It's The Difference Between Now and Then
Title: It’s The Difference Between Now and Then
Author: Kendra sykoxfreak
Summary: No matter what happens, and no matter how many times they break each other’s hearts, they’ll come back to each other.
Rating: PG-13
Notes: Made for my Playlist (Duh!) Prompt No. 21 Keith Urban ‘You’ll Think of Me’. May be a tad confusing, but I think y’all are smart enough to get it.
The Playlist
Then
"Bobby, this is St. John Allerdyce," the professor said, a coo in his voice. "I would like it if you showed Mr. Allerdyce around the mansion."
Bobby cast his ice blue eyes on the scrawny boy sitting in the large leather chair in front of Professor X’s desk. The boy-John-had his head downward, watching the floor with increasing interest. He didn’t seem to notice that anyone was even in the room. Bobby got lost, staring at this boy who was too skinny to be how old he was.
"He likes you, Bobby," Professor X said, making Bobby jump. "I asked you here today because John here doesn’t seem to want to trust anybody, but he said that you looked trustworthy." Professor X smiled at Bobby, who crinkled his nose at John.
Suddenly, without warning, John started to air-guitar to nothing. That’s when Bobby realized that hidden under the blonde hair that fell past his ears were headphones. The Professor started laughing at the look that danced across Bobby’s face.
"Yes, Mr. Allerdyce really enjoys a band called Sum 41," he said, smiling at the teen. "John."
The boys head whipped up and that’s when Bobby saw the bruises that graced a face that was too mature to be only 15. Past the bruises and cuts, his face held some softness to it, like he was waiting for someone to come and rescue him. But the sneer that formed on his lips told Bobby that if he referred to him as a damsel in distress bad things were going to happen to him. Beyond the black eyes, John’s iris were the color of mahogany with sparkles of gold.
John pulled the CD player out from the front pocket in his worn black hoodie and clicked it off. He blushed lightly, and Bobby instantly knew that John was just a nervous little boy hiding behind a bad-ass attitude.
"Hi, I’m Bobby."
"John."
Now
John lays scissor shaped across Bobby’s bed, pale chest glowing in the morning sunshine. He’s sleeping quietly, and Bobby can’t help but think that he’s still that innocent little boy who needed some rescuing. Bobby’s sitting in the corner, grasping a cup of coffee, and watching his boyfriend sleep silently. Bobby was stupid enough to let John slip through his grasp once, and he won’t let it happen again.
John rolls to his side, coming very close to falling off the other man’s bed. Bobby chuckles to himself when John finally does fall. The blonde sits up suddenly, and looks around the room. He smiles lazily when he sees his boyfriend sitting calmly in the corner.
"Whatcha doing sitting over there?" John asked, sleep lacing his voice.
"Watching you."
"Why?"
Then
John leans over Bobby, who’s asleep on the floor. He smiles and drags his thin finger up his lover’s chest. John smirks when he feels the muscles twitch.
"For a sixteen year old, you’re overly horny," Bobby’s mumble filled the once quiet dorm room.
"I’m nearly seventeen, and I’m making up for lost time," John said, whispering against Bobby’s neck. John inhaled Bobby’s scent and he was welcomed the smell. It was of tangerines, musk, and faint fabric softener from Bobby’s clothes. The blonde adored that smell.
"Lost time?"
"Bobby, remember when Professor X said that I liked you?" John asked, propping himself up on his elbows. Bobby nodded. "What I said was I thought you were kinda, sorta, a little bit, cute." Bobby smiled at John, still overcome with sleep.
"John where do you see yourself in five years?"
"With you."
Bobby knew what that meant. And the only thing he could do was move himself over so that John was slowly being pinned under him. They kiss slowly, smoothly, never wanting it to end.
Now
"No real reason. You’re a beautiful figure to watch; awake or asleep," Bobby replies, setting his empty coffee cup on the carpeted floor, and gets on his hands and knees. Bobby crawls towards John, and Bobby sees the lust cloud over John’s eyes.
"Where do you see yourself in five years?" John asks suddenly as Bobby lays himself across the smaller man. Bobby’s shocked at the question, but answers anyway.
"With you."
John opens his brown eyes, the gold in them dull and faint. Bobby’s eyebrows go into his hairline, but he ignores his lovers eyes, which are usually full of life when ever they talk about their future. John sits up, and pushes Bobby off of him.
"I can’t do this anymore."
"What?!"
"I can’t do this anymore. I can’t see you with me!"
"John………"
Then
"I can’t do this anymore, John," Bobby whispers into John’s hair as the boy’s drifting off into a sleep. But the words that fall from Bobby’s mouth are like ten thousand pounds of weight on his chest; his heart was cracking under the weight.
"What?!"
"I can’t do it. It’s too much work," Bobby said, pushing John away from his gently. "I…I don’t see myself with you anymore, John. At one point and time I did. I loved you. But that’s the keyword: loved."
"Are you saying…what I think you’re saying?"
"I don't love you."
John’s teary brown eyes are dull and faint, it’s just like they just died. The eighteen year old pushes Bobby away angrily, and stands up. He picked up the nearest shirt, and threw it on, not caring whose it was or whether it was clean or not.
"Fuck you, Drake!" John screams at the top of his lungs. "I loved you, and this is what you do to me!?"
Bobby stays silent.
"I gave you everything that there is in me! Did it even mean anything to you?"
Once again, Bobby refuses to answer.
"Go to hell, you son of a bitch!" John’s nothing but a mess of tears now. "You did it! You made me fall apart, but contrary to your promise, but you have yet to put me back together!"
Bobby couldn’t look at the emotional man, so he merely stares at his thumb.
"Someday, you’ll think of me. Someday, baby……someday!" John slams the dorm door, and walks out of Bobby’s life for good.
Now
"Why are you doing this?!" Bobby cried.
"I can’t do this anymore!" John cried. "This is the end of the road, Bobby-boy!" Bobby gripped at John’s wrist.
"No! You can’t do this to me!" Bobby stared up John. "You’re not leaving me again." John leaned in close to Bobby’s face.
"How does it feel, Drake, to have your heart torn out, broken-shattered-into a million fucking pieces, stomped on, spat on, and handed back to you?" John seethed in one breath, growing louder and louder by each word until he was screaming.
"It feels like shit," Bobby whispered, letting John go.
"Now feel like that for four years, then you’ll know how I’ve felt," He whispers as he pushes Bobby roughly.
Bobby curls his legs up to his chest and rested his head on his drawn up knees. He watches as John walks out the door for the second time in their relationship.
Then
"I missed you a lot." John whispered in between kisses. The other twenty-one year old laced his fingers though the soft sandy brown hair. John started to moan quietly as Bobby slid down John’s neck. He softly sucked and nipped at John’s tanned neck.
"Where’d did you go?" Bobby whispered in John’s ear. The warm breath surrounded John’s ear and sent shivers down his spine.
"Australia. Went to see my mum," John said breathless.
"How she doing?" Bobby asked, tugging on John’s earlobe.
"Talk later. Sex now."
"I love you, John."
"I love you, too."
Now
"It wasn’t meant to be. If it was, would have lasted!" John yells, throwing a lamp at Bobby’s head. "Now leave."
"I’m not leaving. Not again!"
John sniffles, and holds in a sob. "Get out of my house, Bobby."
"No."
The sob spills past his lips. "Why do you make everything so hard?"
"Love’s hard, John," Bobby said, coming closer to John. John backed up until his was flat against the wall. "If it was easy, we wouldn’t love each other as much-"
"I don’t love you, Bobby!!" John yelled. "I stopped loving you that day you broke my heart." His voice was soft and guarded.
"Liar," Bobby hissed. John closed his eyes and shook his head.
"Why are you doing this?"
"Because we’re meant to be together! It’s fate!" Bobby said, grabbing John’s hand. The twenty-five year old pulled his hand away, and shoved Bobby lightly.
"I don’t believe in fate."
"Why are you lying to yourself?"
"For the last fucking time, I’m not lying! Bobby, I don’t love you! I don’t need you. You need to move on!"
"I don’t want to move on, John!" Bobby cries, pulling John into a tight embrace. John tried to pull out of the hug, but when Bobby’s hand travels down to the small of his back, he stops his flailing. The hug was too familiar. "And after all this, I am so confused. I am still not sure how you feel about me. I still don't know if you ever cried over me like I cried over you. The only thing I am certain of is I will never find another you."
"I don’t…" John was sobbing into Bobby’s shoulder. "I don’t…love you, Bobby." Contrary, to what John said his arms found themselves around Bobby’s neck.
"Look me in the eyes and say that."
John pulls back just far enough to see Bobby’s eyes. They were just as blue as they were when he was sixteen. "I don’t………love you." They leaned in close, both closing their eyes. Their lips touched softly for the first time in three years.
After Everything
They didn’t agree on much. In fact, they rarely agreed on anything. They fought all the time and they challenged each other everyday, but in spite their differences, they had one important thing in common.
They were crazy about one another.
Author: Kendra sykoxfreak
Summary: No matter what happens, and no matter how many times they break each other’s hearts, they’ll come back to each other.
Rating: PG-13
Notes: Made for my Playlist (Duh!) Prompt No. 21 Keith Urban ‘You’ll Think of Me’. May be a tad confusing, but I think y’all are smart enough to get it.
The Playlist
Then
"Bobby, this is St. John Allerdyce," the professor said, a coo in his voice. "I would like it if you showed Mr. Allerdyce around the mansion."
Bobby cast his ice blue eyes on the scrawny boy sitting in the large leather chair in front of Professor X’s desk. The boy-John-had his head downward, watching the floor with increasing interest. He didn’t seem to notice that anyone was even in the room. Bobby got lost, staring at this boy who was too skinny to be how old he was.
"He likes you, Bobby," Professor X said, making Bobby jump. "I asked you here today because John here doesn’t seem to want to trust anybody, but he said that you looked trustworthy." Professor X smiled at Bobby, who crinkled his nose at John.
Suddenly, without warning, John started to air-guitar to nothing. That’s when Bobby realized that hidden under the blonde hair that fell past his ears were headphones. The Professor started laughing at the look that danced across Bobby’s face.
"Yes, Mr. Allerdyce really enjoys a band called Sum 41," he said, smiling at the teen. "John."
The boys head whipped up and that’s when Bobby saw the bruises that graced a face that was too mature to be only 15. Past the bruises and cuts, his face held some softness to it, like he was waiting for someone to come and rescue him. But the sneer that formed on his lips told Bobby that if he referred to him as a damsel in distress bad things were going to happen to him. Beyond the black eyes, John’s iris were the color of mahogany with sparkles of gold.
John pulled the CD player out from the front pocket in his worn black hoodie and clicked it off. He blushed lightly, and Bobby instantly knew that John was just a nervous little boy hiding behind a bad-ass attitude.
"Hi, I’m Bobby."
"John."
Now
John lays scissor shaped across Bobby’s bed, pale chest glowing in the morning sunshine. He’s sleeping quietly, and Bobby can’t help but think that he’s still that innocent little boy who needed some rescuing. Bobby’s sitting in the corner, grasping a cup of coffee, and watching his boyfriend sleep silently. Bobby was stupid enough to let John slip through his grasp once, and he won’t let it happen again.
John rolls to his side, coming very close to falling off the other man’s bed. Bobby chuckles to himself when John finally does fall. The blonde sits up suddenly, and looks around the room. He smiles lazily when he sees his boyfriend sitting calmly in the corner.
"Whatcha doing sitting over there?" John asked, sleep lacing his voice.
"Watching you."
"Why?"
Then
John leans over Bobby, who’s asleep on the floor. He smiles and drags his thin finger up his lover’s chest. John smirks when he feels the muscles twitch.
"For a sixteen year old, you’re overly horny," Bobby’s mumble filled the once quiet dorm room.
"I’m nearly seventeen, and I’m making up for lost time," John said, whispering against Bobby’s neck. John inhaled Bobby’s scent and he was welcomed the smell. It was of tangerines, musk, and faint fabric softener from Bobby’s clothes. The blonde adored that smell.
"Lost time?"
"Bobby, remember when Professor X said that I liked you?" John asked, propping himself up on his elbows. Bobby nodded. "What I said was I thought you were kinda, sorta, a little bit, cute." Bobby smiled at John, still overcome with sleep.
"John where do you see yourself in five years?"
"With you."
Bobby knew what that meant. And the only thing he could do was move himself over so that John was slowly being pinned under him. They kiss slowly, smoothly, never wanting it to end.
Now
"No real reason. You’re a beautiful figure to watch; awake or asleep," Bobby replies, setting his empty coffee cup on the carpeted floor, and gets on his hands and knees. Bobby crawls towards John, and Bobby sees the lust cloud over John’s eyes.
"Where do you see yourself in five years?" John asks suddenly as Bobby lays himself across the smaller man. Bobby’s shocked at the question, but answers anyway.
"With you."
John opens his brown eyes, the gold in them dull and faint. Bobby’s eyebrows go into his hairline, but he ignores his lovers eyes, which are usually full of life when ever they talk about their future. John sits up, and pushes Bobby off of him.
"I can’t do this anymore."
"What?!"
"I can’t do this anymore. I can’t see you with me!"
"John………"
Then
"I can’t do this anymore, John," Bobby whispers into John’s hair as the boy’s drifting off into a sleep. But the words that fall from Bobby’s mouth are like ten thousand pounds of weight on his chest; his heart was cracking under the weight.
"What?!"
"I can’t do it. It’s too much work," Bobby said, pushing John away from his gently. "I…I don’t see myself with you anymore, John. At one point and time I did. I loved you. But that’s the keyword: loved."
"Are you saying…what I think you’re saying?"
"I don't love you."
John’s teary brown eyes are dull and faint, it’s just like they just died. The eighteen year old pushes Bobby away angrily, and stands up. He picked up the nearest shirt, and threw it on, not caring whose it was or whether it was clean or not.
"Fuck you, Drake!" John screams at the top of his lungs. "I loved you, and this is what you do to me!?"
Bobby stays silent.
"I gave you everything that there is in me! Did it even mean anything to you?"
Once again, Bobby refuses to answer.
"Go to hell, you son of a bitch!" John’s nothing but a mess of tears now. "You did it! You made me fall apart, but contrary to your promise, but you have yet to put me back together!"
Bobby couldn’t look at the emotional man, so he merely stares at his thumb.
"Someday, you’ll think of me. Someday, baby……someday!" John slams the dorm door, and walks out of Bobby’s life for good.
Now
"Why are you doing this?!" Bobby cried.
"I can’t do this anymore!" John cried. "This is the end of the road, Bobby-boy!" Bobby gripped at John’s wrist.
"No! You can’t do this to me!" Bobby stared up John. "You’re not leaving me again." John leaned in close to Bobby’s face.
"How does it feel, Drake, to have your heart torn out, broken-shattered-into a million fucking pieces, stomped on, spat on, and handed back to you?" John seethed in one breath, growing louder and louder by each word until he was screaming.
"It feels like shit," Bobby whispered, letting John go.
"Now feel like that for four years, then you’ll know how I’ve felt," He whispers as he pushes Bobby roughly.
Bobby curls his legs up to his chest and rested his head on his drawn up knees. He watches as John walks out the door for the second time in their relationship.
Then
"I missed you a lot." John whispered in between kisses. The other twenty-one year old laced his fingers though the soft sandy brown hair. John started to moan quietly as Bobby slid down John’s neck. He softly sucked and nipped at John’s tanned neck.
"Where’d did you go?" Bobby whispered in John’s ear. The warm breath surrounded John’s ear and sent shivers down his spine.
"Australia. Went to see my mum," John said breathless.
"How she doing?" Bobby asked, tugging on John’s earlobe.
"Talk later. Sex now."
"I love you, John."
"I love you, too."
Now
"It wasn’t meant to be. If it was, would have lasted!" John yells, throwing a lamp at Bobby’s head. "Now leave."
"I’m not leaving. Not again!"
John sniffles, and holds in a sob. "Get out of my house, Bobby."
"No."
The sob spills past his lips. "Why do you make everything so hard?"
"Love’s hard, John," Bobby said, coming closer to John. John backed up until his was flat against the wall. "If it was easy, we wouldn’t love each other as much-"
"I don’t love you, Bobby!!" John yelled. "I stopped loving you that day you broke my heart." His voice was soft and guarded.
"Liar," Bobby hissed. John closed his eyes and shook his head.
"Why are you doing this?"
"Because we’re meant to be together! It’s fate!" Bobby said, grabbing John’s hand. The twenty-five year old pulled his hand away, and shoved Bobby lightly.
"I don’t believe in fate."
"Why are you lying to yourself?"
"For the last fucking time, I’m not lying! Bobby, I don’t love you! I don’t need you. You need to move on!"
"I don’t want to move on, John!" Bobby cries, pulling John into a tight embrace. John tried to pull out of the hug, but when Bobby’s hand travels down to the small of his back, he stops his flailing. The hug was too familiar. "And after all this, I am so confused. I am still not sure how you feel about me. I still don't know if you ever cried over me like I cried over you. The only thing I am certain of is I will never find another you."
"I don’t…" John was sobbing into Bobby’s shoulder. "I don’t…love you, Bobby." Contrary, to what John said his arms found themselves around Bobby’s neck.
"Look me in the eyes and say that."
John pulls back just far enough to see Bobby’s eyes. They were just as blue as they were when he was sixteen. "I don’t………love you." They leaned in close, both closing their eyes. Their lips touched softly for the first time in three years.
After Everything
They didn’t agree on much. In fact, they rarely agreed on anything. They fought all the time and they challenged each other everyday, but in spite their differences, they had one important thing in common.
They were crazy about one another.