Crippling Fear
I don't know what it is about my psyche, but I just really fall apart when I think about actually going out into the working world and being taken seriously. I've fixed my resume a couple dozen times, but when it comes to actually applying for jobs.. I just can't bring myself to do it half the time. The thought of going into an office.. having to do the whole song-and-dance bullshit blah blah blah, all the while being silently judged.. it's almost crippling. I can hear my father in my head, 'just go out and get it done,' but it just.. hurts. I wish the world were different, and I want to have a part in making it different, but the actual getting started part is scary.