Special Education
Just have to say this...
Every single one of Kurt's scenes this season has been stunning, emotional and so intense he single-handedly transcended the show to levels it could never even dream of before. The other characters have remained more or less the same (some grow but they're also prone to being pushed into "reset" mode very easily) and even in season one none of them ever showed the kind of depth and multifaceted conflict and personality that Kurt had. Now Kurt has become by far the single most unique character on this show whose scenes have been heart-breaking, emotional, painful, joyous, dream-like, surreal, intense and raw. I like to see his ever-evolving arc as a sequence of scenes beginning around "Grilled Cheesus" and building up slowly and agonizingly to a climax in "Furt", one of the undoubtedly many climaxes that are still to come.
I was probably looking forward too much to this episode and that's why it packed such a punch. Falchuk had a lot of options to show Kurt's first days over at Dalton and he chose one that I can intellectually understand and respect but that emotionally upset me greatly. With the writers' goals in mind I can see they did a great job of depicting what they wanted, but heck, did it hurt. Of course Dalton wasn't going to be an utopia. Of course there was going to be some awkwardness.
But the climax in "Furt" made me so excited for Kurt and I longed to see him happy for once. Even if he'd have to break down in the next episode because of it. But the way they showed Kurt's slow and painful descent into a stifling mold that he did not fit in at all was agonizing. Well, the descent didn't really happen, but it has been set in motion. The bird metaphor, while a tad obvious, was a good one but it hurt me even more to hear Blaine talk about it so...emotionless. Not resigned, not that sympathetic to Kurt, but talking like it was the most normal thing in the world to be put into a cage and shed feathers to adapt to your captivity. It was a stark contrast to the amazing scenes Kurt and Blaine have had in NBK and "The Substitute" (that diner scene = precious). Blaine may have a long-forgotten hidden desire for individuality rather than the dull conformity he's settled for and maybe Kurt will be the one doing the mentoring to bring out that part of Blaine. But this episode showed that achieving something like that won't happen quickly, even when Kurt and Blaine were an amazing match (friendship-wise and couple-wise) from the moment they met.
More importantly, Kurt's now being pushed into a prefab model that is as flat as it is suffocating. Sure, the awkwardness and the emotional chaos that he experienced by transferring to a different school was depicted very aptly, but the slow realization (and maybe Kurt's not fully realizing it yet, I have a feeling he might be trying to suppress the idea) that he was going to have to shut down or at least hide a lot of aspects of his personality each and every day was incredibly hard to stomach. The fact that we only saw him in that Dalton uniform added to that feeling, and there was something about Kurt this whole episode that wasn't...Kurt. When you looked into his eyes, even when he was smiling, it was as if he wasn't really there and sometimes he looked just plain dead inside. The confrontation with ND at Sectionals was so emotional and again showed the stark contrast between what kind of world he lives in now and what kind of world he's used to. I loved him standing up and clapping for them and that was really the only moment his eyes were fully smiling as well.
The Warblers' performance was kind of awkward to say the least. I loved Blaine looking at Kurt while he sang but poor Kurt, he looked so incredibly unhappy and hesitant - if it wasn't for Blaine, he probably wouldn't even want to participate in such a stiff bureaucratic club. Kurt's an awesome dancer and it was weird to see him struggle a bit with those silly sideways steps/sways they were doing - well, struggling isn't the right word, it was more like Kurt was apprehensive and just generally shut down, something we've never seen him like before, not even during the worst days with the whole Karofsky situation.
I don't want to see Dalton make Kurt die inside, even if it's just a little. Remember "Wheels"? Where Kurt screwed up his note during Defying Gravity intentionally, so he could spare his dad the pain of possibly being harassed more because of his son singing a female song before thousands of people? "I've known who I was since I was five and I adapted. Being different made me stronger, and at the end of the day, it's what's gonna get me out of this cowtown. But you never had to do that," Kurt told his dad. "When I saw you, right after you got the call, and you were so hurt and so upset, it just killed me. I'm not saying I'm gonna hide in the closet. I'm proud of who I am. I'm just saying that I love you more than I love being a star." Burt answered with: "You are your mother. She was always the strong one."
Don't hide in the closet, Kurt. I'm not talking about the gay closet, I'm talking about the personality/individuality one, the things that make you you. Try to not be the strong one for once, forcing yourself to fit into a "perfect image" the staff at Dalton want you to aspire to. Blaine obviously wants to help him, but he doesn't realize he can't be happy this way. He should know Kurt a little bit by now, right? They had an amazing kind of relationship pre-transfer. I'm afraid Blaine's insistence on blending in and adapting is making "the strong one" in Kurt rear its head and will try to make him resign to a life that cancels out everything he stands for. I do think Blaine has the best of intentions, and I like their relationship still, but man, Kurt has been pressured into molds he doesn't fit in (intentionally or not) for his entire life and now that, after all the fear he experienced with Karofsky, there was a glimmer of hope and relief, he's still being pressured just as much but in a different way. Good-willed or not.
Kurt was obviously having a really hard time, trying to follow Blaine's advice as much as possible, but still not wholly accepting it. If we're going this way I'd rather Kurt not resign (and I have a feeling he won't), ever. Kurt is looking for comfort right now (plus he's emotionally all over the place) and he might find solace in blending into a group with strict rules for a while but he will never give up his identity. I don't want it to cause tensions in his friendship with Blaine, though, since that guy is the best thing that happened to Kurt in a long time. As I speculated before, I'd love to see a role-reversal of Kurt helping Blaine explore his own individuality. I liked the fatherly/mentor role Blaine took on in NBK and "The Substitute" and I don't want him to give up that role because Kurt needs it, needs the support, the warmth and the reassurance. But this episode made me feel bitter about the whole "well, just tone it down, shut up and you'll become used to being invisible" theme.
In hindsight the intent behind choosing this path for Kurt sounds really interesting and powerful. It feels intellectually acceptable but it breaks my heart. I don't want utopia for Kurt because it doesn't exist. But Kurt has been one bright, shining star facing a storm of challenges. If sexual intimidation and fear for his life didn't kill his spirit, I hope Dalton won't, either. I'm sure it won't happen but this episode hurt.
Will was right: New Directions is missing something vital, and it's Kurt's energy, spirit and presence. One thing this episode made me realize as well is that I am much less interested in what ND does when he's not there. Sure, I like a lot of these characters, but... I thought moving Kurt to Dalton and giving him screentime apart from ND would not turn out to be so awkward. I looked forward to see Kurt's Dalton experience paralleled by with what happens over at McKinley and the two occasionally intertwining. But now I just feel that Kurt's emotional isolation has physically manifested itself in the juxtaposition of Kurt having been brutally cut off of his former life, friends and glee club and having to see them go on at Sectionals without him was a sort of climax they built up to to depict Kurt's ambivalence: happiness to see his friends (though I would've like some more interactions between them and Kurt, why didn't we have a cozy and happy reunion? To add to the overall somber atmosphere surrounding Kurt's position?), sorrow about realizing that he really isn't a part of them anymore, and worry that Dalton Academy isn't something he can manage. He's drifting in between so many emotions and observations he's understandably even more confused than he was at McKinley. Part of that is because change is naturally difficult, part of that is because he was ripped from a place/club that felt like a true home to him and another part is that he is being caged before he is allowed to sing again.
Ironically, I was just listening to 4 minutes and I felt incredibly sad that anyone would repress the force of nature that is Kurt Hummel. Listening to previous ND songs in general feels uncomfortable right now.
Gosh, Kurt, just transfer back to McKinley already. With Blaine, who is obviously smitten with you. Get Karofsky thrown in jail or transfer or whatever, just RUN WHILE YOU STILL CAN.
Lol, Kurt's obviously going to transfer back but I really can't wait for that to happen. I didn't think the road leading up to it would be so agonizing. A lot of ground was covered over the past few episodes with the raw and real problems Kurt had and still has to deal with. It's great to know that Falchuk, Murphy etc. are still busy crafting his story with viscerally complex challenges and sensitivity towards subjects such as alienation, loss of identity, compromise and individuality vs. community/conformity, though.
But man, I want to hug Kurt so badly. BAWWWWWWW *wibbles* But I always want to hug Kurt badly so that's not news, really.
EDIT: Well, after thinking some more about it, I still feel that the duality/juxtaposition route they went with in this episode (for everyone but I'm only talking about Kurt because that's where my heart is xD) is dramatically brilliant and brave. The way it was handled was drawn in enough shades of gray and with suitable and sufficient subtlety to make the message hit even harder and set up an arc for Kurt that is going to be a tough and austere process. Again, dramatically a bold and amazing move. But my heart wept for Kurt, wept. Every single button that could possibly be touched to make Kurt's difficult position even more painful and my love for Kurt made me find it very hard to watch (while at the same time kept me being fascinated by it). I love this show for Kurt's storylines mostly, and they honored Kurt's predicament with enough finespun ambivalence.
Knowing that next episode is going to be a Christmas one I feel like that one is going to be even harder than this one. Poor, poor Kurt. I'm infinitely grateful he has Blaine, at least. But I need to repeat: my protectiveness/love of Kurt didn't help make this new path easy for me to think about at all.
Every single one of Kurt's scenes this season has been stunning, emotional and so intense he single-handedly transcended the show to levels it could never even dream of before. The other characters have remained more or less the same (some grow but they're also prone to being pushed into "reset" mode very easily) and even in season one none of them ever showed the kind of depth and multifaceted conflict and personality that Kurt had. Now Kurt has become by far the single most unique character on this show whose scenes have been heart-breaking, emotional, painful, joyous, dream-like, surreal, intense and raw. I like to see his ever-evolving arc as a sequence of scenes beginning around "Grilled Cheesus" and building up slowly and agonizingly to a climax in "Furt", one of the undoubtedly many climaxes that are still to come.
I was probably looking forward too much to this episode and that's why it packed such a punch. Falchuk had a lot of options to show Kurt's first days over at Dalton and he chose one that I can intellectually understand and respect but that emotionally upset me greatly. With the writers' goals in mind I can see they did a great job of depicting what they wanted, but heck, did it hurt. Of course Dalton wasn't going to be an utopia. Of course there was going to be some awkwardness.
But the climax in "Furt" made me so excited for Kurt and I longed to see him happy for once. Even if he'd have to break down in the next episode because of it. But the way they showed Kurt's slow and painful descent into a stifling mold that he did not fit in at all was agonizing. Well, the descent didn't really happen, but it has been set in motion. The bird metaphor, while a tad obvious, was a good one but it hurt me even more to hear Blaine talk about it so...emotionless. Not resigned, not that sympathetic to Kurt, but talking like it was the most normal thing in the world to be put into a cage and shed feathers to adapt to your captivity. It was a stark contrast to the amazing scenes Kurt and Blaine have had in NBK and "The Substitute" (that diner scene = precious). Blaine may have a long-forgotten hidden desire for individuality rather than the dull conformity he's settled for and maybe Kurt will be the one doing the mentoring to bring out that part of Blaine. But this episode showed that achieving something like that won't happen quickly, even when Kurt and Blaine were an amazing match (friendship-wise and couple-wise) from the moment they met.
More importantly, Kurt's now being pushed into a prefab model that is as flat as it is suffocating. Sure, the awkwardness and the emotional chaos that he experienced by transferring to a different school was depicted very aptly, but the slow realization (and maybe Kurt's not fully realizing it yet, I have a feeling he might be trying to suppress the idea) that he was going to have to shut down or at least hide a lot of aspects of his personality each and every day was incredibly hard to stomach. The fact that we only saw him in that Dalton uniform added to that feeling, and there was something about Kurt this whole episode that wasn't...Kurt. When you looked into his eyes, even when he was smiling, it was as if he wasn't really there and sometimes he looked just plain dead inside. The confrontation with ND at Sectionals was so emotional and again showed the stark contrast between what kind of world he lives in now and what kind of world he's used to. I loved him standing up and clapping for them and that was really the only moment his eyes were fully smiling as well.
The Warblers' performance was kind of awkward to say the least. I loved Blaine looking at Kurt while he sang but poor Kurt, he looked so incredibly unhappy and hesitant - if it wasn't for Blaine, he probably wouldn't even want to participate in such a stiff bureaucratic club. Kurt's an awesome dancer and it was weird to see him struggle a bit with those silly sideways steps/sways they were doing - well, struggling isn't the right word, it was more like Kurt was apprehensive and just generally shut down, something we've never seen him like before, not even during the worst days with the whole Karofsky situation.
I don't want to see Dalton make Kurt die inside, even if it's just a little. Remember "Wheels"? Where Kurt screwed up his note during Defying Gravity intentionally, so he could spare his dad the pain of possibly being harassed more because of his son singing a female song before thousands of people? "I've known who I was since I was five and I adapted. Being different made me stronger, and at the end of the day, it's what's gonna get me out of this cowtown. But you never had to do that," Kurt told his dad. "When I saw you, right after you got the call, and you were so hurt and so upset, it just killed me. I'm not saying I'm gonna hide in the closet. I'm proud of who I am. I'm just saying that I love you more than I love being a star." Burt answered with: "You are your mother. She was always the strong one."
Don't hide in the closet, Kurt. I'm not talking about the gay closet, I'm talking about the personality/individuality one, the things that make you you. Try to not be the strong one for once, forcing yourself to fit into a "perfect image" the staff at Dalton want you to aspire to. Blaine obviously wants to help him, but he doesn't realize he can't be happy this way. He should know Kurt a little bit by now, right? They had an amazing kind of relationship pre-transfer. I'm afraid Blaine's insistence on blending in and adapting is making "the strong one" in Kurt rear its head and will try to make him resign to a life that cancels out everything he stands for. I do think Blaine has the best of intentions, and I like their relationship still, but man, Kurt has been pressured into molds he doesn't fit in (intentionally or not) for his entire life and now that, after all the fear he experienced with Karofsky, there was a glimmer of hope and relief, he's still being pressured just as much but in a different way. Good-willed or not.
Kurt was obviously having a really hard time, trying to follow Blaine's advice as much as possible, but still not wholly accepting it. If we're going this way I'd rather Kurt not resign (and I have a feeling he won't), ever. Kurt is looking for comfort right now (plus he's emotionally all over the place) and he might find solace in blending into a group with strict rules for a while but he will never give up his identity. I don't want it to cause tensions in his friendship with Blaine, though, since that guy is the best thing that happened to Kurt in a long time. As I speculated before, I'd love to see a role-reversal of Kurt helping Blaine explore his own individuality. I liked the fatherly/mentor role Blaine took on in NBK and "The Substitute" and I don't want him to give up that role because Kurt needs it, needs the support, the warmth and the reassurance. But this episode made me feel bitter about the whole "well, just tone it down, shut up and you'll become used to being invisible" theme.
In hindsight the intent behind choosing this path for Kurt sounds really interesting and powerful. It feels intellectually acceptable but it breaks my heart. I don't want utopia for Kurt because it doesn't exist. But Kurt has been one bright, shining star facing a storm of challenges. If sexual intimidation and fear for his life didn't kill his spirit, I hope Dalton won't, either. I'm sure it won't happen but this episode hurt.
Will was right: New Directions is missing something vital, and it's Kurt's energy, spirit and presence. One thing this episode made me realize as well is that I am much less interested in what ND does when he's not there. Sure, I like a lot of these characters, but... I thought moving Kurt to Dalton and giving him screentime apart from ND would not turn out to be so awkward. I looked forward to see Kurt's Dalton experience paralleled by with what happens over at McKinley and the two occasionally intertwining. But now I just feel that Kurt's emotional isolation has physically manifested itself in the juxtaposition of Kurt having been brutally cut off of his former life, friends and glee club and having to see them go on at Sectionals without him was a sort of climax they built up to to depict Kurt's ambivalence: happiness to see his friends (though I would've like some more interactions between them and Kurt, why didn't we have a cozy and happy reunion? To add to the overall somber atmosphere surrounding Kurt's position?), sorrow about realizing that he really isn't a part of them anymore, and worry that Dalton Academy isn't something he can manage. He's drifting in between so many emotions and observations he's understandably even more confused than he was at McKinley. Part of that is because change is naturally difficult, part of that is because he was ripped from a place/club that felt like a true home to him and another part is that he is being caged before he is allowed to sing again.
Ironically, I was just listening to 4 minutes and I felt incredibly sad that anyone would repress the force of nature that is Kurt Hummel. Listening to previous ND songs in general feels uncomfortable right now.
Gosh, Kurt, just transfer back to McKinley already. With Blaine, who is obviously smitten with you. Get Karofsky thrown in jail or transfer or whatever, just RUN WHILE YOU STILL CAN.
Lol, Kurt's obviously going to transfer back but I really can't wait for that to happen. I didn't think the road leading up to it would be so agonizing. A lot of ground was covered over the past few episodes with the raw and real problems Kurt had and still has to deal with. It's great to know that Falchuk, Murphy etc. are still busy crafting his story with viscerally complex challenges and sensitivity towards subjects such as alienation, loss of identity, compromise and individuality vs. community/conformity, though.
But man, I want to hug Kurt so badly. BAWWWWWWW *wibbles* But I always want to hug Kurt badly so that's not news, really.
EDIT: Well, after thinking some more about it, I still feel that the duality/juxtaposition route they went with in this episode (for everyone but I'm only talking about Kurt because that's where my heart is xD) is dramatically brilliant and brave. The way it was handled was drawn in enough shades of gray and with suitable and sufficient subtlety to make the message hit even harder and set up an arc for Kurt that is going to be a tough and austere process. Again, dramatically a bold and amazing move. But my heart wept for Kurt, wept. Every single button that could possibly be touched to make Kurt's difficult position even more painful and my love for Kurt made me find it very hard to watch (while at the same time kept me being fascinated by it). I love this show for Kurt's storylines mostly, and they honored Kurt's predicament with enough finespun ambivalence.
Knowing that next episode is going to be a Christmas one I feel like that one is going to be even harder than this one. Poor, poor Kurt. I'm infinitely grateful he has Blaine, at least. But I need to repeat: my protectiveness/love of Kurt didn't help make this new path easy for me to think about at all.