[Personal File]- Assassination Methods?
-Arsenic?
--We do have some. (I wonder why; rats, I guess?)
--Certainly a classic.
--Built up an immunity to it? For fuck's sake.
-Other poisons/drugs?
--Get something from the Nexus? Could probably find something untraceable there.
---Sarge wouldn't see it coming; that's for sure.
--Aspirin overdose is apparently possible?
---How much Aspirin would that take?
-Get one of the Blues to do it?
--How would I get into a situation to explain this plan without getting shot myself? I am not really on speaking terms with any of the Blues. (Exception: Sister. But that's Sister. I don't need a list of reasons why that wouldn't work.)
--If any of them could feasibly kill Sarge, they probably would've by now, wouldn't they? (Exception: Caboose. But I am not dumb enough to try working with Caboose.)
-Shoot him myself in such a way that the Blues can feasibly be blamed?
--Requires a combat situation.
---Could get Sarge to initiate such himself instead of waiting for the Blues to do it?
--Requires very special opportunities in said combat situation that would make it impossible to tell where my bullets are coming from.
--Very direct; high likelihood of backfiring.
-Frame Grif or Donut?
--Not that desperate.
--Wouldn't work anyway; no good motivation for either of them.
-A complicated plan involving trained squirrels who can throw nuts with deadly accuracy.
--What? Was I drunk when I added this to the list? Jesus Christ.
--There aren't even any squirrels here, for fuck's sake.
--...It would be pretty funny, though.
-Take him to the Nexus, kill him there, and tell Command that he just went through the teleporter one day and never came back?
--Technically a violation of my never-tell-Sarge-about-the-Nexus policy, but does that really matter if he doesn't live long enough to make that a problem?
--How to get Sarge into the Nexus?
---I don't think he'd believe me if I told him directly.
---"Sir, I found something through the teleporter that I think you should see."? Has merit.
--Disposal of the body would certainly be easy and convenient.
--There has to be areas of the Nexus where there wouldn't be any witnesses.
-Does Sarge have any allergies?
--I don't think he's mentioned any.
--Can't really ask that, can I?
---Maybe bring up my own allergies first?
--We do have some. (I wonder why; rats, I guess?)
--Certainly a classic.
--Built up an immunity to it? For fuck's sake.
-Other poisons/drugs?
--Get something from the Nexus? Could probably find something untraceable there.
---Sarge wouldn't see it coming; that's for sure.
--Aspirin overdose is apparently possible?
---How much Aspirin would that take?
-Get one of the Blues to do it?
--How would I get into a situation to explain this plan without getting shot myself? I am not really on speaking terms with any of the Blues. (Exception: Sister. But that's Sister. I don't need a list of reasons why that wouldn't work.)
--If any of them could feasibly kill Sarge, they probably would've by now, wouldn't they? (Exception: Caboose. But I am not dumb enough to try working with Caboose.)
-Shoot him myself in such a way that the Blues can feasibly be blamed?
--Requires a combat situation.
---Could get Sarge to initiate such himself instead of waiting for the Blues to do it?
--Requires very special opportunities in said combat situation that would make it impossible to tell where my bullets are coming from.
--Very direct; high likelihood of backfiring.
-Frame Grif or Donut?
--Not that desperate.
--Wouldn't work anyway; no good motivation for either of them.
-A complicated plan involving trained squirrels who can throw nuts with deadly accuracy.
--What? Was I drunk when I added this to the list? Jesus Christ.
--There aren't even any squirrels here, for fuck's sake.
--...It would be pretty funny, though.
-Take him to the Nexus, kill him there, and tell Command that he just went through the teleporter one day and never came back?
--Technically a violation of my never-tell-Sarge-about-the-Nexus policy, but does that really matter if he doesn't live long enough to make that a problem?
--How to get Sarge into the Nexus?
---I don't think he'd believe me if I told him directly.
---"Sir, I found something through the teleporter that I think you should see."? Has merit.
--Disposal of the body would certainly be easy and convenient.
--There has to be areas of the Nexus where there wouldn't be any witnesses.
-Does Sarge have any allergies?
--I don't think he's mentioned any.
--Can't really ask that, can I?
---Maybe bring up my own allergies first?