"A Girl Named Alex" Installment 3
TItle: A GIrl Named Alex
Author: jenfrommars
Rating: Pg-13 for some swearing
Characters: Alistair, f!noble(Orlesian), Morrigan, Sten, Oghren, Leliana, and a bunch of other Orlesians
Summary: The rebellious daughter of a noble Arl from Orlais is recruited into the Grey Wardens under a false identity. Romance and gender confusion ensue. Romantic/Comedy/WTF
Yay! I did it. I tried really hard this week to push this chapter out before the weekend and I'm so happy I did :) Seeing as how I'll be away camping this weekend, I'll only be on LJ through my phone so I made it a point to get this chapter posted. Don't worry, though, I'll be writing while I'm gone. Enjoy.
“Join us, brothers and sisters. Join us in the shadows where we stand vigilant. Join us as we carry the duty that cannot be forsworn. And should you perish, know that your sacrifice shall not be forgotten and that one day, we shall join you.”
~
That night, Alexis finally became the Grey Warden she’d risked so much to become.
And that night, Ostagar fell to the darkspawn. Duncan and King Cailan fought on the front line with their soldiers and both were slaughtered.
That night three months ago still burned vividly in Alexis’ mind. She sat by the fire, watching the flames twirl and rise in silence. The group had just recently returned from Orzammar and everyone was exhausted. Alistair, Leliana, Sten, and Oghren had all retired to their tents and had given in to sleep. Only Alexis and Morrigan remained awake. It was late and the moon sat high in the sky but Alexis refused to sleep. All day they traveled by foot and it was painful, draining, and slow. This was one of the rare moments Alexis could get to herself and there was much on her mind.
But, of course, the Grey Warden couldn’t remain at peace for long as Morrigan meandered over to the fire and sat down beside Alexis. For a few moments, the two said nothing, but eventually the witch broke the silence.
“Do you recall our first encounters in the wilds?” Morrigan asked.
“Yes” Alexis replied quietly.
Indeed she did. Alexis, Alistair, Ser Jory, and Daveth had first met Morrigan when they entered the Kokari Wilds in search of the ancient treaties at Duncan’s request. Alexis had introduced herself as Alex, a young man from Orlais. The false identity was necessary to her success as a warden and both Morrigan and Flemeth fell for the disguise. But the second time Alexis and the witch of the wilds crossed paths, things were much different.
Loghain sentenced the King and all others at Ostagar to death when he retreated. And had it not been for Morrigan and her mother, Alexis and Alistair would have perished too. The Tower of Ishal was overrun with Darkspawn and the two Grey Wardens were caught off-guard. Arrows struck them both and they fell unconscious. When Alexis awoke, she was inside a musty hut, the fireplace alight and a young woman thumbing through old books. Alexis rose slowly and looked herself over. She was in her small clothes and she could see no- her eyes grew wide. She stood there, nearly half naked, clearly a woman. Morrigan put down the book she was currently reading and walked over to Alexis. The warden sat back down on the bed and hid her face in her hands.
“T’woud appear you are not the man you claimed to be before.” Morrigan said softly. Alexis exhaled heavily and lowered her hands to look at Morrigan. The witch did not appear angry, simply confused.
“No. I am no man.” Alexis replied, her voice shaking. It was then that she revealed all to Morrigan. The witch listened attentively as Alexis explained her animosity towards her father and her desire to prove him wrong. That desire had fueled her actions and made her bold and so she disguised herself as a man to join the Grey Wardens. But once she did, it was nothing like she’d dreamt; there was so much violence, pain, and betrayal- nothing like the glory she’d heard so much about. All of this, she confided in Morrigan.
“Does your mother know?” Alexis asked.
‘No, Flemeth is unaware of you true…identity.” Morrigan replied.
“Good.” Alexis said quietly. “Alistair cannot know either. Please, keep this between you and I.” she pleaded. Morrigan nodded in agreement, her unusually yellow eyes holding a look of sympathy.
“You have my word,” the witch stated, “I will keep this a secret for you.”
Yes, Alexis remembered those days quite clearly. For now, Morrigan was the only member of the group that knew Alexis as a woman; Alistair, Sten, Leliana, and Oghren all saw Alex, a man.
“How long do you think you can keep them fooled?” Morrigan asked, keeping her eyes on the fire. Alexis turned to face her but the witch did not break her stare.
“Eventually, they will know. Either you will end up telling them or they will find out somehow.” T’is not a charade that can be kept up forever.” Morrigan added. Alexis looked at her friend, then back at the fire.
“I honestly don’t know. I suppose only until this is over, then I can return to Orlais.” said Alexis. Morrigan turned suddenly and looked the Orlesian Warden in the eyes.
“I doubt your father will welcome you home with such open arms. I am…concerned, Alexis.” she started. “I see the way you look at Alistair, and there is no denying the attraction you feel towards him. I cannot stand the imbecile but you…you are key to all of this. If you are not careful, your secret may very well be revealed prematurely and all we are working for may fall apart.”
“I- yes. I know. I’m in no position to seek companionship, especially at such an important time as this.” Alexis replied.
“Though many wouldn’t believe it, I do not wish to see things spiral out of you control.” Morrigan stated as she stood up and walked back to her tent at the far end of camp.
Alexis remained quietly at the fire, thinking over what Morrigan had said. She didn’t want to blow her cover but Alistair had perked her interest since day one. Her natural attraction to him began only with her fetish for blonde hair and silly day dreams but Alexis saw him differently now. He was no longer just ‘the blonde warden from Ostagar’; Alistair had become a dear friend to Alexis. He was witty, encouraging, an incredible warrior, and a decent enough cook. He’d shown Alexis that even during a Blight, good men could be found, even if he was simply being himself. The younger warden battled her own mind countless times, trying to suppress the blossoming feelings she had for the ex-templar-warden, but it was still and ongoing battle. They’d known each other for only three months and he was under the impression that she was a man. A man for Andraste’s sake!
Enough, Alexis scolded herself. She stood up and put out the fire, then entered her tent for the night.
~
“I demand an explanation!” Arl Mardeux slammed his fist down onto a table in the study. “Your men have been out searching for three months. Three months! And you return here empty handed? I will not tolerate this; I want my daughter returned home and I want her kidnapper’s head on a silver plate, delivered straight to me!” he said through gritted teeth. A Knight Commander in grey armor steeped forward and tried to calm the Arl.
“Your lordship, we’ve traveled to nearly all the other estates in Orlais. I’m afraid your daughter and her kidnapper are no longer in this country…” The Arl stared at the man with wide, furious eyes as the room fell silent for several minutes.
“Bring me Ser Oliver Rivard.” he eventually said. The knight left the room in a hurry and returned hastily with Oliver.
“Ser Rivard, you and my daughter were close, this I know. It has come to my attention that wherever my daughter had been taken to, it is not anywhere in Orlais. I want you to lead a search party for her in Ferelden. I want Alexis and her capturers brought back to me. Do you understand?” the Arl spoke briskly. Oliver watched him with tired eyes and responded swiftly.
“Yes, sire.” He then left the study and went about gathering fellow soldiers to add to his search party.
Oliver had been the one to discover Alexis’ disappearance. At first, he was consumed by fear. Numerous nights he’d lay in bed, wide awake, his mind tormenting him by conjuring up nightmarish images of what may have happened to her. He was drained of energy, sleep evaded him every night for two months and his appetite was all but lost. For many days, his eyes were bloodshot as fear was replaced by heartache. Alexis was his closest friend and he’d begun to fall in love with her, then out of nowhere she was taken form him. He longed to have her next to him again, the gentle scent of her fine bath soaps filling the air around the two of them. He longed to simply see her alive, her delicate, sun-kissed face still glowing. Many late nights he found himself standing in the doorway to her bedroom, taking in the familiar surroundings. He could almost picture her in front of the vanity mirror or on the windowsill and he could just barely hear her sweet voice echo within the room, but in a moment it was all gone. He was nothing more now than a shell of himself and his thoughts were consumed only by Alexis. So, when given orders to search for her, Oliver set out eagerly the next morning for Ferelden with seven other well trained knights.
~
Alexis awoke late the next morning. Sunlight illuminated her entire tent as if she slept out in the open. She laid there for a few minutes listening to everyone chat outside when the door to her tent flew open. Alexis pulled her blanket over her chest with incredible speed so as to hide herself as Leliana poked her head into the tent.
“Rise and shine my friend, it’s nearly noon. Can’t keep the darkspawn waiting!” she cooed with a ridiculous smile on her face.
“I-yes. I’m up, I’ll be right out.” Alexis replied sleepily. The Grey Warden sat up straight and ran her fingers though her hair. I need a trim she sighed before folding up her bedroll. Afterwards, she moved slowly to put on her armor, not wanting to leave the warm comfort of her tent. She picked up the white scarf she’d taken from her home in Orlais and wrapped it around her chest to conceal her breasts as she always did. Day after day, she performed the same rituals to conceal her femininity: deepening her voice constantly- effectively tearing her throat to shreds- and flattening her chest with this wrap- constantly building pressure onto her torso and threatening her breathing in times of heavy combat. One piece at a time, Alexis dawned her chain mail and once finished, stepped out of her tent.
It was a stunning day, rare this close to the Frostback Mountains and warmer than usual. Breakfast had already been finished but Alexis didn’t mind. Leliana ran up to the young warden and ruffled her hair.
“My my Alex, you look like a shaggy dog.” the cloister sister joked.
“Yes, it’s been a while since I’ve done anything with my hair.” Alexis replied in a deep voice. “I guess I’m due for a trim.”
“Well then, I suppose it’s up to me to clean you up.” Leliana said cheerfully, pulling out her dagger a little too enthusiastically. Alexis smiled and opened her mouth to speak when she was grabbed by the arm.
“I’m afraid I need to borrow him first, Leliana.” Alistair broke in, tugging at his fellow warden’s arm.
“Oh? What for?” the red-headed rogue questioned the ex-templar.
“Official Grey Warden business, I’m afraid. Strictly confidential.” Alistair joked.
“Hmph, very well…” Leliana pouted as Alistair and Alexis walked to the junior warden’s tent. Alexis felt Morrigan watching the two of them carefully but didn’t bother to look at her. After all, Alexis herself didn’t know what Alistair wanted. Still, the witch moved in closer as the two wardens entered Alistair’s tent.
His was nearly identical to that of Alexis’, save for the miniature golem and warrior statuettes by his bedroll. From his pack, the blonde warden brought out a sizable scroll and unrolled it on the ground before them; it was an old map. The edges were torn but the body of it was still in tact, diagramming the various parts of Ferelden.
“I figured we might at well lay out our plans lest we end up lost.” Alistair said, studying the map. Alexis say down beside him and looked over all of the locations of the country. Of course she’d heard of Denerim- the Heart of Ferelden- but many other cities and locations were completely foreign to her. Alistair took a good portion of time navigating over the map and explaining the significance of the numerous locations to Alexis and their worth to the country as a whole. It wasn’t a specifically crucial lecture, but the Orlesian warden enjoyed the time as she watched Alistair speak with admiration.
“Now, we have the treaties for the Circle of Magi, the Dwarves of Orzammar-which we’ve already enacted- and the Dalish Elves.” he said, laying the treaties on their respective locations on the map.
“What makes most sense to me is to go to the Circle Tower.” Alexis stated.
“Why?” Alistair questioned.
“Well, it’s the closest from where we are…” said Alexis, pointing to the tower labeled on the map.
“But what about Arl Eamon?” Alistair broke in. “If what Ser Donall said is true, he may be dying for all we know. I can’t just ignore that- we can’t just ignore that.”
“I have no intention of ignoring it, my plan is to find a way to possibly help him while we fulfill other goals. If the mages honor their treaty, we’ll have access to magic-healing magic at that and we may be able to save him that way.” Alexis explained, putting her hand down on a place labeled “Redcliffe Village” on the map.
“And what about in the mean time? It’ll take us at least ten days to walk to the Lake Calenhad Docks and who knows how much longer to actually get to the Tower. What if he gets sicker while we’re chasing after mages? I strongly suggest we go to Redcliffe.” Alistair states, putting his hand down onto of the city on the map and, as well, on top of Alexis’ hand.
The younger warden immediately looked up at Alistair. His eyes were just as wide as hers and he held a perplexed look on his face. Alexis felt the hot tinge of embarrassment snake its way through her body, making her blush. Alistair, however, looked mortified and no gentle hue of pink graced his cheeks. The ex-templar gritted his teeth in discomfort before ripping his hand away. Alexis then did the same and tore her gaze away from Alistair, choosing instead to focus on the map.
“The Circle Tower it is, then.” the blonde haired warden said, clearing his throat. “We’ll head off tomorrow morning. That is, if you can get up in time.” he added with a nervous half-smile.
“I think I can manage.” Alexis smiled back. “…Leliana owes me a haircut, if you’ll excuse me.” she added as she rose to her feet.
“Alright.” Alistair replied. As Alexis left his tent, he rolled up the map and placed it back in his pack. He sat inside the tent in silence, mumbling to himself while examining his hand. The Grey Warden’s heart pounded in his ears and his stomach began to churn. A nauseous feeling radiated from his abdomen yet at the same time there was a soft tickle about his chest. Alex’s hand had felt so silky and inviting underneath his but…he was a man.
“Maker’s breath, what it he comes on to me?” Alistair mumbled. “What if he thinks I enjoyed it? I didn’t, I didn’t enjoy it. If he comes near me I’ll, I’ll…run him through with my…sword. No! Shield. Yes, my shield.” the warden argued with himself. Finally, he ceased his rambling and exited the tent with his hand to his forehead.
Leliana bounded excitedly up to Alexis as she walked briskly away form Alistair’s tent.
“It would seem your ‘Grey Warden business’ is taken care of now. Come, let me rid you of that mop on your head.” the cloister sister said enthusiastically.
“Yes, please.” Alexis replied, keeping her voice deep, as always.
The two friends strolled to a corner of the camp that held a fallen tree. Alexis glanced over her should just in time to see Alistair leaving the confines of his tent, obviously distressed. A pang of guilt for confusing the blonde warden pricked Alexis but Leliana’s melodic voice shifted her attention.
“Come, sit.” the Orlesian rogue motioned, patting her hand on the fallen tree. Alexis took a seat and Leliana brought out her small dagger. She worked swiftly with the blade and rotated around the warden in a complete circle. Alexis allowed her eyes to focus on Alistair at the center of camp. Small tufts of crimson hair floated down around the Orlesian warden as she took in the sight of him.
Clearly, what had happened between the two of them in his tent had confused him to no end. Alexis could almost read his lips as he mumbled aimlessly to himself. She knew that what had occurred was against his Chantry teachings but, in truth, was it really so wrong in the Maker’s eyes? After all, Alex was really Alexis- a woman- and the Maker knew that. Therefore, Alexis reasoned with herself, there’s nothing wrong with what happened. But Alistair didn’t know any of this; he was being persecuted by his own morals and beliefs for something he believed, falsely, was an act against the Maker himself. That was what was wrong about the whole thing; Alistair’s mental anguish was brought on by her actions when they, if it were not for Alexis’ disguise, never should have upset him. He needed not feel the way he did, but he had not idea.
“There! All done. I must say, you look very handsome with a proper haircut.” Leliana mused aloud. “No more shaggy split-ends for you.”
“Indeed, you did an excellent job.” Alexis said as she admired herself in a small mirror that Leliana handed her. The rogue skipped around her warden friend happily as they traveled back to camp.
“Everyone, come look!” Leliana cried out, dragging Alexis to the center of their camp. Reluctantly, the other party members gathered around the two. Alistair stood across from the pair making sure not to make eye contact with Alexis. Morrigan positioned herself next to Alexis, giving her a curious yet frustrated look. Oghren meandered over to the others on unsteady legs, obviously drunk. Sten stood calmly next to Alistair, a look of annoyance across his dark, sunken face.
“Doesn’t our dear warden look magnificent?” Leliana gushed over her work. “Fine Orlesian daggers always make for clean cuts and I must say Alex looks much better now.” she continued, then clapped her hands, encouraging the other to join in.
Alexis applauded herself awkwardly next to Leliana. Morrigan rolled her eyes but joined in anyways as Oghren smacked his hands together, nearly knocking himself over in the attempt. Even Sten let out a few- 2- stony claps before losing interest. Alexis’ attention turned then to Alistair, who was not clapping. He stared at her with harsh eyes, his arms folded across his chest. No goofy smile parted his lips as usual and Alexis felt her stomach drop as he turned his back to the group and silently walked away.
Author: jenfrommars
Rating: Pg-13 for some swearing
Characters: Alistair, f!noble(Orlesian), Morrigan, Sten, Oghren, Leliana, and a bunch of other Orlesians
Summary: The rebellious daughter of a noble Arl from Orlais is recruited into the Grey Wardens under a false identity. Romance and gender confusion ensue. Romantic/Comedy/WTF
Yay! I did it. I tried really hard this week to push this chapter out before the weekend and I'm so happy I did :) Seeing as how I'll be away camping this weekend, I'll only be on LJ through my phone so I made it a point to get this chapter posted. Don't worry, though, I'll be writing while I'm gone. Enjoy.
“Join us, brothers and sisters. Join us in the shadows where we stand vigilant. Join us as we carry the duty that cannot be forsworn. And should you perish, know that your sacrifice shall not be forgotten and that one day, we shall join you.”
~
That night, Alexis finally became the Grey Warden she’d risked so much to become.
And that night, Ostagar fell to the darkspawn. Duncan and King Cailan fought on the front line with their soldiers and both were slaughtered.
That night three months ago still burned vividly in Alexis’ mind. She sat by the fire, watching the flames twirl and rise in silence. The group had just recently returned from Orzammar and everyone was exhausted. Alistair, Leliana, Sten, and Oghren had all retired to their tents and had given in to sleep. Only Alexis and Morrigan remained awake. It was late and the moon sat high in the sky but Alexis refused to sleep. All day they traveled by foot and it was painful, draining, and slow. This was one of the rare moments Alexis could get to herself and there was much on her mind.
But, of course, the Grey Warden couldn’t remain at peace for long as Morrigan meandered over to the fire and sat down beside Alexis. For a few moments, the two said nothing, but eventually the witch broke the silence.
“Do you recall our first encounters in the wilds?” Morrigan asked.
“Yes” Alexis replied quietly.
Indeed she did. Alexis, Alistair, Ser Jory, and Daveth had first met Morrigan when they entered the Kokari Wilds in search of the ancient treaties at Duncan’s request. Alexis had introduced herself as Alex, a young man from Orlais. The false identity was necessary to her success as a warden and both Morrigan and Flemeth fell for the disguise. But the second time Alexis and the witch of the wilds crossed paths, things were much different.
Loghain sentenced the King and all others at Ostagar to death when he retreated. And had it not been for Morrigan and her mother, Alexis and Alistair would have perished too. The Tower of Ishal was overrun with Darkspawn and the two Grey Wardens were caught off-guard. Arrows struck them both and they fell unconscious. When Alexis awoke, she was inside a musty hut, the fireplace alight and a young woman thumbing through old books. Alexis rose slowly and looked herself over. She was in her small clothes and she could see no- her eyes grew wide. She stood there, nearly half naked, clearly a woman. Morrigan put down the book she was currently reading and walked over to Alexis. The warden sat back down on the bed and hid her face in her hands.
“T’woud appear you are not the man you claimed to be before.” Morrigan said softly. Alexis exhaled heavily and lowered her hands to look at Morrigan. The witch did not appear angry, simply confused.
“No. I am no man.” Alexis replied, her voice shaking. It was then that she revealed all to Morrigan. The witch listened attentively as Alexis explained her animosity towards her father and her desire to prove him wrong. That desire had fueled her actions and made her bold and so she disguised herself as a man to join the Grey Wardens. But once she did, it was nothing like she’d dreamt; there was so much violence, pain, and betrayal- nothing like the glory she’d heard so much about. All of this, she confided in Morrigan.
“Does your mother know?” Alexis asked.
‘No, Flemeth is unaware of you true…identity.” Morrigan replied.
“Good.” Alexis said quietly. “Alistair cannot know either. Please, keep this between you and I.” she pleaded. Morrigan nodded in agreement, her unusually yellow eyes holding a look of sympathy.
“You have my word,” the witch stated, “I will keep this a secret for you.”
Yes, Alexis remembered those days quite clearly. For now, Morrigan was the only member of the group that knew Alexis as a woman; Alistair, Sten, Leliana, and Oghren all saw Alex, a man.
“How long do you think you can keep them fooled?” Morrigan asked, keeping her eyes on the fire. Alexis turned to face her but the witch did not break her stare.
“Eventually, they will know. Either you will end up telling them or they will find out somehow.” T’is not a charade that can be kept up forever.” Morrigan added. Alexis looked at her friend, then back at the fire.
“I honestly don’t know. I suppose only until this is over, then I can return to Orlais.” said Alexis. Morrigan turned suddenly and looked the Orlesian Warden in the eyes.
“I doubt your father will welcome you home with such open arms. I am…concerned, Alexis.” she started. “I see the way you look at Alistair, and there is no denying the attraction you feel towards him. I cannot stand the imbecile but you…you are key to all of this. If you are not careful, your secret may very well be revealed prematurely and all we are working for may fall apart.”
“I- yes. I know. I’m in no position to seek companionship, especially at such an important time as this.” Alexis replied.
“Though many wouldn’t believe it, I do not wish to see things spiral out of you control.” Morrigan stated as she stood up and walked back to her tent at the far end of camp.
Alexis remained quietly at the fire, thinking over what Morrigan had said. She didn’t want to blow her cover but Alistair had perked her interest since day one. Her natural attraction to him began only with her fetish for blonde hair and silly day dreams but Alexis saw him differently now. He was no longer just ‘the blonde warden from Ostagar’; Alistair had become a dear friend to Alexis. He was witty, encouraging, an incredible warrior, and a decent enough cook. He’d shown Alexis that even during a Blight, good men could be found, even if he was simply being himself. The younger warden battled her own mind countless times, trying to suppress the blossoming feelings she had for the ex-templar-warden, but it was still and ongoing battle. They’d known each other for only three months and he was under the impression that she was a man. A man for Andraste’s sake!
Enough, Alexis scolded herself. She stood up and put out the fire, then entered her tent for the night.
~
“I demand an explanation!” Arl Mardeux slammed his fist down onto a table in the study. “Your men have been out searching for three months. Three months! And you return here empty handed? I will not tolerate this; I want my daughter returned home and I want her kidnapper’s head on a silver plate, delivered straight to me!” he said through gritted teeth. A Knight Commander in grey armor steeped forward and tried to calm the Arl.
“Your lordship, we’ve traveled to nearly all the other estates in Orlais. I’m afraid your daughter and her kidnapper are no longer in this country…” The Arl stared at the man with wide, furious eyes as the room fell silent for several minutes.
“Bring me Ser Oliver Rivard.” he eventually said. The knight left the room in a hurry and returned hastily with Oliver.
“Ser Rivard, you and my daughter were close, this I know. It has come to my attention that wherever my daughter had been taken to, it is not anywhere in Orlais. I want you to lead a search party for her in Ferelden. I want Alexis and her capturers brought back to me. Do you understand?” the Arl spoke briskly. Oliver watched him with tired eyes and responded swiftly.
“Yes, sire.” He then left the study and went about gathering fellow soldiers to add to his search party.
Oliver had been the one to discover Alexis’ disappearance. At first, he was consumed by fear. Numerous nights he’d lay in bed, wide awake, his mind tormenting him by conjuring up nightmarish images of what may have happened to her. He was drained of energy, sleep evaded him every night for two months and his appetite was all but lost. For many days, his eyes were bloodshot as fear was replaced by heartache. Alexis was his closest friend and he’d begun to fall in love with her, then out of nowhere she was taken form him. He longed to have her next to him again, the gentle scent of her fine bath soaps filling the air around the two of them. He longed to simply see her alive, her delicate, sun-kissed face still glowing. Many late nights he found himself standing in the doorway to her bedroom, taking in the familiar surroundings. He could almost picture her in front of the vanity mirror or on the windowsill and he could just barely hear her sweet voice echo within the room, but in a moment it was all gone. He was nothing more now than a shell of himself and his thoughts were consumed only by Alexis. So, when given orders to search for her, Oliver set out eagerly the next morning for Ferelden with seven other well trained knights.
~
Alexis awoke late the next morning. Sunlight illuminated her entire tent as if she slept out in the open. She laid there for a few minutes listening to everyone chat outside when the door to her tent flew open. Alexis pulled her blanket over her chest with incredible speed so as to hide herself as Leliana poked her head into the tent.
“Rise and shine my friend, it’s nearly noon. Can’t keep the darkspawn waiting!” she cooed with a ridiculous smile on her face.
“I-yes. I’m up, I’ll be right out.” Alexis replied sleepily. The Grey Warden sat up straight and ran her fingers though her hair. I need a trim she sighed before folding up her bedroll. Afterwards, she moved slowly to put on her armor, not wanting to leave the warm comfort of her tent. She picked up the white scarf she’d taken from her home in Orlais and wrapped it around her chest to conceal her breasts as she always did. Day after day, she performed the same rituals to conceal her femininity: deepening her voice constantly- effectively tearing her throat to shreds- and flattening her chest with this wrap- constantly building pressure onto her torso and threatening her breathing in times of heavy combat. One piece at a time, Alexis dawned her chain mail and once finished, stepped out of her tent.
It was a stunning day, rare this close to the Frostback Mountains and warmer than usual. Breakfast had already been finished but Alexis didn’t mind. Leliana ran up to the young warden and ruffled her hair.
“My my Alex, you look like a shaggy dog.” the cloister sister joked.
“Yes, it’s been a while since I’ve done anything with my hair.” Alexis replied in a deep voice. “I guess I’m due for a trim.”
“Well then, I suppose it’s up to me to clean you up.” Leliana said cheerfully, pulling out her dagger a little too enthusiastically. Alexis smiled and opened her mouth to speak when she was grabbed by the arm.
“I’m afraid I need to borrow him first, Leliana.” Alistair broke in, tugging at his fellow warden’s arm.
“Oh? What for?” the red-headed rogue questioned the ex-templar.
“Official Grey Warden business, I’m afraid. Strictly confidential.” Alistair joked.
“Hmph, very well…” Leliana pouted as Alistair and Alexis walked to the junior warden’s tent. Alexis felt Morrigan watching the two of them carefully but didn’t bother to look at her. After all, Alexis herself didn’t know what Alistair wanted. Still, the witch moved in closer as the two wardens entered Alistair’s tent.
His was nearly identical to that of Alexis’, save for the miniature golem and warrior statuettes by his bedroll. From his pack, the blonde warden brought out a sizable scroll and unrolled it on the ground before them; it was an old map. The edges were torn but the body of it was still in tact, diagramming the various parts of Ferelden.
“I figured we might at well lay out our plans lest we end up lost.” Alistair said, studying the map. Alexis say down beside him and looked over all of the locations of the country. Of course she’d heard of Denerim- the Heart of Ferelden- but many other cities and locations were completely foreign to her. Alistair took a good portion of time navigating over the map and explaining the significance of the numerous locations to Alexis and their worth to the country as a whole. It wasn’t a specifically crucial lecture, but the Orlesian warden enjoyed the time as she watched Alistair speak with admiration.
“Now, we have the treaties for the Circle of Magi, the Dwarves of Orzammar-which we’ve already enacted- and the Dalish Elves.” he said, laying the treaties on their respective locations on the map.
“What makes most sense to me is to go to the Circle Tower.” Alexis stated.
“Why?” Alistair questioned.
“Well, it’s the closest from where we are…” said Alexis, pointing to the tower labeled on the map.
“But what about Arl Eamon?” Alistair broke in. “If what Ser Donall said is true, he may be dying for all we know. I can’t just ignore that- we can’t just ignore that.”
“I have no intention of ignoring it, my plan is to find a way to possibly help him while we fulfill other goals. If the mages honor their treaty, we’ll have access to magic-healing magic at that and we may be able to save him that way.” Alexis explained, putting her hand down on a place labeled “Redcliffe Village” on the map.
“And what about in the mean time? It’ll take us at least ten days to walk to the Lake Calenhad Docks and who knows how much longer to actually get to the Tower. What if he gets sicker while we’re chasing after mages? I strongly suggest we go to Redcliffe.” Alistair states, putting his hand down onto of the city on the map and, as well, on top of Alexis’ hand.
The younger warden immediately looked up at Alistair. His eyes were just as wide as hers and he held a perplexed look on his face. Alexis felt the hot tinge of embarrassment snake its way through her body, making her blush. Alistair, however, looked mortified and no gentle hue of pink graced his cheeks. The ex-templar gritted his teeth in discomfort before ripping his hand away. Alexis then did the same and tore her gaze away from Alistair, choosing instead to focus on the map.
“The Circle Tower it is, then.” the blonde haired warden said, clearing his throat. “We’ll head off tomorrow morning. That is, if you can get up in time.” he added with a nervous half-smile.
“I think I can manage.” Alexis smiled back. “…Leliana owes me a haircut, if you’ll excuse me.” she added as she rose to her feet.
“Alright.” Alistair replied. As Alexis left his tent, he rolled up the map and placed it back in his pack. He sat inside the tent in silence, mumbling to himself while examining his hand. The Grey Warden’s heart pounded in his ears and his stomach began to churn. A nauseous feeling radiated from his abdomen yet at the same time there was a soft tickle about his chest. Alex’s hand had felt so silky and inviting underneath his but…he was a man.
“Maker’s breath, what it he comes on to me?” Alistair mumbled. “What if he thinks I enjoyed it? I didn’t, I didn’t enjoy it. If he comes near me I’ll, I’ll…run him through with my…sword. No! Shield. Yes, my shield.” the warden argued with himself. Finally, he ceased his rambling and exited the tent with his hand to his forehead.
Leliana bounded excitedly up to Alexis as she walked briskly away form Alistair’s tent.
“It would seem your ‘Grey Warden business’ is taken care of now. Come, let me rid you of that mop on your head.” the cloister sister said enthusiastically.
“Yes, please.” Alexis replied, keeping her voice deep, as always.
The two friends strolled to a corner of the camp that held a fallen tree. Alexis glanced over her should just in time to see Alistair leaving the confines of his tent, obviously distressed. A pang of guilt for confusing the blonde warden pricked Alexis but Leliana’s melodic voice shifted her attention.
“Come, sit.” the Orlesian rogue motioned, patting her hand on the fallen tree. Alexis took a seat and Leliana brought out her small dagger. She worked swiftly with the blade and rotated around the warden in a complete circle. Alexis allowed her eyes to focus on Alistair at the center of camp. Small tufts of crimson hair floated down around the Orlesian warden as she took in the sight of him.
Clearly, what had happened between the two of them in his tent had confused him to no end. Alexis could almost read his lips as he mumbled aimlessly to himself. She knew that what had occurred was against his Chantry teachings but, in truth, was it really so wrong in the Maker’s eyes? After all, Alex was really Alexis- a woman- and the Maker knew that. Therefore, Alexis reasoned with herself, there’s nothing wrong with what happened. But Alistair didn’t know any of this; he was being persecuted by his own morals and beliefs for something he believed, falsely, was an act against the Maker himself. That was what was wrong about the whole thing; Alistair’s mental anguish was brought on by her actions when they, if it were not for Alexis’ disguise, never should have upset him. He needed not feel the way he did, but he had not idea.
“There! All done. I must say, you look very handsome with a proper haircut.” Leliana mused aloud. “No more shaggy split-ends for you.”
“Indeed, you did an excellent job.” Alexis said as she admired herself in a small mirror that Leliana handed her. The rogue skipped around her warden friend happily as they traveled back to camp.
“Everyone, come look!” Leliana cried out, dragging Alexis to the center of their camp. Reluctantly, the other party members gathered around the two. Alistair stood across from the pair making sure not to make eye contact with Alexis. Morrigan positioned herself next to Alexis, giving her a curious yet frustrated look. Oghren meandered over to the others on unsteady legs, obviously drunk. Sten stood calmly next to Alistair, a look of annoyance across his dark, sunken face.
“Doesn’t our dear warden look magnificent?” Leliana gushed over her work. “Fine Orlesian daggers always make for clean cuts and I must say Alex looks much better now.” she continued, then clapped her hands, encouraging the other to join in.
Alexis applauded herself awkwardly next to Leliana. Morrigan rolled her eyes but joined in anyways as Oghren smacked his hands together, nearly knocking himself over in the attempt. Even Sten let out a few- 2- stony claps before losing interest. Alexis’ attention turned then to Alistair, who was not clapping. He stared at her with harsh eyes, his arms folded across his chest. No goofy smile parted his lips as usual and Alexis felt her stomach drop as he turned his back to the group and silently walked away.