Lessons Learned - Chapter 56
Characters: Nico Rosberg, Jenson Button, Mark Webber
Pairings: None-ish
Ratings: Green flagSummary: Done. Finished. Over
Disclaimer: Not real, didn't happen.
Has Mark gone?
Nico looked at the text, Jenson had laid out a strict plan for him to follow. He had to text him to let him know the client was not a danger and immediately once they had gone, Nico hated the strained look on Jenson's face when they discussed it.
Jenson’s phoned beeped and looking at the message he knew it was Nico, what he didn’t realise was that Mark had read it too.
“I better be off.” Mark could see it was from Nico, and despite Jenson being resolute they couldn’t work something out he wanted to give them a chance of happiness. “Thanks for listening.”
“No worries, just go for it. Sounds like it could be the making of you, even if it means I’ll never get to see you!” Jenson was proud of what Mark had achieved, he inspired him to push harder for his own dream.
“Win win surely?” Mark grinned.
“Something like that.” Jenson smiled in return as Mark levered himself off of his bed and left the house.
Sending it Nico didn't expect the reply to be so quick, he had been in his freshly made bed post shower before making the decision to ask for his company.
"Nico?"
He hadn't heard Jenson come up the stairs. "It's unlocked."
"You okay?"
"I can't do it anymore." He admitted finally, the words barely left his mouth before he found himself being cradled by Jenson.
"Nothing bad happened did it?" His heart jumped to his throat.
"No, no, it was just...just why he did it." He lay his head on Jenson's chest and explained about Sebastian and Kimi. "I know this will sound ridiculous, but I felt used. I can't explain why I haven't before, but he was so besotted with someone he wanted to be less innocent."
"Nico, I...I don't know what to say." Jenson could only hold on tighter to the man in his arms, his feelings for him had only grown stronger to the point where he was ready to walk away from him altogether. Having Mark see the spark between them had made it worse, it was so much easier when he could file it away under fantasy.
He couldn't bear to watch Nico go through his routine; getting the phone call, working out where to slot them in, preparing himself, knowing what he was doing after he got the text and the relief when he got the second. Jenson had initiated the texting just so he could concentrate on his work, he was spending so much time at the library it was easy to avoid the house. With Lewis hardly ever at university now, Timo moving in with Isobel and Paul enjoying Nico's double bed most nights it was easy to find the house empty.
"You've done so much for me Jense, you don't need to."
The words could so easily fall out, I love you, but now was not the time. He doubted there would ever be before he left, it would be easier to leave them unsaid no matter how devastated that made him feel. "I'm always going to be here for you." Who was he kidding, that was the truth, leaving Nico was not an option for him. Not now he was in this deep.
As Nico began to quietly sob in his arms Jenson slipped down the bed to lay face to face with him. "Shh, shh." He pulled Nico onto him and waited for his crying to subside.
The heavy breaths soon turned to sleepy ones and Jenson too found his body drifting from him, with Nico splayed across him he relaxed enough to finally switch off.
Jenson woke with a start somewhere between midnight and morning, the bed was cold and blindly feeling out behind him he found it empty too, and rolling over and let his fingers play with the bed sheet where Nico had been lying. Their occasional sleepovers had been anything but recently, where they had been once a week at most, now it was almost every night. He shouldn’t have let themselves fall into this routine, but it was easy to take the comfort.
Leaving the warmth of the bed he whispered out into the darkness of the house. “Nico? Nico?”
“Go back to bed Jense.” Came the tired reply.
Now he knew Nico was downstairs he clambered down the stairs and with legs clumsy with sleep he found his housemate sat on the sofa with his head in his hands.
“Go to bed.”
“What’s wrong?” He plonked himself down beside him regardless of Nico’s protests.
“Everything. Things back at home aren’t great, and I’m...I’m such a fuck up Jense. A normal person just gets a normal job, I should have just taken that job at the coffee shop instead and left it at that.”
“Nico this is just bad circumstances.”
“I can’t just blame that, people have it so much worse than me. What’s wrong with me to see this as a good option though?” He slumped back.
“So how did you...um…” They had never discussed this before.
“A friend...Jense I…” There were some things better left unsaid.
“Sorry, you don’t need to say anything. Just go to bed.” Jenson pulled him off the sofa and pushed him until he reached his bedroom. “You need to sleep.”
Nico followed his advice and snuggled under his fresh covers, just a hint of warmth from Jenson remained. “Don’t go.”
“I think it would be best if I did.”
“No.” Nico pouted.
Jenson’s resolve evaporated and he found himself in Nico’s bed once more. “You’re not a fuck up. It wasn’t the smartest idea Nico, but you really aren’t a fuck up.”
“Danke.” He murmured before succumbing to sleep.
---
Nico blinked a few times into the slither of morning sun that had broken through the gap in his curtains, turning his head slightly he registered the weight of an arm across his waist and looking down he saw Jenson’s arm. His hand was placed on his chest and was holding him tightly to his body, he could have fallen back to sleep so easy but in doing so he would have missed what Jenson had done next.
As he squirmed into Jenson’s body a set of lips pressed against the back of his neck, it was light and fleeting like they did it all the time, but Nico broke out in goosebumps at the contact. His own body yearned for Jenson and realising this he tried to move out of his grasp, he couldn’t be in a relationship with someone who knew all of this; knew about the men who paid to fuck him, who paid to be fucked by him, the boy who paid him to lose his innocence.
It was as if Jenson could sense it and held onto him tighter. “Not a fuck up.”
Jenson took his arm away from Nico realising the line he had crossed, but when he shuffled out of bed to give Nico space he was surprised to find a hand clasping the back of his tee shirt. No words were spoken but within a moment Jenson found another hand bringing him closer and brought together they both hesitated with their lips a breath apart.
“Nico.” Jenson croaked. “You said…”
“I know.” He cried out in frustration.
Jenson sighed sadly and stroked Nico’s cheek softly. “Your past doesn’t have to define you. Not if you don’t let it.”
“Just go Jense.” He had to do this for Jenson, he had to do this so Jenson could be free.
“No, remember what I said, I’m not going to abandon you. I mean it.”
“I don’t deserve you.” He hated himself for being glad Jenson decided to stay.
“That’s the thing Nico, you do deserve friends. You deserve every bit of good you get.” Jenson allowed himself to relax, but cursed himself, he could have had another kiss. But he knew that wasn’t right. “I’m going to have a shower if that’s okay?”
“Yeah.” Nico turned away, he didn’t want to see Jenson leave. He heard the water run and the disturbance in the flow as Jenson washed himself, but as he lay there he came to realise he had everything he could possible want, he’d never had a friend as good as Jenson.
Jenson gently tapped on the door. “It’s free.”
Nico followed suit and scrubbed himself clean, so much so his skin burned by the time he left but he felt better. He felt free. He had the money, he had a back up reserve and the guilt for overcharging evaporated. With a towel wrapped loosely around his waist he took the few steps to his room and dried himself off properly, and as he did he could smell breakfast being made. Tea and toast, their speciality.
Pairings: None-ish
Ratings: Green flagSummary: Done. Finished. Over
Disclaimer: Not real, didn't happen.
Has Mark gone?
Nico looked at the text, Jenson had laid out a strict plan for him to follow. He had to text him to let him know the client was not a danger and immediately once they had gone, Nico hated the strained look on Jenson's face when they discussed it.
Jenson’s phoned beeped and looking at the message he knew it was Nico, what he didn’t realise was that Mark had read it too.
“I better be off.” Mark could see it was from Nico, and despite Jenson being resolute they couldn’t work something out he wanted to give them a chance of happiness. “Thanks for listening.”
“No worries, just go for it. Sounds like it could be the making of you, even if it means I’ll never get to see you!” Jenson was proud of what Mark had achieved, he inspired him to push harder for his own dream.
“Win win surely?” Mark grinned.
“Something like that.” Jenson smiled in return as Mark levered himself off of his bed and left the house.
Sending it Nico didn't expect the reply to be so quick, he had been in his freshly made bed post shower before making the decision to ask for his company.
"Nico?"
He hadn't heard Jenson come up the stairs. "It's unlocked."
"You okay?"
"I can't do it anymore." He admitted finally, the words barely left his mouth before he found himself being cradled by Jenson.
"Nothing bad happened did it?" His heart jumped to his throat.
"No, no, it was just...just why he did it." He lay his head on Jenson's chest and explained about Sebastian and Kimi. "I know this will sound ridiculous, but I felt used. I can't explain why I haven't before, but he was so besotted with someone he wanted to be less innocent."
"Nico, I...I don't know what to say." Jenson could only hold on tighter to the man in his arms, his feelings for him had only grown stronger to the point where he was ready to walk away from him altogether. Having Mark see the spark between them had made it worse, it was so much easier when he could file it away under fantasy.
He couldn't bear to watch Nico go through his routine; getting the phone call, working out where to slot them in, preparing himself, knowing what he was doing after he got the text and the relief when he got the second. Jenson had initiated the texting just so he could concentrate on his work, he was spending so much time at the library it was easy to avoid the house. With Lewis hardly ever at university now, Timo moving in with Isobel and Paul enjoying Nico's double bed most nights it was easy to find the house empty.
"You've done so much for me Jense, you don't need to."
The words could so easily fall out, I love you, but now was not the time. He doubted there would ever be before he left, it would be easier to leave them unsaid no matter how devastated that made him feel. "I'm always going to be here for you." Who was he kidding, that was the truth, leaving Nico was not an option for him. Not now he was in this deep.
As Nico began to quietly sob in his arms Jenson slipped down the bed to lay face to face with him. "Shh, shh." He pulled Nico onto him and waited for his crying to subside.
The heavy breaths soon turned to sleepy ones and Jenson too found his body drifting from him, with Nico splayed across him he relaxed enough to finally switch off.
Jenson woke with a start somewhere between midnight and morning, the bed was cold and blindly feeling out behind him he found it empty too, and rolling over and let his fingers play with the bed sheet where Nico had been lying. Their occasional sleepovers had been anything but recently, where they had been once a week at most, now it was almost every night. He shouldn’t have let themselves fall into this routine, but it was easy to take the comfort.
Leaving the warmth of the bed he whispered out into the darkness of the house. “Nico? Nico?”
“Go back to bed Jense.” Came the tired reply.
Now he knew Nico was downstairs he clambered down the stairs and with legs clumsy with sleep he found his housemate sat on the sofa with his head in his hands.
“Go to bed.”
“What’s wrong?” He plonked himself down beside him regardless of Nico’s protests.
“Everything. Things back at home aren’t great, and I’m...I’m such a fuck up Jense. A normal person just gets a normal job, I should have just taken that job at the coffee shop instead and left it at that.”
“Nico this is just bad circumstances.”
“I can’t just blame that, people have it so much worse than me. What’s wrong with me to see this as a good option though?” He slumped back.
“So how did you...um…” They had never discussed this before.
“A friend...Jense I…” There were some things better left unsaid.
“Sorry, you don’t need to say anything. Just go to bed.” Jenson pulled him off the sofa and pushed him until he reached his bedroom. “You need to sleep.”
Nico followed his advice and snuggled under his fresh covers, just a hint of warmth from Jenson remained. “Don’t go.”
“I think it would be best if I did.”
“No.” Nico pouted.
Jenson’s resolve evaporated and he found himself in Nico’s bed once more. “You’re not a fuck up. It wasn’t the smartest idea Nico, but you really aren’t a fuck up.”
“Danke.” He murmured before succumbing to sleep.
---
Nico blinked a few times into the slither of morning sun that had broken through the gap in his curtains, turning his head slightly he registered the weight of an arm across his waist and looking down he saw Jenson’s arm. His hand was placed on his chest and was holding him tightly to his body, he could have fallen back to sleep so easy but in doing so he would have missed what Jenson had done next.
As he squirmed into Jenson’s body a set of lips pressed against the back of his neck, it was light and fleeting like they did it all the time, but Nico broke out in goosebumps at the contact. His own body yearned for Jenson and realising this he tried to move out of his grasp, he couldn’t be in a relationship with someone who knew all of this; knew about the men who paid to fuck him, who paid to be fucked by him, the boy who paid him to lose his innocence.
It was as if Jenson could sense it and held onto him tighter. “Not a fuck up.”
Jenson took his arm away from Nico realising the line he had crossed, but when he shuffled out of bed to give Nico space he was surprised to find a hand clasping the back of his tee shirt. No words were spoken but within a moment Jenson found another hand bringing him closer and brought together they both hesitated with their lips a breath apart.
“Nico.” Jenson croaked. “You said…”
“I know.” He cried out in frustration.
Jenson sighed sadly and stroked Nico’s cheek softly. “Your past doesn’t have to define you. Not if you don’t let it.”
“Just go Jense.” He had to do this for Jenson, he had to do this so Jenson could be free.
“No, remember what I said, I’m not going to abandon you. I mean it.”
“I don’t deserve you.” He hated himself for being glad Jenson decided to stay.
“That’s the thing Nico, you do deserve friends. You deserve every bit of good you get.” Jenson allowed himself to relax, but cursed himself, he could have had another kiss. But he knew that wasn’t right. “I’m going to have a shower if that’s okay?”
“Yeah.” Nico turned away, he didn’t want to see Jenson leave. He heard the water run and the disturbance in the flow as Jenson washed himself, but as he lay there he came to realise he had everything he could possible want, he’d never had a friend as good as Jenson.
Jenson gently tapped on the door. “It’s free.”
Nico followed suit and scrubbed himself clean, so much so his skin burned by the time he left but he felt better. He felt free. He had the money, he had a back up reserve and the guilt for overcharging evaporated. With a towel wrapped loosely around his waist he took the few steps to his room and dried himself off properly, and as he did he could smell breakfast being made. Tea and toast, their speciality.