well i dont have cancer! but i do need to make a follow up app tho. im so happy. so me and beau ahve been getting along great. i love him so much.  things seem to be going great. we went to look at that apartment and we loved it. i cant wait to move in. hopefully we get the apt that we want and looked at.  i think were gonna do just fine though. ( Read more... )

my husband is at work once again. im so lonely. i hate our schedules. i asked him to call in tonight so he can spend time with me and sleep with me but he wouldnt. which i understand why. he wants to be the best employee and wants to do it for us, but i needed him tonight. i feel so empty. i have this wonderful life but yet i cant live it because i ( Read more... )

i feel like a horrible wife and a piece of shit. i havent worked out in a while. tomorrow im gonna run. but after this friday ill 2 weeks straight off. ill have time to run and catch up on things and spend time with my husband. i love him so much. i know we will be together forever. im so scared i have cancer or the cancerous cells. if they are ( Read more... )

so i had my appointments today. they did a biopsy and took lil parts of my cervix. when they look at my cervix thru the scope they said there was an abnormal area that needed to be screen and tested to make sure its not cancer. im really scared but im glad beau went with me. it kinda depresses me. while i was there i got a pregnancy test and it ( Read more... )

SO I MIGHT BE PREGNANT. YESTERDAY I WAS THROWING UP, FEELING FAINT, BODY ACHES, DIZZY, BLACKING OUT AND ALL THAT STUFF. TODAY SAME THING. THERE ARE TWO REASONS WHY THIS COULD HAPPEN..EITHER IM PREGNANT, OR REALLY LOW ON IRON. I KNEW I WAS LOW ON IRON BUT IVE BEEN TAKING THE ONE A DAYS VERYDAY AND I THOUGHT THATD B ENOUGH, BUT I WAS TOLD I HAD TO ( Read more... )

I FUCKING HATE WORKING DAY SHIFT AND MY HUSBAND WORKING NIGHT TIME SHIFT. I GET HOME AT 730 OR 8 AND HE LEAVES FOR WORK AT 930. IT DEPRESSES THE FUCK OUT OF ME. I FUCKING HATE IT. I HATE WORK, AND SOMETIMES I WISH I WAS NEVER IN THE ARMY. IT TAKES A TOLL ON YOU MENTALLY AND PHYSICALLY. I FEEL COMPLETELY MIND FUCKED. I FEEL LIKE IM A FAILURE AS A ( Read more... )

Right now im on break and the day couldnt be going any slower. sfc wallace is leaving today which makes me sad. he is one of the best supervisors i know. i will miss him.  his replacement is a dickhead. he has no trust in soldiers. i already got yelled at for something i didnt even do! oh well thats life though  i guess. its gonna happen eventually ( Read more... )

so we went to look at that apartment and we loved it, but its so far from both our works. so i dont think we are going to move into it. but i was browsing apartment online and we found better ones way closer! so were excited about that.  the day ended pretty good though. i love him so much. its been stressful as hell lately because of money and all ( Read more... )

so far today has been boring. beau came home and we slept for a bit and then went to pick up his truck. the bed looked pretty good. we got home and made some rice and hes sleepin now. we have an appt to look at that 2 bedroom apt today. i cant wait. i hope he likes it and would want to move there but he already has a bad attitude about it which i ( Read more... )

So i usually write entries on my myspace but i decided to use this instead. i hate writing, so i decide to keep a journal online. anyways things for me lately has been crazy. i live in san diego cali and i hate it here. so much. i just got married june 29th and im so fucked up in the head i already feel as if im ruining it. hes a wonderful guy. he ( Read more... )