Suffocation
Title: Suffocation
Pairing: Yoochun x Junsu
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: I can only wish for this to be true.
Genre: Angst, drama
Length: Oneshot
Warnings: Unbeta-ed, there might be some medical incorrections & it's a crazy solution for the whole DBSK drama
Looking back, Yoochun knew his body had given him warnings about his next asthma attack. He had been an idiot for ignoring it as he was too focused on JYJ's stressing schedule. Eventually, his stupidity almost led to his own death. He had never felt more suffocated physically and emotionally but thinking back about that night, everything was worth it.
Everything had seemed so normal that day. When Yoochun had finally gotten to his house, he was tired but satisfied. It was the kind of tiredness he always felt after a heavy workout. He had gone to bed, too exhausted to do anything else and soon he had drifted to sleep. Later that night, a dream appeared to him, starting out as a joyful memory but ending as the painful present.
Yoochun didn't know how the dream exactly started but before he knew it, he was looking into the blinding spotlights of the stage. The cheering from the crowd was deafening but it made him feel on top of the world. This was why every drop of sweat was worth it. This was why it was worth spilling tears of pain, failure and frustration.
Smiling brightly, feeling as if he could conquer everything he wanted, Yoochun looked at his surroundings, unexpectedly meeting eyes with Yunho, Changmin, Junsu and Jaejoong. His heart almost skipped a beat, looking at their warm smiles and gentle eyes. Yunho... Changmin... How he had yearned to see them again, how he had yearned to be able to touch them again, how he had yearned to be together with them again. How he had hoped there would be a day where they would be one again.
He reached out his hands to his lost friends, his lost brothers, his family. Yoochun let out a deep sigh as his arms closed around the two bodies, hugging them closely, their hearts beating next to his heart. Just like it used to be, just like it should be.
But when he had opened his eyes to look at his comrades, he noticed a sudden change in their features. Since when had Yunho looked so strikingly similar to Jaejoong? Since when had Changmin started looking like Junsu? Yoochun gasped and let go of the bodies as he realized these people were the ones he loved... but not the ones he missed so desperately. He loved them with his whole heart but they weren't the ones he had hugged so closely to his own body. They weren't the ones he had been so desperate to see.
Looking behind him on the stage, he let out a relieved sigh. Yunho and Changmin were standing just a few feet away from him, smiling and bowing to the crowd. While Yoochun was watching the happy faces of the two extremely handsome angels, another person had appeared on stage and had started talking to them. No... No! Yoochun could do nothing but look how Lee Soo Man, his supposed father, walked away, followed by Yunho and Changmin. He was leading them to the black hole that had appeared out of nowhere on the stage.
Finally, Yoochun found his voice. "No!" he exclaimed, running after the disappearing figures. "No! Please don't take them away from me!"
Soo Man turned around, facing Yoochun who immediately felt himself shrinking in the piercing gaze. "Beg all you want but it won't change anything at all, my dear..." he spoke.
Yoochun's insides turned upside down as he helplessly watched how Yunho and Changmin suddenly disappeared into the black hole. He could see how their body went limp after a few seconds of struggling and how the black hole closed itself after it had sucked them in. "NO!" he screamed, sprinting to the place where their bodies had been just a moment ago. Tears filled his eyes as he looked around desperately, trying to find any sign of the tall guys.
"There's no point in trying... Your fate is sealed, this is what you get for choosing the wrong path..." Suddenly, Soo Man's voice filled the place and when Yoochun turned to look at the founder of his old company, he realized the audience was gone and Soo Man had grown to immense proportions.
Yoochun gasped as he saw how another black hole appeared out of nowhere, sucking Jaejoong and Junsu in, just like it had done a few minutes ago with Yunho and Changmin. "NO! NOO!" Yoochun screamed. He tried to make his limbs work but he was frozen to the ground. After a few seconds, his body started running, running to save his friends.
He didn't care that his lungs had started burning from the panic forming deep inside him as he was running to save his friends. He didn't care that he was threatened to be sucked in himself by the black hole. All that mattered, all that he cared about, was saving his friends.
He only didn't seem to be able to get any closer to the devastating hole, no matter how hard he tried. The last thing he heard before he woke up, was the laughter of a victorious Lee Soo Man.
His breathing was ragged and uneven. Yoochun clutched his chest as realization slowly sank in, his mind telling him everything was just a dream. Even though he realized he had just had a nightmare, it didn’t help to control his breathing.
His lungs were burning and Yoochun had trouble trying to breathe properly. Every time he inhaled, it hurt. Every time he exhaled, it hurt. A voice in the back of his head was telling him this asthma attack was unusual but Yoochun was too panicked to realize what it meant.
He didn't know what to do. He had had quite some asthma attacks in his life but none of them had been so painful as this one. He had to get the warm sheets filled with mites off of him, he had to get his inhaler and medications and above all, he had to get help.
Before Yoochun knew it, he had kicked the suffocating sheets off his sweating body and in a panicked attempt to get off his bed, he had fallen out of it. He fell on the ground, his left side painfully throbbing because of the harsh contact with the floor. The fall had forced the little air left in his lungs out of his body and Yoochun found himself struggling even more to get air.
His medicine... His medicine... Where was it? Yoochun got on his knees, trying to find his inhaler in his drawers. After a few suffocating seconds, he managed to find it and his trembling hands brought the lifesaver to his mouth.
Trying to inhale deeply, his lungs filled with the medicine, easing the pain a little. Still, it was very hard and painful to keep breathing.
He had to get help. Clutching onto his fast heaving chest, his nails digging deeply through the thin fabric of his plain T-shirt, he searched for his phone. He let out a relieved sigh when his hands found the small devise. The screen lit up and after unlocking the keyboard, Yoochun dialed Junsu’s number.
After a few seconds of listening to the tut tut tut-tone, he heard a very sleepy, "Hello?"
Yoochun tried to form words with the little air he had in his lungs. He tried so very hard. But it was already too hard to even breathe in and out. He was gasping and panting into the phone, not being able to get any coherent words out. He realized how much he sounded like a prank caller but he wasn't able to control it.
"What is this?" Junsu's sleepy voice asked. He obviously wasn't going to hang on the line for any longer than ten seconds. Yoochun realized he probably hadn't looked on the screen to see who had been calling. He had to be fast.
"Help..." he managed to choke out. "Please, come..." his breathing became even worse after saying those words. He was sure he was suffocating. He could feel sweat trickling down his spine, his heart was beating so fast that it might be able to jump out of his chest and he had never felt so scared before.
"Yoochun?" the voice instantly became more awake. After a silence which was only broken by the unsteady breathing of Yoochun, Junsu said, "Hold on, I'm coming!"
The words were followed by a click and the line went dead. Yoochun curled into a ball, trying to make himself as small as possible, hugging his own body tightly to ease the pain. He tried to calm himself down but it was very hard considering how hard it was to breathe. The pain was fogging his mind and all that mattered to Yoochun was to breathe. Even though the short, shaky breaths he was taking caused the pain to become even worse. The pain and the panic became so bad that tears had started to form in his eyes, spilling over, leaving wet trails on his cheeks.
It felt as if it cost an eternity before Junsu was able to get to Yoochun's house, though it couldn't have taken him longer than five minutes with the car. Yoochun didn't hear how keys were put into the door, he didn't hear how Junsu failed to open the door three times due to his panic and he didn't hear how fast Junsu ran to the room where the choked sounds were coming from.
The only thing he knew was that suddenly, strong arms were wrapped around his trembling form and hands were rubbing soothing circles on his back. A high pitched voice was talking him, cutting through the misty fogs of pain in his head.
"Shh... Shhh... Calm down, everything is okay, shh." Junsu's voice assured him. Yoochun tried to do as Junsu told him but it was impossible. The nightmare had left a heavy weight in his stomach, pressing down, suffocating him.
"Don't... leave." Yoochun reached out his hand, grasping the soft fabric of Junsu's shirt, pulling him closer, not caring that it made it even harder to breathe. "Please... don't."
"Why would I leave? Shhh, relax, relax." Junsu said, continuing to rub in soothing circles on Yoochun's back. His other hand reached out to gently wipe away the tears which had been streaming down Yoochun's face. He brushed the sweaty bangs out of his face.
"I dreamed... everyone... left." Yoochun choked out, panicking again when thinking back of his nightmare. "Please... Call Yun... Yunho... Changmin."
Junsu looked astounded by Yoochun's request but seeing how his lips were turning a light shade of blue, he said, "Nobody's leaving you, I'm here, aren't I? It was just a bad dream, shh... I don't think it's rational to call Yunho or Changmin... Let's call the ambulance instead, shan’t we?"
"No, no, no." Yoochun started sobbing, this time the tears were because of emotional hurt. "I need... need to hear... their voices." he croaked, struggling out of Junsu's arms and grabbing his own phone once again.
His trembling hands were searching for the names of his ex-members and soon found 'Jung Yunho'. Without giving it another thought, Yoochun hit the green button even though he heard Junsu's dolphin voice protesting on the background.
"Helloo?" Yoochun's heart almost skipped a beat when he heard the sleepy, husky voice. He could see Junsu motioning him to stop, to hang up and just go see a doctor. But Yoochun was too stubborn. He cared more for his members than he cared for his own life.
"Are you... okay?" Yoochun whispered, breathing still uneven and harsh.
"Who is this?"
Silence.
"Yoo-Yoochun."
Another silence.
Then Junsu couldn't take it anymore and wrestled the phone violently out of Yoochun's trembling hands. "Please, tell this stubborn guy to go to the hospital, this is the worst asthma attack I've ever seen him having but he'd rather call you than go to the hospital because he had a nightmare about everyone leaving him!" he cried out into the phone.
Even though Yoochun wanted to prove his friend wrong by trying to control his breathing, his body betrayed him by breaking out into a coughing fit.
Junsu almost dropped Yoochun's phone out of shock, kneeling on the ground while starting to pat Yoochun on the back. "Yah, I'm just going to call the damn ambulance! You're not going to die because of your damn stubbornness!"
Not caring that Yunho was still on the other side of the line, Junsu hang up and dialed 911. Yoochun didn't struggle, he was fighting to breathe. When he finally lost consciousness, he could have sworn he heard sirens.
-
He heard soft whispers next to him. Gentle hands were caressing his own hands. He realized he was in a brightly lit room as his eyelids colored red because of the light shining on his face. Yoochun stirred and after a few more seconds, he opened his eyes.
"Yoochun?" he recognized the voice. It was familiar to him but it had been a long time since he had heard the voice for the last time.
Afraid of what reality would show him, Yoochun slowly turned his head to see whose voice it was. Yunho. A smile spread on Yoochun’s lips as Yunho squeezed his hand encouragingly. He turned his head to the other side, looking right into the mismatched eyes of Shim Changmin. The joy that was spreading through his body was indescribable.
Lastly, he looked at the remaining two persons in the hospital room. Jaejoong and Junsu. Even though they both looked very worried and even though Yoochun had barely survived an asthma attack, he never felt happier in his life.
His family. They were standing here in this very room.
Reality had torn them apart, life had turned into a nightmare but a nightmare had caused them to reunite.
---------
A/N: Lol I know this is such a crazy solution but well, I forgot to turn off my alarm clock so I was woken up at 7 am and I wasn't able to sleep anymore after that >< And since I really wanted to read a Yoosu asthma fic (but couldn't find any), I decided to write it myself lol. I'm sorry if there are any medical incorrections since I don't have asthma myself and I just read some articles about it. And yeah, this fic was a pain to write since I just wrote it on my iPod lol xD My fingers died~
Edit: So I heard rumors about Yoochun getting hospitalized this morning and I really didn't know about it when I wrote this... >< Hope he will get better soon!
Pairing: Yoochun x Junsu
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: I can only wish for this to be true.
Genre: Angst, drama
Length: Oneshot
Warnings: Unbeta-ed, there might be some medical incorrections & it's a crazy solution for the whole DBSK drama
Looking back, Yoochun knew his body had given him warnings about his next asthma attack. He had been an idiot for ignoring it as he was too focused on JYJ's stressing schedule. Eventually, his stupidity almost led to his own death. He had never felt more suffocated physically and emotionally but thinking back about that night, everything was worth it.
Everything had seemed so normal that day. When Yoochun had finally gotten to his house, he was tired but satisfied. It was the kind of tiredness he always felt after a heavy workout. He had gone to bed, too exhausted to do anything else and soon he had drifted to sleep. Later that night, a dream appeared to him, starting out as a joyful memory but ending as the painful present.
Yoochun didn't know how the dream exactly started but before he knew it, he was looking into the blinding spotlights of the stage. The cheering from the crowd was deafening but it made him feel on top of the world. This was why every drop of sweat was worth it. This was why it was worth spilling tears of pain, failure and frustration.
Smiling brightly, feeling as if he could conquer everything he wanted, Yoochun looked at his surroundings, unexpectedly meeting eyes with Yunho, Changmin, Junsu and Jaejoong. His heart almost skipped a beat, looking at their warm smiles and gentle eyes. Yunho... Changmin... How he had yearned to see them again, how he had yearned to be able to touch them again, how he had yearned to be together with them again. How he had hoped there would be a day where they would be one again.
He reached out his hands to his lost friends, his lost brothers, his family. Yoochun let out a deep sigh as his arms closed around the two bodies, hugging them closely, their hearts beating next to his heart. Just like it used to be, just like it should be.
But when he had opened his eyes to look at his comrades, he noticed a sudden change in their features. Since when had Yunho looked so strikingly similar to Jaejoong? Since when had Changmin started looking like Junsu? Yoochun gasped and let go of the bodies as he realized these people were the ones he loved... but not the ones he missed so desperately. He loved them with his whole heart but they weren't the ones he had hugged so closely to his own body. They weren't the ones he had been so desperate to see.
Looking behind him on the stage, he let out a relieved sigh. Yunho and Changmin were standing just a few feet away from him, smiling and bowing to the crowd. While Yoochun was watching the happy faces of the two extremely handsome angels, another person had appeared on stage and had started talking to them. No... No! Yoochun could do nothing but look how Lee Soo Man, his supposed father, walked away, followed by Yunho and Changmin. He was leading them to the black hole that had appeared out of nowhere on the stage.
Finally, Yoochun found his voice. "No!" he exclaimed, running after the disappearing figures. "No! Please don't take them away from me!"
Soo Man turned around, facing Yoochun who immediately felt himself shrinking in the piercing gaze. "Beg all you want but it won't change anything at all, my dear..." he spoke.
Yoochun's insides turned upside down as he helplessly watched how Yunho and Changmin suddenly disappeared into the black hole. He could see how their body went limp after a few seconds of struggling and how the black hole closed itself after it had sucked them in. "NO!" he screamed, sprinting to the place where their bodies had been just a moment ago. Tears filled his eyes as he looked around desperately, trying to find any sign of the tall guys.
"There's no point in trying... Your fate is sealed, this is what you get for choosing the wrong path..." Suddenly, Soo Man's voice filled the place and when Yoochun turned to look at the founder of his old company, he realized the audience was gone and Soo Man had grown to immense proportions.
Yoochun gasped as he saw how another black hole appeared out of nowhere, sucking Jaejoong and Junsu in, just like it had done a few minutes ago with Yunho and Changmin. "NO! NOO!" Yoochun screamed. He tried to make his limbs work but he was frozen to the ground. After a few seconds, his body started running, running to save his friends.
He didn't care that his lungs had started burning from the panic forming deep inside him as he was running to save his friends. He didn't care that he was threatened to be sucked in himself by the black hole. All that mattered, all that he cared about, was saving his friends.
He only didn't seem to be able to get any closer to the devastating hole, no matter how hard he tried. The last thing he heard before he woke up, was the laughter of a victorious Lee Soo Man.
His breathing was ragged and uneven. Yoochun clutched his chest as realization slowly sank in, his mind telling him everything was just a dream. Even though he realized he had just had a nightmare, it didn’t help to control his breathing.
His lungs were burning and Yoochun had trouble trying to breathe properly. Every time he inhaled, it hurt. Every time he exhaled, it hurt. A voice in the back of his head was telling him this asthma attack was unusual but Yoochun was too panicked to realize what it meant.
He didn't know what to do. He had had quite some asthma attacks in his life but none of them had been so painful as this one. He had to get the warm sheets filled with mites off of him, he had to get his inhaler and medications and above all, he had to get help.
Before Yoochun knew it, he had kicked the suffocating sheets off his sweating body and in a panicked attempt to get off his bed, he had fallen out of it. He fell on the ground, his left side painfully throbbing because of the harsh contact with the floor. The fall had forced the little air left in his lungs out of his body and Yoochun found himself struggling even more to get air.
His medicine... His medicine... Where was it? Yoochun got on his knees, trying to find his inhaler in his drawers. After a few suffocating seconds, he managed to find it and his trembling hands brought the lifesaver to his mouth.
Trying to inhale deeply, his lungs filled with the medicine, easing the pain a little. Still, it was very hard and painful to keep breathing.
He had to get help. Clutching onto his fast heaving chest, his nails digging deeply through the thin fabric of his plain T-shirt, he searched for his phone. He let out a relieved sigh when his hands found the small devise. The screen lit up and after unlocking the keyboard, Yoochun dialed Junsu’s number.
After a few seconds of listening to the tut tut tut-tone, he heard a very sleepy, "Hello?"
Yoochun tried to form words with the little air he had in his lungs. He tried so very hard. But it was already too hard to even breathe in and out. He was gasping and panting into the phone, not being able to get any coherent words out. He realized how much he sounded like a prank caller but he wasn't able to control it.
"What is this?" Junsu's sleepy voice asked. He obviously wasn't going to hang on the line for any longer than ten seconds. Yoochun realized he probably hadn't looked on the screen to see who had been calling. He had to be fast.
"Help..." he managed to choke out. "Please, come..." his breathing became even worse after saying those words. He was sure he was suffocating. He could feel sweat trickling down his spine, his heart was beating so fast that it might be able to jump out of his chest and he had never felt so scared before.
"Yoochun?" the voice instantly became more awake. After a silence which was only broken by the unsteady breathing of Yoochun, Junsu said, "Hold on, I'm coming!"
The words were followed by a click and the line went dead. Yoochun curled into a ball, trying to make himself as small as possible, hugging his own body tightly to ease the pain. He tried to calm himself down but it was very hard considering how hard it was to breathe. The pain was fogging his mind and all that mattered to Yoochun was to breathe. Even though the short, shaky breaths he was taking caused the pain to become even worse. The pain and the panic became so bad that tears had started to form in his eyes, spilling over, leaving wet trails on his cheeks.
It felt as if it cost an eternity before Junsu was able to get to Yoochun's house, though it couldn't have taken him longer than five minutes with the car. Yoochun didn't hear how keys were put into the door, he didn't hear how Junsu failed to open the door three times due to his panic and he didn't hear how fast Junsu ran to the room where the choked sounds were coming from.
The only thing he knew was that suddenly, strong arms were wrapped around his trembling form and hands were rubbing soothing circles on his back. A high pitched voice was talking him, cutting through the misty fogs of pain in his head.
"Shh... Shhh... Calm down, everything is okay, shh." Junsu's voice assured him. Yoochun tried to do as Junsu told him but it was impossible. The nightmare had left a heavy weight in his stomach, pressing down, suffocating him.
"Don't... leave." Yoochun reached out his hand, grasping the soft fabric of Junsu's shirt, pulling him closer, not caring that it made it even harder to breathe. "Please... don't."
"Why would I leave? Shhh, relax, relax." Junsu said, continuing to rub in soothing circles on Yoochun's back. His other hand reached out to gently wipe away the tears which had been streaming down Yoochun's face. He brushed the sweaty bangs out of his face.
"I dreamed... everyone... left." Yoochun choked out, panicking again when thinking back of his nightmare. "Please... Call Yun... Yunho... Changmin."
Junsu looked astounded by Yoochun's request but seeing how his lips were turning a light shade of blue, he said, "Nobody's leaving you, I'm here, aren't I? It was just a bad dream, shh... I don't think it's rational to call Yunho or Changmin... Let's call the ambulance instead, shan’t we?"
"No, no, no." Yoochun started sobbing, this time the tears were because of emotional hurt. "I need... need to hear... their voices." he croaked, struggling out of Junsu's arms and grabbing his own phone once again.
His trembling hands were searching for the names of his ex-members and soon found 'Jung Yunho'. Without giving it another thought, Yoochun hit the green button even though he heard Junsu's dolphin voice protesting on the background.
"Helloo?" Yoochun's heart almost skipped a beat when he heard the sleepy, husky voice. He could see Junsu motioning him to stop, to hang up and just go see a doctor. But Yoochun was too stubborn. He cared more for his members than he cared for his own life.
"Are you... okay?" Yoochun whispered, breathing still uneven and harsh.
"Who is this?"
Silence.
"Yoo-Yoochun."
Another silence.
Then Junsu couldn't take it anymore and wrestled the phone violently out of Yoochun's trembling hands. "Please, tell this stubborn guy to go to the hospital, this is the worst asthma attack I've ever seen him having but he'd rather call you than go to the hospital because he had a nightmare about everyone leaving him!" he cried out into the phone.
Even though Yoochun wanted to prove his friend wrong by trying to control his breathing, his body betrayed him by breaking out into a coughing fit.
Junsu almost dropped Yoochun's phone out of shock, kneeling on the ground while starting to pat Yoochun on the back. "Yah, I'm just going to call the damn ambulance! You're not going to die because of your damn stubbornness!"
Not caring that Yunho was still on the other side of the line, Junsu hang up and dialed 911. Yoochun didn't struggle, he was fighting to breathe. When he finally lost consciousness, he could have sworn he heard sirens.
-
He heard soft whispers next to him. Gentle hands were caressing his own hands. He realized he was in a brightly lit room as his eyelids colored red because of the light shining on his face. Yoochun stirred and after a few more seconds, he opened his eyes.
"Yoochun?" he recognized the voice. It was familiar to him but it had been a long time since he had heard the voice for the last time.
Afraid of what reality would show him, Yoochun slowly turned his head to see whose voice it was. Yunho. A smile spread on Yoochun’s lips as Yunho squeezed his hand encouragingly. He turned his head to the other side, looking right into the mismatched eyes of Shim Changmin. The joy that was spreading through his body was indescribable.
Lastly, he looked at the remaining two persons in the hospital room. Jaejoong and Junsu. Even though they both looked very worried and even though Yoochun had barely survived an asthma attack, he never felt happier in his life.
His family. They were standing here in this very room.
Reality had torn them apart, life had turned into a nightmare but a nightmare had caused them to reunite.
---------
A/N: Lol I know this is such a crazy solution but well, I forgot to turn off my alarm clock so I was woken up at 7 am and I wasn't able to sleep anymore after that >< And since I really wanted to read a Yoosu asthma fic (but couldn't find any), I decided to write it myself lol. I'm sorry if there are any medical incorrections since I don't have asthma myself and I just read some articles about it. And yeah, this fic was a pain to write since I just wrote it on my iPod lol xD My fingers died~
Edit: So I heard rumors about Yoochun getting hospitalized this morning and I really didn't know about it when I wrote this... >< Hope he will get better soon!