another horriblyy rocky day
thank God, i have a livejournal where i could let my feelings out; or else i`d probably go insane!
this week trully has been horrible; not just for me but my iC4L pam! grl u know i got ya back 100%!
wow; he was my first love && crush; we did everything together. we met in 3rd grade and immediately i thought he was cute; we used to tease each other; i would steal his stuff; he would "rape" me for mentos lmao; we were really best friends; he never knew that i liked him but i was crazy in love with him; we were in the same class from 3rd grade to 6th grade; it was adorable because we stook together and we went through alot; we both last family members to cancer and that brought us even closer; every1 knew that there was something between us but we never acknowledged it because he was also close with my mom and he didnt want her to kill him if he asked me out; plus we were such great friends we were afraid of risking the friendship; we graduated 8th grade together and i seen him one day that summer and then we were off our seperate ways; we went to 2 different high schools and we didnt talk; i seen him new years eve of my jr. year and we hugged and he didnt change; he was still his sexy self. but we didnt exchange numbers or whatever. that was the last time i seen him. he is still in hoboken and i`m in bayonne. then i was talkin to my grl jen last night and she said he had a kid now with some chick; omg did my heart break when i heard that. his life is ruined but also any chance of us down the line was also broken. i never cried so much in my damn life. i love him alot cause that was my first love // crush. but now i know that I have NO chance whatsoever of ever being with him. wow this totally sucks!
i had the last day of orientation; we built bears and got teez with our names airbrushed on em. it was cute. but i met this girl marissa who was telling me about the NJCU bowling team; and she gave me the number of the guy to call. i called him and he asked what i average and i said 135 and he was like basically saying its too low. but he has to speak to his fellow coaches. but omg i wanna bowl for college so bad; he said the girls on the team average 180's but i have only been bowling for 3 years so i dont have as much practice and shit as they do. its not fair. for someone who started out bowling 60's and 90s, my average is good. i`ve improved alot since when i started 3 years ago. i`m gunna be practicing my ass off and working with people better than me to help me because i wanna be on that team;
.....................so in short; life just sucks.