gift for allyndra
Author: slytherin_gypsy
Recipient: allyndra.
Title: Five Times Ryan Was Tempted To Kiss Chad (And The One Time He Did).
Pairing(s): Chad/Ryan (mentions of Troy/Gabriela, Sharpay/Zeke, Kelsi/Jason).
Summary: During five different occasions Ryan has been tempted to kiss Chad. On the sixth time, he gives in.
Rating: PG.
Warning(s): None.
Word Count: 4161 words.
Disclaimer: All High School Musical characters herein are the property of Disney. No copyright infringement is intended.
Author's Notes: This was written for allyndra, who asked for “a story where the race and class differences between Chad and Ryan actually matter” and who’d like to see “one of the boys suddenly realizes they've been in love/dating for ages”. I hope this manages to capture a bit of what you wanted.
The places and events mentioned in this story actually exist. As I’ve never been to Albuquerque, their representation is completely fictionalized.
OoOoO
The Staff Baseball Game at Lava Springs, the beginning of summer.
It had been a very long time since Ryan had had so much fun outside of a stage.
There was no Sharpay to direct his steps, no role he was expected to play, besides his own. He was flying high on adrenaline, from the rush of the game, the enthusiastic cheering from the stands, the heat he could feel every time Danforth looked at him.
The score was close, too close for Ryan’s comfort. He wanted to win. He wanted to show them all what he was capable of, to earn their respect. He wanted to prove to Danforth that he was much more than Sharpay’s lackey, a person on his own right, someone worth knowing.
He turned around, ready for the next play, and suddenly found himself face to face with the object of his thoughts. Their eyes met and for a split second, Ryan saw something in the other boy’s gaze - a measure of respect, grudging admiration, a hint of something akin to desire - that made him want to ignore both teams and the dozens of bystanders and simply reach out, pull Danforth towards him and kiss him with all his might.
A particularly enthusiastic cheer from the stands broke the moment, making both boys pull apart. Ryan convinced himself that the look had been a product of his overactive imagination.
He blamed his still racing heart on the physical exertion of the game.
OoOoO
The Cottonwood Mall, Albuquerque, two days before Gabriella’s birthday
Ryan Evans loved to shop.
It was a good thing he did, otherwise he would never have survived so long having Sharpay as a sister; she tended to plan shopping excursions with a ruthlessness and determination most people reserved for particularly hostile takeovers.
This time, however, he didn’t have to worry about being dragged around by his sister. Upon finding out that Ryan wanted to find a gift for Gabriella’s birthday, Sharpay had flat out refused to come and help him. Ryan didn’t complain about it and was actually a little bit relieved; he liked Gabriella and the idea of letting Sharpay choose something she found suitable for the other girl was a little scary.
So here he was, strolling through the largest mall in New Mexico, sure that somewhere the perfect gift was just waiting to be found.
“Hey, Evans,” he heard someone shout.
Ryan turned around to see none other than Chad Danforth coming towards him, wearing a green “Kiss Me, I’m Irish” t-shirt, faded jeans and a pair of sneakers that had once, long ago, been white.
“Hey, Evans,” he said again as he got to Ryan’s side and smiled.
Ryan felt a weird flip-flop feeling inside his belly and berated himself for the large Mint Mocha Chip Frappuccino he had ordered earlier; it clearly hadn’t settled well on his empty stomach.
“Looking for a new hat?” Chad asked and Ryan rolled his eyes. It was clear from the other boy’s tone that he was teasing, not mocking, and he couldn’t help but smile a little despite himself. Ever since the baseball game he and Chad had developed this strange camaraderie that mainly consisted of trading good natured barbs.
“Birthday present for Gabriella,” he said, readjusting the stripped fedora he was sporting today.
“Oh, I just bought it,” Chad said, brandishing a shopping bag from Build-A-Bear Ryan hadn’t noticed before. From it he extracted a small, tawny bear that bore an uncanny resemblance to Troy Bolton, basketball uniform included. “You think she’s gonna like it?” There was a distinct mischievous look sparkling in his eyes.
After agreeing, Ryan asked Chad if he’d like to accompany him in his own shopping expedition. The other boy agreed and they were soon involved in an animated conversation that involved everything from Ryan trying to convince Chad to go see one of the productions of the The American Shakespeare Project (“I get enough of that from Darbus, Evans”) to Chad trying to extract a promise from Ryan about joining the baseball team (“We’ll see”).
After a couple of dead ends, Ryan realized he had struck gold when he saw a jewelry store ahead. He knew Gabriella would refuse to accept a gift if she though he had gone overboard, but he was certain he could find something that would please his discerning taste and not offend her middle class sensibilities.
The saleswoman was very helpful and he quickly narrowed down his choices to two pairings of earrings. He was debating on the merits of green or lilac against her complexion when he noticed the look the saleswoman was directing at Chad, who was staring at the displays on the side, hands inside his pockets. It was not the friendly, “How can I help you today” look she had directed at him the moment he had set foot inside the store; it was a suspicious, “Don’t even think about it, punk” look.
Ryan saw red. He curtly said he couldn’t find what he was looking for and literally dragged Chad out of the store. They walked for a couple of minutes in silence till Ryan felt a warm hand on his shoulder.
He turned, still fuming, and found himself facing Chad’s unusually serious face. At that moment, Ryan realized that the other boy was aware of what had set him off like that.
“Look,” Chad started, before Ryan could think of anything to say. “There are some incredibly stupid people in this world. People that think they know all there is to know about someone just by looking at them. Believe me, I’ve met my share of them and I have a feeling you have too.” Here, Ryan slowly nodded, though he didn’t say anything. “And if there’s one thing I’ve learned, is that you shouldn’t give them the satisfaction of getting to you.”
Ryan wasn’t quite sure of what he saw in Chad’s face at that moment. Not resignation, per se, more of an acknowledgment that the world wasn’t the way he wanted it to be. There was a little bit of sadness as well, but most of all Ryan could see an undercurrent of strength and a determination to, no matter what, hold his head upright.
Ryan felt the sudden desire to lean over and kiss him.
Suppressing his extremely inconvenient hormones, Ryan said, “You know, I’m sure I’ll find something perfect for Gaby at the New Mexico Book Co-Op”. The other boy nodded in agreement and they started to walk in the direction of the bookstore.
Chad’s hand remained on Ryan’s shoulder the entire way.
OoOoO
East High Cafeteria, first day of Senior Year
Despite what other people might think, Ryan was not stupid. He knew, for instance, that while some socialization lines had been crossed over during the summer, this did not mean that things would change when school resumed.
The Wildcats might have been friendly during their time at Lava Springs, but in the end he was still Ryan Evans, co-president of the drama club, Sharpay’s twin brother and quite clearly not one of them. Gabriela, he knew, was just too genuinely sweet to forget about him completely, but he had absolutely no expectations when it came to the others.
So it was with considerable surprise that after the lunch bell rang on the first day of school, Ryan found himself being dragged by Chad (who proclaimed himself to be “starving”) to the cafeteria. There, he was summarily placed in a table with the other Wildcats and apparently expected to eat an enormous hamburger with fries (The carbs! The grease!) and talk about sports.
Ryan couldn’t have felt happier.
No one questioned his presence and thanks to Gabriela and Taylor the conversation branched off to topics other than basketball. From the corner of his eye he could see Sharpay up at their usual seat in the drama club table, wolfing down the pastries a besotted Zeke (who looked very pleased with himself) had baked for her. Across from them a radiant Kelsi was apparently trying to teach a befuddled Jason to read music.
He’d finished half of his hamburger and was about to throw the rest out when Chad (who really had to have been starving considering the way he had inhaled his food) proclaimed it a waste of good food and proceeded to finish it off with gusto.
Ryan supposed he should have thought that was a little disgusting (he was thinking about his half-eaten food after all), but in the end he couldn’t bring himself to. It seemed such an intimate gesture somehow, even if just in a friendly way: stealing food, sharing soda cans, finishing each others leftovers. Ryan had never had anyone he felt comfortably doing this kind of stuff with (Sharpay would have had a fit if she saw him doing something like that) and the idea that Chad felt they were close enough to do so made him happy.
Chad didn’t seem to notice the depth of his thoughts. He finished his burger with a satisfied sight (and a half-disguised burp) and started to talk about his weekend, stopping abruptly at the sound of Ryan’s chuckle.
“You have ketchup on your face,” the blond told him before he could ask what was so funny. Half annoyed, half embarrassed, Chad scrubbed his mouth with the back of his hand - missing the spot completely.
“Here, let me,” said Ryan, who reached out and stroked his thumb over the corner of Chad’s mouth, wiping the red traces away.
It was meant as a simple, friendly gesture, but the moment Chad’s eyes locked into his Ryan felt as if a thousand butterflies were flying inside his belly. And for the first time he knew he couldn’t blame the heat or what he had eaten or whatever else he could have come up with. Chad, it seemed, had the uncanny ability to make him lose touch with reality.
Ryan wondered what would happen if he leaned in and kissed him in the middle of the school cafeteria.
Before he could find out, the moment was broken by Troy, who proceeded to ask Chad about his track and field schedule, oblivious to the fact that Chad and Ryan had jumped away from each other as if electrocuted.
After school, Chad stopped by his desk as if nothing had happened and asked if he wanted to hang out. Ryan was relived, the last thing he wanted was for things to be awkward between them.
If a small part of him was disappointed, he ignored it completely.
OoOoO
Saturday afternoon at the New Mexico State Fair, mid September
Ryan kept having to remind himself that this was not a date. So what if it was not the group outing he had expected when Chad mentioned it to him? It was perfectly normal for two guys to hang out in a platonic way. Why, he and Chad had been doing that a lot since school started; going to movies, watching games on TV, talking in cafes after school.
There was something about this outing, however, that kept fooling Ryan into expecting something more. Perhaps it was the fact that Chad was looking extra nice, as if he'd put some considerable effort into it, or that he had insisted in paying for everything (payback, he said, for the "extra" baseball season ticket Ryan just happened to have available). It might even have been the duck plushie the other boy had won for him at the shooting booth (after eight tries) because he thought it was just perfect for the blond.
It was, however, clearly not a date and Ryan knew he'd better get that straight (oh, the irony!), otherwise he'd end up saying or doing something so stupid he'd never have to worry about another non-date with Chad again.
"So, what do you think of the New Mexico State Fair?" the dark-skinned boy asked him.
Sighing, Ryan admitted that it was fun, knowing that Chad was going to gloat a little. He hadn’t been keen on spending his Saturday at a fair where one of the main attractions was, of all things, a rodeo. He had to admit he was having a great time, though he had the feeling it was more due to the company than to the surroundings. Chad seemed to know just where to steer them and even the more absurd sightings were amusing rather than irritating.
"Oh, let's go on the Ferris Wheel!" exclaimed Chad, pulling Ryan by the hand towards the short cue. "It will be awesome to watch the sunset from up there."
"The Ferris Wheel?" Ryan asked, surprised. That sounded awfully... romantic.
"I love anything that's high off the ground," Chad said by way of an explanation. "You're not afraid of heights are you?"
"Not really," Ryan answered, "It's just that..." and here he paused for a second, trying to think of something to say that wouldn’t give away the true direction of his thoughts. “I was just thinking about the last time I went on a Ferris Wheel."
"When was that?" Chad asked, handing their tickets to the man in charge and ignoring completely the odd stare he gave at seeing two teenage boys climb together on one of the two-person seats.
"A couple of years ago in Vienna," Ryan answered as he settled in. "We had dinner in the one at the Prater."
Chad looked like he wanted to ask about that, but they'd began to move and he was soon preoccupied in admiring the view and pointing things out to Ryan. He seemed completely unconcerned with the fact that his left side was pressed against the blond, or that he had to practically climb on Ryan's lap to point out all he wanted to share. If he didn't know better, Ryan would say that Chad was deliberately trying to get a reaction out of him. He kept touching Ryan, the wild curls of his hair brushing softly against his face. He smelled like the cotton candy they'd eaten earlier and Ryan knew it would be incredibly easy to turn his head just so when Chad moved towards him and find out if he tasted as good as he smelled. He was about to do that when they were interrupted.
"Ok, fellas, time's up," said the man in charge of the ride, and Ryan froze, realizing they had stopped. Had he really been about to kiss Chad?
"So...," Chad started to say as they got out of their seat, looking at him from the corner of his eyes. For a panic-filled moment Ryan thought he was going to get called on the almost kiss. "Wanna go get some hot dogs?"
Ryan laughed, a mixture of relief and disbelief at Chad's seemingly endless appetite. Mentally, he was cursing himself, realizing the extent of the predicament he was in. He finally managed to find a guy that genuinely wanted to be friends with him and he had to ruin it by getting a crush on him.
He’d be smart about it, he decided as they walked towards the hot dog stand, ignore it as best as he could and try hard to maintain his friendship with Chad. He meant too much to him to let a stupid crush get in the way.
By the time Chad had dropped him off at home, strangely silent, Ryan had almost managed to convince himself.
OoOoO
Ice Skating lessons at the Outpost Ice Arena, last week of September
When Ryan casually mentioned he had never ice skated, Chad had been appalled. Ryan couldn’t really blame him; it was something he had always meant to do, but never had had the time to try. Most of his free time was spent concentrating on acting and dancing, and his foray into winter sports consisted solely of his family’s annual trip to their ski lodge.
He’d always thought he’d get around to it eventually, put every time his family went to New York during the right months the lure of Broadway always turned out to be superior to the one exerted by the Rockefeller Center. He certainly had never expected to have his first experience like this; sneaking around an ice skate rink with Chad Danforth, who was determined to teach him how to skate.
Half an hour later Ryan had convinced himself this had been a devious plan on Chad’s part to humiliate him completely. He hadn’t managed to stay upright for more than a couple of seconds at a time and he was sure that by now he was black and blue all over.
To his credit, Chad hadn’t laughed once. He had been extremely patient, helping Ryan get up each and every time and offering much needed encouragement. For a guy who claimed he did not dance, Chad had an innate grace that utterly surprised Ryan. He glided effortlessly across the ice, as if he had been born wearing a pair of skates. When Ryan told him this, he merely shrugged and said he’d been skating since he was three.
Though he knew there was no way he could ever compete with Chad’s skills, Ryan refused to give up. He tried once more and to his surprise managed to move forward several feet without losing his balance.
“Yes!” he shouted, “I think I finally got the hang of this.”
But as soon as the words left his mouth, his precious equilibrium disappeared and he slipped, grabbing Chad, who had just reached him, on his way down and tumbling them both on the ice.
Wincing at the newly formed bump on his head, Ryan turned his face around to apologize for his clumsiness, only to find Chad shaking with suppressed laughter. That, of course, set Ryan off as well and soon they were both laughing freely, still lying on the ice.
“You know, I’m really glad you are here with me,” Chad told him when their laughter finally stopped, “Even though you kinda suck at this.”
Ryan wanted to come up with a witty retort, but all he could think of was the proximity of Chad’s face, the way his body felt pressed against him. He knew that what he was about to do was completely stupid and would probably ruin their friendship forever, but he couldn’t help himself as he started to lean in, bringing his face even closer to Chad’s…
Only to be brought back to reality by a female voice asking, “Are you boys all right?”
“Yea, yea, we’re fine,” said Chad, getting up and offering his hand to help Ryan. “I was teaching Ryan to ice skate.” He was clearly very embarrassed and sounded a bit defensive.
“Yes, I can see that.” replied the woman, whom now Ryan could see was a redhead in her thirties. She had the brightest green eyes Ryan had ever seen, a small dusting of freckles across her nose and looked entirely too amused at their predicament. “Now, unless you’d like to share this particular methodology with the six-year-olds in my next class, I’m afraid your lesson will have to be postponed.” She smiled bemusedly at them, making it very clear she didn’t think skating had been the foremost thing on their minds.
Chad grumbled something underneath his breath, looking even more embarrassed than before. He helped Ryan get out of the ice and started to remove his skates, pausing to wave at the children that had started to arrive and who all seemed to know his name.
As they passed the rink on their way out, the red-headed teacher - who was gliding on the ice, making random pirouettes now and then - waved at them, said goodbye and told Ryan it was a pleasure to finally meet him. Ryan was positive she winked at him when Chad turned his back.
On their way to Ryan’s car (Chad’s had, as usual, refused to cooperate that morning) the blond noticed his friend seemed strangely silent. They climbed in and as Ryan was putting on his seat-belt when he heard Chad say, “Ok, that wasn’t so bad.” And after a deliberate pause, “Well, maybe a bit. But she didn’t mean anything by it, really, mom just likes to tease me.”
“That was your mother?” Ryan asked and immediately regretted it, because he couldn’t have sounded more surprised if he’d tried.
“Yes,” Chad said and thankfully he didn’t look upset, though he smiled a bit oddly. “Couldn’t you tell?” he asked, and chuckled. He’d clearly realized Ryan hadn’t meant anything negative by his outburst. “I do look a lot more like my dad. And you don’t have to worry, he won’t say anything embarrassing. This was just mom’s way of having a little payback for not introducing you guys to each other sooner; she said it was absurd that I’ve been hiding my boyfriend away.”
Ryan was very glad he had not turned the ignition, because he was sure they would have gotten into an accident. “Boyfriend?” he asked, and the disbelieving tone in his voice was more than obvious.
This time Chad didn’t seem to take his reaction all that well. He frowned a bit and looked out at the window.
“Well, I know we haven’t exactly talked about it,” he started a little hesitantly. “But we’ve been going out for about a month and neither of us is seeing anyone else, so I just assumed… I mean, I thought you just wanted to take things slowly.” He took a deep breath and exhaled loudly before turning towards him. “Clearly I have read too much into this.”
“No!” Ryan exclaimed, realizing belatedly that he had been the one to read too little. It hadn’t been his imagination, Chad had been flirting, and their outings had been so peculiar at times because he’d intended them to be dates. “I just… I didn’t think you… I mean, I didn’t expect you to…” He knew he sounded like an idiot, but couldn’t bring himself to really care. “Boyfriend sounds wonderful.” he finally said, staring at Chad’s eyes, trying to convey all the things he seemed unable to share.
Chad seemed to understand him, because he smiled, looking relieved.
“Does this mean you’ll kiss me now?”
OoOoO
Albuquerque International Balloon Fiesta, second week of October
Ryan's jaw dropped and he stared at his boyfriend horrified.
"What do you mean, wait till we're up there? You're not actually expecting us to fly in one of those things?"
Chad laughed. "Of course, we're flying! Why else would I bring you to the Balloon Fiesta?"
"To watch the balloons!" Ryan replied, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Not to try to get us killed!"
"It's perfectly safe," Chad said, dismissing Ryan's concern about their impending demise with a wave of his hand. "My parents and I have been doing this every year since I can remember."
Before Ryan could retort they were spotted by Chad's parents, who were standing beside a blue and white balloon. They were both dressed in jeans and t-shirts, and as they welcomed him Ryan lost all the will to complain. The last thing he wanted was to offend Chad's parents, who had been so great to him these last few weeks. Dr. Danforth always looked glad to see him and Mrs. Danforth seemed very happy to finally have someone with whom she could share her love of musical theater. They'd both been incredibly supportive of the fact that their only son was dating a guy, and Ryan didn't have to ask to know why. He’d noticed the not-so friendly glances some people gave them whenever they showed the least bit of affection for each other in public.
The Danforth's experience with balloons was evident by their speed and ease in preparing things. Much sooner than Ryan would have liked they'd left the safety of the ground towards the open, blue sky. Ryan however, wasn’t enjoying the view, his hands were holding the rim of the basket with such strength that they soon started to hurt. Noticing his grimace, Chad picked them and held them between his own.
"Relax," he said. "You're perfectly safe here with me."
He said it with such conviction that Ryan allowed himself to loosen his grip. He closed his eyes, took a deep breath and when he opened them again finally allowed himself to see. The day was warm and sunny, the sky populated by a myriad of balloons around them. Off to one side he could see Chad's father with his arms around his wife, whispering in her ear and pointing at something off in the endless horizon.
He turned his head to find Chad standing smiling beside him, his curls dancing in the autumn breeze. He looked happy and at ease, as if he could not think of a better place to be. All Ryan wanted right then was to lean over and kiss him.
He did.
Recipient: allyndra.
Title: Five Times Ryan Was Tempted To Kiss Chad (And The One Time He Did).
Pairing(s): Chad/Ryan (mentions of Troy/Gabriela, Sharpay/Zeke, Kelsi/Jason).
Summary: During five different occasions Ryan has been tempted to kiss Chad. On the sixth time, he gives in.
Rating: PG.
Warning(s): None.
Word Count: 4161 words.
Disclaimer: All High School Musical characters herein are the property of Disney. No copyright infringement is intended.
Author's Notes: This was written for allyndra, who asked for “a story where the race and class differences between Chad and Ryan actually matter” and who’d like to see “one of the boys suddenly realizes they've been in love/dating for ages”. I hope this manages to capture a bit of what you wanted.
The places and events mentioned in this story actually exist. As I’ve never been to Albuquerque, their representation is completely fictionalized.
OoOoO
The Staff Baseball Game at Lava Springs, the beginning of summer.
It had been a very long time since Ryan had had so much fun outside of a stage.
There was no Sharpay to direct his steps, no role he was expected to play, besides his own. He was flying high on adrenaline, from the rush of the game, the enthusiastic cheering from the stands, the heat he could feel every time Danforth looked at him.
The score was close, too close for Ryan’s comfort. He wanted to win. He wanted to show them all what he was capable of, to earn their respect. He wanted to prove to Danforth that he was much more than Sharpay’s lackey, a person on his own right, someone worth knowing.
He turned around, ready for the next play, and suddenly found himself face to face with the object of his thoughts. Their eyes met and for a split second, Ryan saw something in the other boy’s gaze - a measure of respect, grudging admiration, a hint of something akin to desire - that made him want to ignore both teams and the dozens of bystanders and simply reach out, pull Danforth towards him and kiss him with all his might.
A particularly enthusiastic cheer from the stands broke the moment, making both boys pull apart. Ryan convinced himself that the look had been a product of his overactive imagination.
He blamed his still racing heart on the physical exertion of the game.
OoOoO
The Cottonwood Mall, Albuquerque, two days before Gabriella’s birthday
Ryan Evans loved to shop.
It was a good thing he did, otherwise he would never have survived so long having Sharpay as a sister; she tended to plan shopping excursions with a ruthlessness and determination most people reserved for particularly hostile takeovers.
This time, however, he didn’t have to worry about being dragged around by his sister. Upon finding out that Ryan wanted to find a gift for Gabriella’s birthday, Sharpay had flat out refused to come and help him. Ryan didn’t complain about it and was actually a little bit relieved; he liked Gabriella and the idea of letting Sharpay choose something she found suitable for the other girl was a little scary.
So here he was, strolling through the largest mall in New Mexico, sure that somewhere the perfect gift was just waiting to be found.
“Hey, Evans,” he heard someone shout.
Ryan turned around to see none other than Chad Danforth coming towards him, wearing a green “Kiss Me, I’m Irish” t-shirt, faded jeans and a pair of sneakers that had once, long ago, been white.
“Hey, Evans,” he said again as he got to Ryan’s side and smiled.
Ryan felt a weird flip-flop feeling inside his belly and berated himself for the large Mint Mocha Chip Frappuccino he had ordered earlier; it clearly hadn’t settled well on his empty stomach.
“Looking for a new hat?” Chad asked and Ryan rolled his eyes. It was clear from the other boy’s tone that he was teasing, not mocking, and he couldn’t help but smile a little despite himself. Ever since the baseball game he and Chad had developed this strange camaraderie that mainly consisted of trading good natured barbs.
“Birthday present for Gabriella,” he said, readjusting the stripped fedora he was sporting today.
“Oh, I just bought it,” Chad said, brandishing a shopping bag from Build-A-Bear Ryan hadn’t noticed before. From it he extracted a small, tawny bear that bore an uncanny resemblance to Troy Bolton, basketball uniform included. “You think she’s gonna like it?” There was a distinct mischievous look sparkling in his eyes.
After agreeing, Ryan asked Chad if he’d like to accompany him in his own shopping expedition. The other boy agreed and they were soon involved in an animated conversation that involved everything from Ryan trying to convince Chad to go see one of the productions of the The American Shakespeare Project (“I get enough of that from Darbus, Evans”) to Chad trying to extract a promise from Ryan about joining the baseball team (“We’ll see”).
After a couple of dead ends, Ryan realized he had struck gold when he saw a jewelry store ahead. He knew Gabriella would refuse to accept a gift if she though he had gone overboard, but he was certain he could find something that would please his discerning taste and not offend her middle class sensibilities.
The saleswoman was very helpful and he quickly narrowed down his choices to two pairings of earrings. He was debating on the merits of green or lilac against her complexion when he noticed the look the saleswoman was directing at Chad, who was staring at the displays on the side, hands inside his pockets. It was not the friendly, “How can I help you today” look she had directed at him the moment he had set foot inside the store; it was a suspicious, “Don’t even think about it, punk” look.
Ryan saw red. He curtly said he couldn’t find what he was looking for and literally dragged Chad out of the store. They walked for a couple of minutes in silence till Ryan felt a warm hand on his shoulder.
He turned, still fuming, and found himself facing Chad’s unusually serious face. At that moment, Ryan realized that the other boy was aware of what had set him off like that.
“Look,” Chad started, before Ryan could think of anything to say. “There are some incredibly stupid people in this world. People that think they know all there is to know about someone just by looking at them. Believe me, I’ve met my share of them and I have a feeling you have too.” Here, Ryan slowly nodded, though he didn’t say anything. “And if there’s one thing I’ve learned, is that you shouldn’t give them the satisfaction of getting to you.”
Ryan wasn’t quite sure of what he saw in Chad’s face at that moment. Not resignation, per se, more of an acknowledgment that the world wasn’t the way he wanted it to be. There was a little bit of sadness as well, but most of all Ryan could see an undercurrent of strength and a determination to, no matter what, hold his head upright.
Ryan felt the sudden desire to lean over and kiss him.
Suppressing his extremely inconvenient hormones, Ryan said, “You know, I’m sure I’ll find something perfect for Gaby at the New Mexico Book Co-Op”. The other boy nodded in agreement and they started to walk in the direction of the bookstore.
Chad’s hand remained on Ryan’s shoulder the entire way.
OoOoO
East High Cafeteria, first day of Senior Year
Despite what other people might think, Ryan was not stupid. He knew, for instance, that while some socialization lines had been crossed over during the summer, this did not mean that things would change when school resumed.
The Wildcats might have been friendly during their time at Lava Springs, but in the end he was still Ryan Evans, co-president of the drama club, Sharpay’s twin brother and quite clearly not one of them. Gabriela, he knew, was just too genuinely sweet to forget about him completely, but he had absolutely no expectations when it came to the others.
So it was with considerable surprise that after the lunch bell rang on the first day of school, Ryan found himself being dragged by Chad (who proclaimed himself to be “starving”) to the cafeteria. There, he was summarily placed in a table with the other Wildcats and apparently expected to eat an enormous hamburger with fries (The carbs! The grease!) and talk about sports.
Ryan couldn’t have felt happier.
No one questioned his presence and thanks to Gabriela and Taylor the conversation branched off to topics other than basketball. From the corner of his eye he could see Sharpay up at their usual seat in the drama club table, wolfing down the pastries a besotted Zeke (who looked very pleased with himself) had baked for her. Across from them a radiant Kelsi was apparently trying to teach a befuddled Jason to read music.
He’d finished half of his hamburger and was about to throw the rest out when Chad (who really had to have been starving considering the way he had inhaled his food) proclaimed it a waste of good food and proceeded to finish it off with gusto.
Ryan supposed he should have thought that was a little disgusting (he was thinking about his half-eaten food after all), but in the end he couldn’t bring himself to. It seemed such an intimate gesture somehow, even if just in a friendly way: stealing food, sharing soda cans, finishing each others leftovers. Ryan had never had anyone he felt comfortably doing this kind of stuff with (Sharpay would have had a fit if she saw him doing something like that) and the idea that Chad felt they were close enough to do so made him happy.
Chad didn’t seem to notice the depth of his thoughts. He finished his burger with a satisfied sight (and a half-disguised burp) and started to talk about his weekend, stopping abruptly at the sound of Ryan’s chuckle.
“You have ketchup on your face,” the blond told him before he could ask what was so funny. Half annoyed, half embarrassed, Chad scrubbed his mouth with the back of his hand - missing the spot completely.
“Here, let me,” said Ryan, who reached out and stroked his thumb over the corner of Chad’s mouth, wiping the red traces away.
It was meant as a simple, friendly gesture, but the moment Chad’s eyes locked into his Ryan felt as if a thousand butterflies were flying inside his belly. And for the first time he knew he couldn’t blame the heat or what he had eaten or whatever else he could have come up with. Chad, it seemed, had the uncanny ability to make him lose touch with reality.
Ryan wondered what would happen if he leaned in and kissed him in the middle of the school cafeteria.
Before he could find out, the moment was broken by Troy, who proceeded to ask Chad about his track and field schedule, oblivious to the fact that Chad and Ryan had jumped away from each other as if electrocuted.
After school, Chad stopped by his desk as if nothing had happened and asked if he wanted to hang out. Ryan was relived, the last thing he wanted was for things to be awkward between them.
If a small part of him was disappointed, he ignored it completely.
OoOoO
Saturday afternoon at the New Mexico State Fair, mid September
Ryan kept having to remind himself that this was not a date. So what if it was not the group outing he had expected when Chad mentioned it to him? It was perfectly normal for two guys to hang out in a platonic way. Why, he and Chad had been doing that a lot since school started; going to movies, watching games on TV, talking in cafes after school.
There was something about this outing, however, that kept fooling Ryan into expecting something more. Perhaps it was the fact that Chad was looking extra nice, as if he'd put some considerable effort into it, or that he had insisted in paying for everything (payback, he said, for the "extra" baseball season ticket Ryan just happened to have available). It might even have been the duck plushie the other boy had won for him at the shooting booth (after eight tries) because he thought it was just perfect for the blond.
It was, however, clearly not a date and Ryan knew he'd better get that straight (oh, the irony!), otherwise he'd end up saying or doing something so stupid he'd never have to worry about another non-date with Chad again.
"So, what do you think of the New Mexico State Fair?" the dark-skinned boy asked him.
Sighing, Ryan admitted that it was fun, knowing that Chad was going to gloat a little. He hadn’t been keen on spending his Saturday at a fair where one of the main attractions was, of all things, a rodeo. He had to admit he was having a great time, though he had the feeling it was more due to the company than to the surroundings. Chad seemed to know just where to steer them and even the more absurd sightings were amusing rather than irritating.
"Oh, let's go on the Ferris Wheel!" exclaimed Chad, pulling Ryan by the hand towards the short cue. "It will be awesome to watch the sunset from up there."
"The Ferris Wheel?" Ryan asked, surprised. That sounded awfully... romantic.
"I love anything that's high off the ground," Chad said by way of an explanation. "You're not afraid of heights are you?"
"Not really," Ryan answered, "It's just that..." and here he paused for a second, trying to think of something to say that wouldn’t give away the true direction of his thoughts. “I was just thinking about the last time I went on a Ferris Wheel."
"When was that?" Chad asked, handing their tickets to the man in charge and ignoring completely the odd stare he gave at seeing two teenage boys climb together on one of the two-person seats.
"A couple of years ago in Vienna," Ryan answered as he settled in. "We had dinner in the one at the Prater."
Chad looked like he wanted to ask about that, but they'd began to move and he was soon preoccupied in admiring the view and pointing things out to Ryan. He seemed completely unconcerned with the fact that his left side was pressed against the blond, or that he had to practically climb on Ryan's lap to point out all he wanted to share. If he didn't know better, Ryan would say that Chad was deliberately trying to get a reaction out of him. He kept touching Ryan, the wild curls of his hair brushing softly against his face. He smelled like the cotton candy they'd eaten earlier and Ryan knew it would be incredibly easy to turn his head just so when Chad moved towards him and find out if he tasted as good as he smelled. He was about to do that when they were interrupted.
"Ok, fellas, time's up," said the man in charge of the ride, and Ryan froze, realizing they had stopped. Had he really been about to kiss Chad?
"So...," Chad started to say as they got out of their seat, looking at him from the corner of his eyes. For a panic-filled moment Ryan thought he was going to get called on the almost kiss. "Wanna go get some hot dogs?"
Ryan laughed, a mixture of relief and disbelief at Chad's seemingly endless appetite. Mentally, he was cursing himself, realizing the extent of the predicament he was in. He finally managed to find a guy that genuinely wanted to be friends with him and he had to ruin it by getting a crush on him.
He’d be smart about it, he decided as they walked towards the hot dog stand, ignore it as best as he could and try hard to maintain his friendship with Chad. He meant too much to him to let a stupid crush get in the way.
By the time Chad had dropped him off at home, strangely silent, Ryan had almost managed to convince himself.
OoOoO
Ice Skating lessons at the Outpost Ice Arena, last week of September
When Ryan casually mentioned he had never ice skated, Chad had been appalled. Ryan couldn’t really blame him; it was something he had always meant to do, but never had had the time to try. Most of his free time was spent concentrating on acting and dancing, and his foray into winter sports consisted solely of his family’s annual trip to their ski lodge.
He’d always thought he’d get around to it eventually, put every time his family went to New York during the right months the lure of Broadway always turned out to be superior to the one exerted by the Rockefeller Center. He certainly had never expected to have his first experience like this; sneaking around an ice skate rink with Chad Danforth, who was determined to teach him how to skate.
Half an hour later Ryan had convinced himself this had been a devious plan on Chad’s part to humiliate him completely. He hadn’t managed to stay upright for more than a couple of seconds at a time and he was sure that by now he was black and blue all over.
To his credit, Chad hadn’t laughed once. He had been extremely patient, helping Ryan get up each and every time and offering much needed encouragement. For a guy who claimed he did not dance, Chad had an innate grace that utterly surprised Ryan. He glided effortlessly across the ice, as if he had been born wearing a pair of skates. When Ryan told him this, he merely shrugged and said he’d been skating since he was three.
Though he knew there was no way he could ever compete with Chad’s skills, Ryan refused to give up. He tried once more and to his surprise managed to move forward several feet without losing his balance.
“Yes!” he shouted, “I think I finally got the hang of this.”
But as soon as the words left his mouth, his precious equilibrium disappeared and he slipped, grabbing Chad, who had just reached him, on his way down and tumbling them both on the ice.
Wincing at the newly formed bump on his head, Ryan turned his face around to apologize for his clumsiness, only to find Chad shaking with suppressed laughter. That, of course, set Ryan off as well and soon they were both laughing freely, still lying on the ice.
“You know, I’m really glad you are here with me,” Chad told him when their laughter finally stopped, “Even though you kinda suck at this.”
Ryan wanted to come up with a witty retort, but all he could think of was the proximity of Chad’s face, the way his body felt pressed against him. He knew that what he was about to do was completely stupid and would probably ruin their friendship forever, but he couldn’t help himself as he started to lean in, bringing his face even closer to Chad’s…
Only to be brought back to reality by a female voice asking, “Are you boys all right?”
“Yea, yea, we’re fine,” said Chad, getting up and offering his hand to help Ryan. “I was teaching Ryan to ice skate.” He was clearly very embarrassed and sounded a bit defensive.
“Yes, I can see that.” replied the woman, whom now Ryan could see was a redhead in her thirties. She had the brightest green eyes Ryan had ever seen, a small dusting of freckles across her nose and looked entirely too amused at their predicament. “Now, unless you’d like to share this particular methodology with the six-year-olds in my next class, I’m afraid your lesson will have to be postponed.” She smiled bemusedly at them, making it very clear she didn’t think skating had been the foremost thing on their minds.
Chad grumbled something underneath his breath, looking even more embarrassed than before. He helped Ryan get out of the ice and started to remove his skates, pausing to wave at the children that had started to arrive and who all seemed to know his name.
As they passed the rink on their way out, the red-headed teacher - who was gliding on the ice, making random pirouettes now and then - waved at them, said goodbye and told Ryan it was a pleasure to finally meet him. Ryan was positive she winked at him when Chad turned his back.
On their way to Ryan’s car (Chad’s had, as usual, refused to cooperate that morning) the blond noticed his friend seemed strangely silent. They climbed in and as Ryan was putting on his seat-belt when he heard Chad say, “Ok, that wasn’t so bad.” And after a deliberate pause, “Well, maybe a bit. But she didn’t mean anything by it, really, mom just likes to tease me.”
“That was your mother?” Ryan asked and immediately regretted it, because he couldn’t have sounded more surprised if he’d tried.
“Yes,” Chad said and thankfully he didn’t look upset, though he smiled a bit oddly. “Couldn’t you tell?” he asked, and chuckled. He’d clearly realized Ryan hadn’t meant anything negative by his outburst. “I do look a lot more like my dad. And you don’t have to worry, he won’t say anything embarrassing. This was just mom’s way of having a little payback for not introducing you guys to each other sooner; she said it was absurd that I’ve been hiding my boyfriend away.”
Ryan was very glad he had not turned the ignition, because he was sure they would have gotten into an accident. “Boyfriend?” he asked, and the disbelieving tone in his voice was more than obvious.
This time Chad didn’t seem to take his reaction all that well. He frowned a bit and looked out at the window.
“Well, I know we haven’t exactly talked about it,” he started a little hesitantly. “But we’ve been going out for about a month and neither of us is seeing anyone else, so I just assumed… I mean, I thought you just wanted to take things slowly.” He took a deep breath and exhaled loudly before turning towards him. “Clearly I have read too much into this.”
“No!” Ryan exclaimed, realizing belatedly that he had been the one to read too little. It hadn’t been his imagination, Chad had been flirting, and their outings had been so peculiar at times because he’d intended them to be dates. “I just… I didn’t think you… I mean, I didn’t expect you to…” He knew he sounded like an idiot, but couldn’t bring himself to really care. “Boyfriend sounds wonderful.” he finally said, staring at Chad’s eyes, trying to convey all the things he seemed unable to share.
Chad seemed to understand him, because he smiled, looking relieved.
“Does this mean you’ll kiss me now?”
OoOoO
Albuquerque International Balloon Fiesta, second week of October
Ryan's jaw dropped and he stared at his boyfriend horrified.
"What do you mean, wait till we're up there? You're not actually expecting us to fly in one of those things?"
Chad laughed. "Of course, we're flying! Why else would I bring you to the Balloon Fiesta?"
"To watch the balloons!" Ryan replied, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Not to try to get us killed!"
"It's perfectly safe," Chad said, dismissing Ryan's concern about their impending demise with a wave of his hand. "My parents and I have been doing this every year since I can remember."
Before Ryan could retort they were spotted by Chad's parents, who were standing beside a blue and white balloon. They were both dressed in jeans and t-shirts, and as they welcomed him Ryan lost all the will to complain. The last thing he wanted was to offend Chad's parents, who had been so great to him these last few weeks. Dr. Danforth always looked glad to see him and Mrs. Danforth seemed very happy to finally have someone with whom she could share her love of musical theater. They'd both been incredibly supportive of the fact that their only son was dating a guy, and Ryan didn't have to ask to know why. He’d noticed the not-so friendly glances some people gave them whenever they showed the least bit of affection for each other in public.
The Danforth's experience with balloons was evident by their speed and ease in preparing things. Much sooner than Ryan would have liked they'd left the safety of the ground towards the open, blue sky. Ryan however, wasn’t enjoying the view, his hands were holding the rim of the basket with such strength that they soon started to hurt. Noticing his grimace, Chad picked them and held them between his own.
"Relax," he said. "You're perfectly safe here with me."
He said it with such conviction that Ryan allowed himself to loosen his grip. He closed his eyes, took a deep breath and when he opened them again finally allowed himself to see. The day was warm and sunny, the sky populated by a myriad of balloons around them. Off to one side he could see Chad's father with his arms around his wife, whispering in her ear and pointing at something off in the endless horizon.
He turned his head to find Chad standing smiling beside him, his curls dancing in the autumn breeze. He looked happy and at ease, as if he could not think of a better place to be. All Ryan wanted right then was to lean over and kiss him.
He did.