Defect
Title: Defect
Pairing: Yunho x Jaejoong
Rating: R
Disclaimer: I'll just buy my own Jaejoong robot 8)
Genre: AU, angst, drama, romance, scifi, tragedy
Length: Oneshot
Warnings: Unbeta-ed, mentions of sex, cruelty.
Defect
"No! I refuse to!" Jaejoong screamed. He had always felt so used, always felt like nothing but an object for sex. Strictly spoken, he was nothing else than that but at the same time, he felt like so much more.
"No, this Junsu guy is weird. He has all these weird kinks which I simply refuse to do!" Jaejoong argued, his angry eyes fixated on the face of his boss. However, before he's able to answer, Jaejoong has already said, "You know what, I'm outta here."
It was the third time this week that he tried to escape and Jaejoong knew that he'd be dead if he'd get caught. However, that was a worry for later. His legs started to move, to speed up until he was finally running through the streets of Seoul.
There were people following him but the man couldn't care less about it. He knew his athletic body was faster than theirs. The only problem was staying out of their hands.
Jaejoong lost track of time as he kept running and running, a breeze blowing through his hair. He found himself wishing he could fly but he knew his creators didn't give him that kind of power. So he just continued running as if there was no tomorrow.
However, the men of his boss were everywhere in the city. When Jaejoong suddenly felt hands closing around his arm, he knew he had exactly fifteen seconds to break free.
He failed. He had never been made to be strong anyway.
The last thing Jaejoong remembered before closing his eyes was this feeling of being forced down to the ground, his face pushed into the mud, while incoherent screams were leaving his mouth. It all became dark before his eyes when a hand settled behind his right ear, pushing firmly into the hollow place behind his ear lobe.
~
“Oh, you’re finally awake. How do you feel?” there was a soft voice intruding the mechanics of his head and the man could feel the radars in his ears trying to catch the words that were said, a reflex his creators had put into him. Jaejoong’s first master had liked someone who would obey him no matter what he said, someone who could satisfy all his needs which referred to sexual needs but also doing house chores and, most importantly, he wanted someone who looked pretty and frail. Jaejoong had been the outcome.
He opened his eyes, his eyelids stiff because of the unfamiliarity of not having used them in a long time, his lenses focusing on the man before his eyes. There was still this haunted feeling of his last memory in his system, of being forced to do something he didn’t want to, and his eyes flash anxiously through the room. “Who are you? What do you want?” he has sprung onto his feet, his eyes still darting through the room to analyze the situation he has gotten himself into, but he can see no one else except for the friendly looking man in front of him.
The walls of the room were painted in broken white, the red and black furniture blending in nicely with the colours. It seemed as if he was in the living room of a house. There were several impressionistic paintings placed against the walls; Jaejoong immediately noticed that one of them was a real Monet. Of course, he shouldn’t be paying any attention to art when he could be in a seriously threatening situation. He fixated his eyes once again on the man in front of him.
“Calm down...” the man slowly got closer, his hands raised with the palms up to show that he had nothing but good intentions, “I’m Yunho. I want nothing from you, I just found you... and I wondered why someone would throw you out when you seemed to be perfectly fine.”
“So they did throw me out after all,” Jaejoong said bitterly, a look of disgust on his face, “Let’s just see how they’re going to survive without me. I was at least half of their income.”
“Could you explain me why you were thrown out then?” Yunho asked curiously. Jaejoong observed the man, an eyebrow raised slightly, as he finally realized that this man was the person who had saved him. If it hadn’t been for him, he would have rotten away in a garbage can.
“Isn’t it obvious? I’m defective. I’ve been declared broken beyond repair, that’s why they threw me away. Just... who exactly are you, Yunho-sshi? How could you bring me back to consciousness when my old owners probably did everything to destroy me; they shut me down and probably cut a few important wires. How...?” only now did Jaejoong realize how strange everything was. How could he just wake up in the house of a complete stranger? He clearly remembered the struggle before he had been shut down.
“I don’t think that’s really important, is it? Shouldn’t you be thankful to me?” a small smile appeared on Yunho’s face, “Anyway, you want some clothes? It’s kind of awkward to talk to someone who doesn’t have any clothes on, even if you’re a robot.”
Jaejoong relaxed his shoulders. His eyes had been darting through the room all this time, scanning it for any possible threats, but his brain quickly stopped after a few minutes. There was nothing. “Thank you,” he said, a small smile playing on his lips, “and yeah, that would be nice.”
~
Jaejoong found himself astounded by Yunho. The man was intelligent, so incredibly intelligent that Jaejoong couldn’t understand anything at all when Yunho would be practicing one of his presentations for him. Instead, the robot just found himself nodding his head and clapping in enthusiasm when Yunho finished.
Life was simple.
He would clean the apartment when Yunho was at work, watch some television programs he didn’t seem to understand when he was bored and he would start cooking at six o’clock so they could start eating at seven when Yunho came home. His life had become a lot more simple and less stressful.
“Tell me,” Yunho had said one day while they had been eating, “Tell me about your past. I barely know anything about you.”
“Why are you interested in the life of a robot? I don’t have a past, I was born in this body and I’ve always looked like this. I don’t have childhood pictures neither did I have a childhood. I was just created this way because my master wanted me to become like this,” Jaejoong said, avoiding the question. It was truthful enough. His whole life, he had been nothing else but a robot, someone who looked like a person but clearly wasn’t. Someone who didn’t have the same rights as other human beings.
“Then tell me about your first master. What kind of man was he?”
Jaejoong hesitated. He didn’t want to tell Yunho about his past, about his shameful past, and yet... the man seemed to understand him, seemed to be willing to take care of him no matter what. After all, he had been the person who had taken his body home, even after it had been dumped mercilessly.
“He was a brute man. No woman wanted him; he was dominant, violent and stubborn. I was one of the first robots created and as you probably know, back then, they only had the technology to manufacture men. My first master - Changmin was his name - had been so desperate back then that he had just bought me with his money... he wouldn’t miss it anyway, he was a rich man. He wanted someone who could take care of him, someone who he could use mercilessly and still wouldn’t complain about it. Yet, he didn’t like the idea of me being a man so instead, he told my creators to make me as beautiful and as feminine as possible. Just like that, I was created.
I used to take care of the man. Even when he would have one of his fits, I’d still put up with him. I was created that way. Even if he’d hit me, if he’d abuse me, if he’d humiliate me, I’d still put up with him. Even when he wanted to have sex, even though I knew I wouldn’t be able to walk the next day, I couldn’t refuse.
Because I was created that way.
A year later, technology found ways to create female robots as well. I was carelessly sold to another man while Changmin bought himself a new wife.”
There, it was out. He had told the story of his pathetic creation where they had intended to make him look and act like a woman as much as possible. He had told the story behind the reasons of his own feminine appearance and characteristics.
“That’s awful,” Yunho said, his eyes filled with horror, “Tell me... tell me more. Who did they sell you to?”
“You still want to hear more? Even when I’m warning you that it’ll only get worse?” Jaejoong laughed, “The life of a thing like me isn’t a bed of roses. It isn’t something that should be casually told when eating, I don’t think you’d still be able to get something in your throat.”
“I still want to hear,” Yunho insisted.
“Fine. My next master was a man called Yoochun. He had been a good friend of Changmin and saw me as nothing else but an used object he had just bought for his friend’s sake. He only saw me as an object, and of course, what else am I? He’d only look at me when he’d come back from work and felt needy. He’d force himself onto me though I don’t think it could be called force when something in my program refused to struggle.
When he got a boyfriend, he sold me.”
“What happened then?” Yunho’s eyes had become wide with curiosity. Jaejoong wondered if this pathetic story about his life was really that interesting but he continued anyway, just because he couldn’t reject Yunho, couldn’t reject the man who had shown him so much love and care.
“I got into prostitution. I was made for sex anyway, so what was the problem? Well, until I started to glitch recently and my boss decided to get rid of me.”
“Glitch? What’s wrong with you?” a slight frown appeared on Yunho’s face, “I haven’t noticed anything.”
“I started to rebel against my owners. I didn’t want to be seen as a tool anymore. I refused to sleep with clients but since I’m one of the most popular products out there and I only cost money if I’d continue this way, they decided to get rid of me. They had already tried to repair me but they’d been told that I was a really old model. They can produce robots better and more efficient than me right now.”
“So they decided to get rid of you,” Yunho concluded.
“Yeah,” Jaejoong shrugged, “Life’s hard.”
There was a silence.
“But at least I have you now.” Jaejoong had never thought his emotions could feel so real, so human-like, but a light blush of embarrassment appeared on his cheeks.
“At least you still have me,” Yunho nodded in agreement, a light smile playing on his lips.
~
"That's an interesting painting," Jaejoong said while pointing at the painting in Yunho's bedroom. It was another piece of impressionism, colours fading in and out of each other to create one big, ideal scenery.
"I love impressionism. It's my favourite kind of genre for paintings," Yunho smiled. "It's so easy to just look at it and lose yourself into a world of fantasy, a world where everything is just so much better and more beautiful.
Monet is my favourite painter. The piece in the living room has been into my family for a few years, ever since they decided in France that he wasn't art anymore. I don't really like the modernistic art movements, cubism and things like that really aren't my thing. My great-grandfather had worked hard to obtain that Monet."
"Really? Wow, that's awesome. Monet is a great painter, I can't believe they decided to get rid of him," Jaejoong said, still staring at the painting.
"I know, the world doesn't recognize real talent anymore. They should. I also can't believe they decided to get rid of you."
A light blush painted Jaejoong's cheeks.
"Mais je peux vivre avec ça, c'est la raison pour laquelle je t'ai trouvé. Maintenant, tu es à moi," words from an unknown language were escaping from Yunho's lips and he looked smug as he pulled Jaejoong closer to him.
"You're such a tease, you know I can't understand French," Jaejoong giggled.
"But I can live with it, it's the reason that I found you. You're mine now," Yunho breathed the translation, his hot breath brushing against Jaejoong's cheek. The blush became even worse.
Not that anyone cared. Yunho's lips crushed on his and everything seemed to disappear.
~
Jaejoong felt like he was soaring after that day. It had only be a kiss, one single kiss, but still... it was a kiss with Yunho. It was the first kiss with a person he loved.
His radars had gone totally wild, Jaejoong swore every part of him was working hard to prevent himself from falling apart in utter happiness. He felt like squealing like a little fangirl. God, this feminine side of him...
He wished he could have someone to talk to so he could tell him or her about his life. He wished he had a friend to call, to call and talk about the intense experience of Yunho's soft lips making contact with his, of his tongue slipping into his mouth, leaving the taste of Yunho behind.
How he wished.
Jaejoong found himself cleaning the house instead, burned on making Yunho return to a clean home filled with love. He wanted to give the man he loved a good life.
He cleaned the living room, cleaned the kitchen, cleaned every room he saw. His lenses would focus on the amount of dust lying in every room, analyzing the whole room before he started to clean every single thing his lenses noticed.
He washed Yunho's clothes and ironed them, a happy smile playing on his lips when he put the suits back into his closet. Jaejoong felt like a wife doing things for her husband and it made him happy to know he made life easier for the man who took care of him, the man who could make him feel butterflies.
Jaejoong rearranged everything in the closet, sorting it on colour, brand and type of clothing. However, he was surprised to feel something beneath a stack of clothes. When he lifts the clothing, he gasps. There was a gun lying right there.
~
Jaejoong had asked Yunho carefully about the gun. Yunho had only said that everyone had one now, that it was nothing special. That he was impressed and touched by Jaejoong cleaning the house.
The robot had only nodded. That's right, my old owners all had a gun too. It was for self defence.
The feeling of discomfort soon disappeared as Yunho kept complimenting his hard work. Jaejoong smiles when he sees the man thoroughly enjoying the food he had cooked.
~
When Jaejoong had lived together with Yunho for two months, he had started to fully trust the man. He had never known anyone as gentle and caring as this man, someone who expected nothing in return for all the things he did. Exactly for this reason, for this selflessness, did Jaejoong feel even more pressured than normal to give this man something in return.
He had everything planned out. Dinner had been great and the mood had been set with a good glass of wine. When Jaejoong got up to move the dishes, his hand got stopped by Yunho’s. “I’ll do the dishes,” he said, his eyes soft, “You’ve worked hard today, it was absolutely amazing. You should take a rest instead.”
Jaejoong thought of it as a sign. He put the dishes back onto the table and moved closer to Yunho, a naughty shimmering visible in his eyes. “How about something else than a rest? It still involves a bed, though. And the two of us.”
A moan had escaped with his hot breath when his lips finally made contact with Yunho’s. He had always secretly imagined about this happening, about making love with the man he truly loved. Jaejoong had always wondered how much different that could be from having sex with a dominant and violent man.
It was very different.
When their lips had met, crushing into a sweet kiss filled with love, he had already known this was the beginning of something new. His hands had been moving to touch the defined chest of Yunho, to unbutton his clothes, to feel the man he loved. Everything seemed to disappear into one big mess of Yunho, love and even more Yunho.
He had been used to nights filled with pain and pleasure. He had been programmed to like sex no matter what but ever since he had started to get his own will - not just an illusion of it - did he realize how much he actually hated the extreme pain, the dominance of his masters. However, the pain hadn’t been the main reason why he hated having sex so much.
He hated having sex because it made him feel so used. He hated it because it made him realize the sole reason why he had been created in the first place: to be nothing else but an object for pleasure. When he had sex, it felt like someone was screaming to him that he was nothing else but an inanimate object.
This had been a completely new experience.
This night was like a piece of heaven made of stars, glory and love. It left Jaejoong shivering with weakness. It left him feeling so undeniably real that it just hurt thinking about the amount of love he felt for the man above him.
~
Jaejoong knew he wasn’t dreaming. He just knew it. But he found himself wishing he was.
“Wh-what is this all about, Yunho?” he asked, his eyes big and round. However, he knew he didn’t even need to ask anything; the proof was right before his eyes. His incredulous eyes darted through the room, a sickening disgust spreading through his body.
He had been used all along.
Again, he had been viewed as nothing but an object.
When would it stop... when would this insanity finally stop...
“Jaejoong, get out,” the icy voice of Yunho sounded as he continued thrusting into the woman beneath him. Jaejoong immediately noticed the hard eyes, the cold glare, those eyes which had never looked at him with this kind of loathe and despise... It hurt him even more to see how incredibly pretty the woman was. “Don’t give me that pathetic look. You really thought I'd fall for a robot? For something not human? Did you really think I'd sink that low? You were nothing but a challenge to me."
Jaejoong's unbelieving eyes just kept following the movements of Yunho, the thrusting into the pretty woman... His lenses registered the actions, only to replay and replay them in slow motion into his head. The moans seemed to fill Jaejoong's head.
Soon, bewilderment made place for anger.
"All those times..." he croaked, his eyes filled with a liquid humans called tears, "All those times... you were using me?"
He didn't even wait for an answer, didn't even bother to listen to the words that didn't have to be spoken. The proof was right before his eyes. Those were wordless stabs, stabs that didn't touch him and yet touched him in the core of his being.
Right, he was just an object after all.
Right, he didn't have the rights to be loved, he was just a thing after all.
How could a thing feel emotions anyway? Just do whatever you want with it...
Just use it cruelly...
Anger flared through him and his body started to move without him even realizing. His limbs that lost all its feeling, the numbness taking over his body to prevent him from feeling any pain was just making his rash actions easier. Jaejoong just let his anger take over.
"Stop," he whispered, his breath trembling. Before he realized what had been happening, his body had moved to the other corner of his room, his trembling hands clutching the gun he had found a few days ago. "I told you to stop!"
He knew he wouldn't miss if he'd shoot. His lenses were showing him everything; how the circumstances were, how he should aim to hit these low beings right into the head or heart. How he should aim to give them a slow and painful death.
Yunho slowly stopped his thrusting, his cock still buried in the woman beneath him. "Jaejoong, stop this nonsense right now," he slowly said, articulating clearly to put emphasize on each word.
Yunho slipped out of the woman, the woman who seemed too scared to do anything at all, before slowly making his way over to him.
Jaejoong watched the body of his beloved one coming closer, his hands raised to show that he had no bad intentions. It struck him how similar this was to their first meeting and yet, how different it was. Those broad shoulders, that smooth and tan skin, those long legs, that face... Jaejoong wanted to have it all.
And yet, there was a woman lying on that bed. That very same bed he had made love with someone for the very first time.
Desperate anger flared through him. He didn't want to share Yunho with anyone... How could this heartless bastard tell him he was just an object, after every sweet moment they had shared?
His trembling fingers pulled the trigger. Yunho's body collapsed on the ground. Blood. There was blood everywhere. Yunho's mouth was slightly opened, gasping for air, just like a fish on the dry.
The image of him killing his beloved one with a gun was so so terrifying that it shook Jaejoong awake.
There was no dieing body lying on the floor. No, when Jaejoong raised his eyes from the floor he had been staring intensely at, he looked right into the eye of a gun.
"Your owners were right, Jaejoong. You're defective after all. Your emotions are too strong, your want to be viewed as an equal too big... I can't continue living with you like this. I can't spend the rest of my life with a robot like you. Just... think about it," Yunho spoke as he placed a stern finger on the trigger.
And then, there was only pain.
Before Jaejoong knew it, he was lying on the ground, gasping for air. When he looked down to his body, he was able to see a small hole in his clothes. There was a lack of blood since he had never been created to bleed in the first place but the realisation that he could see the wires inside of him was enough to make him cringe.
Everything seemed to hurt, everything seemed to become one blur of physical and mental pain, overwhelming him. "Yun... Yun... Ho..." he managed to choke out, his system quickly failing him.
"I'll make the pain stop," Yunho spoke softly, hovering before his eyes, looking at him with the same gentle gaze in his eyes as he always had. When Jaejoong reaches a trembling hand out to clutch Yunho's arm, to beg him to listen to him, Yunho ignores it anyway.
When his finger gently pushes the hollow behind his ear lobe, the pain finally stops.
~
The next day, Yunho puts his garbage outside.
-------
A/N: Quickly written fic and the result of my procrastinating. I'm sorry for all the people who thought this was going to end happily lol. I didn't want to put the character death tag on because that'd kind of spoil it. Don't kill me XD
Pairing: Yunho x Jaejoong
Rating: R
Disclaimer: I'll just buy my own Jaejoong robot 8)
Genre: AU, angst, drama, romance, scifi, tragedy
Length: Oneshot
Warnings: Unbeta-ed, mentions of sex, cruelty.
Defect
"No! I refuse to!" Jaejoong screamed. He had always felt so used, always felt like nothing but an object for sex. Strictly spoken, he was nothing else than that but at the same time, he felt like so much more.
"No, this Junsu guy is weird. He has all these weird kinks which I simply refuse to do!" Jaejoong argued, his angry eyes fixated on the face of his boss. However, before he's able to answer, Jaejoong has already said, "You know what, I'm outta here."
It was the third time this week that he tried to escape and Jaejoong knew that he'd be dead if he'd get caught. However, that was a worry for later. His legs started to move, to speed up until he was finally running through the streets of Seoul.
There were people following him but the man couldn't care less about it. He knew his athletic body was faster than theirs. The only problem was staying out of their hands.
Jaejoong lost track of time as he kept running and running, a breeze blowing through his hair. He found himself wishing he could fly but he knew his creators didn't give him that kind of power. So he just continued running as if there was no tomorrow.
However, the men of his boss were everywhere in the city. When Jaejoong suddenly felt hands closing around his arm, he knew he had exactly fifteen seconds to break free.
He failed. He had never been made to be strong anyway.
The last thing Jaejoong remembered before closing his eyes was this feeling of being forced down to the ground, his face pushed into the mud, while incoherent screams were leaving his mouth. It all became dark before his eyes when a hand settled behind his right ear, pushing firmly into the hollow place behind his ear lobe.
~
“Oh, you’re finally awake. How do you feel?” there was a soft voice intruding the mechanics of his head and the man could feel the radars in his ears trying to catch the words that were said, a reflex his creators had put into him. Jaejoong’s first master had liked someone who would obey him no matter what he said, someone who could satisfy all his needs which referred to sexual needs but also doing house chores and, most importantly, he wanted someone who looked pretty and frail. Jaejoong had been the outcome.
He opened his eyes, his eyelids stiff because of the unfamiliarity of not having used them in a long time, his lenses focusing on the man before his eyes. There was still this haunted feeling of his last memory in his system, of being forced to do something he didn’t want to, and his eyes flash anxiously through the room. “Who are you? What do you want?” he has sprung onto his feet, his eyes still darting through the room to analyze the situation he has gotten himself into, but he can see no one else except for the friendly looking man in front of him.
The walls of the room were painted in broken white, the red and black furniture blending in nicely with the colours. It seemed as if he was in the living room of a house. There were several impressionistic paintings placed against the walls; Jaejoong immediately noticed that one of them was a real Monet. Of course, he shouldn’t be paying any attention to art when he could be in a seriously threatening situation. He fixated his eyes once again on the man in front of him.
“Calm down...” the man slowly got closer, his hands raised with the palms up to show that he had nothing but good intentions, “I’m Yunho. I want nothing from you, I just found you... and I wondered why someone would throw you out when you seemed to be perfectly fine.”
“So they did throw me out after all,” Jaejoong said bitterly, a look of disgust on his face, “Let’s just see how they’re going to survive without me. I was at least half of their income.”
“Could you explain me why you were thrown out then?” Yunho asked curiously. Jaejoong observed the man, an eyebrow raised slightly, as he finally realized that this man was the person who had saved him. If it hadn’t been for him, he would have rotten away in a garbage can.
“Isn’t it obvious? I’m defective. I’ve been declared broken beyond repair, that’s why they threw me away. Just... who exactly are you, Yunho-sshi? How could you bring me back to consciousness when my old owners probably did everything to destroy me; they shut me down and probably cut a few important wires. How...?” only now did Jaejoong realize how strange everything was. How could he just wake up in the house of a complete stranger? He clearly remembered the struggle before he had been shut down.
“I don’t think that’s really important, is it? Shouldn’t you be thankful to me?” a small smile appeared on Yunho’s face, “Anyway, you want some clothes? It’s kind of awkward to talk to someone who doesn’t have any clothes on, even if you’re a robot.”
Jaejoong relaxed his shoulders. His eyes had been darting through the room all this time, scanning it for any possible threats, but his brain quickly stopped after a few minutes. There was nothing. “Thank you,” he said, a small smile playing on his lips, “and yeah, that would be nice.”
~
Jaejoong found himself astounded by Yunho. The man was intelligent, so incredibly intelligent that Jaejoong couldn’t understand anything at all when Yunho would be practicing one of his presentations for him. Instead, the robot just found himself nodding his head and clapping in enthusiasm when Yunho finished.
Life was simple.
He would clean the apartment when Yunho was at work, watch some television programs he didn’t seem to understand when he was bored and he would start cooking at six o’clock so they could start eating at seven when Yunho came home. His life had become a lot more simple and less stressful.
“Tell me,” Yunho had said one day while they had been eating, “Tell me about your past. I barely know anything about you.”
“Why are you interested in the life of a robot? I don’t have a past, I was born in this body and I’ve always looked like this. I don’t have childhood pictures neither did I have a childhood. I was just created this way because my master wanted me to become like this,” Jaejoong said, avoiding the question. It was truthful enough. His whole life, he had been nothing else but a robot, someone who looked like a person but clearly wasn’t. Someone who didn’t have the same rights as other human beings.
“Then tell me about your first master. What kind of man was he?”
Jaejoong hesitated. He didn’t want to tell Yunho about his past, about his shameful past, and yet... the man seemed to understand him, seemed to be willing to take care of him no matter what. After all, he had been the person who had taken his body home, even after it had been dumped mercilessly.
“He was a brute man. No woman wanted him; he was dominant, violent and stubborn. I was one of the first robots created and as you probably know, back then, they only had the technology to manufacture men. My first master - Changmin was his name - had been so desperate back then that he had just bought me with his money... he wouldn’t miss it anyway, he was a rich man. He wanted someone who could take care of him, someone who he could use mercilessly and still wouldn’t complain about it. Yet, he didn’t like the idea of me being a man so instead, he told my creators to make me as beautiful and as feminine as possible. Just like that, I was created.
I used to take care of the man. Even when he would have one of his fits, I’d still put up with him. I was created that way. Even if he’d hit me, if he’d abuse me, if he’d humiliate me, I’d still put up with him. Even when he wanted to have sex, even though I knew I wouldn’t be able to walk the next day, I couldn’t refuse.
Because I was created that way.
A year later, technology found ways to create female robots as well. I was carelessly sold to another man while Changmin bought himself a new wife.”
There, it was out. He had told the story of his pathetic creation where they had intended to make him look and act like a woman as much as possible. He had told the story behind the reasons of his own feminine appearance and characteristics.
“That’s awful,” Yunho said, his eyes filled with horror, “Tell me... tell me more. Who did they sell you to?”
“You still want to hear more? Even when I’m warning you that it’ll only get worse?” Jaejoong laughed, “The life of a thing like me isn’t a bed of roses. It isn’t something that should be casually told when eating, I don’t think you’d still be able to get something in your throat.”
“I still want to hear,” Yunho insisted.
“Fine. My next master was a man called Yoochun. He had been a good friend of Changmin and saw me as nothing else but an used object he had just bought for his friend’s sake. He only saw me as an object, and of course, what else am I? He’d only look at me when he’d come back from work and felt needy. He’d force himself onto me though I don’t think it could be called force when something in my program refused to struggle.
When he got a boyfriend, he sold me.”
“What happened then?” Yunho’s eyes had become wide with curiosity. Jaejoong wondered if this pathetic story about his life was really that interesting but he continued anyway, just because he couldn’t reject Yunho, couldn’t reject the man who had shown him so much love and care.
“I got into prostitution. I was made for sex anyway, so what was the problem? Well, until I started to glitch recently and my boss decided to get rid of me.”
“Glitch? What’s wrong with you?” a slight frown appeared on Yunho’s face, “I haven’t noticed anything.”
“I started to rebel against my owners. I didn’t want to be seen as a tool anymore. I refused to sleep with clients but since I’m one of the most popular products out there and I only cost money if I’d continue this way, they decided to get rid of me. They had already tried to repair me but they’d been told that I was a really old model. They can produce robots better and more efficient than me right now.”
“So they decided to get rid of you,” Yunho concluded.
“Yeah,” Jaejoong shrugged, “Life’s hard.”
There was a silence.
“But at least I have you now.” Jaejoong had never thought his emotions could feel so real, so human-like, but a light blush of embarrassment appeared on his cheeks.
“At least you still have me,” Yunho nodded in agreement, a light smile playing on his lips.
~
"That's an interesting painting," Jaejoong said while pointing at the painting in Yunho's bedroom. It was another piece of impressionism, colours fading in and out of each other to create one big, ideal scenery.
"I love impressionism. It's my favourite kind of genre for paintings," Yunho smiled. "It's so easy to just look at it and lose yourself into a world of fantasy, a world where everything is just so much better and more beautiful.
Monet is my favourite painter. The piece in the living room has been into my family for a few years, ever since they decided in France that he wasn't art anymore. I don't really like the modernistic art movements, cubism and things like that really aren't my thing. My great-grandfather had worked hard to obtain that Monet."
"Really? Wow, that's awesome. Monet is a great painter, I can't believe they decided to get rid of him," Jaejoong said, still staring at the painting.
"I know, the world doesn't recognize real talent anymore. They should. I also can't believe they decided to get rid of you."
A light blush painted Jaejoong's cheeks.
"Mais je peux vivre avec ça, c'est la raison pour laquelle je t'ai trouvé. Maintenant, tu es à moi," words from an unknown language were escaping from Yunho's lips and he looked smug as he pulled Jaejoong closer to him.
"You're such a tease, you know I can't understand French," Jaejoong giggled.
"But I can live with it, it's the reason that I found you. You're mine now," Yunho breathed the translation, his hot breath brushing against Jaejoong's cheek. The blush became even worse.
Not that anyone cared. Yunho's lips crushed on his and everything seemed to disappear.
~
Jaejoong felt like he was soaring after that day. It had only be a kiss, one single kiss, but still... it was a kiss with Yunho. It was the first kiss with a person he loved.
His radars had gone totally wild, Jaejoong swore every part of him was working hard to prevent himself from falling apart in utter happiness. He felt like squealing like a little fangirl. God, this feminine side of him...
He wished he could have someone to talk to so he could tell him or her about his life. He wished he had a friend to call, to call and talk about the intense experience of Yunho's soft lips making contact with his, of his tongue slipping into his mouth, leaving the taste of Yunho behind.
How he wished.
Jaejoong found himself cleaning the house instead, burned on making Yunho return to a clean home filled with love. He wanted to give the man he loved a good life.
He cleaned the living room, cleaned the kitchen, cleaned every room he saw. His lenses would focus on the amount of dust lying in every room, analyzing the whole room before he started to clean every single thing his lenses noticed.
He washed Yunho's clothes and ironed them, a happy smile playing on his lips when he put the suits back into his closet. Jaejoong felt like a wife doing things for her husband and it made him happy to know he made life easier for the man who took care of him, the man who could make him feel butterflies.
Jaejoong rearranged everything in the closet, sorting it on colour, brand and type of clothing. However, he was surprised to feel something beneath a stack of clothes. When he lifts the clothing, he gasps. There was a gun lying right there.
~
Jaejoong had asked Yunho carefully about the gun. Yunho had only said that everyone had one now, that it was nothing special. That he was impressed and touched by Jaejoong cleaning the house.
The robot had only nodded. That's right, my old owners all had a gun too. It was for self defence.
The feeling of discomfort soon disappeared as Yunho kept complimenting his hard work. Jaejoong smiles when he sees the man thoroughly enjoying the food he had cooked.
~
When Jaejoong had lived together with Yunho for two months, he had started to fully trust the man. He had never known anyone as gentle and caring as this man, someone who expected nothing in return for all the things he did. Exactly for this reason, for this selflessness, did Jaejoong feel even more pressured than normal to give this man something in return.
He had everything planned out. Dinner had been great and the mood had been set with a good glass of wine. When Jaejoong got up to move the dishes, his hand got stopped by Yunho’s. “I’ll do the dishes,” he said, his eyes soft, “You’ve worked hard today, it was absolutely amazing. You should take a rest instead.”
Jaejoong thought of it as a sign. He put the dishes back onto the table and moved closer to Yunho, a naughty shimmering visible in his eyes. “How about something else than a rest? It still involves a bed, though. And the two of us.”
A moan had escaped with his hot breath when his lips finally made contact with Yunho’s. He had always secretly imagined about this happening, about making love with the man he truly loved. Jaejoong had always wondered how much different that could be from having sex with a dominant and violent man.
It was very different.
When their lips had met, crushing into a sweet kiss filled with love, he had already known this was the beginning of something new. His hands had been moving to touch the defined chest of Yunho, to unbutton his clothes, to feel the man he loved. Everything seemed to disappear into one big mess of Yunho, love and even more Yunho.
He had been used to nights filled with pain and pleasure. He had been programmed to like sex no matter what but ever since he had started to get his own will - not just an illusion of it - did he realize how much he actually hated the extreme pain, the dominance of his masters. However, the pain hadn’t been the main reason why he hated having sex so much.
He hated having sex because it made him feel so used. He hated it because it made him realize the sole reason why he had been created in the first place: to be nothing else but an object for pleasure. When he had sex, it felt like someone was screaming to him that he was nothing else but an inanimate object.
This had been a completely new experience.
This night was like a piece of heaven made of stars, glory and love. It left Jaejoong shivering with weakness. It left him feeling so undeniably real that it just hurt thinking about the amount of love he felt for the man above him.
~
Jaejoong knew he wasn’t dreaming. He just knew it. But he found himself wishing he was.
“Wh-what is this all about, Yunho?” he asked, his eyes big and round. However, he knew he didn’t even need to ask anything; the proof was right before his eyes. His incredulous eyes darted through the room, a sickening disgust spreading through his body.
He had been used all along.
Again, he had been viewed as nothing but an object.
When would it stop... when would this insanity finally stop...
“Jaejoong, get out,” the icy voice of Yunho sounded as he continued thrusting into the woman beneath him. Jaejoong immediately noticed the hard eyes, the cold glare, those eyes which had never looked at him with this kind of loathe and despise... It hurt him even more to see how incredibly pretty the woman was. “Don’t give me that pathetic look. You really thought I'd fall for a robot? For something not human? Did you really think I'd sink that low? You were nothing but a challenge to me."
Jaejoong's unbelieving eyes just kept following the movements of Yunho, the thrusting into the pretty woman... His lenses registered the actions, only to replay and replay them in slow motion into his head. The moans seemed to fill Jaejoong's head.
Soon, bewilderment made place for anger.
"All those times..." he croaked, his eyes filled with a liquid humans called tears, "All those times... you were using me?"
He didn't even wait for an answer, didn't even bother to listen to the words that didn't have to be spoken. The proof was right before his eyes. Those were wordless stabs, stabs that didn't touch him and yet touched him in the core of his being.
Right, he was just an object after all.
Right, he didn't have the rights to be loved, he was just a thing after all.
How could a thing feel emotions anyway? Just do whatever you want with it...
Just use it cruelly...
Anger flared through him and his body started to move without him even realizing. His limbs that lost all its feeling, the numbness taking over his body to prevent him from feeling any pain was just making his rash actions easier. Jaejoong just let his anger take over.
"Stop," he whispered, his breath trembling. Before he realized what had been happening, his body had moved to the other corner of his room, his trembling hands clutching the gun he had found a few days ago. "I told you to stop!"
He knew he wouldn't miss if he'd shoot. His lenses were showing him everything; how the circumstances were, how he should aim to hit these low beings right into the head or heart. How he should aim to give them a slow and painful death.
Yunho slowly stopped his thrusting, his cock still buried in the woman beneath him. "Jaejoong, stop this nonsense right now," he slowly said, articulating clearly to put emphasize on each word.
Yunho slipped out of the woman, the woman who seemed too scared to do anything at all, before slowly making his way over to him.
Jaejoong watched the body of his beloved one coming closer, his hands raised to show that he had no bad intentions. It struck him how similar this was to their first meeting and yet, how different it was. Those broad shoulders, that smooth and tan skin, those long legs, that face... Jaejoong wanted to have it all.
And yet, there was a woman lying on that bed. That very same bed he had made love with someone for the very first time.
Desperate anger flared through him. He didn't want to share Yunho with anyone... How could this heartless bastard tell him he was just an object, after every sweet moment they had shared?
His trembling fingers pulled the trigger. Yunho's body collapsed on the ground. Blood. There was blood everywhere. Yunho's mouth was slightly opened, gasping for air, just like a fish on the dry.
The image of him killing his beloved one with a gun was so so terrifying that it shook Jaejoong awake.
There was no dieing body lying on the floor. No, when Jaejoong raised his eyes from the floor he had been staring intensely at, he looked right into the eye of a gun.
"Your owners were right, Jaejoong. You're defective after all. Your emotions are too strong, your want to be viewed as an equal too big... I can't continue living with you like this. I can't spend the rest of my life with a robot like you. Just... think about it," Yunho spoke as he placed a stern finger on the trigger.
And then, there was only pain.
Before Jaejoong knew it, he was lying on the ground, gasping for air. When he looked down to his body, he was able to see a small hole in his clothes. There was a lack of blood since he had never been created to bleed in the first place but the realisation that he could see the wires inside of him was enough to make him cringe.
Everything seemed to hurt, everything seemed to become one blur of physical and mental pain, overwhelming him. "Yun... Yun... Ho..." he managed to choke out, his system quickly failing him.
"I'll make the pain stop," Yunho spoke softly, hovering before his eyes, looking at him with the same gentle gaze in his eyes as he always had. When Jaejoong reaches a trembling hand out to clutch Yunho's arm, to beg him to listen to him, Yunho ignores it anyway.
When his finger gently pushes the hollow behind his ear lobe, the pain finally stops.
~
The next day, Yunho puts his garbage outside.
-------
A/N: Quickly written fic and the result of my procrastinating. I'm sorry for all the people who thought this was going to end happily lol. I didn't want to put the character death tag on because that'd kind of spoil it. Don't kill me XD