Baby, I promise you... [Oneshot]
Title: Baby, I promise you...
Author: sydneyjae
Pairing: YunJae (Side YooSu)
Genre: Angst? Fluff?
Length: Oneshot.
Warnings: Homosexual Relations, Character Death, Suicidal Implications
Summary: "It's not your fault, Yunho."
I never realised how beautiful the sun is. I've taken to looking at the sky quite a lot. I know he's up there. I always knew he'd have to go sometime. I just didn't know that he'd be snatched from me quite so soon and sudden.
Sometimes, I can see his face in the clouds. I begin wondering that maybe he belongs there. Angels belong in heaven, right? So surely that's were he should be. My angel. Of course, I'd rather be with him. I wish that I could visit him, touch him one last time, and I hate that it's not that easy.
It'll be a year tomorrow. Maybe as an anniversary present I could join him. Maybe if I did join him, everyone's lives would be better. Mine would be because I'd be with him. My Mum's would be because she wouldn't have to worry about me anymore. My Dad's would be because I'd be out of his way and not 'moping around the house' anymore. Changmin's, Yoochun's and Junsu's would be because they wouldn't have to put up with my random outbursts of tears and anger anymore.
I'm scared of cars. Hospitals. Sirens. Headlights. All because they took away my angel.
We were drunk. We did this every time we went to Junsu's house. We'd each bring alcohol. We're teenage boys, what else would you expect? It was dark. It was night. We were having a good time. Yoochun was grinding against Junsu as usual. Changmin was chatting up some girls over webcam and instant messaging. I was with Jae. Holding his hand. Playing with his hair. Breathing his scent. He was always so mesmerizing.
We took the party outside. I'm not sure why. We just did. It was late and the music was still blasting loudly out of the speakers. You could see that Yoochun, Junsu and Changmin were already so drunk, it was hard for them to even comprehend words. Despite this, we still each had a drink. It was mine and Jae's second. I didn't let my baby get drunk. I'd been there, done that, got the sick-stained t-shirt. The others were on their fourth or fifth. They were the ones that started it. Jae and I were sat perfectly quiet and content on Junsu's garden wall. Happy that we were in eachother's presence. If they hadn't pulled us off the wall and into the street to begin with, then none of us would be drowning in our pools of misery now. They were drunk, they never realised how dangerous it was until after it was over.
It was obvious that there was going to be some problem eventually. We expected a simple telling-off from the neigbours, a warning from the police or a hangover in the morning. We didn't realise that we'd put ourselves in actual life-threatening danger.
Everyone was quick enough. Everyone except Jae. I don't know why I didn't pull him out of the way. It's my fault. It must be. I let his hand go. I didn't protect him. I always said I'd protect him.
When it was over, the road dark again, no blinding headlights, I saw him. Lying sprawled across the road, his pale, angelic, delicate face, bruised and bleeding. I dropped to my knees, salty tears present across my face. I screamed at the top of my lungs at Changmin, ordering him to get his phone and ring the ambulance. The sight of the scene was so utterly disturbing and disgusting that I never want to see anything remotely similar to it. My beautiful angel, clothes torn, visage bruised and beaten, hair washed in a pool of blood - Changmin frantically on the phone to the emergency services, trying to explain everything that had happened - Yoochun with his palm covering his mouth, a single tear lingering on his chin - Junsu burying his face as close as possible to Yoochun, sobbing into his chest.
The ambulance came. The lights flashing here, there and everywhere. The siren piercing the cool, night air, awakening anyone that hadn't already seen the accident or heard my shrill cries at our youngest. They were afraid to lift my angel. They said it might hurt him more. I didn't want that. But I didn't want to see him just laying there lifeless. He was breathing, but only slightly. I thought that if they touched him, it'd knock the air out of him. I held his hand until they snatched him from me, when they put him in the back of the ambulance. They wouldn't let me stay with him, which made my tears more frequent. I didn't really care if people saw me crying. Changmin, Yoochun and Junsu had never seen me cry before. Actually, that's a lie. They saw me cry when my Mum threw away my Bambi when I was fourteen. This was different. Jae wasn't a fluffy animal. Jae was a beautiful doll. Jae had been the only person to ever see me cry other than that time.
"It's not your fault, Yunho.", Junsu said trying to calm me down. The hypocrite. He was crying almost as much as I was, but we didn't really notice except from his puffy eyes because his face was continuously hidden by Yoochun, who he didn't really let go of.
I thought I was stranded. None of us could drive there, we were all way too over the limit, and I definately wasn't thinking straight. Changmin called his Dad, who ranted and raved about just about everything Min said. He complained that he'd woken him up, he shouted about drinking so much, he screamed down the phone when Changmin said we were in the road but he gasped and promised he'd be there in two minutes when he found out that Jae had been the one knocked down. Everyone's parents adored Jae. Everyone adored Jae. My Jae. My angel. That's exactly what he was. An angel in the form of a beautiful human being. Someone who the girls at school talked to when they had problems. Someone who would always off to wash up, even when he was at someone else's house. Someone who didn't know hate. So how could anyone hate him?
The four of us got to the hospital at the exact time he was being wheeled into Accident and Emergency. I thanked Changmin's father for taking us in his car in the early hours of the morning. It was something I'd learnt from Jae. Politeness will get you far. He pat me on the back and wished Jae luck. He said that he'd be waiting in his car for us. All five of us.
Surprisingly, I found that my tears had stopped as I pressed my face against the glass of A and E. I could hear my angel's voice in my head telling me that he'd be okay. That I needn't worry and to stop crying. Yoochun prised me away from the window and told me that if I was patient, Jae would be out in no time.
I took a seat on one of the horrible plastic chairs in the waiting area, the white lights blinding me. I didn't realise how ironic hospitals were until then. People say that when you die, you see a white light. The white lights of the hospital must surely confuse some people. When you know you've been in an accident and while you're being wheeled around the corners, do you ever think, 'I must be dying.'? A terrible thought, but it flushed through me. Was that what Jae was thinking? It was all I could think about. This was making me crazy.
We must've waited for hours. I must've seen a thousand people walk in and out of the white double doors. Friday night. Most people had gotten themselves into silly situations, like hands stuck in things, concussion from triping over or bar fights.
The other three fell asleep after an hour. Changmin slumped back into his seat, Junsu resting his head on Yoochun's shoulderand Yoochun's face in Junsu's hair. No matter how tired I was or how tirey were making me feel, I needed to stay awake. What if Jae came walking out and I wasn't there to help him, or he didn't know we were here and tried getting home on his own.
When the two doctors woke the other three and gestured for us to enter a side door, I began asking a million and one questions. Was Jae okay? When would he be coming home? Could I see him?
I'm not sure how I acted when they told me that my beautiful, innocent, pure, virgin angel had passed away fifteen minutes beforehand. I think I laughed it off. They couldn't be serious. Jae was a fighter. He hated losing. The doctors couldn't have been talking about him and I refused to believe it. I still do now. Sometimes I think that someone else died that day and Jae's still out there, waiting somewhere for me. Well, I hope.
The last thing I said to him was, 'I never want you to leave me, Boo.' I guess that fate decided that I needed something to tear my heart into two. It decided to go against the very thing that I'd asked for.
I ran away from the hospital, once again in tears. I had no idea where I was going. I didn't want an idea of where I was going. At first, I could hear three voices in unison, calling my name, their footsteps splashing in the puddles that the clouds had created while we'd been inside, but they slowly faded out. That was when I noticed the sky. The sky was crying with me. I knew that's where my angel must've gone. He made the sky's tears fall from heaven. Something that connected him with me. I think of him every time I see it. He told me to. The day I made my empty promise...
---
Yunho fiddled with the picture. The anger swirled inside him and he needed to release it. Jaejoong's life was being ruined by this ugly creep? He felt the tears prickle his eyes. How could anyone dare to hurt his baby? Yunho only remembered crying once. When his Mum had said he was too old for toys anymore and had taken away his Bambi in front of his friends.
Before burying his head between his knees and chest, he screwed the shiny paper up and threw it at the wall, nearly missing the figure that had just entered.
Jaejoong reached down at the crumpled photo of the guy who'd been giving him bruises each day when he crossed his path. He wondered how Yunho had gotten it and why he was so upset about it. Was this really what his beloved was sobbing about? Of course, he would care, but not enough to make him cry.
"...Yunnie? What's wrong?"
Jumping at the sound of the voice he knew all too well, Yunho stayed silent, embarrassed and trying to avoid showing his face to the younger male.
"Yunho. You better tell me now, or so help me, I'll ban you from even touching me!" Jaejoong smirked, but Yunho took it seriously, grabbing the blonde's wrists and pulling him down next to him.
"It's... that... bastard."
Jaejoong reached out to Yunho's face and wiped the tears from his cheek, his thumb rolling over his clear scar, sending a small shock down his spine.
"Why are you even worrying, Yunnie? I can handle it." Jaejoong said, smiling in a way that dumbfounded anyone that hadn't become immune to it.
"I wasn't there for you. I can't be there for you."
"You're already doing a fine job if I do say so myself."
Jaejoong broke up Yunho's stance and placed himself on the taller male's lap, entwining their fingers with one hand and fiddling with a thread on the other's t-shirt with the other. Yunho rested his head on Jaejoong's shoulder, smelling that familiar vanilla scent that his beloved gave off and left on him every time they were close.
"Jae?"
"Hmm?"
"I promise I'll be there for you from now on. I'll protect you, okay? From anything that threatens you in any way.", Yunho announced, stroking Jaejoong's flaxen locks.
The petite male didn't reply, he just nuzzled his nose into Yunho's chest and sighed. That was enough to put a smile on Yunho's face.
When Jaejoong finally looked up, his gaze me with the window.
"Yunnie, if I ever leave..."
"What? You're not going anywhere."
The blonde giggled.
"I know, but if I do, whenever you look at the sky, will you think of me?"
"I promise you, boo."
---
I had to keep at least one promise. If I hadn't protected him well enough from the horrible gas-smelling engine of the car that had so harshly taken away my beautiful angel, I owed him the second promise. I owed him everything. I think maybe I will see him tomorrow. Then I can renew the promise, though nothings going to hurt us where he is.
My angel. He was mine. He is mine. He will always be mine.
AN - I'm so sorry people! I went on holiday for a week last week and I haven't been able to update. I don't have anything for a long enough chapter, but it'll be soon. I got some weird kind of inspiration and I wrote this. I got kinda upset because I killed Joongie and i don't like character deaths. D: and i love joongie. Yunho's kinda gone a little crazy, but it's cutee~. =D
Comments are really loved!!! <3
Angst fail? (: