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i cant imagine what the next six months of my life have in store for me. i have so many choices and decisions to make, and so much weight on my shoulders. so much is depending on whether or not i can get my shit together. i feel like all i've sucessfully done is ruin lives so far.
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if in a few months from now, you turn back and think you've fucked up royally - trust me, things really aren't all that bad. i feel like i've ruined plenty of lives - most importantly my own. my life is completely fucked up and the truth that no one really wants to admit, is that everyone would probably be a whole lot better off with me dead and out of their lives.
but hey. for whatever reason, people don't really voice that. so instead, it seems like i've fucked up a whole lot and ruined everyone's life... but i still have people who love me.
i guess as long as i have that, suicide is just another day dream.
keep your chin up young jackson.
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