chatter and laughter are replaced with sounds of pages turning and pencils scratching against paper. The cheerful atmosphere seemed almost nonexistent, fading just like the bright sun and the blue sky.
It is on these days, Luhan seems like their ray of sunshine, flitting through the rows of seats handing out snacks and drinks. It is on days when Sehun is feeling the most stressed, having taken a test in every class, Luhan brings his favorite chocolate bubble tea.
Luhan is nice, alright. That is an established fact, something one knew about him before even really knowing him. But once one really knew him, knew Luhan, the boy who fawned over a parakeet named Qwerty, they’ll find out that his true kindness isn’t what people see and go “Aww, you’re so nice,” over, but what people feel when they return home and are laying in bed, staring at the ceiling and recounting the day’s events.
“Two, one, one, two.”
Sehun looks up from his Chemistry worksheet and sees Luhan leaning down next to him.
“Pardon?”
“Two, one, one, two,” Luhan repeats, angling his chin at the worksheet. “That’s the answer to number twelve.
Sehun does some quick calculations and finds that the answer is indeed two, one, one, two. As he quietly fills in the numbers, he wonders to himself how in the world Luhan had balanced the equation so quickly when he had slaved over this problem for the last five minutes.
“Your number five is wrong,” Luhan mutters, peering at the paper once more. “You have an extra Oxygen in the products. Here, let me show you.”
Luhan spends the next ten minutes or so helping Sehun work through his worksheet. By the last problem, Sehun finally feels like he has some idea of what he’s doing.
“Thank you,” he says shyly as he tucks the paper safely into his folder.
“You’re welcome!”
Sehun looks up as Luhan shoots him a dazzling smile, and he feels his heart does a skip-jump. Gulping, he shakily returns to smile and gives his full attention to Joonmyun, who is finally about to start the afterschool study session.
By the time Joonmyun finally dismisses the class, the small drizzle has turned into a downpour of rain. Sehun sighs to himself as he adjusts the straps on his backpack, bracing himself for a long, wet trek home. As he steps out of the school building, an umbrella is suddenly placed over him. He turns to see Luhan standing next to him, holding his pale blue muffin umbrella over the two.
“I’ll walk you home,” Luhan offers with a smile.
“It’s okay,” Sehun says quickly. “I don’t live that far.”
“I insist.”
Luhan grabs Sehun’s arm and begins pulling him towards the direction of his house. Sehun has no idea how he knows where he lives, but Luhan tells him that the board members have all the contact information of the class.
As they walk to Sehun’s house, Luhan makes mild small talk about everything, literally. He talks about Joonmyun’s annoying feet tapping habit, Baekhyun’s obsession over eyeliner, Mr. Kim’s new teacher assistant who loves bunnies, and even about Chanyeol’s new sneakers (which are an obnoxious lime green with bright red shoe laces).
Sehun finds the conversation effortless, for once, mostly because Luhan is the one doing the talking while he listens and occasionally puts in a “mhmm” and an “oh, is that so.” Luhan seems satisfied enough with the answers.
“Ah, it’s here, right?” Luhan says, pausing outside of Sehun’s gate.
He nods, before flipping the latch open and turning to Luhan.
“Um… thank you,” he says quietly, eyes not meeting Luhan’s.
“You’re welcome,” Luhan says, a smile evident even in his voice.
He giggles as Sehun fiddles with the latch some more-eyes darting from his front door to Luhan, and then back to the door-and gives him a small pat on the head, ruffling his hair.
“Bye, Sehun,” Luhan chirps, spinning on his heel and hopping down the street. He stops halfway down the block to turn around and wave at Sehun.
Sehun, having not realized that he was still standing there, watching Luhan, lifts a hand hesitantly and waves back.
“Go inside!” Luhan calls. “You’re going to get sick.”
Sehun flushes before stumbling through the gates and fumbling with his keys. He could almost hear Luhan’s laugh from where he was standing. When he finally manages to push open his door, he pauses and looks back, as if on instinct, and his eyes are sweeping over bare sidewalk, the concrete being painted over by the harsh rain.
Something similar to disappointment builds in him as he scans the block, trying to catch sight of a blue umbrella that was no longer there. Shaking off the unfamiliar feeling, he enters the house and trudges up the musky staircase, his socked feet making the only noise.
As he settles at his desk, he feels his pocket vibrate, and he pulls out his phone.
To: Sehun
Sehun-ah, don’t forget to bring an umbrella tomorrow ^^
~Luhan
P.S. I told you I had everyone’s contact information >:3
A smile spreads on Sehun’s face as he spins in his chair, clutching his phone and staring at the illuminated screen.
It is weeks later when Sehun finds out that Luhan lives on the other side of town.
Hours slide into days and weeks fade into months, and before they know it, the first Academic Decathlon Scrimmage hurtles into their Saturday morning and leaves them with a bunch of First Place ribbons and just as many Second and Third Place ones.
By the time the awards ceremony is over, the Acadec team is tired and satisfied, ready to fall asleep on the bus and take a long, hot shower at home. After Joonmyun finishes his congratulatory speech to the team, the bus falls into a sort of calm, homely silence, and everyone is either sleeping or gazing out the window, lost in their dreams or their thoughts. Luhan has his book open in his lap and his eyes fixed on the passing trees.
Sehun is sitting beside him, staring at his hands and occasionally glancing at Luhan. He can’t help but notice the dark circles under Luhan’s eyes and the much too weary look on his face. Sehun remembers the Luhan stumbling into classroom, eyelids nearly shutting, plopping into his chair and letting his head drop onto his arms. When asked if he was okay, Luhan would mumble that he had to study for three tests the day before closing his eyes and dozing off.
He remembers the Luhan that, despite sleeping only two hours a night, would always smile and mutter explanations and instructions to those who needed help, never getting frustrated, never getting impatient. Joonmyun and Xiumin would always look at him with worried expressions, only to be reassured with a bright smile from Luhan. That smile would stay on Luhan’s face until class ends and Yixing is standing outside the door, earphones plugged in, waiting for Luhan. That is when Luhan lets the smile slip off his face and whispers something in Chinese to Yixing. Yixing would wrap his arm around Luhan and turn around to shoot a reassuring smile to Sehun, who would always be atching them, before heading out of the school building.
He also remembers the Luhan sitting in a desolate hallway with his backpack sitting forlornly beside him, head down and arms placed haphazardly on his knees. He doesn’t notice Sehun’s presence until his soft, “hey,” a “hey” that shocked not only Luhan but also Sehun himself.
“A-are you okay?” Sehun asks, licking his dry lips as Luhan looks at him clouded eyes.
“Yeah,” Luhan mutters, letting his head drop again.
A wave of worry and panic grips Sehun as he feels a sense of hopelessness take over him. Suddenly, he wants to run, to run so fast that he’s running out of his own skin, shedding the skin known as “Sehun” and just run. He feels his palms beginning to sweat and licks his lips again, a gesture of nervousness. Just as he is about to spin around and walk away, Luhan looks up, a blinding smile present on his face.
“Yeah, I’m okay,” he repeats, getting up from the floor with a spring in his step that appears a second too late.
“I…” Sehun begins, eyes sweeping over Luhan. “…Okay.”
Luhan giggles before bending down to retrieve his backpack and grabbing Sehun’s arm.
“Come on, let’s go to class.”
“Sehun? Sehun, is there something on my face?”
Sehun snaps out of his daze and realizes that he has been staring intently at Luhan, who had stopped staring out the window. He cheeks color, and he immediately lowers his eyes, opting to stare at his feet instead.
“N-no,” he says meekly, clearing his throat.
Luhan smiles at Sehun’s fidgety actions and closes his book, dropping it onto Sehun’s lap.
“Hold it for me, will you?” Luhan says, leaning back in his chair and closing his eyes.
Sehun stares at the Luhan for a while, marveling over how the evening sunlight splays perfectly across his cheeks, tingeing them a soft orange. Luhan’s chest rises and falls at an even pace, and Sehun absently wonders if he’s having a good dream.
Once again, Sehun feels that suddenly all-too-familiar sensation of quickened breathing and irregular heartbeats, something that appears whenever he’s in Luhan’s presence. He feels the need to look away, to stare at the back of Baekhyun’s chair, at the aisle littered with jackets, at his hands, just anywhere away from Luhan. But he can’t and instead, continues gazing at Luhan. Soon, weariness gets the better of him, and he lets his eyes flutter close, taking in one last image of the other boy.
The name of an angel passes through his mind just before he slips into unconsciousness and lets his head fall onto Luhan’s shoulder.
“Hey, Luhan, Sehun, we’re almo-. Oh. He’s sleeping,” Joonmyun says dumbly, staring at Sehun as if he’s never seen a sleeping boy before.
“Yeah,” Luhan says good-naturedly. “He fell asleep halfway through the ride. Must’ve been tired from the endless hours of studying.”
He lifts his hand and brushes Sehun’s hair away from his eyes, almost an instinctive touch, and smiles.
“How about you, Luhan?” Joonmyun asks, concern filling his eyes. “You’ve been staying up really late with all the crap from school.”
“I’m fine,” Luhan replies airily. “I couldn’t sleep on the bus, but I closed my eyes for a while. Until this idiot fell asleep on me, that is.”
Luhan smiles again as he ruffles Sehuns hair. In response, Sehun snuggles up closer to him.
Sehun finds out about Luhan’s beautiful vocals and love for music a few days before winter vacation
He’s walking through the music hall during lunch, heading towards his usual shady tree, when he hears a soft melody of Chinese in a familiar voice he can’t place floating from one of the classrooms, accompanied by the simple presses of piano keys. He slows his steps as he reaches the slightly open door to the classroom and admires the music for a few seconds. He closes his eyes, letting it flow over him like a soft, methodical river, before opening them and speeding up.
Then, he hears a cough and a soft mutter of, “Damn, my cold still isn’t better yet.”
He pauses midstride and quickly backtracks, leaning to peek into the room. Sure enough, he sees Luhan, bent over and digging through his backpack. He steps into the room just as Luhan looks up, and with a gasp, he’s tumbling off the piano chair.
“A-are you okay?” Sehun asks, hurrying over to him but stopping a few feet away, arm stretched out hesitantly.
Luhan shoots him a look before grabbing Sehun’s reluctant hand, hoisting himself up.
“Didn’t think of warning me, did you?” He says accusingly, brushing himself off.
“Sorry,” Sehun mumbles, looking at his shuffling feet.
Luhan observes him for a few seconds before laughing. He claps him on the back a few times and leads him towards the piano, situating the both of them on the chair.
“Don’t worry, I was just joking,” he says merrily, glancing at Sehun.
Sehun nods uncertainly before averting his attention towards the piano. Silence settles calmly between them as Sehun strokes the black and white keys.
Plunk.
“I didn’t know you play the piano,” Sehun says softly as he proceeds to press another key.
Plunk. Plunk.
“Oh, I don’t. I was just fooling around.”
Plunk.
“It sounded pretty nice to me.”
Silence.
Sehun looks up from the piano keys and at Luhan, wondering why he had not replied. He sees Luhan gazing out the window above them, eyes squinting against the soft sunrays and expression unreadable. Luhan bites his lip and drops his gaze, closing his eyes momentarily before smiling at Sehun.
“Thank you!” He says in a voice too sickly cheerful for Sehun. “How about you, Sehun? Do you play the piano?”
Plunk.
Sehun stares at his finger pressing the key for a few seconds before taking a deep breath, mind spinning from the exhilaration of what he was about to do. He closes his eyes and reassures himself, telling himself it was alright, that Luhan was next to him. Strangely enough, that very thought is comforting and warm, and it gives Sehun courage. He spreads his fingers.
Luhan’s eyes widen as a soothing tune floats from the piano and from Sehun’s fingers as they scuttle across the keyboard. He can’t place the song, but he’s pretty sure it’s one of Chopin’s nocturnes, having heard it hundreds of times while watching Baekhyun practice piano. His eyebrows furrow as Sehun continues playing, striking every note with perfect rhythm, perfect dynamics, perfect everything.
But…
“Chopin’s Nocturne, Opus 9, number 1 in B Minor,” Sehun murmurs as he finishes the last arpeggio.
“It’s nice,” Luhan admits, staring at the keys. “Really nice. Everything was perfect. Baekhyun would hate you.”
Sehun smiles at the last comment, knowing of Baekhyun’s obsession over the piano, but he can feel a but coming.
“But….”
There it was.
“But it was just lacking something. It… It was just so dead; it was like a machine playing the piano, o-or maybe a robot, just plunking on the keys. It wasn’t playing the piano; it was more like just remembering the notes and pressing the keys. I-it was just missing the feeling you usually get when listening to one of Chopin’s nocturnes or whatever,” Luhan mutters, more to himself than to anyone else.
With a small gasp, his eyes flit to Sehun, as if he barely remembered that he was there.
“I-I mean, never mind, just ignore me,” he stutters quickly. “It’s not like I’m in a-“
“No,” Sehun interrupts. “No, you’re right. That’s what everyone says.”
Plunk.
“They, even those who have no music experience, always tell me that I was a genius at memorizing the music, but not at playing the piano. They always tell me that I couldn’t play it, like really play it.”
Sehun glances down at his fingers as he registers his senseless jumble of words, but Luhan nods in understanding.
“Yeah,” he says, moving to place his hands next to Sehun’s.
Sehun smiles at the way their skin tones match and waits for Luhan to begin playing, removing his hands and sitting back. He never does.
Instead, Luhan takes in a shaky breath, closing his eyes again, before standing up. He circles around the chair and kneels by his backpack, grabbing his books.
“Anyways,” he begins, fiddling with the straps of his backpack. “I’ve got to get to class now. You should go to.”
He smiles at Sehun, waves, and heads down the hallway towards his math class. Sehun doesn’t miss the lingering look Luhan sends the piano.
Snow is beginning to cover the grey cement outside and Christmas day soon arrives, and Sehun is not surprised to find the house bare and cold, nothing like the cozy, laughter-filled homes he would walk past every day, returning from school and rigorous Academic Decathlon practice. He wakes up in his still dark room, curtains drawn and walls white and undecorated. He barely glances at the closed door across the hallway as he makes his way down the stairs, grabbing a slice of bread and stuffing it in his mouth, washing it down with a glass of cold milk.
He rips off a post it note from the pad stuck on the refrigerator and scrawls,
I’m going out, I’ll be home late.
He knows it will find its home in the trashcan later, barely even looked at, and he knows that he doesn’t have to write a note since no one will miss him, but he does anyways. He also toasts another piece of bread, laying out various jams and butter and pouring another cup of milk, heating it up.
Then, he hears footsteps sound on the staircase as he bundles himself up in overcoats and scarves. He’s out the door before they reach the bottom, and like he does every year, he leaves a small box wrapped in red cellophane on the coffee table.
He knows it will still be there when he gets back, but he puts it there anyways.
“NOOO!! GIVE ME BACK MY ALBUM-DON’T PUT IT TH-YOU’RE GETTING IT DIR-…I hate you.”
Baekhyun flops back onto the couch in Chanyeol’s living room and glares daggers at everyone who looks at him. His new TaeTiSeo’s Twinkle CD lays in the middle of chip crumbs and salsa dip. He feels like crying and blames everything on Chanyeol who just has to laugh while eating (it’s disgusting, and food flies out of his mouth).
Sehun laughs nervously and scoots a few inches away from Baekhyun, staring at the wall and begging it for help. Baekhyun looks pointedly at him.
“Hey, maknae, don’t you think that’s rude?” He says, pointing an accusing finger at Sehun. “Get your ass back here and talk to me; I don’t bite.”
Startled, Sehun blinks a few times before immediately moving back to Baekhyun’s side, sitting straight as a stick and still staring straight ahead. Baekhyun laughs and whacks him on the shoulder a few times.
“Loosen up dude, it’s Christmas. We don’t have a Christmas party to have you sitting here all uptight,” Baekhyun says loudly, popping open another can of coke. “Yah, Park Chanyeol, I saw that! Hands off my CD! Kyungsoo, would you clean up the table and wipe my CD? And make sure Chanyeol does not touch it.”
Kyungsoo sighs wearily and untangles himself from the bundle of blankets he wrapped himself in. Baekhyun nods at him, satisfied, before turning back to Sehun.
“So, opened any Christmas presents yet?” Baekhyun asked, gesturing to his TTS CD. “My mom bought that for me,” he declares proudly.
Sehun stiffens up considerably for a few seconds before forcing himself to relax. He opens his mouth to reply that no, he has not gotten any presents because there’s no one to give him any, and the only person that would is probably too busy with work to even care¸ but promptly, a package is dropped into his lap.
He looks up, surprised, as Baekhyun snorts and returns to screaming at Chanyeol over some other trivial thing.
“Merry Christmas,” Luhan says cheerfully, nodding at the present. “Open it.”
Sehun picks up the box gingerly, but doesn’t open it. He looks at Luhan.
“I,” he licks his lips. “I don’t have a present for you.”
Luhan laughs.
“It doesn’t matter,” he says earnestly, sitting himself next to Sehun.
“I…” Sehun begins, ready to protest and say that he really couldn’t accept it, but Luhan cuts him off.
“Just open it,” Luhan whines, wriggling in his seat. “Hurry!”
Sehun looks at the box for a while before nodding. “Okay.”
He rips off the wrapping paper carefully, placing the sticky ribbon flower to the side. Luhan takes it and playfully sticks it on Sehun’s sweater sleeve as Sehun lifts the lid of the brown box. He blinks and slowly lifts out what’s inside as Luhan bounces up and down next to him.
“Do you like it, do you like it?” Luhan urges, nudging him and poking him with every word.
“It’s… really… cute,” Sehun says truthfully as he turns the stuffed deer in his hands.
“It is, huh?” Luhan says excitedly before chuckling. “It’s for you to remember me.”
Sehun looks at Luhan curiously, wondering why a deer would remind him of Luhan and why Luhan even cared for Sehun to remember him. Luhan replies to his gaze with tracing something on the coffee table.
“Lu…han,” he says slowly, finishing the last stroke of the second word. “That’s my name in Chinese.” He thinks for a minute. “I’m Chinese,” he adds, almost like an after thought.
“I know,” Sehun says softly under his breath. “Lu… han…?”
His words are accented and unsure, but Luhan grins widely and throws an arm around Sehun’s shoulders.
“Yup! The first word is deer, hence, the plushie.”
Luhan reaches over and takes the plushie, waving it in Sehun’s face and making it trot and dance on his lap. Sehun squirms from the tickly feeling but doesn’t stop the smile creeping onto his face as Luhan spreads the deer’s arms (legs?) wide and makes it hug Sehun.
“Sehunnie~ Luhan loves you,” Luhan says playfully, grinning up at Sehun, smile and words blinding and angelic, stealing away Sehun’s breath.
Sehun watches Luhan fiddle with the deer, feeling his heart swell with an emotion he can’t explain, one so unfamiliar to him that it is almost frightening for him, for someone who hates the unknown. He is torn between embracing the feeling that is beckoning him-almost like the light at the end of a long, dark, seemingly endless tunnel-and shrinking away from it, turning his head and lowering his eyes, never to acknowledge it, blocking it out with every fiber of his being. In the end, he can only stare into Luhan’s large, chocolate orbs as he blinks up at him.
“Sehun, what’s wrong?” He asks, eyebrows furrowing so preciously with worry and concern, hand reaching up to lightly brush Sehun’s bangs from his eyes.
It is the contact of skin that tears Sehun out of his reverie, making him flinch and back away ever so discreetly-though it is not missed by Luhan. He draws away, confusion written over his face, but he doesn’t question it, and soon, he is smiling and packing the deer away into the box again. Sehun finds himself being dragged to the kitchen where Kyungsoo had made it his haven, nibbling away on the batch of freshly baked brownies, courtesy of Chanyeol’s mother and Kyungsoo himself. Luhan waltzes past the plate and whisks two away, stuffing one to Sehun, insisting for him to try it with large, pleading, and much too innocent eyes.
Sehun, unable to resist the look Luhan was giving him, bites into the warm brownie, chocolate melting on his tongue. Luhan laughs at the crumbs dribbling from the side of Sehun’s mouth, and grabs a napkin, dabbing at the corner of his lips. This time, Sehun does not flinch, nor does he move away, but he simply stands there, a type of soft and adoring awe filling his eyes as he watches Luhan.
When Luhan pulls away to sling an arm around Kyungsoo and gush about how delicious the brownies were, Sehun find himself missing Luhan’s warm touch as a feeling almost like jealousy swirls around in his chest. And with a simple smile thrown his way by an angel named Luhan, the feeling disappears, and an unexplainable happiness takes its place.
It is then when Sehun realizes that Luhan probably means something to him, something too important and too precious, something he probably should avoid but is unavoidable.
Luhan walks him home again that night, eyes flickering curiously to the dark windows, no presence of light and warmth. Sehun knows it’s going to be a silent, cold night again, but for now, Luhan’s beside him, and for some reason, with Luhan beside him, he feels just a bit warmer, just a bit happier, and despite the fact that they’re in the middle of winter, he thinks that he can almost see spring.
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