[Pin] Gunshot Pride
she's a gunshot bride
I'll burn before I let you bury me
set your sights for the sun
***
They jostle purposefully on the crowded train, on the crowded bus to the Dome, through the narrow door, which they insist on going through at the same time. They do it not just because they are boys and that they are best friends forever complete with their special exclusive "heartshake" (born from Jin's insistence and refusal to let go of Yamapi's wrists, formed with Yamapi's thoughtful nature and a moment's invention). They do it because they get to touch each other and they do it because they can, and they do it because it's real in a world they never thought they'd make it in the first place. Sugar highs start to blend with blinding fears when they are together. They think they are having the time of their lives.
*
It's not the first time they fight, it's not the first time they shout, it's not the first time their eyes are black with mutual hurt, their lips pursed in anger. It is, however, the first time they have managed to draw stinging tears to each other’s eyes. Blood beads on Yamapi’s swollen lip where he has bitten down in frustration. Jin's hair sticks to his forehead, the sides of his face, and the effort of keeping the sharp words from rolling of the tip of his tongue shows up naked on his face. It is also the first time they taste each other, a tangy musk that explodes into a supernova behind their eyes when they smash their mouths together for a lack of words to say.
*
"Do you know what I want," Jin flicks the ash with a flick of his thumb, with a flick of his arm over the side of the convertible. Anger coils and hisses in the base of his gut, dangerous.
Yamapi is silent for so long that Jin starts to think the roar of wind in their ears must have swallowed his words whole. Those greedy little bastards, Jin thinks, and almost opens his mouth to speak again when Yamapi beats him to it.
"Only you know what you fucking want, Jin." Yamapi's eyes stay where they should be, even when he says things like that. Especially when he says things like that, emotions volatile like an undisturbed mass of superheated water. They stay on the road to keep themselves safe.
***