Comments | swirlscape: Nature is not merciful.

swirlscape

Nature is not merciful.

Jun 09, 2007 13:06

It was hard for me to learn that cfkitty passed away a couple days ago. I haven't known what to say about it. I have felt a shadow of pain and loss, and sympathy for her friends and family.

I learned of her through another cystic fibrosis livejournaler, 65redroses, a few weeks ago. She was adorable and enthralling to read, but her health took a serious turn for ( Read more... )

Comments 9

fragilemuse June 9 2007, 21:01:09 UTC

i came across her journal about a month or so ago, when she was still well enough to travel around a bit. she looked so radiant in her photos with her friends at the park. very sad to hear that she is gone now. :(

swirlscape June 10 2007, 02:29:39 UTC

Yeah, me too. She did look very radiant and sparkly. She had a very bright spirit.

anthalus June 10 2007, 02:27:50 UTC

I can't believe that I know this, but they now do hip replacement surgeries for cats...

swirlscape June 10 2007, 02:32:28 UTC

That's pretty cool. I think Fishbone is really old and his owners don't seem too concerned about him, so I don't think that's in his future. It is frustrating to wonder whether there was something that could have been done, but damnit, it's just postponing the inevitable with a lot of pain and damage to an already weak little body.

He seemed so vibrant just a year ago. I hate how fast cats age. I hate that everything ages and dies so quickly. I understand that death is necessary. I just wish the parts leading up to it weren't so painful. Isn't the death itself bad enough?

anthalus June 10 2007, 02:54:35 UTC

Hmmmmm see I don't see death as being a bad thing. Might be the Taoist in me...

65redroses June 10 2007, 10:24:42 UTC

yeah.....steph passing was tough but to tell the truth it was the weeks before it that i found harder. it was hard to figure out what was really going on as she was no longer able to update her LJ herself and relied on family members to keep us up to date. but all of her family members (who i sympathize with deeply) are seeing things from different angles and it was sometimes hard to figure out what was really happening ( ... )

swirlscape June 10 2007, 17:41:59 UTC

That all makes sense, yeah. It's hard to know what's right or wrong in these situations - it all seemed wrong to me. I think things get confused when such a bright, beautiful creature is dying. I'm glad that the process was not totally in vain - I'm sure you and I aren't the only ones to have witnessed the process and learned from it. That is a gift, I think. I personally, if I found myself unable to breathe with my family begging me, would probably agree to be ventilated as well - but then, I don't feel like I really know what that means. Maybe I wouldn't if I knew all the ramifications.

I hope that she got your package - I remember you talking about that when she first talked about going to hospice. I'm glad that her light still burns bright in your heart, and Kina's, and so many other admirers of hers.

ethernight June 10 2007, 23:26:32 UTC

Reading 65redrosess comment about the end, I count myself very lucky that Jamie went so quickly and easily. She denied hospice vehemently, determined to live out every second of her life that she had and never give up. (She also vehemently opposed transplant -- not saying she was the most logical girl on the world.) She denied that the end was near, even though it was obvious by her actions that she was preparing for it. And when the end came, it came peacefully in her sleep, in her own house, in her own bed, surrounded by her cats and her family.

For Jamie, CF made her the amazing person that she was in so many ways, even as it stole her away. She lived her life as though any moment may be her last, and damned the consequences. Because, she always knew, from the time she was a child that any moment could be her last. It carved her into a beautiful combination of strength, fierce will and an unwavering devotion to hedonism ( ... )

swirlscape June 11 2007, 00:34:57 UTC

I remember Jamie's passing, shortly after I found your journal, and how peaceful and quickly it happened. She was so beautiful, and I'm noticing what you're talking about when I come across these girls - there is something about CF that makes them more amazing. They embrace life with abandon, they are expressive and glowing, they shine and they laugh and they play like humans ought to. They are made into something more by their mortality being so undeniable, I think. I call them warrior princesses. There is something beautiful, if not also heartbreaking, about it. They are irresistable to me for that; for their beauty and their tenacity and strength in the face of such a merciless disease.