[fic] china's rules part ii
o////o you made it this far! yay! /spazhug
Anyway, carry on...
61.
Trying to get Austria and Switzerland and England and America to reconcile will result in bad things happening.
62. -I-I was just trying to be a good friend and help bring about world peace, aru! Honest!
63. Telling Belarus that England is going to propose to Russia just to get her off my back is uncalled for.
64. -So is every other form of revenge on England, aru.
65. -We are supposed to be diplomatic, immortal nations and not young people in their twenties, aru!
66. Asking Switzerland if he yodels is not advisable, aru.
67. Nor is asking Liechtenstein, although she would probably tell me.
68. -Even if it would admittedly be funny.
69. I am not allowed to tell Sealand why Denmark and France and Prussia are laughing at this number, aru.
70. -Poor dear knows too much already, thanks to England, aru.
71. Telling everyone at world meetings that England sneaks around with America behind France’s back is cruel and uncalled for, aru.
72. -It isn’t true, aru.
73. -Even though it would be funny.
74. Telling everyone at world meetings that France sneaks around with everyone behind England’s back is also not advisable.
75. -Even if it is true.
76. Going to world meetings in a dress is not advisable, aru.
77. -Even if Korea and Taiwan forced me into it by threatening Shinatty-chan.
78. -The last time it happened, France tried to hit on me and Hungary had to be hospitalized from blood loss aru.
79. I am not allowed to become one with Russia.
80. -This is just for the sake of the rest of the world, aru.
81. -I am not allowed to imply that I do not care about everyone else’s sanities and that I will do it.
82. Screaming at France to put clothes on is not recommended.
83. -He will read it as a poorly-disguised pickup line, aru.
84. Trying to control the rest of the world during meetings will not work.
85. -EVER.
86. -If Germany cannot do it, then neither can I, aru.
87. -See rule 37.
88. Letting Vietnam near America or France will not end prettily, aru.
89. -Even though seeing them begging for mercy was funny.
90. I will not get mad when America says all Asians look alike.
91. -Taiwan got mad enough already when she realized he was implying that she looked like Russia.
92. -Even though he wasn’t and that Russia is not that bad-looking, aru.
93. Proclaiming that Russia is an Asian nation only will not end happily for me.
94. -Or the rest of my siblings.
95. I am not allowed to respond to Feliciano’s questions over who his grandmother really was.
96. -Nor am I allowed to answer Greece’s questions over who his father really was.
97. -Even though I was around long enough to know, aru.
98. -Everybody knows Rome got it on with Greece’s and Egypt’s mothers.
99. -They do not need to know that.
100. -Them knowing will only result in a very tedious session over determining how everybody is related, aru.
101. -I am also not allowed to Rules 95 and 96 that as a comment about my age.
102. My breasts do not belong to Korea, and I should tell him off when he tries to claim it, aru.
103. Nobody should have the horror of their breasts belonging to Korea.
104. -Especially not Ukraine, aru.
105. Bringing any of my siblings to Russia’s house with me is not recommended, aru.
106. -AT ALL.
107. I am not allowed to get mad when Taiwan suggests I join the Pitiful Brothers Trio.
108. -She is just provoking me. I am a very good brother…really…aru.
109. -It should be Korea who joins them. He was not a very good brother to Taiwan and Hong Kong.
110. -Even though he was younger than me and it was partly my fault.
111. See Rule 107.
112. Getting mad that more people celebrated Valentine’s Day than Chinese New Year this year is not advisable, aru.
113. I do not know what a uke is.
114. -Nor am I allowed to respond to Japan’s questions as to whether I am one, aru.
115. Trying to persuade Taiwan that I am young, cool, and hip will not work.
116. -She never believes me anyway*.
117. I am not young. I am as old as Rome, and I should try to act my age.
118. -Act like an old man? Never, aru! That role is for Japan.
119. Laughing about how Germany cannot draw is not nice. It hurts his feelings, aru.
120. I am especially not allowed to break Rule 1, aru.
I, the People’s Republic of China, promise to abide by these rules always, because not doing so will not end well.
Aru.
notes:
RULE 34. IN ALL ITS GLORY
nothing ever said china was as old as rome, but his given age is 4000 so yeah
*<-- this is canon. see china's drama cd.
Anyway, carry on...
61.
Trying to get Austria and Switzerland and England and America to reconcile will result in bad things happening.
62. -I-I was just trying to be a good friend and help bring about world peace, aru! Honest!
63. Telling Belarus that England is going to propose to Russia just to get her off my back is uncalled for.
64. -So is every other form of revenge on England, aru.
65. -We are supposed to be diplomatic, immortal nations and not young people in their twenties, aru!
66. Asking Switzerland if he yodels is not advisable, aru.
67. Nor is asking Liechtenstein, although she would probably tell me.
68. -Even if it would admittedly be funny.
69. I am not allowed to tell Sealand why Denmark and France and Prussia are laughing at this number, aru.
70. -Poor dear knows too much already, thanks to England, aru.
71. Telling everyone at world meetings that England sneaks around with America behind France’s back is cruel and uncalled for, aru.
72. -It isn’t true, aru.
73. -Even though it would be funny.
74. Telling everyone at world meetings that France sneaks around with everyone behind England’s back is also not advisable.
75. -Even if it is true.
76. Going to world meetings in a dress is not advisable, aru.
77. -Even if Korea and Taiwan forced me into it by threatening Shinatty-chan.
78. -The last time it happened, France tried to hit on me and Hungary had to be hospitalized from blood loss aru.
79. I am not allowed to become one with Russia.
80. -This is just for the sake of the rest of the world, aru.
81. -I am not allowed to imply that I do not care about everyone else’s sanities and that I will do it.
82. Screaming at France to put clothes on is not recommended.
83. -He will read it as a poorly-disguised pickup line, aru.
84. Trying to control the rest of the world during meetings will not work.
85. -EVER.
86. -If Germany cannot do it, then neither can I, aru.
87. -See rule 37.
88. Letting Vietnam near America or France will not end prettily, aru.
89. -Even though seeing them begging for mercy was funny.
90. I will not get mad when America says all Asians look alike.
91. -Taiwan got mad enough already when she realized he was implying that she looked like Russia.
92. -Even though he wasn’t and that Russia is not that bad-looking, aru.
93. Proclaiming that Russia is an Asian nation only will not end happily for me.
94. -Or the rest of my siblings.
95. I am not allowed to respond to Feliciano’s questions over who his grandmother really was.
96. -Nor am I allowed to answer Greece’s questions over who his father really was.
97. -Even though I was around long enough to know, aru.
98. -Everybody knows Rome got it on with Greece’s and Egypt’s mothers.
99. -They do not need to know that.
100. -Them knowing will only result in a very tedious session over determining how everybody is related, aru.
101. -I am also not allowed to Rules 95 and 96 that as a comment about my age.
102. My breasts do not belong to Korea, and I should tell him off when he tries to claim it, aru.
103. Nobody should have the horror of their breasts belonging to Korea.
104. -Especially not Ukraine, aru.
105. Bringing any of my siblings to Russia’s house with me is not recommended, aru.
106. -AT ALL.
107. I am not allowed to get mad when Taiwan suggests I join the Pitiful Brothers Trio.
108. -She is just provoking me. I am a very good brother…really…aru.
109. -It should be Korea who joins them. He was not a very good brother to Taiwan and Hong Kong.
110. -Even though he was younger than me and it was partly my fault.
111. See Rule 107.
112. Getting mad that more people celebrated Valentine’s Day than Chinese New Year this year is not advisable, aru.
113. I do not know what a uke is.
114. -Nor am I allowed to respond to Japan’s questions as to whether I am one, aru.
115. Trying to persuade Taiwan that I am young, cool, and hip will not work.
116. -She never believes me anyway*.
117. I am not young. I am as old as Rome, and I should try to act my age.
118. -Act like an old man? Never, aru! That role is for Japan.
119. Laughing about how Germany cannot draw is not nice. It hurts his feelings, aru.
120. I am especially not allowed to break Rule 1, aru.
I, the People’s Republic of China, promise to abide by these rules always, because not doing so will not end well.
Aru.
notes:
RULE 34. IN ALL ITS GLORY
nothing ever said china was as old as rome, but his given age is 4000 so yeah
*<-- this is canon. see china's drama cd.