C&C
[PLAYER INFO]
NAME: Kirsten
AGE: 22
JOURNAL: netsrikeel1
IM: netsrikeel2
E-MAIL: netsrikeel1@gmail.com
RETURNING: N/A
[CHARACTER INFO]
CHARACTER NAME: Eridan Ampora.
FANDOM: Homestuck.
CHRONOLOGY: Immediately before HEY GUYS SPOILERS UP IN THIS BITCH he gets his homicide on.
CLASS: Villain.
SUPERHERO NAME: The Prince of Hope.
ALTER EGO: Eridan Ampora/caligulasAquarium, that one douchebag alien who is way better than all of you because god dammit he made you. By accident, yeah, but still.
BACKGROUND:
Eridan, like all the other trolls, hails from the planet Alternia, in a universe just adjacent to the one containing Earth. This is because it was the universe that originated Earth's through a convoluted game of chess that will totally be explained later on.
Anyway, Alternia is basically a breeding planet for the troll race, which originates entirely in one incestuous slurry and hatches through the mother grub, making the race at least partly insectoid. It also sucks. The sun is intolerable to all but a select few, everything considers everything else prey, there is a rigid caste system (the hemospectrum, based on blood color), and the entire planet is populated by the young of a race whose only emotions are hate, pity, and all others as derivatives of those two. Murder is a minor offense. The main form of entertainment is extreme roleplaying, where losing trolls are routinely maimed, killed, and/or fed to gigantic spiders and nameless horrorterrors from the deep. All the adults get the hell out of there as soon as they can, namely to conquer the rest of the universe. And if you don't get any action by a certain age (and fill the incredibly complicated troll romance quadrant system), you get offed.
Alternia is Not A Nice Place. Which makes Eridan's... disposition not entirely surprising, but still a bit more extreme than his gamemates'.
Eridan himself was born with noble blood, putting him within the ruling class of Alternia - he lived in a busted up pirate ship on a small island in the middle of the sea, despite being amphibious and preaching aquatic supremacy, because he is just really fucking difficult like that, and routinely (ineffectively) plotted the genocide of all land-dwelling trolls. His closest friend was his moirail, Feferi Peixes, the heir apparent to the Alternian throne and whose lusus he regularly slaughtered other trolls’ lusii to feed, because if he didn’t, it would psychically kill every troll in the universe. (Not that he minded the job, of course - he actually melded this duty with his extreme roleplaying career as Orphaner Dualscar, and was incredibly good at it.) Aside from orphaning trolls and being satisfied that they’d be sad and alone somewhere, he also spent a great deal of his time trying to fill his quadrants, to little success. His kismesis with Vriska Serket seemed to have sputtered off into nothing, he hadn’t mustered the courage to ask Feferi if she’d like to move from moirail into matesprit, and he was incredibly not smooth at all with any and all romantic and personal encounters, because he was a hipster mermaid douchebag with a genocide complex.
This went on until he and eleven other trolls, including Feferi and Vriska, all got together to play SGRUB - a game Sollux Captor, resident hacker, managed to recreate with a dead girl from ancient technology. Aradia, aforementioned dead girl, had told Sollux that playing SGRUB would save their planet - in reality, it only started the game and summoned the meteors, effectively destroying it. By that time there was nothing left to do but get in the game and save themselves, or die when Feferi’s lusus did. Or when the meteors hit them. Either/or.
Most of them managed to get in the game, natch! Sollux died, but Feferi (as the Witch of Life) brought him back with a kiss, which is basically an extra man, and they became matesprits and made lots of fish puns at each other. This was after Eridan, relieved that Feferi made it into the game safely, worked up the courage to tell her how he felt about her. And after she, exhausted by putting up with his antics and emotional theatrics, ended their moirailship. He asked her if she wanted to move into something more flushed, and she said no. Naturally, Eridan was heartbroken and dealt with it in his own way. His own special way. Meaning being a raging douche and quickly trying to replace Feferi with anyone else he could, without really trying to establish an emotional connection beforehand. All of these attempts failed. His attempts at pulling others into the caliginous (and ashen, with Feferi and Sollux) quadrants with him were all busts too. Over time he became more and more frustrated with his failures, more and more emotional, and managed to isolate people further through his dramatics. Really a vicious cycle going on here.
The twelve trolls played through the game in two teams that eventually became one, Eridan on the Land of Wrath and Angels killing all the angels he wasn’t supposed to kill just to kill them and bitching about how NOBODY WWOULD FUCKIN VVISIT HIM and also dueling Sollux (getting his ass handed to him), and in the end, managed to bring down the Black King and win the game. Their prize was an entirely new universe entirely theirs, up to them in how they would rule it.
Now here is where, had certain events not happened in a separate session of the game (called SBURB), things could have gone much differently. If the trolls had managed to claim their prize and do whatever they wanted in their new universe, there was no reason why they couldn’t just reestablish the troll race with the Matriorb in Kanaya’s possession, spread out, and ignore each other. As trolls age, their homicidal urges grow stronger, meaning putting a bunch of grown trolls in a confined space is A Bad Idea unless they’re distracted with conquering something else.
Instead of this, Jack Noir (from the SBURB session) came through into the SGRUB session by the Scratch, destroying the doorway between the trolls’ universe and the new one, as well as killing their dream selves and destroying Prospit and Derse, and forcing them to go into hiding in a cloning laboratory and wait for Jack to find and kill them. It was pretty sucky, actually! Everyone agreed. And was pissed. Karkat was the most pissed of all, actually, once he discovered the humans in the world they’d created and were unable to reach now. Through some convoluted time shenanigans by Dave Strider of the SBURB session on Earth (or in Earth’s version of the Medium), the trolls were alerted to the humans’ existence and in their orchestrating the events that would eventually cause the Jack Noir from their universe, made into a godmoding unstoppable killbeast, to come into the trolls’ universe and wreck their shit.
Earth and its universe, as it turned out, was the universe created by the twelve trolls in playing SGRUB, and the one they were supposed to rule with an iron fist. Iron fists. Various things in our universe were taken from theirs and tweaked slightly - hoofbeasts became horses/cows/something like that, nut creatures became squirrels, and the letters of the Alternian alphabet representing the troll children became the Zodiac signs in the sky. (Not everything translated, of course. Human reproduction is vastly different from the trolls’, and John still doesn’t understand why the trolls get all flustered when there’s a bucket in the room.)
Well, Karkat decided to troll the humans as something to do until they all got nuked by Jack. Not everyone joined in, some seeing it as below themselves and others being just disinterested in the business, but a couple took on humans as their patron… humans… and helped them along, and sometimes killed them. Eridan interacted with only one human, Rose Lalonde, who he vehemently told her magic was some sorta impressivve lookin hoofbeast shit but NOT MAGIC. And when she got sarcastic with him (which went right over his head), he proposed a kismesis with her. He’d teach her the weird ways of alien romance in exchange for some lessons in not-magic. She gave him a demonstration, namely by making his computer explode. Kanaya fashioned Eridan a science wand (not a magic wand!!) in response to this and Rose’s slightly suicidal plans to stop Jack, meaning it as a joke and to pacify him.
From then on (after Aradiabot exploded and ostensibly died), the troll group fell apart. Gamzee had disappeared, Aradia was dead, Terezi was beside herself after watching a Dave from a doomed timeline get killed by Jack Noir, Tavros was dead, Vriska had killed him and was now secretly remorseful, Eridan was sulking in his pile of shitty wands in the lab over Feferi and Sollux cuddling in the horn pile, and Karkat was watching his entire organized group fall apart. They’d come to the point where they, shoved in close proximity to one another while emotions ran high, began to kill one another off for their various reasons. Gamzee, cut off from his sopor slime pies, came back down from a near-permanent high and began Subjugglating, which is English for KILL FUCKING EVERYTHING. Vriska had killed Tavros. Eventually Eridan confronted Feferi and Sollux together, having decided to abandon the base and join Jack Noir, and tried to get Feferi to join him. She rebuked him again, turning around and joining with Sollux in trying to kill him to prevent him from exposing them to Jack. Eridan, whose power level was well over nine thousand due to his new position as a wizard of science, won the duel with Sollux and blinded him. Then Feferi attacked, and he killed her. Then, his genocide drive coming full circle, he destroyed the Matriorb and any chance of saving the troll race. Kanaya attacked him, and he killed her too. Then he retreated to the depths of the lab, hunting down Vriska and leaving Karkat to deal with the aftermath.
Eventually he stood opposite Vriska in the depths of the lab, preparing to once and for all deal with the bad blood between them inherited from their respective ancestors, Marquis Spinneret Mindfang and Orphaner Dualscar.
Then Gamzee interrupted, fresh from killing Equius and Nepeta, come to kill the two of them too.
Kanaya, really a rainbow drinker (vampire!!), came running in and kicked Gamzee so hard in the balls that he flew out of his shoes and sailed off one of the many dangerous precipices in the lab. Then she punched Vriska. Then she snapped Eridan’s wand, pulled her chainsaw, and sawed him right in half, killing him instantly.
THIS IS KIND OF WHERE WE ARE RIGHT NOW.
PERSONALITY:
Eridan is equal parts genocidal snob, theatrical failed romantic, and utter tool. Well, he's 100% of that last thing, but details.
Defined by his interests, as most trolls are, Eridan has adopted a persona of imperious aristocrat, lording his blood color over the lesser trolls on land and enjoying it immensely. Being born with the second richest blood color on the hemospectrum (by which trolls are ranked in social status) and as a member of the ruling class that has mutated to live underwater helps this immensely. He's most likely better than you, and because of that, he's more than happy to remind you of it. Multiple times. Because he is better than you.
Due to his blood color, Eridan has grown up as royalty - much the same as his fellow aquatic troll and long time moirail, Feferi Peixes. The difference between Eridan and Feferi is that while Feferi is cheery and doesn't believe she's better than anyone else despite her blood being the absolute highest on the spectrum, Eridan is a raging douche. He freely and fully embraces the social system of treating everyone below him in the caste system like utter hoofbeast shit, frequently using blood color in insults and going so far as to looking for a way to kill all land trolls. (it's of note that he does not live in the sea, as his race usually does, but on land in a fucked up pirate ship that's very close to the sea. He says that it's to keep an eye on the enemy.) His general genocide complex is absolutely and in no way related to his main interests, of course.
Aforementioned interests of his happen to be an infatuation with glorious military history and the conquests of various Alternian emperors and conquerors. He has meticulously modeled himself after these people and their dramatic tales of sweet victory and bitter defeat and vicious betrayal and sweeping romance, creating an imperious, proud, dramatic, and utterly obnoxious identity for himself - and it really didn’t help with his burgeoning genocide complex, either. He has one of those too. For the land trolls, who are below the royal caste and therefore worth wiping out in Eridan’s eyes. He routinely seeks doomsday devices to accomplish this feat, though none of them ever work. (It’s likely that he didn’t really want to kill them, as he could have done so at any point in time without any effort, or at least didn't want to kill them badly enough to fuck up whatever he had with Feferi at the time.) Because of this dubious self-modeling, Eridan Ampora comes off as a raging douchebag most of the time. Mostly because he is. He sees people by their worth in achieving other goals of his (going so far as to refer to Nepeta, who he also hit on at one point in time, as “the kittycat shipper cave girl” instead of by name, bitching about how she rejected him even though he saved her life by getting her into the game. Karkat calls him out on this. Eridan brushes him off and changes the subject.) and not really as people with real emotions. He also doesn't really care that he's not being as ~*sensitive*~ as he could be because fuck that noise.
However, despite this image he has crafted for himself, Eridan has his personality flaws. Well, he has a bunch of them, but his biggest has to be his failures in personal relationships - not just romantic, but also friendships. He makes himself pretty unlikable in general, and when he finds someone who may possibly kind of fit the bill for a kismesis or a matesprit, he throws himself headlong at them without considering whether or not they’re compatible with him, despite the fact that he’s very much an acquired taste. (It takes a special sort to deal with this guy on a regular basis, much less be his friend, and much much less be his matesprit/kismesis/etc.) When he is inevitably rejected, he runs off in a dramatic fashion to be comforted by the few friends he does have, and turns people off to him even more. You have the overblown dramatics about his feelings that he makes everybody's business, and then you have the moments where you can legitimately see that he's hurting - those he keeps to himself, or tries to, making a clear separation between BAWW BAWW 8'( and real, legitimate loneliness that he'd rather not have people cue in on. He's fucking royalty after all, like hell he wants the rest of them getting all up in his face about his feelings. People have to drag shit out of him, and usually after another round of emotional theatrics where he's just evasive enough to let someone know that he has SAD FEELINGS HE NEEDS TO TALK ABOUT but fuck you it's none of your businwell okay if you're that set on hearing about it...
He's incredibly dramatic with his emotions, to the point where someone making him a magic science wand gets a teary "I just needed someone to believe in me" and a chat with Karkat is turned towards why nobody would ever visit him in the Land of Wrath and Angels, those assholes, he was so lonely and he would've fucking killed to get some pansy world of fire and brains or whatever. (He leaves out the part where he was busy deliberately pissing off the millions of angel constructs he wasn't supposed to kill and slaughtering anything that moved.) He tries to swoon people into matespritship and directly antagonize them in hopes for kismesis, both of which fail more often than not, so the relationships he does manage to keep are the ones he holds on to desperately. He refuses to let what was once between him and Vriska die, sulking when he thinks she's uninterested in him, and thanking Kanaya extensively for the magic SCIENCE wand she made for him, even going so far as to promise to teach her how to "dole out the dark umbrage" on her enemies when her sarcasm flies completely over his head. Like the rest of the trolls, he goes to Karkat for romantic advice, Karkat being the leading expert on troll romance due to his passionate love for romantic comedies. And despite all the snobbery, he's not exactly above trying to establish kismesis with a human, as he did (and failed) with Rose Lalonde. Who blew up his computer. This only exacerbated his feelings, of course.
He's kind of a hypocrite okay. Especially with that, with all the romantic advances he starts with people of lesser blood colors, and the fact that he's 100% convinced that magic is FAKEY FAKE BULLSHIT and there is no such thing ever. He got up in Rose's textual face about her magic, telling her to "get off her high skyhorse", "youre not usin magic just DEAL WW IT", before backtracking and trying that kismesis thing. All this, even though he really loves magic (like Tavros' imaginary friend Rufio, except less lame), despite it being totally fake. He has (had) wizard statues in his bedroom. And Kanaya made him a wand that is POWERED BY SCIENCE and totally not magic fuck you guys. (It's probably magic.) Ignore how he calls himself a holy wizard, he means a holy wizard of MOTHERFUCKING SCIENCE.
In the end, he's trying. He's just trying way too hard, and in all the wrong directions, and being needlessly fucking difficult about everything. And occasionally rendering his entire race virtually extinct in a hissyfit, before slaughtering two people and blinding another. And then going off to duel someone else to the death.
He's not called a raging douche for nothing, y'know.
As a footnote, Eridan types in this shade a purple wwith no punctuation
he doubles his 'w's and his 'v's so when wwould be wwhen and variation wwould be vvariation
its supposed to make his typin look all wwavvy like the aquarius symbol hes got on his shirt
he doesn't use the modifiers 'of' or 'an' and instead replaces them wwith 'a' like a bucket a fish or a earphone and he takes the 'g' off -ing wwords like doin and racin and alphabetizin
sometimes he uses CAPITALS for EMPHASIS wwhen shit needs EMPHASIZIN
and he tends to swwear a wwhole fuckin lot
it kinda makes him seem dumber than he is but like hell he cares wwhat you lowwblooded assholes think a his typin style
hes got better shit to do than put up wwith this you dont evven knoww
POWER:
Eridan has magical powers a wand of SCIENCE that can apparently do things that look an awful lot like magic! The full extent of his non-magic powers is unknown, but he has shown the capability to beat out Sollux's Cyclops-like psychic eyebeams with his not-magic. One blast from this puppy can blind someone and knock them unconscious, as well as shoot holes through people and kill them, and also blow up small things. He refers to himself as a holy wizard, even though he insists that this is a wand of SCIENCE and that magic definitely does not exist definitely.
In addition, I'd like for him to keep his purple blood despite being in human form. Dude needs some ridiculous reason to feel superior, right?
[CHARACTER SAMPLES]
COMMUNITY POST (FIRST PERSON) SAMPLE:
oh youre fuckin shittin me
this better not be some sort a bonus levvel to the game or somethin i dont havve the patience for this
all a that ran out wwhen i wwas busy bein hassled by those damn angels and half a my teammates
not seein anythin wwinged holy and pissed though so thats a boon
just grubsuckin computers wwith bad attitudes talkin about heroics or somethin and shovvin shit at me
shit i better not be the only one havvin to deal wwith this wwhile evveryone else is back on that rock busy makin piles a things and settin one wwheeled ridin devvices out wwhere evverybody trips on em
fef you out there
kar
fuck id evven take that yellowblooded filth right about noww probably his fault anywway
and if you are out there are you uh
missin anythin
important
LOGS POST (THIRD PERSON) SAMPLE:
He was definitely over her.
He was most definitely over her.
He was most fucking certainly definitely over her, and no matter how this was going to look or how much he was going to want to smear that mustard blooded idiot all over the floor when he butted his way into the conversation, that didn't change how completely done with Feferi Peixes he was. Eridan was just going to offer her a chance to join him alongside Jack was all. With the recent spike in his power (in holy science, who even fucking knew how many times he'd had to explain that), they'd be unstoppable together under Jack. She just had to come to her senses and say yes. Royalty should be ruling, after all, and he was pretty set on either being back in a seat of power or at least dying with dignity - not hiding out on this rock, just waiting for Jack to find them.
Eridan rounded a corner and nearly ran smack into Terezi, marching off too fast for him to really say anything to her before she was gone. He stared after her for a second, confused, before shrugging it off and going onwards towards the telepad to the main room. Feferi and Sollux were probably there, laying on Gamzee's stupid horn pile or something (where the hell was he, anyway? Everybody seemed to be disappearing into thin air lately) and doing stupid cuddly things right there in front of everybody without a shred of common decency. Probably making fish puns at each other. Good goddamn did they irritate the fuck out of him when he had the luck of walking right into talk about 'angling for trouble' or something being 'reel [adjective]' or somebody's 'tuna voice' or a string of glubs or something. It was definitely irritation.
Definitely.
On some level he knew that this was pretty much hopeless, of course: Feferi was happy just sitting here waiting to die with her matesprit, while this station went to hell and people were exploding and all that ruckus - pretty ironic that the Prince of Hope was the one to actually do shit about their hopeless situation, but fuck, maybe if the others had started doing anything other than screwing with those asshole humans then he wouldn't be on his own right now. Karkat was trying to keep it together right now, good on him, but everybody was just off doing whatever and being all disorganized and useless. So naturally it fell to him (as the only member of the ruling class that actually took their position in the hemospectrum seriously) to make the next move. Hopefully (and he was hoping, whether or not she'd believe him if he said so) she'd come to her senses and join up with him in joining up with Jack. Maybe he could get Captor knocked off at some point in time too, since she'd probably want to drag him along, and get rid of the extra baggage. Actually he'd probably knock the asshole off himself and make it look like any handiwork but his own - that'd be something new - and then deal with how she reacted to this horrible tragedy. If she said yes.
If she didn't, well... he'd figure that out later. He had his wand on him, after all.
FINAL NOTES ABOUT YOUR CHARACTER:
N/A.