Guilt
Title: Guilt
Pairing: Yunho x Jaejoong, OT5
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: The day they will become mine will be the day the world comes to an end. This will be in four billion years when the sun has used all its energy. Till then, I'll be waiting. ;D
Genre: Angst, drama, romance
Length: Oneshot
Warnings: Unbeta-ed, lawsuit
It was all your fault...
The break up, the pained smiles on the faces of your beloved ones, everything...
A strange sound escapes from your mouth, strangled, choked, pained, disgusted, your voice unrecognisable. Your hand clutches tightly onto the fabric of your shirt, your nails digging through the fabric right in your skin. Your face contorts in pain but it's not enough to distract you from the mess in your head.
You look at yourself.
The mirror you're staring at shows the picture of a man, a desperate man threatening to fall apart at any moment. You hope to see the answer to your problem spelled out in big letters on the mirror but all you see is despair.
Your big brown eyes filled with pain stare desperately into the mirror, only to be met with the same big brown eyes. Your skin is unhealthily pale, your lips dry and cracked, your face gaunt and there are dark circles underneath your eyes.
There's nothing left of the man who had once been lucky enough to be loved by four other men.
Nothing but a transparent image.
Tears start rolling down your cheek and you hiss in frustration as you watch the pathetic being in the mirror sob. Your hand is clutching the sink desperately, your knuckles white, and you try to refrain yourself from giving in into your emotions.
However, you are not strong enough.
You have never been.
A strangled cry escapes from the inside of your throat as you lash out, your fist connecting with the mirror.
You stare at the broken reflection in the mirror and you finally realize that this is exactly the person who you are.
Broken and scattered.
A shadow of the man who you used to be.
You don't even feel the pain in your fist.
All you do is stare at your fist, looking at the tiny shimmers of glass rooted deep inside your flesh, and you find yourself wishing to feel the arms of the man you love around you. You find yourself wishing to feel his lips brush against your ear, his sweet breath intoxicating you, your heart beating steadily next to his.
All you can do is wish.
You wish you weren't this pathetic Kim Jaejoong.
You wish you weren't Kim Jaejoong because you had sworn to never let anyone hurt Park Yoochun, Kim Junsu, Shim Changmin and Jung Yunho.
You wish you weren't Kim Jaejoong because you were the very person who had inflicted the biggest pain of all on them. You wish you weren't you because you had been the one who had started the lawsuit, because you were the one who had caused the five of you to break up.
You wish you could just be someone. A person who would live life. A person who would die and end up fading away into the darkness. A person who would end up being forgotten.
Because nothing about you is worth remembering.
Pairing: Yunho x Jaejoong, OT5
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: The day they will become mine will be the day the world comes to an end. This will be in four billion years when the sun has used all its energy. Till then, I'll be waiting. ;D
Genre: Angst, drama, romance
Length: Oneshot
Warnings: Unbeta-ed, lawsuit
It was all your fault...
The break up, the pained smiles on the faces of your beloved ones, everything...
A strange sound escapes from your mouth, strangled, choked, pained, disgusted, your voice unrecognisable. Your hand clutches tightly onto the fabric of your shirt, your nails digging through the fabric right in your skin. Your face contorts in pain but it's not enough to distract you from the mess in your head.
You look at yourself.
The mirror you're staring at shows the picture of a man, a desperate man threatening to fall apart at any moment. You hope to see the answer to your problem spelled out in big letters on the mirror but all you see is despair.
Your big brown eyes filled with pain stare desperately into the mirror, only to be met with the same big brown eyes. Your skin is unhealthily pale, your lips dry and cracked, your face gaunt and there are dark circles underneath your eyes.
There's nothing left of the man who had once been lucky enough to be loved by four other men.
Nothing but a transparent image.
Tears start rolling down your cheek and you hiss in frustration as you watch the pathetic being in the mirror sob. Your hand is clutching the sink desperately, your knuckles white, and you try to refrain yourself from giving in into your emotions.
However, you are not strong enough.
You have never been.
A strangled cry escapes from the inside of your throat as you lash out, your fist connecting with the mirror.
You stare at the broken reflection in the mirror and you finally realize that this is exactly the person who you are.
Broken and scattered.
A shadow of the man who you used to be.
You don't even feel the pain in your fist.
All you do is stare at your fist, looking at the tiny shimmers of glass rooted deep inside your flesh, and you find yourself wishing to feel the arms of the man you love around you. You find yourself wishing to feel his lips brush against your ear, his sweet breath intoxicating you, your heart beating steadily next to his.
All you can do is wish.
You wish you weren't this pathetic Kim Jaejoong.
You wish you weren't Kim Jaejoong because you had sworn to never let anyone hurt Park Yoochun, Kim Junsu, Shim Changmin and Jung Yunho.
You wish you weren't Kim Jaejoong because you were the very person who had inflicted the biggest pain of all on them. You wish you weren't you because you had been the one who had started the lawsuit, because you were the one who had caused the five of you to break up.
You wish you could just be someone. A person who would live life. A person who would die and end up fading away into the darkness. A person who would end up being forgotten.
Because nothing about you is worth remembering.