I don't even...

[sweetly_savage]

I guess in some things I am naive. I mean, I'm not in the normal course of life. But, every once in a while something happens that seems to strike me out of the blue. And then I get upset and sad and hurt, when really I have things so much better and easier than so many people. So I feel guilty about being all emo, but then I still feel sad, so it

Comments

[oldfashionedgrl]

Hey Hon. Sorry things have been so crapy lately. We really need to make a time to catch up SOON!

Not being there, I certainly can't speak to the vibe you picked up from this person or how the conversation felt, but I can say that I have had similar conversations with people I know at various stages of our friendship/or coworkness (as in friendly at work for a year then you don't see them if you're not working with them kind of way.) All the times I've been a part of these types of conversations (usually in a group) they have been people asking honest, curious questions trying to understand the other peoples' experiences.

Is it possible that's what it might have been and you're reading more into it?

I'm not saying at all that you are, as I said I wasn't there and can't say how your conversation felt.

[sweetly_savage]

We do need to catch up!

I know that her intent was not malicious. She was really coming more from a place of arrogance. But, it still made me feel uncomfortable. She's in a supervisory position. But, as I said to her, it would never occur to me to ask her how it feels to be Hispanic. She apologized and took the whole thing well. Although as it turns out, I made her cry when this all came up. Truly a gift, I am.

[lifeasanamazon]

Your worries are always your worries, regardless how wonderful life is in so many respects. I don't blame you for feeling agitated, either, baby - I would feel the same!

If she's ignorant, maybe she just needs to be enlightened? Maybe she's asking because she is confused herself? Either way, she needs to know that she's making you uncomfortable.

[sweetly_savage]

Thank you darlin'. You always have the right thing to say to make me feel better. It's been discussed and a truce has been struck. She offered me half a sandwich today.

I think what really shook me was that it was the first time I had ever felt that way, different from others. And that was what set things off.

[goinglike_elsie]

I'm sorry about you & the GF. How is her son doing now?

I know it's awful when we feel marginalized and Other-ed, but on some level maybe it's a good thing that she has you to ask questions of, and then she knows that being gay isn't so radical, and she can pass that positive view onto other people she talks to. You can be a great ambassador. (still sucks, though.)
xx

[sweetly_savage]

Of course you would make me an ambassador. Detente has come, so I think things will smooth out. I guess it really was the first time I had ever felt Other-ed, which was the hard pill to swallow.

The GF and I are doing really well. We are still best friends. And she's quite understanding when I get kind of wallowy in the "I still love her" blues. That doesn't happen as often anymore though.

The boy is driving me crazy. He is too damn smart. And he can justify anything. And when he gets something in his teeth, he just won't let it go. In other words, in some karmic bizarre way, he totally takes after me. But he tells me everything. And I do mean, everything. And that makes me feel really good. 'Cause I'm never gonna have children of my own, but I'm always gonna have him coming to me with things.

Sorry, got rambly there.