Ya know.. I was gonna just let y'all know how I'm doin and everything.. but I decided to rant on something that's been botherin me and I know many others as well
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Oooooh, the topic of dating outside the church. I'm pretty new to this journal thing, so I don't know what people have said in other posts, but here are my thoughts. I haven't and will not date outside of the church because I can't imagine having the close bond of marriage with someone without sharing my faith with him. How could you have a complete relationship with someone who doesn't appreciate your #1 priority? I don't want to offend anyone here...my mom is in the church and my dad is not, and they've made it work. So if you're in my boat, I know what you're going through! But when they got married, they were both in the faith. I don't think you should purposefully go into a relationship with someone knowing that you don't see eye to eye on religion. Religious disagreement is in the top 3 reasons for marital problems and divorce
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Re: good one!sweetsylviaSeptember 1 2004, 16:32:26 UTC
Well I understand where you're comin from w/ the parents in and out of church, my parents divorced b/c of church. I'm w/ you, I can't imagine not sharin the biggest part of my life w/ my future mate. But sometimes, it's so hard to realize the guys in the church aren't gonna be perfect, but like you said.. I do have my standards. Maybe we'll all straighten up and get in serious relationships (if willing and ready, hehe). Thanks for commenting! :)
Re: good one!superfarmertanSeptember 4 2004, 16:42:29 UTC
ok now I am a guy and i know ya'll have standards(tho some of the standards are kinda out there fro some people)... but i to have standards. So if ya'll can tell guys to "step it up" I am going to also. "Women step it up". But one question for you. WOuld you even want to date a guy that Does not want to better themselves, are they really in the church? It just shows their true colors. Better to see them as how they are now.
Re: good one!sweetsylviaSeptember 4 2004, 23:27:55 UTC
Tommy, I didn't mean this post to be just about the guys steppin up. I was leanin more toward everyone playin their correct role. And to answer your question, no I wouldn't want to date a guy that doesn't want to better himself. I don't want someone who's just goin w/ the motions, but someone who's sincere in his beliefs and isn't a hypocrite about it. That's why it's so hard to find guys like that, b/c a lot of them are doin it b/c their parents are doin it or b/c it makes them different or something. Whatever their reasoning is, I want no part of that, I need someone who's gonna be righteous for the rest of his life and not have to worry about whether or not he's sincere.
Dating within/without the Churchgreensub64September 1 2004, 17:26:59 UTC
Ohkay... You have made some amazing points here April, and yes all of us have been where you are. All of us think that "he" will change for us, that maybe God will call him. Afterall though, God calls, not us. The little beatle inside of me screams "If only I ran the world, I would be dating Hugh Jackman!" Not possible
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About dating outside of the Church, I've said before on BE's journal that I see nothing wrong with it as long as there's a mutual respect between the two about religion. My mom, too, is in the church and my dad isn't, never was. Mom has often said that the marriages that are on a fondation of the Church are sometimes the hardest to maintain in these days of such religious confusion in the environs on the Church. We shouldn't be locked into some sort of mandate that we MUST date in the church. And that goes into the whole sanctified issue that is laborious and if you really want it, go look for BE's journal, lol
But hey! The DMSR is in its early stages! We haven't even made it to the 1 Month Marker yet. This latest commentary by Eric addresses some of the things that you talked about April. But hey, I asked you for material, you could have done these things too, lol.
If you wanna help us make a difference, gotta contribute!
Give me the time to contribute and I will, hehe. I'm going to, I have my ideas, it's just a matter of havin time to get them typed out and to you. I'm not dissing the site, I think it's great, and I really believe it'll help. I just wanted to see more of a "fix the man as well" perspective than I'd been seeing. And the dating, in my opinion, isn't really something I must do, but I think I'd be much happier w/ someone who shares my religious beliefs, respect won't get you very far when money's low and you have to go to the Feast, trust me, I know all about that one. I think having a relationship w/ a non believer could also make one compromise their beliefs. Of course, that wouldn't happen in some cases, but I don't want it to be an option. I want my husband one day to go to church w/ me, believe the same way as me, and raise our kids the same way. God has to be #1 in our lives, and I want to marry someone w/ that same basic principle.
Now I can actually commentlildaisymandaSeptember 4 2004, 14:22:03 UTC
You know how I feel about this, I think us discussing it made you want to come out and write about it. I know love is a choice, so why do I want to love someone out of the church? Because I know he can make me happy, can someone else? Sure, they just didn't come along first. I know I need to be careful, we all do...and all I can say is thank God the Feast is soon. I need to get away from this world and think for a while. For once, I think a lot of us are going to appreciate the down time, not just "party time."
Re: Hot Salsa...sweetsylviaSeptember 26 2004, 13:25:37 UTC
Very nice to hear from you again, hope you're doin well. :)
For starters, of course the ladies need to change. I was in no way tryin to say just the men, or even more so the men. Everyone has something they need to work on. I mainly posted b/c of what was going on around me. I'm working to change myself, some of my girlfriends are as well.. and I noticed a lot of them are finding these great outside guys that act a lot more wholesome than the guys in the church. Not saying all guys in the church are jerks either, I know a lot of outstanding guys in the faith. So don't take my post as something it wasn't. I've helped in writing something for DMSR, maybe you should read it (and the other numerous articles).. it's all about women changing.
And I'd like to find someone, someday get married and have a family and all that.. but right now the timing just isn't good. So don't worry about me fretting over it, that isn't happening anyway ;)
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But hey! The DMSR is in its early stages! We haven't even made it to the 1 Month Marker yet. This latest commentary by Eric addresses some of the things that you talked about April. But hey, I asked you for material, you could have done these things too, lol.
If you wanna help us make a difference, gotta contribute!
Tony
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For starters, of course the ladies need to change. I was in no way tryin to say just the men, or even more so the men. Everyone has something they need to work on. I mainly posted b/c of what was going on around me. I'm working to change myself, some of my girlfriends are as well.. and I noticed a lot of them are finding these great outside guys that act a lot more wholesome than the guys in the church. Not saying all guys in the church are jerks either, I know a lot of outstanding guys in the faith. So don't take my post as something it wasn't. I've helped in writing something for DMSR, maybe you should read it (and the other numerous articles).. it's all about women changing.
And I'd like to find someone, someday get married and have a family and all that.. but right now the timing just isn't good. So don't worry about me fretting over it, that isn't happening anyway ;)
Hope to see you in PCB :)
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